DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2017

18

Jan

JoJo Levesque Still Trying to Do it of the Day

Jojo Levesque is the mystery Jailbait from an era of long ago who is no longer jailbait…because she’s old…

I don’t even remember why she was famous, or any of her songs, or why she disappeared when she was her peak…that wasn’t really a peak…so she’s some meat perverts jerked off to before she turned 18….even though she was never really hot….because Americans fucking love under 18 year old girls…they are illegal…like Mexicans…who America doesn’t love…where’s the logic in that…

She’s obviously back on the scene trying to get some attention, because this is what she wears in concert….good hustle…see through outfits for everyone…why not…get noticed…make it happen…live the dream…I’ll watch.

Posted in:Jojo Levesque|SFW

2017

18

Jan

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Erotica of the Day

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Naughty naughty naughty..

Skinny – mid 30s – fake tits Brazilian mom who is a Victoria’s Secret Model – Alessandra Ambrosio is posting slutty selfies because this is what models do, this is what she does, this is what happens when you’ve been half naked for ever, when it’s your only skill, it’s how you value yourself and you feel yourself getting older and falling the fuck a part…

Put it out there even when they aren’t getting paid to put it out there….because when you have money…the pay you crave is likes and follows and comments she’s saying is hot…

So even when she’s not getting paid she’s bringing the goods…..

Old tired boring still naked enough.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|SFW

2017

18

Jan

Anja Rubik Topless for Vogue of the Day

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Anja Rubik is a big model from Poland, but all models are big…in size…all tall and creepy as fuck….but they look good on camera…just not when you’re next to them.

She’s been in the game forever…or what feels like forever and she’s shown her tits the entire time pretty much all the fucking time…because that’s how sex workers who aren’t sex workers but should be sex workers thanks to being Eastern European…

She’s done all kinds of model work from High Fashion shit to hipster fashion shit to the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show…and now her tits make another appearance in Vogue….magical…

Posted in:Anja Rubik

2017

18

Jan

Jessica Biel Ass of the Day

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Here is Jessica Biel…the girl who was on Seventh Heaven, did a slutty shoot and found the man who I assume she was groupie-ing – because he’s Justin Timberlake….to lock the fuck down….

You know the kind of young starlet who got into acting because she learned how to masturbate watching Mickey Mouse club, making him a part of her life…deeply engrained…

You know sliding her hands in her panties until tickled while reading one of those teen beat mags…listeing to these 90s idiots singing and dancing before they went pop…or in Ryan Goslings case…went LaLa Land…a role you’d think he never sang or danced before having…

All leading her to LA to hunt the motherfucker down, trapping him, letting him do whatever the fuck he wanted while touring, while she was at the gym, working out hard, showing him she’d always be there for him, even when he fucked up along the way, forcing him to marry her, leaving him with no option to knock her up…..all because she’s been so cool along the way and no other chick would put up with that, or have what they have, leaving her to no need to work her shitty movies, so she can focus on her pit bulls, her fitness, and spending motherfucker’s money in her old lady pajama style dress I am trying to look up…

Here is her ass in jeans…because she’s now back at work..in the movies while making babies..because that’s what you do when you’re fit in your 30s…and trying to stay relevant….even if you’re not.

Posted in:Jessica Biel|SFW

2017

18

Jan

Rita Ora Ass Flash of the Day

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Rita Ora flashed her ass…probably to celebrate her 11 million followers…but mainly to get in the tabloids for showing her ass…that she just landed and that I just wrote about yesterday…which is more than enough Rita Ora coverage…as she’s not that interesting…stop trying to get me to write about this Rihanna impersonator….

