DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

15

Jan

Ireland Baldwin at the SI Swim Event of the Day

Ireland Baldwin has messaged me before…her and her dad lost their shit on me and blocked me for being such a good guy…you know the misunderstood hero in this story that is life…and that rejection is probably why I bother looking at her instagram because I prefer girls who hate me. I find it more appealing, but also I don’t have to question what is wrong with them on a psychological level in that they would let me up in them…

That said, she’s now an IMG model because she’s 6 foot 5 and big and I guess either in this years SI Swimsuit cuz she matters enough to have her team of agents push her onto magazines catering to a younger audience…because their existing audience is dying and don’t use computers…and I guess part of that becoming a model amongst other titty models involves showing off your tits as hard as you can.

TO SEE ALL THE PICS OF THE MODELS FROM THE SI EVENT CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ireland Baldwin

2014

15

Jan

Christie Brinkley is Still Amazing of the Day

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Christie Brinkley, even at 100 fucking years old, is amazing and may or may not be hot enough for me to jerk off to, even if I really tried, because I don’t like old used up women, but who I can still use to remind me of the the titties that once were jerked off to by me, because she’s still got it going on…and by it, I don’t mean her period, she’s too old for that…which I guess is a selling point if she wasn’t Christie Brinkley, because getting her pregnant, a curse to so many on so many levels with so many women, isn’t a curse with this one, because it would be a K-Fed situation…a K-Fed situation now made impossible…cuz she’s 100 fucking years old…but at least she still looks good at the SI 50 Year Anniversary of Swimsuit event I wasn’t invited to but where Chrissy Teigen was invited…because she’s the biggest scam around..

TO SEE ALL THE PICS OF THE MODELS FROM THE SI EVENT CLICK HERE

Posted in:Christie Brinkley

2014

15

Jan

Awesome Drunk Dude of the Day

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As a drunk person, who likes being drunk, who needs to be drunk, and who relies on being drunk to get through all aspects of life, even the most menial…because drunk just makes things more tolerable, from the inner demons and repressed memories in our soul, to the annoying, tedious conversations you have with the people you come across and who you can’t help but hate…I am a fan of videos of drunk people, even if they are also high people, who may or may not have given up on life, but who are giving themselves face plants because it’s pretty fucking funny..

Posted in:Videos

2014

15

Jan

Kate Upton’s V-Magazine Shoot of the Day

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Fatty Kate Upton has been photoshopped aggressively from a fashion magazine that decided to either shit on fashion by using a fat model who has a lot of hype, trying to be controversial like it was a Benneton ad in the 80s, or some other high concept idea that fashion will put together to make some kind of useless yet glamorous social commentary…or maybe they are just trying to garner buzz, get attention because people, mainly white trash dudes love Kate Upton…or maybe they have a quota of fat chicks they need to use in the magazine to be deemed appropriate for young girls to read in this era of hating skinny girls, and turning our backs on skinny girls while encouraging fat girls because obesity fuels fast food industry, junk food industry, health care industry while keeping people lazy as fuck and unable to bother fighting what the government imposes on them…but maybe I’m taking these a bit too seriously…and should just stare at her tits…

Posted in:Kate Upton

2014

15

Jan

Miley Cyrus Sucking a Popsicle of the Day

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Everyone is probably over the “scandal” or controversy that came with Miley Cyrus while you came to her jacked up in her vagina leotard…and/or nipples…including Miley, who is just posting very wholesome pics of her enjoying a popsicle as young girls do…and there’s nothing suggestive or provocative implied with the way she wraps her lips around that chocolate looking phallus…nothing at all…

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2014

15

Jan

Rihanna Bikini Top from Brazil of the Day

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OMG! Rihanna posted bikini pics.

I feel ridiculous posting this shit like it is news, important, hot, or even relevant…the pics are from her instagram, they are boring, and the retired hooker turned popstar in them, has countless sluttier pics of herself, because craving and crying for that male attention is kinda what her crazy ex-hooker ass is into…

I mean, I wonder what her Barbados sugar plantation slaves would think of all she’s done with their emancipation efforts back when they abolished slavery…They’d probably super stoked that one of their own could blossom into being a bigger spoiled brad with no respect than the plantation owner’s sociopathic daughter…

The more I see her doing her thing, the more I think she’s one of the worst humans around…especially when everyone I know who knows her, or who have worked for her, or who have booked her, can’t stand anything about her….and the amount of people who know her, is surprisingly alot when you spend time in barbados…where everyone hates her…cuz “they just jealous”…or maybe cuz “she’s just a cunt”….

Posted in:Rihanna

2014

15

Jan

Emily Didonato and Samantha Gradoville for Just Cavalli of the Day

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I don’t know if these are pics of Emily Didonato or Samantha Gradoville or both..I just know that they are modelling some bikinis and that people come here to see pics of models in bikinis…so I am just giving you what you fucking want…I am accommodating like that…

I do know that Emily Didonato is one of Jake Gyllenhaal’s beard, the one who came before Alyssa Miller, and that she may or may not have a penis, or at least stories of sticking penis like things inside Jake while watching Heath Ledger movies…when she wasn’t SHOWING NIPPLES FOR FASHION

I also know Samantha Gradoville has been NAKED FOR FASHION TOO ….

Making these pics of them…pretty fucking disappointing considering what they are willing to do…this is like fingering a girl who was into getting fucked up the ass and given a facial…only worse.

Posted in:Emily DiDonato|Samantha Gradoville

2014

15

Jan

Rita Ora By the Pool of the Day

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Rita Ora is some trash being packaged as the next Rihanna…at least she was for a minute and I am the only one who keeps on bringing that up because I haven’t got to know the “talent” behind Rita Ora…or taken the time to research what Rita Ora has been up to, because ultimately, I don’t give a fuck, and even if she was Rihanna, I couldn’t really be bothered…and I guess either could she, because she’s living in LA, and this is what she did Monday during the day, because being an aspiring singer with a record deal, doesn’t mean you actually work…other people do that for you while you tan your fat ass…in your bikini for instagram…and really..as long as there is a bikini involved…that’s working hard enough by my standards..I mean I don’t even bother putting on pants…too much effort.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Rita Ora

2014

15

Jan

Home Depot Person Catches a Baby of the Day

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Here’s an everyday super hero, you know just some blue collar working in retail, and not even good retail, shitty hardware retail, helping assholes like you find the plungers to unclog your bourgeoisie life for 9 dollars an hour…adding more than just greeting you, giving you the daily flyer, or refusing to accept the used toilet seat you are trying to return cuz it couldn’t support your fat wife’s ass…but rather catching babies…even though babies are the worst, sent from hell to ruin your life…in a let it fall if it is your own, but save it if it is someone else’s kind of inspirational story…making me wonder if he got fired because touching babies is against store policy…

Posted in:Videos

2014

15

Jan

Irina Shayk in Video for Beach Bunny of the Day

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Despite all her plastic surgery, I think that Irina Shayk is probably the hottest model to scam her way out of Russia and into the public eye, using whatever means she had in front of her, whether it was a pro soccer playing boyfriend….who was probably gay and she used her Russian spy skills they teach you in elementary school to figure out how to extort him…and I respect that hustle, cuz girls in America can’t even get as far as this one has,meaning she’s better than they are….

That said, you always see these girls in pictures, photoshopped to shit, so video, a lot more complicated to fix, is a bit more representative of the heat she’s packing and that’s why I am posting this shitty promo video.

Posted in:Irina Shayk