DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

28

Aug

Halle Berry Crotch Shot of the Day

I think it is safe to say that this Halle Berry snatch picture was 10 years ago, pre children, without what looks like a gunt spilling over her upper thigh and most importantly without what looks like ancient weathered webbed fingers….it’s scary…

It’s not the kind of pie I want to eat, but it is the kind of pie that fellow montrealer ate, and now never has to work again in his life, so it’s the kind of pie you should eat.

I don’t care that she’s whiter than black, marketed as accessible black, none of that matters, when short shorts are involved…

In Conclusion, I will always look at vaginas through the crotch of a short, when given the opportunity, because I am an opportunist.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Halle Berry

2014

28

Aug

Emma Stone Has a Stupid Wonky face of the Day

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#454279820 / gettyimages.com

I hate Emma Stone. She’s got some kind of wonky stupid face that doesn’t belong in movies, or even working the checkout at the grocery store. It’s like put this bitch in the back room, she sucks…

But for some reason, everyone cares, and I assume it is because she’s connected or rich. People find her hot and amazing, but those people are clearly misguided and just swept up into the hype that is comic book nerd.

Sites are celebrating her BOB haircut, that allows more focus on flawed face, that thanks to some scam is getting paid alot and cast a lot.

In conclusion, hollywood is a fucking scam and not hot enough girls are treated like hot enough girls…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Emma Stone

2014

28

Aug

Selena Gomez Lesbian Instagram for Attention of the Day

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Everyone is a fucking lebsian these days. Even Selena and Vanessa Hudgnsn. It’s good for business.

I have my own theories, like the hormones in the food, the exposure to porn, the fact that girls mainly masturbate to lesbian porn, the open mindedness and acceptance of the homo lifestyle, the cool factor, the shock value, the marketability, the “we’re so liberal”…bullshit that when I was younger still existed, but was mainly for male attention in night clubs and not for male attention on social media…

In conclusion, Selena Gomez gets the system, plays the system and works the system…but more importantly, if she’s going to imply being so in love with her rival, at least get a little Vanessa Hudgens egg on her face…

Posted in:Selena Gomez

2014

28

Aug

Some Tits in Vogue Italia Because they are Pornographers of the Day

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I would never consider tits porn, but a lot of advertisers in America like to think it is porn, that’s why exhibitionists everywhere are protesting the nipple, or the fact that the nipple is seen as a bad thing…they have charities, women breast feeding, a whole bunch of bullshit..all based on nipple which I like…

But I prefer calling out a fashion magazine for being pornographers, because Larry Flynt got shot and paralyzed for the freedom to post tits…

Here are the models

Stella Tennant, Audrey Marnay, Inès de La Fressange, Saskia de Brauw, Mélanie Thierry, Othilia Simon, Anais Pouliot, Golshifteh Farahani, Mariacarla Boscono, Nine D’Urso, Stella Roversi, Guinevere Van Seenus, Malgosia Bela, Suzanne Lindon, Jean Campbell, Caterina Ravaglia, Marie Piovesan, Ondria Hardin

In conclusion, Vogue Italia is Euro, and in Europe topless is considered wearing a shirt…so who cares…tits are just tits…I can’t come to them, but I can come on them

Posted in:Models

2014

28

Aug

Sara Sampaio in a Bikini for Some Immigrant Bootleg GQ of the Day

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Sara Sampaio is some skinny Portuguese fisherman’s daughter….who somehow got sold off to the fashion industry as the bootleg Adriana Lima, you know the replacement because Adriana Lima is old as fuck…

She’s done Victoria’s Secret, so she’s major enough, but now she’s doing some immigrant bootleg GQ, that’s not the actual GQ, but a licensed version of GQ, based in Mexico…unlike the Mexican Coca Cola, and the Mexican Taco, the Mexican GQ is not better than the regular GQ…

I’ve talked to Portuguese people who have never heard of her, so she’s not a big deal there, but from my experience, the Portuguese are pretty basic sardine eating, soccer watching, simpletons who probably thing it’s still 1954.

In conclusion, being a bikini model, even for a bootleg magaizne is more interesting than being a fisherman.

Posted in:Sara Sampaio

2014

28

Aug

Lizzy Caplan in her Panties for Rolling Stone of the Day

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I don’t know who Lizzy Caplan is, but I know she’s not hot, but still famous enough to get in Rolling Stone, not that that really means anything, but it’s more famous than me, because I’ve never been in Rolling Stone, if anything the only thing I will ever hear from Rolling Stone is a possible takedown notice for posting this pic of this whatever chick…bastards…with their bad panty pics…

In Conclusion, I like seeing girls in their underwear, even when they are girls I don’t care to see in their underwear.

Posted in:Lizzy Caplan

2014

28

Aug

Hipster Bikini Shoot of the Day

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The photographer’s name is < a href="http://instagram.com/alinalakitsch" target="_blank"> Alina Kitsch .

The model is probably not a real model, but a self shot girl looking for instagram pics – and that is amazing…because you don’t have to be a signed model to get in front of the camera, and you don’t have to be a signed model to get naked in front of the camera, and it’s better when you aren’t because you’re more affordable…

In conclusion, I have a hipster instagram model fetish…especially when they are half naked and I can see their hipster bush…which we can’t here, but good enough.

Posted in:Fashion

2014

28

Aug

Lara Bingle Topless Beach of the Day

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Show NSFW Content

Lara Bingle is topless on the beach, because that’s her tits, are all she’s got going for her, so she might as well show them off in a situation where she can, all thanks to being located in Europe.

I don’t even know who or what Lara Bingle is…but I’m still looking, because topless girls on the beach are all worth looking at, and even photographing, because tits are magical…

In conclsion, topless girls on the beach, no matter how jankity, are worth staring at…intensely, until they get uncomfortable…even if they are worthless and that’s a fact.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lara Bingle|NSFW

2014

28

Aug

Megan Fox Shitty First Pitch in Korea of the Day

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When it comes to overrated babes from the 2000s, who are pretty talentless, but embraced by the industry and shoved down our throats as the it girls, or the hot girls, or whatever the fuck they are….I am far more into Jessica Alba…

Maybe it’s because she just raised 70 million dollars for her IPO of her HONEST company, and a figurehead of billion dollar companies gives me boners…I mean if you’re going to deal with a loose pussy with two annoying kids, even in your fantasies, it might as well be worth over 100,000,000 dollars…instead of being worth the royalties the baby daddy still gets from 90210…a role that defined him…and trapped this Megan Fox…

In conclusion, I’ll still watch her throw a pitch at a baseball game, I got nothing else to do.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Megan Fox

2014

28

Aug