DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

15

Jan

Penelope Cruz and Ben Stiller Zoolander 2 Ad for Vogue of the Day

Vogue has no merit. No integrity. They are just a fucking ad. One giant ad. Not only do they run the Kardashians and the other instagram models associated with the Kardashians on repeat, but they also run movie ads in the form of editorial photoshoots.

This is worse than clickbait, but it plays on nostalgia, so moron public like it. They feel it at an emotional level, they giggle and laugh at the joke, because they loved that movie, they think “shit, Zoolander is Real”….and as a marketing play, becuase people are idiots, it’s great…

But for Vogue to do this, to compromise content for an ad, just shows you that the magazine is dead.

An old weathered Ben Stiller, is famous, and his old tired joke, is done…and Vogue going along with it for money…because you know that’s what this is all about…is garbage..

Penelope Cruz is in it somewhere also…she’s old now too! Old, played out shit, EVERYWHERE! Thanks Vogue for being so cutting edge.

Posted in:Penelope Cruz|SFW

2016

15

Jan

Bella Thorne’s Fitness of the Day

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Bella Thorne is 40 years old, but she’s managed to convince the world she’s a tween actor, not that anyone cares about Tween actors these days, it’s all about Vine Stars and Instagram sluts….traditional actors are really just an extension of that…because if you don’t have a following, you’re not worth getting paid. If magazines don’t get excited by your 18th birthday because you can now do nudes and they can jerk off to you for a year guilt free..you aren’t shit…and I guess Bella Thorne who has pretty much gone viral from being on some kids show for pervert dads is that she’s now pushing her social media hard…and using things like bikinis and fitness porn for perverts like me to post for perverts like you because we are all perverts….

I just know a body like this…is in no way 18….this is a lie, she’s lied to us, post your real birth certificate, not your doctored like a powerball ticket birth certificate….because this girl is 40.

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2016

15

Jan

Karmen Pedaru in Denim of the Day

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Karmen Pedaru is some Estonian model…I once knew a dude from Estonia, who told me that all the girls in Estonia are hot as fuck, poor as fuck and one step away from either being in the webcam sex trade, or the human trafficking sex trade, or the mail order bride sex trade…the tall ones, like Karmen Pedaru, always escape though…to work a different sex trade, called the fashion sex trade, which is also a billion dollar business of exploited women from the factory floor to the Runway shows, all designed to sell clothes no one needs for too much money, because it has a perceived value and people need to spend their money on something- it might as well be a shirt…

I am not hating on the sex trade, I like sex, I just don’t care about all these trying to get famous tricks, there are too many of them from all over the world and all of them, even the lowest level of hooker, are too good and know it, to fuck with me…

So I focus on what’s important that is that she’s got PED in her name because I’m basic…

: tk

Posted in:Karmen Pedaru|SFW

2016

15

Jan

Taylor Swift is Boring but She Has Legs of the Day

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Taylor Swift is boring, has no sex appeal, but is a huge star and I guess people like her music or buy into her enough to make her exist.

She’s fucked a ton of different dudes and wrote songs about them, making her slut behavior seem more deep rooted and full of love, but I call that shifting the blame onto the men in her life, instead of taking ownership of her boring fucking pussy that guys are like “fine I’ll fuck you”…on to say “fuck you’re as boring in your song, as awkward as your dance, and the only way I came was your long fucking legs and money”…except Calvin Harris, the UK DJ who made 110 million dollars the last two years, partially because he dates Taylor Swift and who has fucked Rita Ora and every groupie slut the last decade who is an 8 or better…making him capable of pulling off some shit…to get off…

Taylor Swift is like a guy who fucks hookers crying that they leave after an hour and writing a love song album on it…only the people believe…and I’ll just stare at her legs…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Taylor Swift

2016

15

Jan

Christina Milian Tries Really Hard of the Day

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Christina Milian is in a cheesy fucking shoot for some magazine, that I assume has a big instagram, like one of those magazines that isn’t a real magazine, but a million people follow them, and people like Christina Milian want to grow their audience, this her last haul before being too old to whore out, even though she’s a rich mom and shouldn’t even be whoring out…she should worry less about her own ego, or how she was probably cheated on by her ex husband with a younger girl, and now she’s got something to prove…and she should take care of her goddamn kid…who I guess is slated to a future of doing the same thing as this trash….

It’s shameless, it’s garbage…but I guess so is Christina Milian.

Posted in:Christina Milian|SFW

2016

15

Jan

Shay Mitchell in a Bikini of the Day

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Shay Mitchell is a clever girl, she got on some nothing show after being recruited from Canada, and that nothing show ended up being a viral show, up on some Making of a Murderer shit, making her an instant star. Dreams do come true for young vapid girls with the sole dream of becoming famous.

