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2014

02

Sep

Izabel Goulart is the Best Plane Passenger of the DAy

I have travelled, very fucking little in my life, but enough to know that I’ve never been on a plane where the girl sitting next to me looks anything like this, or stretches like this, or is on seats anything like this. I am more of the back of the plane, hit by turbulence, too fat for one seat but too cheap to buy two seats, sitting next to two other pigs in the same situation as me, our fat spilling over onto each other, cramming the people in front and behind us, all while sticking up the plane with our fat person stench…

It’s like this Izabel Goulart shit should be an ad for business class, because it seriously makes me want to save up money I steal from my wife to travel business class, and not just because I hate the prison I’ve built for myself, but because of the small and unlikely chance that I’d end up next to plane porn like this…leading to me mile high clubbing myself until they have to make an emergency landing and I get arrested for being indecent.

Posted in:Izabel Goulart

2014

02

Sep

Rihanna Paddleboarding in a Bikini of the Day

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Rihanna went on a bit of an instagram rampage in her bikini because I guess she didn’t like that other girls were getting all the attention for being naked and hacked, all while nude pics are Rihanna’s wheelhouse, they are her expertise, they are her marketing strategy, I mean that and getting beat the fuck up by her boyfriends….

Shit makes money, so why not show her asshole as she is paddleboarding – to the paparazzi to say “I can be violated of my privacy intentionally too”…

To See The Rest of the Pics of Pics of her on Vacation CLICK HERE and CLICK HERE

Posted in:Rihanna

2014

02

Sep

Anna Kournikova in a Bikini of the Day

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Anna Kournikova posted this labor day white bikini pic to her facebook page that reminded me of why I love Anna Kournikova…

Firstly, she’s known as a tennis player and I have a tennis player fetish. It’s a sport where the girls can be lean and athletic, white and rich, fancy and luxurious…pretty much the opposite of me…all while grunting and sweating in short skirts flashing panties…like little porn sluts, only it’s acceptable because it’s sport…

Secondly, I don’t think she’s made any money off tennis games in the last 10 years, she doesn’t do the circuit, she doesn’t compete, yet she’s so fucking famous from tennis, more people know her, a non tennis player than actual tennis players, and that makes me laugh…She’s scammed the system…because hot girls get everything they want…

Posted in:Anna Kournikova

2014

02

Sep

Eiza Gonzalez Has the Best Shorts Ever of the DAy

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Eiza Gonzalez is some rich an what may be famous Mexican….for what I like to assume is her taco that she’s stuffed into a pair of really ridiculous shorts on her quest for American fame and fortune…you know just another Mexican taking your white people jobs because she’s got the resources to get a work visa and to wait out a job…it’s bound to happen…and while she waits she’ll just linger around paparazzi hot spots…dressed like this…because unlike the Mexicans I know, including my mother, who was short thick and one too many corn toritllas to fit into her spandex she loved to wear when hooking, this Mexican is like the new age Mexican, not necessarily native to Mexico but mixed with actual quality genes from what I assume is Europe and not the Mayan Riviera…

She’s good. Even though I generally just like Mexican women to breast feed me like they were my mom…Tacos in Shorts work too….

To See The Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Eiza González

2014

02

Sep

Jewel in a Bikini of the Day

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I think this Jewel Bikini picture for instagram, that I guess she posted because she’s happy with her what must be 40 year old body, up on some recently divorced girl hustle for male attention like so many divorcees I’ve had sex with – because they are keen on getting as much cock as possible in them – making up for lost time and trying to finally have good sex since marriage doesn’t come with good sex…

I mean they are so desperate and eager, they even end up with me, just to try me out, only to go back to their husbands saying “shit, marriage wasn’t that bad, even though I thought it was the fucking worst, before fucking this guy I met in a bar”….

