DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

10

Aug

Michelle Jenneke is Going to Rio of the Day

I forgot about Michelle Jenneke, I mean hurdling is not really in my day to day thought process – and a girl who had a cute dance in her warm up before doing some hurdles back in 2012 – isn’t quite enough visibility for me to really give a fuck, and even now, when we are knee deep in Rio, I don’t give a fuck, but she’s been posting slutty Australian uniform selfies, and that’s the line of work I’m in…I am a believer in all things slutty – especially when it is topical….even if this athlete isn’t as hot as she looked in that warm up video, she’s still fit as fuck and accomplished which is more than we can say for all the other whores I actually follow on this social media bullshit…

I guess what I’m saying is – this is what puts me in more of they Olympic spirit – when Female Rugby has made the Olympics un-jerk-off-able…

9 days! #Rio2016

A video posted by Michelle Jenneke (@mjenneke93) on Aug 7, 2016 at 5:01pm PDT

Posted in:Michelle Jenneke|SFW

2016

10

Aug

Garbage Can Kylie Jenner Turns 40 of the Day

No Comments »

Kylie Jenner is a puppet for her egotistical, materialistic, shameless, whore of a mother – who is living her dreams through the kids that have been shat out of her massive, very fucking massive, it’s gotta be massive vagina…

The kind of woman who attracts trannies and men who kill their wives – while dating a wallet…who can only instil shitty morals and values in her uneducated, vapid, money making garbage kids – who for some reason is “famous” or an “influencer” which is code for bullshit, because bitch doesn’t do anything but hang around, jack up her face by stapling flesh to it, looking 40, all dumpy and porny, which has created a trend that you’ll see if you leave the house of other 18 year olds looking this dumb as fuck…and the whole thing has no value, substance..but shit can move sneakers and lip liner…

She’s in a bikini, because that’s what whores do, and you can’t really blame her for being born into this, and riding what everyone wishes they had, you can only blame her for not killing herself yet….but it may happen, they can’t be this relevant forever…and dealing with that rejection will destroy her…let’s help destroy her…she’s their golden ticket…we need her and her doughy clown vibe eliminated

happy birthday to me

A video posted by King Kylie (@kyliejenner) on Aug 10, 2016 at 7:00am PDT

Posted in:Kylie Jenner|SFW

2016

10

Aug

Taylor Swift’s Aggressive Cameltoe of the Day

No Comments »

Pussy definition is one of my favorite things…even when it comes on Taylor Swift like all the dudes she’s had sex with and pretended were her boyfriends because it seems less slutty and is great for marketing and selling new albums…because people are morons who believe anything because they want to believe and it distracts them from their own shit lives…not that they are that emotionally invested in this con….

Now I am not a fan of Taylor Swift, but I feel like she did this on purpose because she likes when people look at what may be a very nice looking pussy on a skinny girl, a coinslot, a slit, hungry to be fed, or maybe just easily penetrated due to use…

Either way…looks good to me, probably her best look…I like that shes trying so hard to be a sexual icon…when she’s such a lanky weird virgin acting whore…it’s what fetishes are made of…K-Fed fetishes mainly…but she’s not broken enough to let that happen, she’s a fucking empire, and evil fucking empire..the worst…but good cameltoe girl..much better than my high school lunch lady who taught us what cameltoe was thanks to her 6 kids and very tight jeans…that girl could cameltoe snow pants those pussy lips were so big…and fun to look at eating baked fries and hot boiled chicken….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Taylor Swift

2016

10

Aug

Girls Wake Surfing And Drinking and other Stunts of the Day

No Comments »

So Wakesurfing is a very common activity for these cheesy, slutty, fake tit girls who live around here to do with the one guy who has the boat and who invites all the girls on his boat since girls fucking love boats…and I’ve never been invited to any of these cheesy wakeboard boat parties…but I have seen them blasting music, bad music, having the time of their lives, really taking on summer….surrounded by dumb whores who love dudes who can afford 100,000 dollar wakeboard boats…which happens to be a lot of girls…

It turns out these bitches do stunts…while wakesurfing – including drinking, stripping, being pregnant…weird…

BUT cheesy girls – into cheesy tribal tattoo dudes are actually hot, it’s not their fault they dont know better, they are girls….

Posted in:Videos

2016

10

Aug

Selena Gomez’s Braless Tits Get the X-Ray Nerd Treatment of the Day

No Comments »

Selena Gomez is another one of these Disney Trained whores who is in bed with Taylor Swift, both leveraging each other as BFFs because it makes a good storyline, cashing in and making stupid amounts of money, rumored as the most followed girl on social media in the world, while she’s not milking her lupus like it was her breast implants for the dudes she fucks…

I am not against Selena Gomez, she’s fine in her chipmunk face way, it’s a hustle, manipulative, nothing is real, 100 percent fake and not authentic…it’s just too bad she’s not aggressive in her whoring so that I could jerk off to her..

Instead I’m given weird photoshop jobs – by weird dudes who sit around doing this – drawing on nipples to make it seem like that’s what her tit looks like or something…and that makes me uncomfortable, especially since I know anyone who comes to this site would come to this, or at least sit around doing the work on photoshop to get this, if they weren’t so half retard..

