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2013

24

Oct

Miley and Her New Boyfriend Turnt Up of the Day

In the wise words of Miley Cyrus…

So it’s true. If you turn the lights off and look into a mirror and say #turndown4WHAT 3 times fast shit gets TURNT.

It is poetry from a retard who listen to too much LA hip hop radio…that confuses me because I am not a 15 year old medicated retard at the mall, but also because it’s set to this picture of her and her boyfriend…I mean is this a love letter…is this romance…if I was the bearded dude…I’d be loving every second of this ridiculousness…texting my homies being like “I’m fucking Miley Cyrus, Hilarious Right”…and we’d all laugh and laugh…because 3 times fast shit gets turnt.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|SFW

2013

24

Oct

Rihanna’s in a Bikini Again and I Like It of the Day

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Rihanna has proven yet again that she doesn’t need magazines to take bikini pics of her, she can just do that shit on her own, and even keep it interesting by getting into twerk stance…because really in this day and age…twerk stance is all we really need to keep life worth living and bikini pics worth looking at and in Rihanna’s defence, she’s a black chick from the islands, she’s not jumping on any trend, her fucking granny twerks, I mean not now that she’s dead, but pre-death she twerked…and her granny’s granny twerked…this is just a cultural experience yo….a half naked cultural experience on instagram.

Posted in:Rihanna|SFW

2013

24

Oct

Salma Hayek Thong Ass of the Day

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Salma Hayek was on set yesterday and everyone got excited because her old mexican tit was hanging out of her shirt…all big and round like you’d expect from a Mexican who only exists because of her big old tit…but the real excitement happened when her skirt got blown up by divine intervention, up on some Final Destination shit, like winning the lottery or not getting on a plane that ends up crashing, or avoiding a getting run over or having a drug overdose by staying in the night your friend hooks up bad pills…only better, because you don’t die looking at her ass as it’s exposed to you by the heavens….or maybe you do…all I know is it’s good.

To See The Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2013

24

Oct

Sallie Axl and her Classy 2014 Calendar Photoshoot of the Day

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Show NSFW Content

Sallie Axl is some gutter Glamour Model shit….but in her defence so are all Glamour models…because the whole basis of a Glamour Model is to find them big titty girls when they are inexpensive, sign them into a contract, and recruit them into your magazine, where they show off their tits for very little money, but fame…fame that they can leverage to find good rich husbands…it is the dream most strippers I know have…that one day they will be saved by some knight in shining American Express Black card…only with this Glamour model hustle…there’s more hope of that happening, because idiot rich dudes think it is status to date some bitch who has been published, or who has her own calendar, because it is seemingly more high profile than some girl with a yeast infection from rubbing up against a dirty stripper pole…

Posted in:NSFW|Sallie Axl

2013

24

Oct

Amber Heard for Harper’s Bazaar Russia of the Day

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My favorite thing about Amber Heard is that she destroyed the Johnny Depp household, leaving kids fatherless while he’s run off to gallivant around the world to fuck this bi-sexual bitch while leaving them at home in France to tend to the farm they live on…listening to their cheese and wine eating mother complaining about her day in and day out because she is the other woman and girls fucking hate the other woman….but I like her, especially in Russian magazines, even if these pictures are old and Russia is 10 steps behind America, as they were in the 80s, at least when it came to fast food and Levis jeans, because she’s posing all hot, but more importantly because she gives hope to married men that one day we’ll have the temptation from a young harlot that will inspire us to leave our miserable existence/wife for the erratic young girl who will chew us up and spit us out in a matter of weeks or month, turning our entire life upside down, leaving us alone, broken and a shell of who we once were…those girls are the best kind…they keep us on our feet.

Posted in:Amber Heard

2013

24

Oct

Cindy Berthelot for Some Underwear Collection I Want To Lick of the Day

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I don’t know who Cindy Berthelot is because the internet doesn’t really want me to know who she is…but I do know GOOGLE IMAGES HAS HER TITTIES …and knowing what her titties looks like is substantially more interesting and relevant and important that knowing anything else about her…it’s even more important than these catalog lingerie pics she’s taking for some underwear company that I’d like to lick and lick and lick until the acidity in my saliva melted the shit off her…even if it took weeks to accomplish…I’m just committed to random girls posing in their underwear like that…she’s a babe…I should find her on twitter and ask her on a date…I’m sure it will turn into a long winded romance than ends in a double marriage like all my tweets to girls I want to be smothered by….

Posted in:Cindy Berthelot

2013

24

Oct

Doutzen Kroes Forgot her Victoria’s Secret Bra of the Day

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You’d think that being a Victoria’s Secret model, you’d have all the push up bras needed to make your tits look like implants, but yet mom and babe Doutzen Kroes threw that option out that window and said to herself “I’m gonna let my mom tits sag” but in some random imported accent…and I guess in protest to the brand that made her and paid her a lot of money…like a teenage girl trying to piss off her dad by fucking a black dude…only worse because I hate when the truth in titties is thrown down my throat…like when you bring a girl home with you only for the padded underwire shit to reveal her A-Cups…and not even because I hate small tits, in fact I love small tits, but I just don’t like a girl who blatantly lies…it’s like what else are you lying about….we’ll discuss after the roofies wear off…seeing as that’s the only way any of us get girls in push up bras home with us…

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes

2013

24

Oct

Jaime Pressly Weirdo See Thru of the Day

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I prefer Jaime Pressly when she’s PEEING OUTSIDE OF RESTAURANTS

Not that I even remember who Jaime Pressly is, but I do know she’s slowly morphing into a dude, despite the cleavage, that face is harder that it used to be and I think I see an Adam’s Apple…I guess it’s from hard living…the kind of hard living that leads you to PEEING OUTSIDE OF RESTAURANTS

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jaime Pressly

2013

24

Oct

Nicole Scherzinger’s Got Some Fake Tits of the Day

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I know what you’re thinking…of course she has fake tits…she was born with a dick…

At least that’s what I’ve been thinking on this Nicole Sherzinger since I first heard about Nicole Scherzinger and I have no idea why, maybe I’m racist and don’t understand her color scheme, because by the looks of her, she’s pretty fucking banging, except maybe that face, but you don’t really fuck a face, and when you do it is usually covered in tears so that you don’t see the features that may remind you of your prison roommate…

It’s like, shit, she’s built well…but this may all be a custom job…but that doesn’t matter, I’m all for self improvement, even if you pay for it, cuz nothing in life is free yo….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Nicole Scherzinger

2013

24

Oct

Ripped 64 Year Old of the Day

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Here you go fat people…mainly fat chicks who blame their metabolism or medication or being a mom for their horrible bodies…instead of blaming giving the fuck up…because giving the fuck up or at least admitting you gave the fuck off isn’t as good as pretending your body is beyond your control…cuz this dude is fucking old and ripped and even if he’s on testosterone…he fucking kills it…and I think it should inspire all you fat fucks to stop eating those donuts and to do a few sit-ups…myself included…but these donuts are so good…I’ll just let this psycho freak of nature prove us all wrong while I slowly eat my feelings and hate myself into diabetic shock….

I’d say I want to see the 64 year old women version of this…but no matter what you do…64 year old vagina is still like sheets on the clothes line blowing in the wind on a brisk fall day…so we’ll stick to homie…

If you don’t like that – here’s some Russian Fight Club

Posted in:Videos