DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

01

Jul

Carmen Electra for Galore of the Day

First, I want to say that I am friends with people who are involved with GALORE …they are fucking awesome…they produce great photoshoots of babes…and they have a good attitude about it..and I am a fan of whatever it is they are doing…and support all that they do.. It’s a perfect balance of edgy, interesting, sexy and high quality….these motherfuckers are doing it right…

That said…Carmen Electra…their latest subject…I guess in a feature called “hanging on as hard as I can, at least I still have a hot body, ignore my mangled surgery face, that I am showcasing to anyone willing to look, because even last week I released a music video…I’m desperate, notice me still please….I know I look like a hooker…I know the botox has gone bad…I still have fake tits though…look at my fake tits though…do I still look as desperate when you look at my fake tits”….only they probably didn’t have the room on the page…

I mean the pics are hot…the shoot is hot…Galore did hot work…even Carmen Electra’s body is hot…but the face…that shit is scarier than Dave Navarro cumming inside of it…

VISIT GALORE
VISIT GALORE
VISIT GALORE
VISIT GALORE

Posted in:Carmen Electra|GALORE

2014

01

Jul

Abby Brothers Gets Her Nipple Painted for Steve Shaw of the Day

No Comments »

Abby Brothers is a model that I’ve been following on instagram. You know just another one of those LA girls who I don’t really know why I follow them…but who get bikini work, and do topless work, and do all the hipster magazines that aren’t even real magazines…I just find them hot…even if they are all pretty much the same… I’ve posted her Naked With Hipster Bush For Terry which is probably where I fell in love, you see, I love bush…

And now she’s being shot, in Video by the genius Steve Shaw, who you may know as the guy who founded TREATS MAGAZINE and thus Emily Rat-Cow…who I hope he has 20% of.

I don’t know if this video is good or not, I couldn’t really watch it, I was busy staring at Abby Brother’s bush…the kind of bush I’d still fuck even if me and her were brothers..

I just know TREATS brings it…so I’m sure it’s worth it…

Posted in:Abby Brothers

2014

01

Jul

Selena Gomez Cameltoe of the Day

No Comments »

Selena Gomez went out in public rocking a massive camel toe because I get her labia are mangled thanks to being destroyed by Bieber’s giant penis…

People get so mad when I talk about Bieber having a giant penis. It makes me laugh and that’s why I do it.

It’s not like I’ve seen his Penis, but I’ve heard from at least one hooker who has fucked up, 3 pornstars who have fucked him, and one other random chick who fucked him, that motherfucker’s penis is porn level and dangerous…

Maybe that’s why Lupus Gomez goes back for more…she can’t fill the void, not even when she tries with her pants…

Who knows…who cares…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE and CLICK HERE

Posted in:Selena Gomez

2014

01

Jul

Sarah Hyland in a Bikini Top of the Day

No Comments »

Sarah Hyland creeps me out despite the fact that she has tits…and wears a bikini…and is in her 20s…there’s just something about her that makes me think she’s 15 and I hate 15 year olds…and I can prove it to you because in Canada it is legal to fuck 16 year olds and I don’t…I mean to me there’s no better proof than that….

I just keep thinking she had a stage mom who found some hormone suppressants to get her into a Disney Role that would take her into her 30s playing a teen…the Peter Pan formula…but then she takes Sofia Vergara’s lead and busts out her tits for her fans…and I’m left confused…but not too confused…I can power through this…thanks to tits.

Posted in:Sarah Hyland

2014

01

Jul

Genevieve Morton in Lingerie of the Day

No Comments »

The scam is working! People are finally hiring her for work. Now I don’t know how much they are paying her, or if they are paying her, maybe she’s just doing it for free food, because based on her body, I am going to assume she likes food…a lot…maybe even too much…

Last week SHE HAD HER NIPPLE IN SOME CATALOG

THis week, more lingerie, like how did this happen…it was only 3 weeks ago when people would say “Who the fuck is Genevieve Morton you keep calling fat and useless”…and I’d say…”Some opportunist gold digger who scammed her way into Sports Illustrated because they needed a South African girl because that’s a strong market for them, but who never was able to get a job or relevance like Kate Upton despite all the press they got her, and despite her huge tits”…and then they would say “why do you know this, you’re a fucking loser, you shouldn’t know about useless people and their life stories unless you are fucking them”…and I agree.