She’s famous for no real reason…but she has hit 11 million followers…and that is a huge deal, that’s a lot of people, it’s exciting when you desperately want to be adorned…and she decided to take a titty selfie to thank her fans…who funny enough don’t even know who the fuck she is…they just know she’s got tits…

I mean maybe they know she sings…but they can’t name a song…or that she is on TV but they can’t name the show….or that she booked a Euro lingerie campaign…but that doesn’t matter….maybe they know that she had a song once…or that she had a record deal thanks to fucking the producers as she navigated her way through the scene….maybe they know she fucked a kardashian to get to this 11 million people place she calls home…a home where 11 million people don’t know why they follow her…

She’s the Rihanna impersonator who never quite made it as the Rihanna- but who apparently made it to 11 million loyal fans who don’t know what she’ does…or who she is and that’s something….and so are her tits…her tits are something…and as you know tits matter.

Posted in:Rita Ora|SFW

2017

18

Jan

Amalie Lund is a Model of the Day

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Amalie Lund is some no name model. She’s in a bikini…I have no information on her other than that she does photoshoots in her bikini….because every girl in the world – even the fat ones do that…and I am only posting it because I like looking at skinny girls in bikinis…I like helping them on their mission to get famous because they think they are hotter, skinnier or maybe as hot and as skinny as all the other girls, so she deserves a fucking shot at the money….because that’s how ego, narcissism, and all that other bullshit…and I fully agree with her…all girls deserve a shot…before they are too old, too broken, too battered by all the rich cock that’s been inside them along the way…on their journey in the story they are writing….as they just seeem like people who are male attention seeking….looking for likes and follows….as they should because that’s what matters…

Posted in:Amalie Lund|SFW

2017

18

Jan

Baywatch has Calendar of the Day

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Baywatch is really reminding you that they are from the 90s by releasing a shitty Calendar to hype up their stupid fucking movie….because the 90s are in and you better fucking cash in…

From Tommy to Calvin Klein to every brand from the 90s re-releasing logos from their brand in the 90s….to Hollywood having no idea, trying to attempt to get the nostalgic 30+ viewer to buy movie tickets – since no one under 30 goes to the movies…

So even 90s shitty TV has a shot to be revived…even though in the 90s people only watched it because there were tits in bathing suits on a Friday or Saturday night – in an era pre internet – when we were forced to jerk off to VHS porn and print magazines…featuring the same girls that were in Baywatch…

Their movie features girls we can google…naked…so why sit through an hour of bad writing…because the Rock is in it? Winning formula…

There is no way anyone is actually emotionally attached to the show, or even nostalgic on the show, but if they exist, you best steer clear from the theater, because it will be filled with the worst humans possible…and that’s a fucking fact…

There is no way this won’t be a flop….it has to be a flop….in the mean time…here’s their calendar cuz they know their market…of losers..

Posted in:Baywatch|SFW

2017

18

Jan

Mike Tyson’s Song About Chris Brown Fight of the DAY

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I was talking to Chris Brown’s make-up artist on the internet, because real men need make-up artists….and he told me about some bullshit about Chris Brown and Soulja boy having seom kind of fight in Dubai because they are fighting over some girl…and like the publicity that comes when you’re two ridiculous idiots….

Well, apparently Chris Brown is being trained by Mike Tyson, who also like publicity and decided to make a song about it…they have a lot in common like they are so manly, they know how to beat and rape women….all that testosterone raging….

I like some lines about Shitting your pants, and being a venereal disease…because it’s ridiculous…but ultimately…it’s ridiculous.

Posted in:SFW|Videos

2017

18

Jan

This is Not Madonna’s Pussy of the Day

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Madonna posted a picture on her instagram of a Nike swoosh drawn on a pussy…in make-up…

It’s her attempt to encourage as many girls as possible to protest TRUMP through feminism….which isn’t really feminism because feminists can’t have bald pussy..it’s about the bush…bush I fucking love…just not when it’s this groomed…

But there’s no way this is Madonna’s pussy because there isn’t a reptile tongue sticking out of her…there are no zombie hands…it doesn’t look like a horror movie character…because she’s a fucking monster…

Posted in:Madonna|SFW

2017

18

Jan