In being Canadian, and not as dumb as her objectives in life probably are, she realizes that shows don’t last forever and since this is the only acting work she’s done, it’s time to diversify your investment.

She did it first by building out instagram, then by co-signing onto some book franchise for young adult market…which is hot hot…and in doing all this she takes time out of her lazy, but seemingly busy schedule to post bikini pics to keep that machine going…all while not even being that hot..Weird.

Posted in:SFW|Shay Mitchell

2016

15

Jan

Heather Graham Has Good Botox of the Day

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Heather Graham is 100 years old. This is her face.

It looks exactly like it did when she was in Boogie Nights in what I assume was the 90s, I don’t remember that shit, but I do remember her hot bush and tits in it. It was her big break…that took her average acting skills to the future a future that doesn’t matter to you, since she looks the fucking same.

We call this – Bitch Got Work Done, but we’d still fuck her if she didn’t and was 50 pounds heavier, because she’s Heather Graham and we’re 40 and have been onto her for a long time, while the young kids are on instagram and 10 of you visit blogs still, which is okay with me, since 10 of you have always been the only audience I have..so I’m as irrelevant as always, never losing that crown of irrelevance…

I find it interesting that Heather Graham looks
TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Heather Graham

2016

15

Jan

Hannah Davis’ Fake Tits in a Bikini of the Day

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Hannah Davis…the Sports Illustrated Swim model, who I am sure was a 20,000 dollars a night hooker, because that’s what I’ve been told about Sports Illustrated Swim models….but I don’t judge because everyone has a price…and this one is a published model….so she deserves to get pid…thanks to herprestigious escort agency magazine called Sports Illustrated Swim…..

You know pawned onto rich dudes and athletes forcing her to deal with the stresses of dating rich dudes who give her the good life…and HERPES!!! Don’t worry, everyone has it in her circle so it’s like she doesn’t….in fact if you don’t have it, you’re stock price drops and people like Derek Jeter don’t propose to you or give you babies that set you for life…I mean that dude has fucked some herpes ridden girls…and this is his new piece…SO HOT WOULD LOVE TO EAT THAT OUT….fucking the vile street hooker pussy slut.

She’s got a great body, she still looks good enough for me…which is code for “she has a pussy, even if it is vile street hooker pussy, it’s a win”…..

TO SEE PICS OF HER ON A BIKINI SHOOT CLICK HERE

Posted in:Hannah Ferguson|SFW

2016

15

Jan

Hilary Duff is So Meta of the Day

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Hilary Duff is so meta…that’s hip internet speak for who the fuck knows what..I just assume it’s like Inception, like a picture of Hilary Duff Looking at a Picture of Hilary Duff, posted to her Hilary Duff Instagram, to

“Hey did you see who’s on the cover of @redbookmag this month? ME!!! I look the exact same don’t I?”…Then she posted a WINKY FACE..calling out redbook for fucking her up with photoshoot…She’s so coy…or just a bitch, an unappreciative bitch, who thinks she’s a bigger deal than Redbook…because she’s Hilary Fucking Duff…

HER NIPPLE HAPPENED THE OTHER DAY – IT WAS PRETTY MAJOR NEWS

Here are those redbook pics, I already posted them, but you can’t get enough Hilary Duff, that’s a scientific fact…unless you’re her husband than you run from that crazy bitch as fast as you can and deal with her strictly through child support checks…as you should..

Posted in:Hilary Duff|SFW

2016

15

Jan

Kate Upton’s Fat Ass of the Day

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Piggy….Kate Upton…the fat rich kid model who was marketed as a normal sized rich kid model…before rich kid models were as obvious…and when big tits didn’t make the viewer discriminate against sloppy fat bodies…because the tits in and of themselves were so substantial…at least that’s what I assume happened…even though her tits weren’t even that great, they were sloppy soft and gross looking, but idiots just eat up what is fed to them…and apparently…Kate Upton does too.

Here she is pulling off some “she’s an actor now”…getting in the car in leggings…so she doesn’t need to be fit, since actors get paid more and there’s less pressure for her too look good and the fact that this is working out for her, instead of her being laughed out of offices for the talentless hack she is…is beyond me…

I went to her instagram and saw this picture of her with Whitney Cummings – who I guess they famewhore off each other…together…reminding me that mainstream comedy is so fucking shit…and that I still hate when girls make stupid crass fart jokes…like the camption Kate Upton wrote: “Are we being serious or figuring out who farted?”

Not that I like pandering to this kind of bad joke, but I think it’s safe to say if it smells like CUM it’s Whitney Cummings farting out the air jacked in her ass when she sold her 4th show to hollywood…if it smells like food, it’s Kate Upton…she’s gotta release that pressure build up somehow…fat chick problems.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE LEGGINGS PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW