DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2017

20

Mar

Ariel Winter Sucking it In with a Huge Cigar of the Day

Ariel Winter just keeps bringing it…this is an outfit she wore a couple of weeks ago, that I guess she looked hot in, or maybe it was her impersonation of Monica Lewinsky that she’s putting out there as she is trying to play her in the upcoming Hilary Clinton biopic, because she’s got about the same level of sex appeal as Lewinsky, in a “well she’s young and around, I’ll fuck her with this cigar”…

She’s also pretty happy with how her big re-shaped tits – have managed to offset her gut that is not spilling over her pants like it should, because of a simple thing called photoshop or maybe it’s the asian food enema from eating tainted feces grown lettuce….because this is from her China trip…since China’s the future or some shit, and I’d be surprised if this one was, but she’s done pretty alright with herself as a child star to insta thot straight thotting…thot provoking…thotful…all while remaining a bit of a pig…something people seem to like because she’s on TV…

I guess what I am getting at is that Ariel winter looks like this pretty much never…but it happened once so take it in….

Posted in:Ariel Winter|SFW

2017

20

Mar

Toni Garrn and EMily DiDonato in Bikinis of the Day

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I live in a world where everything is so fucking gutter. Girls, even the fancy ones, are shameless self promoting hookers. The exhibitionism…the slutty photoshoots…the playing up the whole “I am a model”…bullshit….is just shoved down our throat…even the fancy rich bitches are Kardashians and rathcet, vile, stripper like…and the strippers and sex workers I hang out with are ratchet, vile, stripper like….and even professional women are ratchet, vile and stripper like…just get some Xanax and Wine in them and next thing you know they are showing you how they twerk…it’s the worst…or the best….but I remember a time when the hot girl was the quiet girl, the turtle neck girl, the tame girl, the shy girl, the girl in her J.Crew Khakis who you’d find out once in the bedroom was a virgin, but really into ANAL…you know….because GOD doesn’t count anal as sex…it’s just masturbating with poop…that’s why the priests are into it…Yes…church girls…who aren’t broken and into fucking their mom’s crucifix…Tennis club girls who aren’t ass spread on social media…you know classic classy class…

So here’s J.Crew porn…featuring some models to tap into that…

Posted in:Emily DiDonato|SFW|Toni Garrn

2017

20

Mar

Funny Girl Natasha Leggero Impersonator Nudes of the Day

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These are some pics of a Natasha Leggero impersonator, roasting Natasha Leggero, by putting out nude selfies pretending to be the roaster, who is actually one of those funny girls that has a bit of sexual appeal, if you’re into girls who are funny, which I generally don’t….

She’s older, rough, but taking nude selfies as she should…according to owning a vagina…

I mean sure, I’ll humor a bitch if she’s out with me and cracking jokes, and sometimes, usually when she’s fat she’ll say something clever and get a little laugh out of me, not usually a physical laugh…but I feel it in my stomach a little and I almost smile, because for the most part…I hate comedy and think laughter is overrated…..

The reason I hate comedy is because it’s all fucking contrived, planned, scheduled, corporate…it’s all calculated and rehearsed, and most importantly…it’s not funny, it’s safe, it’s generic….and now the only place to get dirty jokes is from women, who just seem like they are sluts telling horror stories of filling the void in their souls through their vaginas and finding humor in it along the way…

It’s like Amy Schumer and her 1 star due to NETFLiX RATING TROLLS that has led Netflix to eliminate their rating system to make it TROLL proof…because SCHUMER could never come across as an overrated pig with narrow set eyes that should be taken out back and shot, not given movie after movie because she made some lazy exec and some moms on twitter laugh….

I know Legerro is not Amy Schumer, but they are all the same breed of sex joke…but at least Legerro in a world where female comedians are everywhere, bitches are fucking jokers, sleazy fucking jokers, she’s the kind of girl you’d more likely want to fuck….even if she doesn’t stop running her stupid joke mouth…

I have a friend who is really into Female comedians….he has no taste, but is married to a hot chick so we let it slide…like we do with my other friend who has a thing for 400 pound black women…who also has a hot wife…people and their fetishes…you know..

Posted in:Natasha Leggero

2017

20

Mar

Rat Cow Naked on Vacation for Attention of the Day

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People Magazine posted this picture of Em Rat Cow whoring out for attention in what I guess she’d assume is a classy strategic nude…that she knows she has to produce in order to stay relevant because her naked is the only reason she fucking matters…

She can play it off as her art, her dad is an art teacher so she understands the high school level of depth that goes into what she’s doing for attention…because anyone with a fucking brain knows she’s doing it for attention..it gets her paid,, it gets her noticed, it’s her purpose…and art is bullshit across the board, so it’s only natural that RAT COW would be bullshit too..

I am just amazed that this is a story, that actual Tabloid magazines starving for clicks would post about, like it matters…

She’s a girl who goes to a few events because she has a big following, that’s it…she’s in a few movies cuz she fucked David Fincher and Ben Affleck…she’s about as low level as you get and sure she can monetize as brands use her tits to promote nonsense to her audience…and she can deny being a sex worker…and claim her body, her empowerment, her business…don’t follow if you don’t like…or because she blocked me…in an Of course I’ll follow, if you didn’t block me…you post NUDEs and I am a basic human who loves nudes..

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK..