All this to say, the pic is better when you play this song along with it…

Sure, she’d be more interesting in her bikini if her hollywood career didn’t work out for her when she was living in her car after driving to LA from Alaska…But bikini pics of her 20 years later are good enough…I guess…

Posted in:Jewel

2014

02

Sep

Joanna Krupa in a Bikini of the Day

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Joanna Krupa posted this bikini picture of herself to her instagram, I don’t know if she’s really relevant anymore, or really ever was…

I just think she just pulled some awesome scam that involved booking dancing with the stars, right when her glamour model career was about to dry up and end.You know when she was fed up with all the sex for money she probably had to have in order to live the life of luxury she wanted. I can’t confirm she was a hooker like so many of these wannabe famous chicks before her…and I guess after her…but I can say that from an outsider perspective on her body and her body of work alone, it kind of looks like that’s exactly what she is…

Her show has been cancelled, I assume she’s pushing 40, she’s still enough of a babe though, I guess Eastern Europe has that going for them, money hungry babes, all thanks to communism, not that Krupa knows anything about Eastern Europe Communism. She only fucks with that if it’s an opportunity to exploit for money because she’s from there and born there…but raised in America since she was 2…and pretty far removed from that…but luckily for you, not far removed from wearing bikinis.

To see the rest of the pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Joanna Krupa

2014

02

Sep

Kendall Jenner’s Ice Bucket Challenge of the Day

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What better way to celebrate little Kendall Jenner doing the ALS challenge in a bikini, you know Kendall, the Kardashian who probably has the most going for her in terms of looks, but who I assume has the least going for her in personality, since she’s been on TV and around this life since she was around 4 or 5 years old, which makes for a horrible person until it all falls apart and disappears – leading her desperate and willing to do everything to get another hit…all while developing a substance abuse dependency, since fame is generally a horrible thing that destroys people…

Than to post pics of her sister, the one OJ fathered in her whore mother – showing her tits…after fully rebuilding herself from being the monster she was – to being kind of hot…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kendall Jenner

2014

02

Sep

Emma Stern Nielsen in Lingerie of the Day

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As much as I hate lingerie campaign pictures because I find them fucking boring…every once in a while I get semi impressed…I mean impressed isn’t really the right word…but I am so jaded when it comes to this shit…I’ve been doing it for 30,000 fucking posts…over 10 years…it’s like eventually all the girls, all the photographers, all the brands, all the concepts all blend into one giant pile of irrelevant bullshit that doesn’t matter in the overall picture of the state of the world.

It’s not newsworthy, it doesn’t affect our lives, it’s just some nonsense to help sell some other assholes panties for a lot of money…

But today, this Emma Stern Nielsen, a model I’ve followed on instagram but didn’t know I followed on instagram, in a campaign for some company called Triumph, that hired a Vogue photographer named Ellen Von Unwerth, who is knows for being fucking awesome at taking semi erotic fashion pics, brought a fucking win…

It’s like this Emma Stern Nielsen is the new apple of my eye, object of my desire, sure I’ll forget her in 3 minutes, but right now, all I want to do is suffacte on her face as she rides me like a Mechanical bull…

She’s good.

Posted in:Emma Stern Nielsen

2014

02

Sep

Margot Robbie Picture of the Day

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Margot Robbie is the Australian, a people know for their class and grace, especially when drunk at a bar while backpacking Europe or wherever the fuck they backpack and get drunk, because as Australians, they are almost always drunk, and least when I’ve interracted with them, but that is probably because I am always drunk…

Doesn’t matter, what matters is how she wears her shorts now that she’s found fame, thanks to her nude scene in Wolf of Wall Street… HERE

Short shorts are everywhere, we are used to them, but sometimes, when on a bent over girl, jacked up the right way, they are better than all the other short shorts…I guess not all short shorts jacked up vaginas are created equally….especially when you’ve seen the short shorts I’ve seen jacked up vaginas in the last few days…for some reason they’ve involved a lot of girls who’s thighs rub so hard together, the shorts look more like a skirt…skin everywhere…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Margot Robbie

2014

02

Sep

Kate Moss and Cara Delevingne Together in an Ad of the Day

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Kate Moss is in this campaign with Cara Delevingne, a socialite turned model, who is still a socialite, because she is a rich kid who puts herself at all the right events with the right people. The association with the A-Listers she associates herself with is good for her modeling career, it is was made her an It Girl, it is the reason she makes money and has big pay days, it is a whole “if people in movies want to sit on her face, the general public will”…bullshit that I guess doesn’t offend me – because there are bigger issues in the world besides who the the modeling industry want to pay to promote their brand…like Burberry, in what I like to this is their take on lesbian porn, the classy high end fashion way…

Posted in:Kate Moss