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2015

06

Mar

Carmen Electra in a Beach Selfie of the Day

Carmen Electra is old as fuck, and the problem with old as fuck girls with a lot of plastic surgery, who still go out and party like they are fabulous, even though they aren’t, but don’t realize they aren’t, because people around them suck up to them….is that they end up looking like trannies…

Thanks to science and not making babies..she defies gravity…space and time…age….and dignity…by being shameless and still willing to get on the beach, all BOTOXED, because I guess she needs to make money, but more importantly, she needs to be made to feel like she’s still pretty, because that validation is all she’s ever known…and the fact is, I kind of like the real housewife, porn looking old lady still holding on vibe…despite menopause..because despite the weathered vagina, the broken soul under the leathery skin, brings me happiness…

Posted in:Carmen Electra

2015

06

Mar

Elle Macpherson in a Bikini of the Day

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Elle Macpherson is 100 years old..and still looks amazing…

She was one of the original models I jerked off to in Sports Illustrated Swimsuit back in 1988….an era when Australia was hot, Crocodile Dundee was the shit and, people were into Kangaroos and Elle Macpherson was the hottest thing Australia had to offer…

I guess she’s still doing it…because along with marrying really rich dudes, she’s still a fucking model at her core, and she represents something that will never exist again. A model, who is famous for being a model, without all the instagram bullshit that people use to value models today…fascinating..

Posted in:Elle Macpherson

2015

06

Mar

Talula Willis in her Underwear of the Day

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Talula Willis is the hottest of the WIllis sisters…I don’t know if she’s the lesbian one, or just the hipster one. I just know that she’s been an ambassador for the nipple campaign and in being an ambassador for the nipple campaign she’s found clever ways to put her nipple out on social media, which I think is a really notable cause, but more importantly, a good use of time…when you have a trust fund, don’t need a job, or even if you work at the local subway, I will like you better if you commit your free time to finding clever ways to show the world your nipple in pics as creatively as possible, so that they won’t get deleted off Instagram to prove a point to the world, and that point is that I can still jerk off to tits like it was the 80s…when her monster of a mom was just sucking dick to get a head

Posted in:Talula Willis

2015

06

Mar

Shay Mitchell’s Colorful Facial of the Day

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Shay Mitchell is another ethnically ambiguous Canadian rich girl who’s parents put her into acting because I guess they thought she was cute and that it would be a good hobby that could lead to the fame they felt she deserved…

I know someone who went to the same Boarding School as her in Vancouver, and apparently she was a cunt back then, so I can assume that getting cast on a huge show, and having a huge social media following has made hr more down to earth and respectful of the people around her…that’s usually what giving ego spoiled brats more reason to have egos…does to a motherfucker…just look how it worked out for Bieber…

I’ve never met her, I assume she was exported to LA at a young age…because she’s probably still young…and depsite general American beliefs, no, I don’t know Shay Mitchell from Canada…we don’t share an uncle…and despite being the asshole of America, Canada still has 30 million people, I probbaly only know 10 of them…we don’t all share an igloo..

Either way, she posted pics of her face getting jizzed on by some kind of muppet, or Crayola monster…and I figure there’s a fetish in this, because there is a fetish in everything…and you know even the most obscure thing you can think of….a dude has jerked off to it…which makes for a fun game…try to guess something someone hasn’t jerked off to…I’d say a soiled diaper…but I know people into that..so I gotta dig deerper…maybe something like the remnants of road kill on the bumper of a 1950s Ford Pick-Up truck…I mean that’s getting specific…but there’s probably some backwoods freak into that…driving around right now in his truck looking for skunk to run over…it’s the pheromones that get him…..

Posted in:Shay Mitchell

2015

06

Mar

Gigi Hadid, Barbara Palvin, Lottie Moss and Emily DiDonato in a Shitty Campaign of the Day

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This is a cheesy fucking shoot…they got “it girl” Gigi Hadid, who in being an LA Rich kid has managed to brand herself to the world as a relevant model and I guess you can’t hate her for that. I mean modelling is pretty vapid and stupid, but you might as well spend your time getting paid by idiots who keep telling you how hot you are, it’s good for your self esteem and better than just living off the trust fund doing coke…it’s like make your own coke money or some shit…

She’s with Barbara Palvin, who is a Victoria’s Secret model, apparently disgusting in person….but she was the diversion of Bieber fucking Miranda Kerr…Kate Moss’ sister Lottie is also in the mix, I don’t think she’s 18…and the group comes together with Emily DiDonato, who banged Jake Gyllenhaal and who is thus dead to me…

I mean this shoot could have gone anywhere, and all we got was cheesy hipster inspired shorts in one spread eagled shot…what a waste…

Here are the pics..

