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2013

18

Mar

Miley Cyrus Bikini Pics of the Day

Miley Cyrus is going through a real hard time right now….you know her fiance of a few months, who I assume she was marrying for citizenship purposes, you know to keep the Australian around….since getting married at 12 years old is a horrible idea…unless it is to fuck immigration laws up….so she’s taken her young, fit body and lesbian haircut to some retreat to deal with the pain in her heart now that he’s fled back to Australia….and I’m a little disappointed…I thought her body was better than this…I was expecting a Miley bikini to blow my fucking mind…while the only thing that has blown my mind is coming to terms with the fact that I know anything about her relationship status….I know more about her love life than I do about the size, shape, dimensions of her labia….and that’s fucking weird.

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Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

18

Mar

Nutella on Booty at the Ultra Festival of the Day

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It is the Ultra music festival in Miami….which is essentially just a group of party kids taking over Miami during Spring Break…to party like idiots for a few days…to the “best” DJs and rappers in the fucking world….and these dude decided to head out there with a jar of Nutella and a few 20 dollar bills to spread in a booty of a willing girl….and lick it off cuz girls will do do anything for either a video camera or…..20 bucks…..

This may be ridiculous….but the real question I have in all this is why am I not the dude making videos like this…I’ve failed myself….

Posted in:Videos

2013

18

Mar

Jennifer Love Hewitt Half Naked for a Stndrd Magazine of the Day

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This whole Jennifer Love Hewitt deciding to get in shape and find her sex appeal at 35 is really strange to me….I guess what happened was that her ego couldn’t handle being laughed at in her late 20s and early 30s when she constantly got dumped from her boyfriends/fiances as she progressively got fatter….and she had to prove us all wrong…and remind us what her life in the industry is all about…but it would have been such a better strategy, if she was playing the role of the hooker when she was 22, you know when we really would want to see her half naked…but instead she was in high demand and the most she’d give us was some cleavage, like some good little christian….

I guess the life lesson is….if you forget about busty babes, they’ll turn fat and come back harder than ever to prove that they haven’t lost whatever they once had….and I guess I can’t complain about that….but I am sure I can find a way…like focusing on her being chubby, not toned even after photoshop at her best angles, without showing off her cankles…and 100 fucking years old….but I’m still into her being a fragment of what was….

Posted in:Jennifer Love Hewitt

2013

18

Mar

Blake Lively’s Awesome Bikini Pic for Twitter of the Day

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It took my 14 days to realize that Blake Lively posted this bikini picture of herself to social media…a bikini picture than in its own right…is pretty fantastic….but that since it belongs to Blake Lively…all married and shit….and out of work now that Gossip Girl is no more….she’s kinda taken the backseat…no one fucking cares…..because I fucking know when everyone, even an extra from a fucking McDonald’s commercial posts a bikini pic….that fact that this one fell through the cracks….just means she barely exists anymore….and I like to think that’s a good thing…cuz girls who barely exist always try to make a comeback…even after having a couple kids and a failed marriage…and based on this bikini pic….I am down to watch….

Posted in:Blake Lively

2013

18

Mar

Jessica Gomes in Agent Provocateur for Harper’s Bazaar of the Day

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Jessica Gomes is a 27 year old Australian bikini model who you may know from Sports Illustrated….where she models bikinis every year…showing off her awesome Australian body….and half Portugese Fisherman/half chinese titties….

Well, now she’s in lingerie for Harper’s Bazaar….fascinating. I know.

Posted in:Jessica Gomes

2013

18

Mar

Kellie Pickler Ass on Dancing with the Stars of the Day

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Kellie Pickler, hick…who I am convinced just plays up the whole hick thing, cuz everyone has a hot farmer’s daughter fetish….it’s just the way we’ve been brought up….has gone from American Idol to the fake titties on Dancing with the Stars…and seeing her arrive on set…makes me really want to milk her like a cow out back…ideally with my dick…and/or mouth….because let’s face it…..the stupid hicks all inbred and shit…are just happy to take any cock that doesn’t belong to their grandfather….at least that’s what I’m banking on….while violating myself to her ass pics….

