DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

13

Jun

Haley Bennett for Interview Magazine of the Day

Haley Bennett is an actress you’ve never heard of – but she just landed the cover of Interview, so I guess she matters, or has a friend at Interview who believes in her – since she’s not that famous on instagram – with only 15,000 followers, but she’s got 4-5 movies about to come out and I guess this is how it works…

I’m old enough to remember seeing Scarlett Johansson in Ghost World, knowing she was going to make it – and a few years later checking her IMDB, this was probably 2003 or 2004, seeing that she had 4-5 movies lined up, despite no one anywhere, even those who saw Ghost World, would have remembered her, known her, or cared about her…and all of a sudden…viral success…not just the herpes but the A List status..

So apparently, that’s what’s about to happened to Haley Bennett, and I guess that’s not a bad thing because she’s got some tit and we like girls with tit, thanks to hormones in the food and early puberty, because tits are making a comeback and defining a woman’s worth…yay. Like the good old days before women had the right to vote.

Posted in:Haley Bennett|SFW

2016

13

Jun

Maryna Linchuk Belarusian Model Posing Hot of the Day

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Maryna Linchuk reminds us all, as so many models before her – that communism works…

I don’t know what this Maryna Linchuk photoshoot is for…I don’t know where Belarus is, but it brings up an image of concrete, grayness, and poverty or struggle…political graffiti and blown out lives….

I like that when I google Belarus – Byelorussian Soviet Socialist Republic comes up…it just reaffirms how great communism was for creating so many models that are tall, strong, thin, and hot as fuck…it makes me think of this world full of beautiful women, like I am some kind of Christopher Columbus out to discover the free world…all when it was built off not being free…

The nice thing about Maryna Linchuk is that she’s hot and brings hope…the nice thing about war torn Russia is that when you buy a Linchuk of your own off the internet, you can print out pictures to show your new wife when she acts out of line…romance.

Posted in:Maryna Linchuk|SFW

2016

13

Jun

Tove Lo and Others Taking Part in the Braless Movement of the Day

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I love that blogs eagerly post braless celebrity, personality, model, instagram bitches, in their braless pics…

It seems so fucking bro, lame, loser, guy who can’t get laid – to get excted about braless women in an era where many girls don’t wear bras, something that isn’t new and if you were a kid in the 70s and even early 80s like me – you’ll remember – braless women.

It’s really not edgy, innovative, fashion forward or exciting, especially when they woman who is braless has tits on par with a fat man…

Her name is Tove Lo. She sings that popular song..and that’s about it…and here she is BRALESS…if you find this hot, not like a bull dyke at Gay pride she may be, you’re probably gay, but definitely creepy with over excitement when you come across what may be a nipple…

Alexa Chung was also Braless because Bras are out of style, uncomfortable and cause breast cancer…not to mention they are deceiving when stuffed or padded and pushing up, and we’re all going back to natual…and she’s more exciting than Tove Lo’s bralessnes…

And if you’re not into cute girls with hard nipples braless, here’s some old as fuck Vanderpump, which sounds both regal like a royal high scoiety family, but also like gay sex on the downlow in a van….or maybe that’s just because Gay is in the news ,and really it reminds me of any sex in a van, even sex with a street hooker in a van…not in a bra…they call her Lisa Vanderpump….LEATHERFACE…

Posted in:SFW|Tove Lo

2016

13

Jun

Doutzen Kroes for Glamour of the Day

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Get fired from Victoria’s Secret for being a greedy cunt, or whatever they fired her for, and get really fucking fit and hot…that’s the life plan of mom of many mix raced DJ babies – DJ whore and model Doutzen Kroes…

I know what you’re thinking, and that is that Doutzen doesn’t matter, she is insignificant, interchangeable, proven by the brand that fired her – they are still in business, they have replaced her, they haven’t lost sales because of her leaving the company, they probably don’t even remember her bratty and annoying bullshit….meaning she is fucking replaceable….

Not to mention, her touring DJ baby daddy, probably replaces her all the time when on the road, because masturbation for DJs usually involves fucking girls….who like the DJ…and there are lots of them, even Victorias Secret models….

There are countless other models willing to get naked to get ahead…but I still think this DOUTZEN shoot is a rockin’ magical body worth looking at…because it is…

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes|SFW

2016

13

Jun

Edita Vilkeviciute, NAKED ENOUGH for Vogue Germanly of the Day

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I love immigrant models in lingerie for fashion magazines….it’s like Playboy doesn’t even do shit this racy anymore, yet VOGUE GERMANY is posting nipples….but then again germany is pretty intense when it comes to porn, and unless there is bound and gagged in some weird latex suit, being shit on, it’s considered SFW…

This is high concept fashion “Art” that involved three minutes of planning “show her tits”…because EDITA…is grea ttis…

This is not to masturbate to, obviously, you’re so desensitized that masturbation has gone to such a dark place, we don’t need to really think it hasn’t or pretend it hasn’t…

But they are still Eastern European nipples that could have been a sex worker, but that are instead good as a beacon of hope to all the other hot Eastern European girls that their tits can get them ahead…so that I can see their tits as they try to get ahead.

