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2013

24

May

Behati Prinsloo Lives Dangerously with White Underwear Jacked Up Her Ass of the Day

That’ll leave a mark, at least if it was me in such tight underwear jacked up my ass it would leave a mark, but maybe that’s just a testament of my hygiene or lack of hygiene, and not a sign of everyday people, especially not models, who get paid big money to pose like this, and to know to put a tampon in just in case she has her period or miscarries on set, as to not ruin the amazing ass shot…I mean they are professionals who know a clean asshole is key, while a dirty asshole can ruin a career.

Not that it matters, I just like lookin….

Posted in:Behati Prinsloo

2013

24

May

Houston Astros Snow Cone Vendor Takes a Shit with his Snow Cone of the Day

This is the reason why I try not to buy anything from anyone because the world is filled with fucking disgusting people, especially when they are getting paid 10 dollars an hour for a shitty fucking job, that would make any of us want to shit in the shit we’re selling, along with the rats that probably already shat in it….

You see I worked as a carni one summer for a month, before getting fired. I did the donut machine and the cotton candy machine and it was the single most unfulfilling gig ever….the only joy I had was knowing their was mouse shit in the machine when we set it up….and seeing the cunts take their first bite helped my anger and bitterness….a lot….otherwise I probably would have done real damage…

All this to say, this makes me laugh, probably because I wasn’t at that Houston Astros game and if I was I wouldn’t have bought a snow cone, that shit’s disgusting, I’m ore about drinking….

Posted in:Videos

2013

24

May

Jojo’s Shitty Photoshoot of the Day

Jojo makes me laugh, or at least the fact that she was at one point in time considered “jailbait” guys jerked off to and lusted after, even if it taught me early on in this celebrity blog game that guys are idiots with no standards who like pretty much every single girl posing because they are hotter than their wives, especially when underage because they are the forbidden fruit….

I don’t know what she’s promoting, maybe a new album, I’m not even sure if she ever had a first album, but I am sure she dropped off the celebrity scene to fuck black dudes, you know to keep things real….a strategic move in every popstar at her peak, right before everyone forgets you exist cuz you’re not 17 anymore’s career…..

Here’s the photoshoot video…it may cause a seizure….

Here are the pics:

Posted in:JoJo

2013

24

May

Trying to Look Down Miley’s Shirt of the Day

Miley Cyrus is probably the single hottest thing around. I say that because it upsets so many people who think short hair, don’t care, means a bitch has a cock, set of balls and is ready to back alley fuck you outside a gay club, giving you AIDS….while I know that short hair has no correlation to genitals, and in fact makes her face easier to imagine cumming on, you know since there’s no hair getting in the way….but maybe that’s just because I like bald women…from Cancer to Alopecia, I’m down….

That said, she’s thin, tight bodied, lovely as fuck….and never wears a bra…so call me a fag…while I stare at her titties….in something that is only gay if you’re in prison and the titties your getting hard for are on fat black dude who owns you……

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

24

May

Candice Swanepoel and Doutzen Kroes for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

In case you didn’t know Candice Swanepoel and Doutzen Kroes are models who were abducted by the evil corporation called Limited Brands.

Limited Brands had sales of 4 billion or more dollars last year, their biggest revenue producer – Victoria’s Secret.

Based in the midwest, the company has been catering to “middle american women” through catalog pictures of hot bodied girls they try to make into celebrities, by owning them, and promoting the hell out of them, setting them up with A-Listers, getting them gigs in other magazines….in what is all one huge evil ad telling below average chicks they too can be sexy for their husbands, give him something to fantasize about, even if they can’t…..

That’s why they must abduct girls from the third world, not that South Africa is necessarily the third world, unless you’re living in a tribe with HIV….or that the Netherlands are the third world unless you’re a strung out person on the street…..but they give these girls a stamp of approval, a green card to America, and the chance to become celebrities, in a job all girls everywhere want to have, because that’s the fucking power of marketing….