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Posted in:Kellie Pickler

2013

18

Mar

I am – Bummed Lohan isn’t Going to Jail of the Day

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I am still a fan of Lindsay Lohan. I think she’s got serious potential and good things will eventually come her way….because let’s face it…she’s Lindsay Lohan…and herpes or not…I’d love to smear that vagina all over my face…

I was really hoping her sentence would lead to her in jail. I figure she could use the time out of society, and since she’s already a lesbian…or was a lesbian…she’d be in heaven…like on set of a lesbian porn scene….

With all celebs breaking the law, she got off easy….90 days in a lockdown rehab facility….30 days of community service…..18 months of therapy….

If only all people with her record got treated this way…breaking the law would be a lot more fun to do….but not all people are celebrities and don’t get that preferential treatment…

I’m just hoping she doesn’t die….cuz I’m into her…or at least her tits..and think they have a few more years in them….

She’s just a broken girl…and I don’t think this is really news….but I’m posting it anyway…cuz I like to live and breathe all things Lohan….when I remember she exists…like on sentencing days like today.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

18

Mar

Shiri Appleby’s Alleged Nude Photo of the Day

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This is some big news for the virgin losers of the world…. SHIRI APPLEBY ….may be promoting herself by releasing nude pics…and this may be one of those nude pics….cuz nude pics get people excited, they represent the hooker ethics and morals of a celebrity…or a girl who wants to be a celebrity…..while not damaging their careers if it is presented the right way….in fact…I don’t think it ever damages careers…cuz we wanna see all these TARTS naked….

Now if you’re like me, you have no idea who Shiri Appleby is….but let me bring you up to speed….she’s currently PREGNANT and in her bikini …..she was on a show called Roswell that every socially awkward weirdo I know watched…..and now she’s a guest star on Chicago Fires…and here she is or someone who looks like her….trying to get some male attention…cuz pregnancy…always makes girls feel undesirable…especically when they are struggling actors..

Posted in:NSFW|Shiri Appleby

2013

18

Mar

Christina Milian Tweets Some Ass Pics on Springbreak of the Day

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Christina Milian is my kind of single mother, recent divorcee, who has tried the playing house traditional shit….but who would much rather go wild on Spring Break like she was still 21…leaving the baby with the nanny, and spending the ex husband, who writes songs for Bieber’s money, going nuts…shooting off pics of her ass and her friend’s ass…in what is typical spring break booty party….in a generation that is booty obsessed…all to let her ex know what’s he’s missing, despite probably fucking three hotter versions of this girl at the same time as she took these pics, cuz that’s just how groupies work…..while she’s just lookin’ desperate while lookin’ like a bad mother….too old to be doing this shit…and for some reason, that’s fucking porn to me….

To See Her Cellulite in a Bikini in a WHole Lot of Pics
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Posted in:Christina Milian

2013

18

Mar

Karolina Kurkova Hot for Vogue Germany of the Day

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I don’t know if it is a fetish, but I would say that I am a serious fan of the 1960s farm girl look….especially when it’s pulled off by a pretty big lingerie model…..cuz I really love this shoot….it reminds me of a simpler times….or of a naughty bored housewife who is still good at doing housework cuz society hasn’t ruined her into thinking she can have a career…..you know

The other reason I like it, is cuz Karolina Kurkova looks hot as fuck, while she brings hope to all girls who were once fat…that they can stop eating and get skinny….sure it was a matter of her career being cut short when Victoria’s Secret almost fired her for being plus sized….despite 98% of their customers being plus sized…you know mall rats in small towns…trying to keep the spark alive for their high school sweethearts….who they hate…but have no choice but to stick with…cuz that’s the Christian way…..

Posted in:Karolina Kurkova