DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

13

Apr

Kendall Jenner in a Bikini for Coachella of the Day

I don’t know if the highlight of Coachella gossip is that Kendall Jenner had Amber Rose kicked out of a party because Kendall Jenner is a media powerhouse who controls who can and can’t go into parties….

I just know these people are all a bunch of fucking idiot media whores crying for attention, trying to stay relevant, abusing their spoiled brat position, all for something that ultimately doesn’t matter at all…

It’s like who gives a fuck about the Kardashians, or Kendall or even Amber Rose…

They do not matter in the grand scheme of your life, my life, humanity…etc…they just represent all evil..

But at least they are doing it in a bikini….

A video posted by Kendall Jenner (@kendalljenner) on Apr 11, 2015 at 7:47pm PDT

If you’re not into that – here’s Kylie’s ass, that may be ass implants…in a tight dress..

Posted in:Kendall Jenner

2015

13

Apr

Mischa Barton’s Nipslip of the Day

No Comments »

Mischa Barton was not at Coachella, because she’s 35 and over it…

But there was a time when Mischa Barton was Coachella…you know where her everyday life involved her doing Coachella type things, like drugs and laziness, all while dressed like a dirty fucking hippie, but designer, even though she was unshowered and disgusting…a disgusting that she’s been able to carry on with her into her years of irrelevance, that may show glimmer of a comeback, or maybe that’s just me being distracted by her nipple that she’s showing off because she doesn’t give a fuck and it’s just a nipple you virginss…

I guess it gives you Mischa Barton fans something to jerk off to besides her puking scene from under the bed in The Sixth Sense…which is really where she peaked….

She’s a survivor…because there was a point in time she really looked like she was going to die..then she got really fat….and now she’s back…for Coachella, not at Coachella, with nipples…because she’s a human and humans have nipples…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Mischa Barton

2015

13

Apr

Jojo’s Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Jojo Levesque was some Boston based poor white trash forced to live in the ghetto before being sold to the entertaiment industry…where she had one or two hits that I am sure very few people remember..but people may remember thinking of her as Jailbait on some Avril Lavigne kick…before she turned 18, was no longer Jailbait, and thus forgotten because people saw what she was actually….not hot…

She then spent a decade dating black dudes…before slowly making a comeback…a comeback that to date has been uneventful…but that today has become eventful…thanks to a red bikini and a proper pose…

I mean…shit…this is good social media hustle..showing us why the black dudes like her so much…seriously..I’m into this kind of hip hop video vixen instagram life…it’s pretty much what instagram is all about…and I get it..

Posted in:JoJo

2015

13

Apr

Charlotte McKinney for Guess of the Day

No Comments »

Charlotte McKinney is the latest in tits that have gone viral…

She proves that there is a place for Flordia trashy looking girls in the mainstream media…rather than working the counter of a topless Fort Lauderdale donut shop…in hopes of one day getting picked up by Hooters…because it is less degrading and has better retirement packages…

She’s got the face of a 40 year old, despite not being 40, and thanks to Guess loving her…like she was classy Anna Nicole Smith…she’s showing her massive tits to the world…and boom…everyone loves them…

Here she is for guess – because people love tits…

Here are some pics of her for Terry Richardson…

Posted in:Charlotte McKinney

2015

13

Apr

Emily Ratajkowski Possible Nipple of the Day

No Comments »

Apparently you can see Emily Ratjkowski’s nipple in this picture at some Much Music bullshit awards show, because award shows are good for advertisers…and perpetuating this whole bullshit industry…

I can’t see any nipple, which brings on a philosophical question and that is if a nude model turned actress that has rockin’ tits everyone has seen…I’m talking millions and millions of people have seen…thanks to a music video she was in…does her nipple slip make a sound…

The answer is…yes…because as I tell all girls who send me nude pics, fresh spread ass pics are better than the ass pics I was sent last week…I always need new content…

Now, I can’t predict whether Emily Ratajkowski will exist or be relevant in a year…I mean when I first started posting on her she was really a nobody with great tits I made fun of….and slowly became someone I wrote love letters to…because I’m easily won over…I never thought she’d get to this level…and maybe, she’ll be like a Jessica Alba, the hot girl who gets cast whether she can act or not, because the world needs hot girls…

But I can predict that we’ll probably see her awesome body naked again…unless she’s one of those “naked got me here, but naked stays private now that I am here”…and while we all wait for her next strategic play…here is what may or may not be her great tits having a nipple slip and as you know we all love great tits…at least I do..

