DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2023

07

Jul

Joey King Cleavage of the Day

Joey King, child star, has big tits.

In conclusion, we like tits more than we like grown up child stars, or really any celebs for that matter.

My original tagline for the site was “A place where I get drunk and molest you”, which didn’t go over well with advertisers I was trying to sell perverted campaigns to since drunken stepfathers seem to be associated with rape shit to begin with, so I swapped that out to I’ll make you famous, bitch,….it was a catchphrase and a joke since no one reads the site and I can’t make anything famous….but I didn’t want to accept the site as a celeb blog, that’s for virgin losers and I’m no virgin, I fuck, I swear….plus I hate celebs, hollywood, the entertainment industry and have zero interest in it….making a celeb blog was a fucking joke, a curse…MY PRISON….so the third tagline was going to be “I hate celebs, but like their tits” and well, that’s true to my heart, authentic to my true self, leveling myself up to a higher frequency, with Joey King cleavage…..I don’t care about cuz it’s Joey King, I care about cuz it’s cleavage bro.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

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Posted in:Joey King

2023

07

Jul

Bitches Love Boats of the Day

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Bitches Love Boats it’s a tale probably as old as time, and anyone with a little money knows an investment in a boat means a steady stream of bitches who love boats and who can’t afford boats or are too gutter to find dudes with more expensive boats, but still offering you bitches in boats! Let them use you for your boats, if you’re lucky they are trash who also backyard wrestle,

Posted in:Videos

2023

06

Jul

Try Hard Lawrence of the Day

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Charlotte Lawrence, who I’ve decided to name Try Hard Lawrence, is a child of celebrities, or at least industry people who have made a ton of money within the industry, so much that they were able to turn the wife / her mother into some kind of creepy fucking muppet, because rich producers have muppet fetishes, it’s obvious…

Anyway, instead of trying to do meaningful shit, she’s been flashing her tits on social media, packaging herself as a hipster, fashionista, I don’t know, but basically a fucking rich kid chasing clicks, views, etc….

As a pervert, that works for me. Keep on trying Try Hard, the world may not need her content, or another celebrity child pretending to be interesting, but we can never have too many rich kid being whores when we know they don’t have to be whores cuz they have access to a lot of money….but are doing it from the emptiness in their rich kid souls to have some level of edgy, appeal, interest, experience, vibe….whatever…BRING THE TITS…

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Posted in:charlotte lawrence

2023

06

Jul

Asshole Behind Thong Thursday of the Day

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As much as I hate on thongs, you know for being a predatory underwear that made women feel as though their old, relationship, stained from period, panties were for their granny and not for someone who wanted to be seen as having some level of sex appeal….

I fight for the rights of women, trying to take down these patriarchy and toxic masculine ideals, especially when knowing only gay dudes were like “Bro, your panties are full back, get out of here and comeback with a thong, or you’re never getting this dick”….

IT NEVER HAPPENED…..the social pressure was from other chicks judging them, saying “oh guys won’t like you in those fucking things, you’re so outdated”…shaming them into THONG THONG THONG, it even had a SONG…

But yeah, I still like looking at ass in THONG and not just for the asshole, but that is a bonus.

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Posted in:Asshole Behind Thong

2023

06

Jul

Ashley Graham Still Fat of the Day

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This just in….Ashley Graham is still fat….

This just in….fat ladies everywhere are feeling fierce in their one-pieces because they just saw fat Ashley Graham looking fat in her one-piece…

Long gone are the days of starving yourself before a beach day, or skipping breakfast and lunch before a pool party, so that the stomach looks flat…ALL THAT LAXATIVES the day before trying to clean out the bloat like a typical girl tries to clean out her colon now that they’re all into ass fucking…

So yeah, celebrating being a fat fuck because the world celebrated her being a fat fuck and she made a fucking career out of being a fat fuck and not even as a sideshow act or circus performance, just legitimate, fat fuck existing booking huge brand deals because brands wanted to look like they were into fat fucks, because making shit in fat fuck sizes allowed them to increase sales to a market of fat fucks who never used to be able to buy regular sized human clothing due to being a fat fuck.

The point of the story, her legacy in normalizing fat fuck premature death should get her arrested, like someone pushing for the normalization of opiates, or even like a girl convincing her suicidal boyfriend of killing himself, since that’s precisely what Graham Cracker Eating Monster, CHILL OUT ON THE SMORES, is doing…

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Posted in:Ashley Graham

2023

06

Jul

Titty Drop Thursday of the Day

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Titty Drops are basically a Titty Bounce added to a Titty Flash which in a world obsessed with titties, is great, meaningful, uplifting, perfect content.

You see, we don’t need educational content, since we’re all half retards, we don’t need inspiring content since we are all dead on the inside, we don’t need funny content since comedy is dead and nothing is actually funny anymore, we just need mindless titty content to feed our empty souls because staring at tits, although not very productive, is some of the best times I’ve had in my uneventful life…

I appreciate the TITTY drop machine, I wish I had a Titty Drop Machine for anytime I left the house, but this TITTY Drop machine is in the form of user generated titty drop content and I’m into it..

