DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

28

Jun

Hayden Panettiere Comparing Fake Tits with a Statue of the Day

You will all be able to relate to this…you know since some of the best sex you have had…and some of the hottest tits you have played with have been attached to inanimate objects..like that mannequin you found in the back alley and turned into your girlfriend for a few years before you broke her trying to drill her a new asshole…

For those of you less lonely and sad, you’ve all been in stores, or next to statues, and done something semi-perverted for a cheap laugh…

For some reason when Hayden Panettiere does it it is far less obvious and annoying…if anything it is kinda hot…but not because Hayden Panettiere is hot, but because I know she’s only doing it to compare her fake tits, with those fake tits, and whenever chicks compare tits, I get excited…

To See Outtakes from her 2009 GQ Shoot CLICK HERE

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere

2013

28

Jun

Crazy Bitch is my Dream Girl of the Day

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I don’t know the story behind this video, but I know it is amazing.

Part of me assumes it may be staged…but then I realize she’s a chick, and well chicks are fucking nuts, especially when you have sex with them.

From what I see, the dude rejects a woman, she comes back to have the last word, he calls her son a mutant, she attacks him, and he throws her in the pool…before she starts dismantling the fence, throwing a fucking tantrum, and another dude comes and throws her in the pool.

She gets arrested, then dude starts yelling at the cops about not doing their job, cuz he’s an idiot, and if you wanted that overview, you could have just watched the fucking video.

What it comes down to is that girls are insane, any straight dude knows that, and I actually appreciate her passion….

Posted in:Videos

2013

28

Jun

Naya Rivera in a Bikini of the Day

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I thought the whole basis of Glee was where the freaks got together and sang while the cool good looking people were out being cool and good looking…You know a way for losers to congregate and be social and fantasize about a celebrity that in real life would never happen, because ugly people, except maybe Lady Gaga, just don’t get famous. It is against the rules. No matter how good they sing and dance and turn pop songs into homo friendly Broadway show tunes, they are forced to work in community theater at night, after working their shitty menial job, and dreaming of what could have been if they were born someone else, while petting one of their many cats, before deciding to take destiny by the balls, and make a viral video that goes viral, forcing the evil entertainment industry to attach themselves to you, after slamming the door in your face so many times, because the public wants you now, and they figure they want to make money off you…That is the world we live in.

Not that I’ve ever seen Glee, or this Naya Rivera chcik, who is sexing things up with a tiny fit body and some fake lips to make her look sultry. I guess breaking free from that evil empire that is GLEE, where I assume she plays the hot chick, to do give boners with her weird belly button and youthful body to single men who have never seen the show. I appreciate that.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Naya Rivera

2013

28

Jun

Holly Peers is Today’s Page 3 Girl of the Day

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Holly Peers is today’s Newspaper tits that make the news far easier to jerk off to, unless you’re weird and find Nelson Mandela dying, Gay Marriage Laws being Passed, Football players going to jain and all the other fun stuff worth jerking off to…but I prefer stripper tits.

Posted in:Holly Peers|NSFW

2013

28

Jun

Paulina Gretzky is Still in a Bikini of the Day

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So apparently Paulina Gretzky let’s some pro Golfer named Dustin Johnson put inside her hole…but more importantly she is at the most expensive and luxurious hotel in Barbados, because being born into money leads to a great life filled with opportunity, even though you don’t realize it because you’ve been fully absorbed in it all your life, and haven’t figured out how the other 90 percent don’t have private chefs, maids or fly private…

But none of that matters, she’s in a bikini and has my favorite kind of body, skinny and lean, long and lovely, and the fact she used her allowance that is probably an absurd allowance on fake tits, makes her fucking perfect.

I am a fan. I’d like her to cannon ball onto my dick.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Paulina Gretzky

2013

28

Jun

Briley Hale is a New Model and She’s Modeling of the Day

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Briley Hale is not a very major model, but she’s pretty fucking lovely to look at.