Posted in:Rat Cow|SFW

2017

20

Mar

McKayla Maroney Bikini of the Day

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McKayla Maroney is the Olympic Fucking dream…so if you jerk off to her now that she’s 18 and has got your attention through her slutty self promoting tactics…that work…it is your right…because she belongs to you…the American People…to jerk off to her…

I call it – giving consent through the content you produce and just because it’s not straight up porn, or the intention seems innocent…it’s a bikini and dudes can jerk off to bikinis…whether they belong to America to America or not…

I like to assume all girls know what they are doing when they put out slutty pics, even if they preface it with it “not being slutty”…or claims like “don’t sexualize me”…because if I can spin a story to be sexy as fuck and jerk-off-able…that’s my right to do…and if you don’t put your slutty content for attention out there…then we won’t have an issue…but the world would be a much sadder place..

Sure this isn’t sexual, then what’s with the tits, the make-up and the porn music…I’m onto your marketing campaign…

OLYMPIC DREAMS….

Posted in:McKayla Maroney|SFW

2017

20

Mar

Alleged Fergie Butt Shot of the Day

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This is an alleged Ferige Buttshot…that we can safely assume is not Fergie, but we can pretend for a minute that it is, probably during her meth years, when her lovely lady lumps were more covered in scabs, but still making money through sex work, and sticking bananas in her ass while staying at 1 star hotels…

I mean this is so fucking bootleg….if this is her, I’d be fucking surprised, but since I like nudes of all varieties….from people of all walks of life…thanks to being a voyeur in this exhibitionist world…I’ll take it…but you’d think we live in an era where nudes like this don’t exist…I mean what kind of gutter, badly posed, red eye shit is this…it doens’t give Fergie a woman I once held hands with while wasted, or whoever this is any fucking credit…and I guess the only exciting thing about it is that it’s a butt shot…and totally SFW according to TV standards and practices..

Posted in:Fergie

2017

20

Mar

Cailin Russo Tits of the Day

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Cailin Russo’s dad is some punk rock dude who was barely punk rock – but who did exist is the 90s punk era with his band New Found Glory….her mom is likely one of his groupies, or maybe his high school girlfriend he cheated on after getting the record deal, and whatever their story is…who fucking cares…it’s about their crashing and burning of their DNA in her uterus that created this lovely, aspiring instagram model, who was almost on the hipster route to be a HADID….but capped out at 500,000 followers….

Her biggest performance was a Bieber video, where she kissed him, and the world went nuts on her, or hating her, as Bieber fans do…that was until today..unless these are old pics…where her big performance is her tits – with nipple ring…being all laid back, california and cool…..erotic…but not really…she looks old…

Oh and after looking at her instagram, it turns out she’s working on being a muscical artist also….you know because that’s where you go…for more attention and fame…when topless pics you’ve already one aren’t enough…

DREAMS CAN COME TRUE…

Posted in:Cailin Russo

2017

20

Mar

Nima Benati on the Beach of the Day

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I don’t know anything about Nima Benati – but I do know she’s amazing…and I want to be friends with her…not just because she’s an Italian in Miami doing the Italian in Miami thing and working it for the Italian paparazzi chick who shoots all these euro low levels to sell to the tabloids as if they are “famous in America”…and the tabloids buy into it because of the bikini pics…

She’s apparently a fashion photographer, which makes her even more interesting in her being topless on the beach for the paparazzi and I think I want to write her love songs, sing her love songs, even though I can’t sing and know nothing about music, leading to me interpretive dancing or miming her the love songs…probably while looking like a homeless person after the 3 days hitchhike to Florida…and the fact that I’m doing it outside some fancy restaurant she’s likely eating at with her rich boyfriends…because that’s how this world works…

BUT I can still stare at her tits, she can’t take that away from me…because I got the pics…

Her INSTAGRAM IS HERE …and she’s amazing…

Posted in:Nima Benati

2017

20

Mar

Sara Sampaio’s Fashion Panty Flash of the Day

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Sara Sampaio is a skinny bitch that no one in Portugal has ever heard of, yet she’s pulling the whole “I’m a Portuguese Model”…because anyone who knows Portuguese people, usually try to avoid hanging out or talking to them, except other Portuguese people, or if they are Nelly Furtado…and that’s probably why Victoria’s Secret decided that this Femme Bot would be from Portugal…when clearly she’s made from Adriana Lima DNA to replace LIMA…and it’s working out well for her because she’s famous as fuck.

This is her shoot that I am posting because I like her panty flash….I am a simple mind like that.

Posted in:Sara Sampaio|SFW

2017

20

Mar

Rachel Cook – Instagram Model Topless Shoot of the Day

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Rachel Cook is some low level model – who I don’t think I’ve heard of and who isn’t Rachel Leigh Cook but who I would let cook my dick in her polluted oven until I was good and ready and had all the rich guy in LA herpes that clearly give them magic powers to make more money, fuck more aspiring models and down on their luck bitches, with little to no commitment or responsibility because it’s transactional, the girls are hired hands..

That’s not to say that Rachel Cook is that kind of opportunist, I mean, sure, she is using her actual name to benefit her career on the shoulders of the actual Rachel Cook..but she has the excuse that it’s her name going for her…

It’s to say that all girls who are in pictures, videos, or photos are egos who want to be famous and praised…and they will all do what it takes to make that happen…they think it’s work ethic….I think it’s positioning, laziness, but having a good time as long as you have no soul or you don’t stop to think about it too long…

Posted in:Rachel Cook