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Posted in:Titty Drop

2023

06

Jul

Elizabeth Hurley Bikini of the Day

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Liz Hurley brings hope to all you perverts working at the old folks home that one day soon, all these vapid, superficial, 90s models with the big tits, who have used being rich as a method to keep their bodies looking fit, while injecting their faces, so that they maintain some level of curb appeal, despite their insides being old as shit, their brains being pruned and demented as shit…cuz shit STILL rots even when it looks like it doesn’t….

So yeah, it’ll make molesting the residents when working the night shift’s diaper duty a little less twisted of a fetish, since the current old folks, all wrinkly, thin skinned and frail from arthritis and bone density issues is just fucking weird…

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Posted in:Elizabeth Hurley|Elizabeth Hurley

2023

06

Jul

Elizabeth Banks Bikini of the Day

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I would say that the most unfortunate thing about celebrities, since everything about them is pretty unfortunate, despite their bank accounts, or prices they command from idiot sponsors or movie producers, since they’ve gamed the system and figured out how to collect enough retard fans who think they are great to justify that money……

But yeah, the MOST unfortunate thing about celebrities, is when they have wins in the form of commercial successes.

So someone like Liz Banks who was potentially trying to be a hot chick in the movies, you know an annoying egotistical cunt with a dream, willing to risk nothing because she was probably a rich kid, to move to LA and spend her days going to auditions until one hit….would THEORETICALLY no longer exist now that she’s in her mid-40s….her jobs, straight to streamer shit….

YET, she put together Pitch Perfect, make a billion dollars, and now parades around in her bikini like her weak chest isn’t too old for this shit, cuz she thinks she’s fucking amazing, therefore her weak chest too old for a bikini is amazing too, since NO ONE around her tells her she fucking sucks and her bank account and all the interest she gets from producers thanks to that hit tell her she’s amazing…

I like my celebs at rock bottom, crashed and burned….these winners are mocking us…

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Posted in:Elizabeth Banks

2023

06

Jul

Camila Mendes Short Dress of the Day

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A friend of mine sent me over a picture of the Riverdale girls celebrating their final Riverdale episode which was some kind of musical, that gave me Little Shop of Horror or really any other faggy theatre kid performance, and I thought that to be a solid ending to a really erratic show….that was a total fucking confusing identity crisis, not that I ever watched it, but I could tell from the clips….

BUT AT LEAST IT GAVE US ugly BETTY and Hispanic Veronica who’s dad was in the Cartel, but that no one called “RACISM” on, implying that legit rich Spanish speaking families don’t exist…..

The show that started out as some David Lynch inspired murder mystery, all dark and moody….only to end like a bicycle short wearing fisting on TikTok….since there’s not much gayer than Bicycle Shorts, yet this is Gayer than Bicycle Shorts….

My friend who sent it to also wrote this:

I saw this and chuckled and had to share it with you.

It’s like if Freddie Mercury fucked Elton John in full bondage gear on a float during pride parade and the ass baby they made grew up to be the mayor of Christopher St.

Dig the jazz hands, and Chubby Betty’s big pink titties (and gut!)

And yes, there’s another chunk in the front, also in pink who’s tits are even BIGGER

I don’t know what Christopher street is, but it’s likely gay….and here’s the picture in question:

To continue the promotion of the show that discovered Cami Mendes, which also turned her hotter than she was when she started, not sure how that happens, she’s out boozing on a balcony with her legs out…and it’s better than faggy jazz hands bro…

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Posted in:Camila Mendes

2023

06

Jul

Tanline Thursday of the Day

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I don’t know how long this bullshit climate activism has been going on, but for the majority of my life I can remember psycho tree hugging freaks crying about both the cutting down of trees and the fucking Ozone Layer…

Obviously, humans are disgusting and big businesses that create all the products humans consume have a negative impact on the world because they pump all kinds of chemicals into the water, poisoning us in the process, all in the name of capitalism and buying shit we don’t need.

However, it’s hard to take all these idiots seriously, knowing that they are virtue signalling with their rare earth mineral electric vehicle powered by NUCLEAR or OIL BASED electricity, all while they buy their bullshit SKIMS or whatever fast fashion shit from CHINA, only to throw it in a landfill….

It’s also hard to take the idiot experts seriously, when we’ve been told we’d be all underwater from the melting ice caps for the last 30 fucking years….

Then there was the whole OZONE layer non-sense, where you couldn’t break a styrofoam coffee cup at the AA meeting without a cunty bitch in ill-fitting pants screaming “THE OZONE LAYER”….nonsense….

So the whole “SUN CAUSES CANCER” another ATTACK on nature, while pretending the world is going to IMPLODE, so you best hide in your houses and not leave your houses, because the sun isn’t the source of all energy or some shit, it’s actually an evil doer trying to kill you….SO SPRAY THIS TINTED CHEMICAL on you for the same fucking effect….

DUMB…

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Posted in:Tanlines