Here’s her lingerie shoot…

Posted in:Genevieve Morton

2014

01

Jul

Aymeline Valade Nipples for Vanity Fair France of the Day

No Comments »

I am not going to research this model Aymeline Valade…Her name is ridiculous and I have posted her Tit for Fashion at least once before, which to me means she’s relevant enough, and I guess Vanity Fair France agrees with, as they should…because I am an expert at this stuff…I’ve made a shitty fucking life out of it…and I have the curse of telling people I have a blog, like i”m a 15 year old girl who doesn’t have her driver’s license yet, and has no choice but to blog to entertain herself…only unlike a 15 year old girl…I am not fun to look at myself in the mirror while I masturbate during some teenage self discover…if anything I am scary.

These pics of Aymeline Valade aren’t that great – but nipple carries them for me…and for you.

Posted in:Aymeline Valade

2014

01

Jul

Gwyneth Paltrow Playing Hollywood Legends for Max Factor of the Day

No Comments »

I am going to assume that Gwyneth Paltrow got paid a million dollars or more to do this campaign for Max Factor cosmetics….and I got paid zero to promote it…because the world is not fair, there is an injustice and that’s ok.

If you’re wondering why I am posting it, it’s because I like the arrogance, or how presumptuous it is of Gwyneth to pose as Audrey Hepburn and Brigette Bardot….I mean even if it wasn’t her idea, there is no way that this rich kid who got daddy to hook her up with work, that led to more work is ever going to be a Hollywood Classic, the reality is, if she wasn’t always talking about herself, no one would even remember her or any of her work…

I can’t imagine in 40 years people masturbating to any of her work, in fact I can’t imagine anyone masturbating to any of her work now. I don’t even think Brad Pitt jerks off to memories of fucking her when he hides in the bathroom for some alone time….

THis level of obnoxious entertains me…and it is all about me people.

Posted in:gwyneth paltrow

2014

01

Jul

Vanessa Hudgens Bikini for Instagram of the Day

No Comments »

Vanessa Hudgens posted a bikini pic of her hiking to some beautiful and lovely place where she stripped down and jumped into a swimming hole…in some hipster high on acid pretending they are a hippie despite living in a 2 or more million dollar home staffed by mexican gardeners, cleaning ladies and personal chefs, because that’s what being rich and famous is about, pretending you really grasp life and that you are down to earth because you didn’t fucking shower…and cuz you eat organic fucking granola bars in designer clothes that feel like hand me downs because they were given to you but still are designer clothes. Fuck you.

Anyway, no one seemed to care that this picture happened, and I think she was upset about it, because the paparazzi took pics of her and she kept hiding her face, probably crying from the last week of feeling like no one cares…

Well I care, I encourage bikini pics, like I encourage nudes, but she’s already done those, I’d kind of like her to do it again…you see the ice has been broken…step it up and you will matter.

TO SEE HER HIDING HER FACE IN ALL KINDS OF CRAFTY WAYS BECAUSE I ASSUME SHE EITHER HAS A HERPE OR SHE HAS HAD HER LIPS DONE OR SHE IS FEELING MANGLE-FACED
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Vanessa Hudgens

2014

01

Jul

Lily Allen Too Old for a Panty Flash at Galstonbury of the Day

No Comments »

This reminds me of a song, I think the lyrics go “Into the great wide open”….but I could be wrong…there may not be a song with those lyrics…but rather just the lyrics my not very musical ass hears when I see the great, horrible, frightening abyss that is Lily Allen post child bearing / miscarriage and abortion, pussy in panties….

It’s like we get, you were the fat rich girl no one thought was hot so you stepped up your game and got famous, but when you were famous you were still just the fat rich girl everyone though made fun songs, but still thought was fat.

Never the popstar, despite album sales and success…but after finding a comfortable place in her body, maybe 2 babies and a half too late – she decides to be that poptart she always wanted to be…only this time by mocking it, because even she knows that her twerking on stage is a fucking joke, even if she wishes it was serious….

Either way, put some damn pants on.

#451326824 / gettyimages.com

#451326826 / gettyimages.com

#451325554 / gettyimages.com

#451325230 / gettyimages.com

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lily Allen

2014

01

Jul

Gisele Bundchen Dominatrix for Balenciaga of the Day

No Comments »

Gisele Bundchen is the new face…or the new “man face”…because if you’re an asshole like me, who sees male features in a woman rumored to have been born with a penis and fired from Victoria’s Secret for having a penis, which ties in nicely to her gay jock loving anal because it reminds him of locker-room initiation….

Now I’m not saying Gisele is a dude, or Tom Brady is a homo…I am just saying it like that to an outsider and it is not even a big deal, everyone’s fucking gay now, and I Gisele’s body is banging, the kind of tranny even the straightest dude would fuck, so who cares…

Here are her high fashion Balenciaga ads, because there is life after Victoria’s Secret, and she reminds me of a mid century german dominatrix, not really my thing, but kind of erotic without seeing her half naked, naked or stroking her dick.

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen