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2013

28

May

Olivia Cockburn Paddleboards of the Day

Olivia Cockburn paddleboards in a bikini and it is really not nearly as eventful as her name, but maybe I’m just biased cuz whenever my cockburns it means I did something right, you know it means I came in contact with the right kind of whore pussy, that when I confess to my wife I came in contact with it, she won’t make me bang her for at least 2-3 weeks….if you’ve seen my wife, you’ll know that’s a win…

What isn’t a win is this Olivia Wilde body, that everyone is a fan of, even though I have no idea what it has done, but do know it fucks a comedian, which means it hasn’t done nearly enough….you know reaching for the bottom of the barrel of hollywood, the armpit of celebrity to drop load in you and make you babies is a bit of a fail….

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Posted in:Olivia Wilde

2013

28

May

Gisele Bundchen Hot Body for Vogue Brazil of the Day

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I don’t think Gisele has a penis at least I don’t want to think she has a penis, despite what people used to say about her being from brazil coupled with her hard face….and more importantly what people said about Tom Brady and his locker room boners while his team was changing, boners he played off as just being excited he won the game, no one ever questions the Quarterback. I mean he could pitch anal in the shower as a team building exercise, and he probably did, and no one would turn him down…it’s up on some keep him happy, it makes us money, it’s not gay cuz we’re a team, and initiation rituals prepared us for this….

She’s showing off implants, something Tranny’s can buy, in a bathing suit for Vogue Brazil and I dig it….because once they have the implants, trannies are no longer just dudes with long hair..

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen

2013

28

May

Ariana Grande’s Ass Cleavage Shorts for Instagram of the Day

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These shorts are everywhere….every time I leave the house….as cleavage is the new tit cleavage and as awkward as it is seeing it on 14 year olds, even if 14 is the new 23 thanks to the hormones in the food, their annoying tween chirping makes it a fail, even when knowing by the time they are 18, those curves are going to probably be just fat…

I don’t know who Ariana Grande, but she’s got fans, is on TV, is over 18, and is into showing off her new shorts, a harmless activity, that I am sure so many people have already masturbated to today, because that’s what she’s going for, she just doesn’t want the media to call her out on it.

After much reflection – this picture is awesome.

Posted in:Ariana Grande

2013

28

May

Girl Tries to Kill Herself Badly of the Day

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This is a horrible way to kill yourself….I think she’s most likely just high and fucking with traffic for some kind of rush…more than actually trying to kill herself…because if this is a suicide attempt, she deserves to die for being so stupid and such a fucking failure and properly executing it. Not that I like kids to die, even if they are annoying as fuck, but I just hate seeing people fail at what they put their mind to, especially when it inconveniences other people…

You see if I was driving, I woulda thrown the car in reverse and given her what she pretended she wanted….but I’m into giving….some would call me a modern day mother teresa…

Posted in:Videos

2013

28

May

Shanina Shaik in Swimsuit for Summer Splash of the Day

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Here is model Shanina Shaik, who has modeled for Victoria’s Secret, which means she’s an actual model, because Victoria’s Secret is the litmus test as to whether a girl is actually a model, or just a try hard, posing for other companies, trying to make as many moves as possible, before the scouts at Victoria’s Secret scoop her up, trap her, abduct her and make her their own to do whatever they want with….but I guess none of that really matters because here she is modeling for some other company I’ve never heard of, riding on the Victoria’s Secret stamp of approval Shanina’s got, and milking her in some boring pics and videos that I am going to post, because models are usually not fat and I like that.

Here’s the video….

Posted in:Shanina Shaik

2013

28

May

Woman Riding a Manatee of the Day

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I kinda wish that I got arrested every time my wife tried to make me mount her manatee sized ass.

This is some white trash free dolphin ride shit for those who can’t afford to be raped by assholes who abuse captive dolphins for white people entertainment.

It’s like watching getting kids swimming on a hot summer day in a roasting pan.

I guess what it comes down to is, what do you expect, this happened in Florida, and Florida doesn’t attract winners, ever…

This video reminds me of the Kim Kardashian sex tape.

