DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

30

May

Charlotte McKinney’s Bikini Selfie of the Day

Charlotte McKinney is such a whore…but she’s shameless and she knows that the stars aligned in making her big tits go viral when the only viral she probably thought she’d ever have was the herpes she got back in College during Spring break, but in the back of her mind, you know she would look at other big tits and think “my tits are just as big, therefore I should be as big”…

I don’t know if she gets paid, I know she’s rich and her dad is some Tax evading Bahamian who finances her life with his “jewelry” business…so she took her trashy rich kid with access to a magical place…we call Los Angeles where big tits get on TV and that’s pretty much all she’s accomplished…but with big tits, puberty was the only thing she needed to master and clearly she tit..

What I am saying is that people, you and me and everyone between LOVE big natural tits…I blame breast feeding…

Posted in:Charlotte McKinney|SFW

2016

30

May

Bella Hadid Working It while Barely Working of the Day

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Sometimes, the bootleg rich kid sister is in some attention seeking pics…that are worth staring at…thanks to her hard nipples…on her fake tits…that I don’t mind looking at…because she’s used her family money for plastic surgery instead of donating it to charity…reminding us of the vapid existence all these self involved pigs have…

Here are some more of the pics…UPDATED – Pics…

Posted in:Bella Hadid|SFW

2016

30

May

Josephine Skriver – Science Experiment for The Edit of the Day

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Josephine Skrive is some whore that was created in a lab…thanks to some narcissistic god complex Marine Biologist dad, all mad scientist and funded by Victoria’s Secret in some country where CLONING is legal…created this creature of greatness in a test-tube…using a surrogate lesbian womb…raising her like she was human and not some freak experiment gone right…

Well, like all experiments…her genetic modification has allowed her to be the model of the year with the most hype – because real humans are so flawed, we need designer humans…

I guess things are good for now, but eventually like an car, parts will start falling off, possibly starting with her vagina, but maybe it’ll just be some weird cancer from fucking with NATURE….but until then…here she is looking good for THE EDIT…

I wish some of the hookers I have been with were more genetically modified, than organic and grown in the dumpster they must have crawled out..but I guess money buys happiness and better women…

Posted in:Josephine Skriver|SFW

2016

30

May

Jennifer Lopez – Bikini Top at a Club Despite Being Old of the Day

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Jennifer Lopez reminds me of a stripper I used to get lap dances from on the weekly….because I am a married man and having a connection with a set of 50 year old tits that had no business being in the strip club – not because she was fat – but because she was old. but that were still in the strip club – giving lap dances like it was still the glory days – because people like me appreciated her hustle…

She reminded us of the good old days, she thought she was still in the good old days, she brought 90s stripper to life, she didn’t make us feel like a creep grabbing her olde tits because she’s been down that road so many times – rather than some 18 year old doing it to live the hip hop life..she felt familiar…not good – pretty soft actually -but familiar…

Like Jennifer Lopez, she was weathered…but reminded us of when our lives were younger and better, so they just kept her coming it, it didn’t harm anyone, and she didn’t realize all the young people laughed at her, because the money still flowed in and guys still grabbed her tits, giving her the illusion she was still what she was…

No one around J.Lo will tell her to shut the fuck up, they all want to make money off her, or do make money off her, so no matter how desperate she is, she’s still J.Lo…with her loyal fans….milking it so hard she’s killin’ it…and not in a good way, as her body slowly kills itself with aging…because she’ old…yet still at clubs in bikinis…it makes no sense – but it happened…

She’s so old…hosting clubs – this is so weird…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jennifer Lopez|SFW

2016

30

May

Alicia Vikander in a Bathing Suit Getting ZIKA in Brazil of the Day

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Alicia Vikander is the new Ex Machina star – Oscar Winner – star – who is now going to be in fucking everything and that’s a good thing because I am tired of that cunt Jennifer Lawrence booking all the jobs – when she’s not that great, she’s totally played out, and there are so many other liars around the world who can pull off the lie…without as much of an ego…because they aren’t Oscar winners who command huge money to be part of a movie – because that increases the budget and makes the producer’s cut that much higher after he raises the money to make the movie…

It’s all a scam…Like a young actor getting ZIKA of FLEEKA…instead of being naked…but she matters, she’s an it girl…I’ll post it like I took this picture myself… She’s the next big thing….with the smallest dancer ass…I love..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Alicia Vikander|SFW

2016

30

May

5 Sexiest Vaporizers for Memorial Day of the Day

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Memorial Day may be best known for getting wasted by the pool or at the BBQ, but it’s 2016 and you’re all a bunch of hippies who listen to rap music and like getting “lit”….I’m on instagram sometimes I see what you’re all about…

So I figured I’d do to 5 “sexiest” vaporizers for VAPORNATION …because I am a hooker trying to make YACHT money…but also because VAPORNATION is the best place for a drunk to get Vaporizers…

I would never say a Vaporizer is sexy, but girls sucking on them like a cock, blowing out smoke like Old Hollywood erotica is… Which is why I let them choose the 5 Sexiest VAPES and describe them because I don’t know shit about shit…I just like getting fucked up however I can….and so do you, but because of your Fibre Myalgia so I just chose the pictures….that’s about my mental capacity today…

1- #ThisThingRips R Series 2 | $49.99

As far as wax pens go, few offer as much bang for your buck as The R Series 2 from #ThisThingRips. The R2 is equipped with a ceramic rod atomizer and features a calibrated low-temperature coil, quality craftsmanship, a stylish green visual chamber, a powerful 650mAh battery, and universal 510 threading. For those times you need to discreetly dab on-the-go, the R Series 2’s discreet pen cap fits over the chamber, disguising the unit as nothing than an ordinary, everyday writing pen. True to GET IT HERE