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski

2015

13

Apr

Julianne Hough Drunk at Coachella Weekend of the Day

No Comments »

As far as I’m concerned, Julianne Hough, is a stripper who walked into the wrong audition and lucked out, but then again, I assume that any professional trained dancer, who plans on doing dance as a career, is going to end up as a stripper, unless she comes from a rich and connected family, or maybe dates a rich and connected guy like Ryan Seacrest…

Here she is drunk at Coachella, too far gone to ever fall into sex work, she’s rich and connected and never going to be like so many professionally trained dancers before her…

So until then, she’s the one who got away…

CLICK HERE

Posted in:Julianne Hough

2015

13

Apr

Lindsay Lohan’s Fitness Continues of the Day

No Comments »

As much as a joke Lindsay Lohan is or has been or has become in her career and/or personal life, I still believe she is a star, with star power, and a presence that lights up a room, and not only in a weird “she’s a fucking crazy person throwing the furniture” at people kind of light up the room, but good old fashioned, she had her soul sold to the entertainment industry by her parents, and is well trained and she has that “it factor”…it’s just been misused…

I am a firm believer that she will end up winning an Academy award in her lifetime, she is Lindsay Lohan, and I am a believer…

But I do find that while she figures shit out, this whole becoming an instagram fitness account the last 2 weeks, is pretty fucking entertaining, maybe even insane…and not just because her fitness pics are horribly shot, I mean hire a fucking photographer you’re Lindsay Lohan….I mean I’d do it for her for free if she still took my calls…this is a ghetto operation for a fucking celebrity.

But I guess what it comes down to is that Lohan is insane….and this is just a new development in that insanity…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2015

13

Apr

Helena Christensen is Topless for Madame Figaro of the Day

No Comments »

At the core of who I am, I am totally against 44 year old women, at least as sexual objects….or as a concept….

I feel like sex appeal ends at 30…so throw them into marriage and kids and all that other horrible shit…

But in practice, the whole recently divorced, just want to slut out with no commitment, because they have been burned, and realize how shitty the “lie” they’ve been told all their lives is…can be hot…

The having kids and a job, means no time to annoy the fuck out of any dude they are dating, because they did all that and it worked out horrible, so now they just want to fuck….

Not to mention their years of experience in a fucking maariage means that they have either explored to keep things exciting, or fantasized to keep things exciting when they masturbating, so they enter an affair with open mind and body…

The unfortunate thing is that open body is sometimes too open, because the ease of entry of most household objects thanks to child birth, but if you get a good one, she does kegels, got her pussy sewed up after the kid, and hasn’t fucked forever thanks to marriage…

Sure they are still in their 40s and their pussies may smell like an old folks home from the stagnant air no matter how many pairs of their daughters Lululemon pants their squeeze into.. and no matter how good they look in them….they are still old as fuck…

But every once in a while, a top model like Helena Christensen, one of the OG Victoria’s Secret model comes along and reminds me that the only 44 year old women I really hate is the one I married….

Here are some pics of her topless for Madame Figaro…

Posted in:Helena Christensen

2015

13

Apr

Hilaria Baldwin’s Pregnant Picture of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t like pregnant women, because I just think about how destroyed their vaginas probably are or soon will be, not to mention that whole freakish baby growing inside her like some parasitic alien, even though the human race depends on it….it still seems so fucking unnatural…

But I do like gold digging sugar babies, with amazing Yoga bodies and flexibility, who landed teaching yoga to Celebrities, who love Yoga because they have everything money can buy, and shit makes them think they are more spiritual or something equally obnoxious in their horribly disgusting lives…

I just figure, if you’re gonna show a motherfucker how flexbible you are, he might as well be some pervert rich guy, who can support your Yoga life of luxury, so that you can do Yoga on your own fucking terms around the world…

So this Hilaria Baldwin and her rockin’ body is fun to look at, even when pregnant with a Baldwin meal ticket….

Posted in:Hilaria Baldwin

2015

13

Apr

Ariana Grande Tongue of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t know why, but every time I see anything Ariana Grande, all I see is some brat who had serious fucking stage parents, that conditioned her into this money making performer, and I guess it worked for the family, because she’s making bank….like she was Selena…a border jumper with a dancing monkey of a baby to bring in the sympathizers as to not get the whole family deported….

Here she is singing Whitney Houston with David Foster….and all I nsee is some brad who has been trained so aggressively by “her people”…because her parents had a fucking dream…

She creeps me the fuck out, but at least she doesn’t wear pants….because when you’ve got a body and don’t wear pants…whether you’re a creepy robot muppet with a bad attitude or not….you’re ok by me…and I am not just saying that because she lets big black cock destroy her vagina…

Posted in:Ariana Grande