She’s signed to Wilhelmina Denver, which in the event you don’t know, is not a major agency, despite Denver being the fashion center of the fucking world….

So these pictures of her in her bathing suit, should really be her in New York working for free for some trendy photographer’s personal collection, because that’s how trendy photographers get laid, it’s not the fact that they make millions on the corporate jobs, but rather the eagerness of young hot girls with a dream.

I guess this Colorado chick, is just a little more Christian than that, at least for now…but I predict, as I do with all models, and that I am right about with all models, making it hardly a prediction and more a waiting out the inevitable, that we will see this girl’s nipples soon enough…and in the mean time here she is wet…

Posted in:Briley Hale

2013

28

Jun

Mariah Carey’s Being Patriotic of Macy’s

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I would like someone to photoshop a dick in where the MIC is….because her facial expression is one I like pretending she’s making before taking a load on her face from some record exec who was in his 60s and owned Sony music who she married back when talent wasn’t enough to get famous.

I’m not interested in any of that Nick Cannon shit, so make the dick white and Jewish, like she pretended to like when she was coming up…

And while you do that, I’ll watch this video of her Popped Dress Almost Gives Me Boners…of the Day

To see more of her being patriotic for Macy’s CLICK HERE

Posted in:Mariah Carey

2013

28

Jun

Barbara Palvin’s Victoria’s Secret 2013 Work of the Day

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Barbara Palvin isn’t all that hot, I mean she’s 19 and half naked, what 19 an half naked chick do you know wouldn’t be worthy of jerking off to, especially if you’ve committed your life to one woman who is pushing 50 and all you’ve seen is the neglect that she’s had for herself all these years…cellulite ridden and loose stomached…blaming you for it and guilting you for it…cuz she had your kids for you and now you owe her….even though you know if it wasn’t you, it’d be some other asshole, and you wish it was, so you could be free to spend your 60,000 dollars a year seducing 19 year olds who are happy getting a free Subway sandwich on a date, rather than the 21 year olds who know how to take a dude for a ride….

The only moment of peace you have is when you get to stare at your daughter’s friends in their bikinis…

Now I may be confused how this Palvin went from Hungarian to top model, when normally there are a few human trafficking stops in between, but I’ll post her Victoria’s Secret 2013 work anyway, cuz she’s half naked and 19 and that’s good enough for me.

Posted in:Barbara Palvin

2013

28

Jun

Candice Swanepoel Misused by Blumarine of the Day

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Here’s a genius idea that I call milking a woman’s celebrity in efforts to promote your brad…but not realizing that the basis of her celebrity is her awesome half naked body…and not her face…

I mean this is like getting a hooker to give you a back massage because you are lonely, or a stripper to have a conversation with you in her clothes, it just doesn’t make sense.

If you pay the bitch, who knows her body rocks, you make sure she does her fucking job…

It’s jobs like these that give a model an ego, and make them think they have a chance doing things half naked…

It’s that beacon of hope that ruins them…so this company is doing more harm than good.

Bring back a half naked Candice..

That’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

28

Jun

Some 1977 Centerfolds of the Day

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If you read the site, you will know a few things. The first is that I am an advocate for BUSH. It is actually a cause I hold dear to my heard and I feel the need to lobby the government as if it was OIL or Tobacco laws, because the death of bush has been one of the catalysts to the fall of society..

I’m the kind of guy who feels like the hormones in the food, the obesity crisis, and even global warming could all be curved if girls just stopped being like Kim Kardashian and hitting the waxing or laser shops, places I am going to target in my protest.

I like the eroticism of the 70s. Girls were less trashy, tits were more real, and one thing I love, is the public hair that was there to tickle my fucking throat….

So why not look at 1977 naked chicks to start the day….shit works for me.

Partially because these babes are probably all dead, or almost dead, making them all the hotter…cuz their nudes are timeless, they live on forever…