14 year old high school girls are not telling their teachers they want to be doctors or the first president….they are saying they want to be Victoria’s Secret models….and that’s some serious fucking brain washing….at 14, already committed to a brand, just because of the push they put in catalogs….pussy that I’d like to get pregnant, or at least mail jars of my sperm to, hoping they get themselves pregnant with it, in some freak accident….but pussy that probably shouldn’t be a source of inspiration for kids to idolize….unless you’re a superficial fuck like me who is happy that girls look up to lingerie models and not fat chicks…cuz maybe that’ll help the obesity crisis, increase fitness, and give me a new generation of chick to jerk off to on instagram in a few years….cuz I’m tired of all the fat….and want more girls to be flawless….and not Flawless like this hypocritical campaign, telling all chicks they are flawless while using chicks who are actually flawless….I mean if they really want to speak to fat trash, they should replace these ethnic babes with something more relatable….like Walmart Clerks….

Here’s the video….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|Doutzen Kroes

2013

24

May

Cop Gets Shot in the Face of the Day

This story happened on March 21, but the dashcam video was only released recently….

Deputy James Boyd from Montague County Sheiff’s office pulled over a black Cadillac and as he bends down to speak to the driver, he gets shot 3 times, twice in the vest, once to the face, but luckily for him it grazed his forehead and he lived another day….making him the star of a crazy fucking video…

Posted in:Videos

2013

24

May

Valerie van der Graaf for Elle Serbia of the Day

I think this Valerie van der Graaf is a better version of Kate Upton and not just because they model for the same bikini company…but because her face has the same effect, her tits are as sloppy and her body doesn’t seem like it’s been eating for the last 6 months preparing for hibernation.

She’s from the Netherlands, which means if things had gone my way, she’d be a legal prostitute in the red light district, but since nothing goes my way, she’s just showing off her hot body for money, instead of having sex with random passerbys for money….

I guess what we’ve learned her today kids, is that everyone is a hooker, it’s just a matter of price as to whether you penetrate them or just get them half naked…..and when they look like this, that’s a good thing.

Posted in:Valerie van der Graaf

2013

24

May

Miranda Kerr Stretching of the Day

Sure, this isn’t a pic of her naked, or a pic of her in an erotic downward dog, ass spread and farting as she exhales in total utter relaxation…..but it’s still a picture of her stretching it out, in ways that touch on the magical flexible stunts her long skinny body can do on my dick….which happens to be good enough for me…because let’s face it….I am easy to please….no seriously, if you saw my wife, you’d know what I mean.

Posted in:Miranda Kerr

2013

24

May

Some Model Named Alexina Graham Modeling Lingerie of the Day

Alexina Graham is probably a no name model….not that any model has a name….they all kinda blend into one another all half naked for fashion and shit….but at least they are trying to break through all the clutter that is internet pussy by getting half naked for lingerie companies I’ve never heard of…in order to showcase their bodies and assert to the world that they fucking matter, because no one wants to work 9-5, especially not this generation of internet whores who are both model and their own personal photographers for internet fans they’ve never met…so the fact that this model actually gets paid to be in her underwear, unlike all the selfies I jerk off to every day, makes her a pro and for that, we must acknowledge her…..or at least stare at her sheer panty pics and try to understand why she doesn’t have nipples….it’s that Damn Photoshop, or maybe the whole fair skinned redhead with invisible nippples plague I’ve heard about….and seen only once before…

Doesn’t matter.

Posted in:Alexina Graham

2013

24

May

Amanda Bynes Was Arrested of the Day

So the big news that no one should really pay attention to is that Amanda Bynes, attention seeker, has been arrested.

They’ll be playing it off as “she’s crazy and need help”, but I think it is safe to say that this is totally staged, mainly because of her awesome wig.

The charges are apparently that she has weed and a bong, like 80 percent of America, and that her doorman called the cops on her for smoking in the hallway….something we can assume she paid him to do.

It’s a classic, people are looking, give em a show, she’s not actually crazy, broken maybe, but really who the fuck isn’t.

I think it’s fun, and not just because I see it as a great opportunity to re-post her topless, busty, long leg, pics…

I just like seeing some erratic behavior, it reminds me that we’re not all medicated drones.

Keep up the good work Bynes, love, your number 1 fan.

Seriously. I’d marry this girl if only she’d answer my tweets…

Posted in:Amanda Bynes