Irina Shayk is one the Cover of Harper’s Bazaar…I’m not sure if it is the America issue or an obscure market issue, I don’t do all that much research into these things, especially when it comes to Russian hookers, who I am just impressed, but not really, because she’s Russian, and Russians are bright, the fact they have no souls, means emotions don’t get in the way of these things, like strategically finding a way out of the Iron Curtain, to live the American dream with all the McDonalds and Levis she can imagine, all by using any means possible, which in her case was being the beard for what has been rumored to be a gay as fuck soccer star in a homophobic European market…use hot RUssian, she knows better than to talk, her people know about keeping secrets, she’ll be good…especially if we put her in Sports Illustrated to make the story more legit…a task that takes one phone call when you’re a huge soccer star trying to pay off a girl by getting her in a magazine that your team pretty much control…

Now she’s dating an A-List actor, and covering magazines, and she is really fucking hot, so I don’t care, and she’s jumped through the hoops to make this happen, so she’s deserving, I just like knowing that I know the scam she pulled, it makes seeing these pics feel like the ultimate troll I’m in on…but maybe that’s just because I created all this in my crazy mind, like some kind of personality disorder delusion…

That’s probably what it is…I’m crazy…and she’s a supermodel who did it the same way other supermodels do it…with hard work ethic and not fucking A listers…right…that’s gotta be it.