Posted in:Videos

2013

28

May

Jenna Jonathan is the Glamour Model of the Day

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Jenna Jonathan is on some MTV UK show called The Valleys, that I assume is their version of Jersey Shore….and this bitch is the Snooki, only unlike Snooki, who wanted to be a profession pasta eating pig to fit in with the real Italians, this one wants to be a Glamour model….

Her fake tits inspired by her idol Katie Price. They claim she’s got a Law Degree…and luckily for her it is all paying off for her…I mean if you’re a broken male attention seeking slut who had a fucked up childhood cuz daddy either touched her too much or too little, you might as well be getting in magazines, rather than stripclubs or other more dangerous places….this here is far more Glamourous….

Lucky for her guys have no standards, see tits and get excited, it is all it takes for them. I have facebook, I see what kinds of gremlins some of you fuck. They make this Jenna Jonathan, who finally made her dreams come true and all it took was getting topless, look like a Goddess….

It’s depressing but we gotta love these basic girls with basic dreams doing basic things when those things are topless.

Posted in:Jenna Jonathan|NSFW

2013

28

May

Tulisa Contostavlos Fat Burnt Ass in Her Bikini of the Day

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My favorite thing about Tulisa Contostavlos, despite popular belief, is not her cellulite ridden ass, that she has managed to shrink down a little but that is still cellulite ridden….

I hate cellulite, it repulses me and I don’t fuck with girls who have it, probably part of the reason why I only fuck meth addicts…the other part of the reason being how affordable they are, and how tasty their scabs are…..

My favorite thing about Tulisa is her dirty blow job video she released a few years ago when she was a “rapper” and looking for attention that she got from Simon Cowell, cuz he could relate and appreciate her dick sucking moves, as he used a lot of the same ones on Seacrest OUT.

It’s too bad that her machine got it erased from the internet, before landing her on TV, because I think it’d be a nice support to justify why I’m posting her bikini pics…

Not that I need to justify shit, this is my site, get out.

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Posted in:Tulisa Contostavlos

2013

28

May

Gigi Hadid Hard Nipples at a Photoshoot of the Day

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Gigi Hadid is a model I have never done any posts on, but who is apparently the Guess model, like a modern day Anna Nicole Smith, without the fake whore tits and 80 year old Old Tycoon john she’s hooking for….because after hours and hours of research…or what felt like hours and hours of research…cuz I hate research….it turns out that despite her Arab sounding name, she’s from Malibu, she’s a Taurus, her agency is IMG, who also represent a lot of the Victoria’s Secret models, which means next step for her may be some Victoria’s Secret shit, just as soon as she’s done practicing having pics of her nipples taken for us to take in, before Victoria’s Secret and their evil empire try to erase them…in some Angelina Jolie titty amputation ritual they do to all their models…

No idea where this shoot is or what it is for, just glad it happened…and I’m also glad she’s not Kate Upton.

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Posted in:Gigi Hadid

2013

28

May

Paris Hilton Modeling Lingerie Even Though She’s Old and Fat of the Day

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Paris Hilton is way too old to be staging these kinds of shoots for herself, because you know no one hired her to be doing this.

This is up on some bored housewife shit. Hiring a photographer for the day in efforts to feel sexy and glamourous while the husband is out fucking new , young pussy.

I mean that is the world she was born and raised into, with her third or fourth generation rich parents too busy doing coke to parent her. It was the 80s people.

It’s just too bad that she’s already lookin’ like a botoxed up, divorcee who runs around with her younger K-Fed arm candy, fatter than ever, but like she still matters….in Sears catalog caliber shoots….

Not that she ever mattered, but her trust fund hired the right PR person to make us think she did back in the sex tape era…

All this to say, she’s the worst, looks like shit, and needs to save the lingerie modeling for Cora Keegan …she’s my favorite…in fact she’s the only one who matters….

Here are those horrible pics…if you look close enough…her vagina and/or uterus is hanging on for it’s life in one of the pics….and if you’re like me, it’ll make you laugh..

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Posted in:Paris Hilton