Communism worked. It brought the soulless work ethic we need to see tits.

Posted in:Edita Vilkeviciute

2016

13

Jun

Nadja Bender for Costume Denmark of the Day

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Nadja Bender some model with a great named, because I like benders, so much that I like to make them more a lifestyle than an actual bender, but they’d be a bender to normal people, because they’d either die or end up homeless because managing life on a permanent bender wouldn’t work…unless you were unemployed like me….

I don’t really give a fuck about this bender, but I will say that I love her as much as I love all models and not that’s not very much, but I don’t mind looking at their photoshoots, even if they are cheesy, pretentious or lame, both naked and clothed, because it’s a good way to waste a few hours of your day to remind you that your life sucks because you don’t fuck girls like this, it helps the benders you go on, but remember you know that if you had money you could, because models love people with money and fuck them…

She’s Danish, doesn’t look like her strong headed Danish counterparts, but I’d like to eat her Danish just the same – you know the one that is her asshole…

Posted in:Nadja Bender|SFW

2016

13

Jun

Lara Stone and Freja Beha Erichsen for Vogue Italy of the Day

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Here’s some pretentious, cinematic, artistic, and mosst importantly annoying lesbian fairy nymph silliness for a fashion magazine….

The “top models they used for the shoot are Lara Stone and Freja Beha Erichsen and I guess they are “collaborators”….because they did a lesbian shoot before – a little romance novel with the same photographer Peter Lindberg – for W magazine over 7 months ago…

But maybe, W magazine didn’t want the nipple video, and Vogue Italy was the only one who would take it….

It’s dramatic, it’s silly, but there are nipples, and Lara Stone, despite hating me and trying to sue me, has great tits….

This is from May, I probably already posted it…who knows…but more importatnly…who cares..

Posted in:Freja Beha Erichsen|Lara Stone|SFW

2016

13

Jun

Liv O’Driscoll Hot Model in Glamour Paris of the Day

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Her name is Liv O’Driscoll – this is her INSTAGRAM ..but more importantly, here are some images of her from Glamour Paris…because she’s showing her tits and is hot..

I’ve googled her, I figured out pretty much nothing about her, but when it comes down to it, what would we really discover about her, her family background, her location, her age, her experience, her past shoots, when really we’re looking at her tits and that may be all we need to know…

This is the first time I’ve posted Liv O’Driscoll…so I’d like to say it looks like she’s made it – because I am that relevant – the Simon Cowell of the internet’s model tits…because model tits are more interesting than me than overrated actor gossip…but the reality is – me posting this will do nothing but possibly get me a take down notice from their legal team…which I like to interpret as flirting…it keeps me going and makes me feel that at least one of these fame whores just doing what is coming their way notices I am here…even though they never seem to give me a blowjob for the free press…and they always seem angry – even though I never say anything bad about these whores…I am just into what they are good for…them tits.

Posted in:Liv O'Driscoll

2016

13

Jun

Bambi Northwood-Blyth Titties for Iceland of the Day

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Bambi Northwood-Blyth blocked me on social media A LONG time ago…

I find that hurtful, like she’s never given me a chance, or never taken the time to read the beautiful prose I write about fame whores, social climbing whores, hipster model whores, and really just all the whores combined into one pile of 40,000 posts on whores…whether they are model whores, or actor whores, or just aspiring whores…they are all still whores…

Now this one, BAMBI, is an Australian whore, who coupled up with a guy who was running the biggest, coolest brand out of Australia, because being a whore to a relevant dude, makes you relevant as you whine your way into his photoshoots, and he gives into you, because we’ve all been boyfriends or husbands before and know how annoying women can be…

The fact is that Bambi and I could have been great friends, but like a bully, she just cut me off, so quick to judge these cunts who think you’re bad because you’re so quick to judge…it’s like all these Social Justice Warriors…constantly attacking anyone who disaggrees with them, even though their platform is inclusions…
it’s so fucking backwards…and I guess so is Bambi, at least backwards enough to see her booty…giving herself a wedgie…edgy….jack them leotard in your cooter like it was someone bringing you opportunities…whore..

Posted in:Bambi Northwood-Blyth|SFW

2016

13

Jun

Willa Holland Nude in a Hotel Room of the Day

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Willa Holland is the very celebrated, hot sister on the OC, who got into the industry because she’s fully connected in the industry, with very important family friends but that doesn’t take away from the fact that she’s hot…

Her fans have probably got much weirder since being the babe in one of those Comic Book made in Canada shows, which is pretty convenient or good timing because she’s married or dating a nude photographer named Nate Walton, who produces really solid nude pics of her, and other girls that I’ve probably posted on this site before, despite the fact that he’s blocked me on social media like a little pussy, but I guess he doesn’t want to compromise his scam, or lottery win that is finding an actress who gets paid to finance his life in exchange for good fucking….because actors look for artists and artists look for money to support them when they make their art…

So even if they are just subtle nude pics of her, she’s gotta be conservative, she’s on TV, like this nude pic of her…all artistic and nicely framed in a cool location, like it was made for instagram, her fans of creepy perverts with social awkwardness can can dive right in it…like you – so dive right in it….

Posted in:SFW|Willa Holland