Posted in:Barbara Palvin|Emily DiDonato|Gigi Hadid|Lottie Moss

2015

06

Mar

Georgia Fowler Nipples for a Bikini Campaign of the Day

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Georgia Fowler is a New Zealand model, who unlike the hobbits that normally run around in New Zealand, is tall and amazing…

She’s been modeling since she was 12 years old….she’s 22…and she’s booked this campaign with what I assume is a bikini company, but can’t be too sure if it is a bikini company, because I am too busy looking at her nipples in said bikini, reminding me of an early 2000s fetish I once had for Micro bikinis from Australia, that were the trashiest, skimpiest, see through when wet that fat old ladies would wear on vacation and submit pics of them wearing…full vagina exposed…amazing right…but not as amazing when it is done in a “classy” way…with actual models…because nipples on the beach, nipples in bikinis, nipples in general are a good times…and we should encourage this kind of behavior from all brands and all women…alike..because they are just nipples…but amazing…

Posted in:Georgia Fowler

2015

06

Mar

Chanel West Coast Has No Nipples While She Models Lingerie of the Day

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Chanel West Coast is one of those Iggy Azalea, Charli XCX, white female rappers with a fat ass who no one really cares about, except maybe for 15 year old suburban girls who hang out at their local mall…only unlike the other two, this one hasn’t quite hit famous yet…but she’s trying and I guess not hard enough..because she’s from LA, those other bitches are imports…she’s been on TV, those other bitches just sucked the right cock…not to say Chanel West Coast hasn’t sucked the right cock…but based on her record sales she hasn’t….

I don’t know all that much about her, maybe she’s super fucking famous, I didn’t really bother googling her and all I’ve said is speculative. But I will say that based on my knowledge of all things…a good place to try to fix the gaping hole in her career is that when she does hot shoots like this…she doesn’t photoshop out her nipple.

Guys like nipples, girls like nipples, everyone has shown their fucking nipples, and those who don’t just can’t be taken seriously or seen as committed to the cause…especially with an ass like this..I mean it’d be so easy to transition over…so should really work on that…unless she was born without nipples, or had them surgically removed like Angelina Jolie…and these nippleless pics are just how her alien tits were designed….in which case…weird…

Posted in:Chanel West Coast

2015

06

Mar

Reese Witherspoon’s Mom Ass in Leggings of the Day

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The only thing I find semi-interesting, and I say semi-interesting because I am being generous in the way I describe my interest in anything Reese Witherspoon, seeing as I don’t give a fuck about any of these people, especially old, chubby, moms married to their really rich agents…after a divorce with some pretty boy, party boy, she got knocked up by on pretty much her first movie…

So the only thing I find semi-interesting about Reese Witherspoon, now that I’ve made it clear that I don’t give a fuck about anything Reese Witherspoon….is that she’s played this morally sound, good southern girl in her public image to get people to like her, meanwhile she was letting dudes cum in her on set of Cruel Intentions, she left said dude for her agent instead of sticking it out with him, and she’s a fucking celebrity which in and of itself is Satan’s work according to the bible…

She lives in a lavish home, has lots of money, and acts in movies to be idolized by people everywhere, who should be idolizing god….according to her church…

I guess the salvation in this all is that she will be going to hell…based on her beliefs…but before she does…you can stare at her mom ass in leggings, butt I have no fucking idea why you’d want to.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Reese Witherspoon

2015

06

Mar

Xenia Deli in Underwear of the Day

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Xenia Deli is a model that consistently reminds me of a roast beef sandwich pussy…for obvious reasons…her name is fucking Deli..which I guess also reminds me of old fat Jewish men with mustard stains on his shirt after a lunch meeting…and what it comes down to, when you look like Xenia, her name doesn’t matter, and even if it was a name she got for having a meaty pussy, I would be still down in eating it, or having it smother me and rock back and forth on my face..dripping off my chin and onto my shirt…because pussy is created equally…and I love all pussy…even the gross ones…not so much the infected ones, but in my old age I’ve realized…a slit, or a mangled fleshy mess…is still a fucking pussy and when it comes to fucking pussy…its all fucking great…

Here she is in Calvins.

Posted in:Xenia Deli

2015

06

Mar

Hipster in a River of the Day

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I call any girl who doesn’t look like an actual model a hipster model. It is interchangeable with Instragram model, but with less followers, because the photoshoots they put together are more on a school project, doing it for practice, pretending it is art kick, than for an actual brand or campaign. It is like the soul purpose of these shoots is for Instagram and Tumblr, and it amazes me how obnoxious people are when peddling these out there with the “Shoot today, shooting today”…it’s like no you aren’t, your friend is taking pics of you for instagram because you have nothing better to do with your time thanks to your fucking trust fund….

The good thing is, a lot of these girls get that the key for their self produced shoots to go anywhere is getting naked or half naked…because it’s edgy and art…right..

I guess what it comes down to is that this is the future, real models and actors don’t matter…motherfucker..it is all about you..

Her name is Heather…you can follow her on INSTAGRAM …I suggest telling her you want to be her manager…or agent…you’ll probably get a blowjob out of it…and we all like blowjobs….especially from aspiring models.

Posted in:Hipster