2- Herbalizer | $599.99

Desktop vaporizers don’t get much better than the Herbalizer. Affectionately dubbed “Herbie” by its creators, the Herbalizer vaporizer is a space-age dual-function unit that features otherworldly styling, functionality and performance. Allowing you to choose between whip-draw or balloon bag vapor delivery methods, the Herbalizer is as versatile as it is beautiful. Its user-friendly interface is highlighted by a clear view LCD display and intuitive controls. Proudly made in the USA, Herbie is a must-own for true vaporizer connoisseurs who seek out the finer things in life. HERE

3- Source Orb XL Flosstradamus | $119.95

Portable dab rigs are taking the industry by storm, and it should come as no surprise that Source Vapes is leading the charge with the Orb XL Flosstradamus portable dab device. Not your average wax pen, the “Floss” is powered by a 40W TC box mod, and is includes revolutionary quartz rod triple coil atomizers that are constructed from pure quartz crystal and grade 1 titanium. The Orb XL Flosstradamus utilizes Source’s famous Orb mouthpiece, and is cross-compatible with many other wax pen accessories from Source. This Edition high-powered portable dab rig is a necessity for all daily dabbers and wax concentrate enthusiasts. GET IT HERE

4- Vapir Prima | $229.99

Vapir is one of the oldest, most trusted names in vaporization. Their latest release, the Prima, is one of the most highly-rated portable vaporizers of 2016, and has quickly become a favorite among many of the top vaporizer reviewers in the industry. Featuring sleek, modern styling, the Prima is equipped with four preset temperature settings, a removable stainless steel vapor channel, as well as a removable/replaceable lithium-ion battery. The Prima vaporizer a rare breed among portables, allowing you to seamlessly transition between dry herbs and wax concentrates without sacrificing performance. GET IT HERE

5- KandyPens Gravity | $129.95

The Gravity is the latest (and dare we say greatest?) wax pen innovation from KandyPens. Featuring a sandblasted black finish that’s as cool as the other side of the pillow, the Gravity vaporizer is equipped with a dual quartz rod titanium coil atomizer and also includes a coilless ceramic dish atomizer – both of which allow the true taste of your dabs to shine through. The Gravity’s battery is adjustable between four preset temperature settings, and is covered under an industry-leading lifetime warranty, which is a testament to KandyPens’ commitment to customer satisfaction. GET IT HERE

Posted in:SFW|Sponsored|VAPE

2016

30

May

Juana Burga Topless For Richard Bernardin of the Day

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Juana Burga is some Peruvian model I’ve never heard of – since everyone is a fucking model…and none of these models really matter…like most women…especailly the new feminist movement…are totally interchangeable…

You see, I’ve fucked some hookers, and there’s really not that much difference in sensation when it’s riding your dick..but maybe I have a numb dick…thanks to obesity..and nerve damage from sitting on park benches all day…

Same thing applies to girls willing to get naked…they are all the same…and beach pics…even when they are from Montreal local celebrity photographer Bernadin…are all the same…but doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look at it…

I guess what I’m saying is unknown model tits…are tits..

Posted in:Juana Burga

2016

30

May

Francia Raisa Stripper Pole Pussy Stretch of the Day

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You may not know who Francia Raisa is, you know maybe you didn’t see Bring It On 47: All or Nothing, or The Cutting Edge 3: Chasing the Dream, since The Cutting Edge 1 and 2 just didn’t inspire you enough to commit to part 3….and maybe you don’t watch the Secret Life of the American Teenager, even though they gave me a shout out, at least I think they did…because I am an egotistical asshole who forgets that JESUS Martinez is a common name…I get the friend requests on FB all the time from mexicans who think they know me…

So Francia Raisa, the star of those hits, does pole dancing and when pole dancing isn’t enough – she does the BUTT SHOT…for instagram…in a “look at me, I’m still here, even though I’m barely here”…kind of way…

FOLLOW HER ON INSTAGRAM:https://www.instagram.com/franciaraisa/

Posted in:Francia Raisa|SFW

2016

30

May

Alexis Ren Gets Topless and Racy of the Day

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Alexis Ren is some whore who you probably know as the girl with a hot body and shitty face who masterfully navigated the social media landscape by finding a male model content producing boyfriend who she could collaborate on and not just through her vagina – but through aspriational, young love, paradise dream content…that I know at least 3-6 girls who have actually followed their lead and found themselves a boyfriend they travel the world with, holding hands in the sands of Thailand or some shit…

She has created a brand of porn without penetration that targets women who have miserable lives dreaming of a life partner they can go on permanent vacation with…

It’s not that amazing, it’s just amazing that she’s not that hot, but I think that helps her cause because it makes her lie more believable and accessible…

Nothing is real..but I think her tits are..

Posted in:Alexis Ren|SFW

2016

30

May

Stella Maxwell in a Magazine of the Day

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Stella Maxwell is some whore who really navigated the industry really fucking well….

She’s signed on as a Victoria’s Secret Angel, which may not mean that the brand is paying her as much as they used to pay their models, but it’s a stamp of approval that makes her instagram model level of talent LEGIT..

I mean what talent is really required to be a model, the ability to stand in front of a camera and not give into the feeling that you look like an asshole, because you look like an asshole, but your ego and narcissism tells you that you’re being celebrated as you pose like an asshole..

She fucked with Barbara Palvin, worked into the VS team through her, then fucked Miley for press and won the fucking troll on the industry…

Here she is being average at best..because that is her best…just don’t tell her that..she won’t believe you…