NONE OF THIS MATTERS…I wonder if people realize how far off humanity and living life we actually are…and if they believe their own bullshit they are spewing..for greed…it’s weird…

Here she is at a club in Australia…braless because implants are like a bra…

Posted in:Selena Gomez

2016

10

Aug

Salma Hayek’s Old Mexican Tits Hugging A Sausage of the Day

No Comments »

When I look at these pics of Old Timer…Salma Hayek, who is looking her age, but who still has big tits, because that’s what happens with tits as they get older, they get biggers, sloppier, and ironically enough, less fun to play with…I don’t get excited about Salma Hayek, there are so many younger hotter girls than her, I’m not nostalgic about tits or about Sofia Vergara before she was Sofia Vergara….

I think about the aspiring actor who got cast to play the sausage. What’s going on with his life, where’s he going after this, who does he live with…does he find this fun and awesome…his brush with celebrity…is this why he moved to LA in the first place…or is he a refugee you see on the side of the rode in Statue of Liberty costumes hustling tax returns…

Its about the sausge not the lettuce being used to symbolize tits…

The other thing I think about is how much I hate Seth Rogan and Judd Apatow and their garbage, low hanging fruit that works…comedy…

The worst…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Salma Hayek|SFW

2016

10

Aug

Sophie Marceau Topless in Europe of the Day

No Comments »

French actress Sophie Marceau went for a skinny dip, because bathing suits don’t matter in France, because they understand the importance of nudity, sexuality, good food, wine…because they are creepy, greasy fucks….they also understand the importance of the paparazzi, shit even killed Princess Diana, right, it was the Paparazzi not the Royal Family who didn’t like the future King’s mother being a harlot or anything….not that it matters…what matters is published nudity in tabloids…

I’m just disappointed that there’s no amazing pubic hair spilling out…because pubic hair is my favorite thing about France….but I am sure the French are up to speed on the American Bikini wax and Laser treatment…without realizing how hot bush is…

Posted in:Sophie Marceau

2016

10

Aug

Leven Rambin Parrack See THROUGH Top of the Day

No Comments »

I am going to assume that you don’t know who Leven Rambin Parrack, but then again, I also assume you are a socially awkward, unemployed loser, who has a lot of time looking up girls on TV, or movies, using the IMDB list of relevant actors to find jerk off material…it’s not your fault it’s a fetish..and I could be wrong about you, maybe you’re rich and awesome and get laid and come here to feel better about yourself…so you could know who Leven Rambin Parrack…but I don’t…I am sure I’ve done posts on her before – but can’t be too sure – this is all on repeat…

Well she’s been on TV since she was 13, whored out properly, and the reason you probably know her, being unemployed and weird, is that she was on All My Children, as a child, you liked that…and now she’s in a see through dress…

Posted in:Leven Rambin Parrack|SFW

2016

10

Aug

Mckayla Maroney Big Booty for the Gymnastics of the Day

No Comments »

Mckayla Maroney was the jailbait in Olympic Gymnastics that was white and possibly worth jerking off to – as the pervert you are – with pride for your gold medal team….and she’s missing from Gymnastics this year, which is all 4 foot 8 boxy midgets running the USA dream team of zero angelic or erotic use of that flexibility, and 100 percent little tanks designed to do really ridiculous freak show shit…

So Mckayla Maroney got into her fame and fortune from the last Olympics, decided she pleased her family that forced her into this shit, and could focus on being a social media whore…and fans…that she’s spent 4 years slutting out on…

HERE SHE IS TALKING ABOUT HER ASS IN A POST THAT I BASICALLY WROTE THE SAME THING ABOUT HER DOING STUNTS IN A SKIRT FROM LAST WEEK

In being a social media whore, she’s been doing squats all fucking day, knowing her sex appeal, knowing her fans are pervert dudes and loving it…all while being clueless enough as to what men are actually into – as she turns herself into a Kardashian or Jenner…the cool kids of her generation…

And I’m OK with this ass…it’s so big and awkward and amazing to think she’s been working on this for the last 4 years..while her teammates were working on winning another gold…

She looks like she’s got face filler also…typical…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

HERE SHE IS TALKING ABOUT HER ASS IN A POST THAT I BASICALLY WROTE THE SAME THING ABOUT HER DOING STUNTS IN A SKIRT FROM LAST WEEK

Posted in:McKayla Maroney|SFW

2016

10

Aug

Miranda Kerr in Harper’s Bazaar Looking Wholesome of the Day

No Comments »

Miranda Kerr…looking good…

I like how Miranda Kerr is looking wholesome, like the recently engaged mother of one with another dude, who got fired from her last high profile mall brand job for fucking an 18 year old boy after their big show…because ultimately, she’s a trashy Australian who was marketed hot and thus in the right scene to get rich guys to fund her life – or fall in love with her – as she clearly knows how to fuck…

So celebrating this marriage that probably has a great pre-nup hooking her the fuck up – and what does Snapchat billionaire care, he’s so fucking rich from the shit, whatever…take a few million he won’t notice…

ALl while Orlando Bloom is flashing his cock – and feeling up Katy Perry in some kind of breakdown knowing his kid he doesn’t care about will have a new dad it likes better because it’s not some lame, egotistical actor….

Posted in:Miranda Kerr|SFW