I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2013

08

Mar

Dita Von Teese Topless in Pasties of the Day

Dita Von Teese sucks. She’s just one of those right time/right place situations….a socially awkward nerd who found the internet in a time when the mainstream wasn’t on the internet….developing a fan base that was strong enough for the mainstream who hadn’t been on the internet and were slow to get on the internet to assume it meant she was famous….in what I like to call the “Tila Tequila Syndrome”….only I think Dita Von Teese was before Tila Tequila…but pretty much the same fucking story….dudes like bitches who get naked online and add them as friend on myspace…mainstream media find out about myspace and see dudes like girls by their friend count….recruiting them to be in their Playboy magazine….laying the foundation of a career as a 1940s obsessed Pin-Up/Burlesque icon who lacks any and all originality…who stirred the pot and got so many fat chicks involved in the movement…all sloppy with their nipple tassels on….when all Dita Von Teese shoulda really been was a lesbian pornstar…like her earlier work depicted….

So the internet made her a star…an artist…an icon in vintage stripping movement….but it ruined her lesbian porn career she was into when trying to get famous…..making her an all round fail…but here she is simulating toplessness regardless…


TO SEE PICS OF HER ROCKING CRAZY FUCKING CLEAVAGE
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Dita Von Teese

2013

08

Mar

Candice Swanepoel in Lingerie Pics We’ve Probably Already Seen Before of the Day

Victoria’s Secret pics are like sex with your wife…or long term girlfriend…who you aren’t even really attracted to anymore…not because they aren’t decent looking….but because they have been drained of all excitement and sex appeal over the years of seeing them at their worst….from shitting…to being the same ass you fuck day after day…when all you really want to do is fuck new pussy…but feel torn because you’re not an asshole who would go behind your trusting girl’s back…but shit…you’d love new pussy…even if it wasn’t as hot….just the fact that it was new makes it hot….

You know…the familiar, comfortable, predictable, feels like home kinda pussy you don’t really appreciate as much as you should, but know that you don’t want to lose it….

Because these Victoria’s Secret pics are the fucking same as always..which makes them boring as shit….but the girls in them are hot enough….to make us want to look at them…even if we know what to fucking expect…and even if they don’t give us boners like they did when we were 15 in catalog form before the internet…

It’s familiar….comfortable…predictable…boring…like white people, they all look the same….but shit…this Candice bitch…is pretty spectacular in any setting….

Here are the pics…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

08

Mar

Emma Watson in “The Bling Ring” Trailer of the Day

Everyone’s favorite hipster director….thanks to nepotism….Sofia Copoola….comes The Bling Ring….which is about the group of LA famous people obsessed kids who used the internet to track celebs and rob their homes….you probably remember that story…it was a big deal a few years ago…people like Paris Hilton, Rachel Bilson, Megan Fox and Lohan all got robbed….

Well the movie is comin’ out, and Emma Watson is in it, and this is the Trailer…and since I like the vibe of the movie and you’ve liked Emma Watson since she was 12 and you felt she’d grow up into a nice young girl…like you did with your neighbor’s kid…..I’m posting it…even though she’s far too clothed to really be bothering….but Emma Watson fans are weird and this is porn to them…..

Posted in:Emma Watson

2013

08

Mar

Holly Peers in Page 360 is the Glamour Model of the Day

Holly Peers is today’s Glamour Model of the day….and she’s doing my new favorite thing….the Page 360 animated GIF…where she does a little spin in pictures….making it all not quite a video, not quite a picture, but 100 percent objectifying herself…saying look at my body…like we were doing some kind of audition and this was the casting couch…where I scope her up and down to make sure there are no flaws…which obviously their are…that’s what makes her a glamour model and not an actual model…but luckily the other reason she’s a glamour model involves showing her tits…instead of working a boring job as a waitress or whatever else her limited skill set would allow…and without topless models…who have actual big old titties like Oprah…

Posted in:Holly Peers|NSFW

2013

08

Mar

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day


Today’s stepGIRL is @MMEDUSAAA ….and I let her think she’s in the driver seat of our internet love affair…..

I hate when pranks backfire. I was trying to get up on the Youtube prank craze, but I’m not much of a planner….so I usually execute these schemes when drunk, without a camera, and I never achieve the youtube fame I think I am destined to achieve at the time of producing the prank.

Last night, I decided to do the laxative in my wife’s food prank…think her having explosive shits for the next 12 hours was punishment she deserved for ruining my life and trapping me….here’s where the poor planning comes in…..

You see my wife is pushing 300 pounds…she has mobility issues and with mobility issues comes wiping her ass issues…making her a fucking stinky bitch to sleep next to…unless I take initiative for her asshole and wash it down for her…like a farmer washes down his hogs…

Meaning, my prank was awesome at first…but went south…pretty fucking fast….meaning my night was spent wiping ass…and not pretty ass either…the kind of ass that makes you homo….that I was responsible for making explosively shit….

#epicfail…

Here are some morning links…..

The 30 Sexiest GIFS of Mila Kunis
GO

Jennifer Nicole Lee Showering in a Bikini
GO

Girl Atomic Wedgies Herself – Amazing
GO

Some Bitch You’ll Want to Get to Know
GO

Two Girls on Bike
GO

The Very Rare Quadruple Kick
GO

The Science Aging
GO

Puffy Nipple Teen Plays With her Dildo
GO

Exploding Basketball!
GO

You Will Want to Fuck Allison Williams
GO

Jessica Jane Clement in a Bikini!
GO

Beiber Almost Died,…But Didn’t…UNfortunately.
GO

Star Your Day Jerking Off to Cam Girls….for Free
GO

Slow Motion Lingerie…Awesome
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2013

07

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

I am tempted to find a spoken word gathering of lesbians tonight…ideally in a pot luck setting at someone’s loft…that I can crash….equipped with a can of baked beans as my contribution to the potluck…because I can be communal too..and I know lesbians love beans….almost as much as they love wool….all cuz I like making friends…while mocking them…but I think I’ll probably just go to a gutter strip club instead.

Here are some of the stepLINKS….

Jennifer Nicole Lee Showering in a Bikini
GO

Chris Brown VS Valet Video is Funny….Hope He Takes Out his Fury on Rihanna’s Face
GO

Here’s Some Electricty Gone Nuts
GO

Hangover 3 Trailer
GO

Jordan Carver Has Huge Tits
GO

Nina Agdal Modeling Bikinis – The Video
GO

Proposal Ruined By a Wave – Amazing…
GO

Sarah Hyland is really interesting to me…not because I watch Modern Family…but because she looks 10.
GO

11 Awesome Photobombs!
GO

25 Reasons Why Fedoras are the Fucking Worst
GO

Lisa Rinna’s Funny Face / Awesome Pokies
GO

Lesbian Road Head…..
GO

Talking Through People Prank..Funny
GO

Lindsay Lohan Eating Is Amazing…..
GO

Hot Fucking Maria Sharapova Tennis Hotness
GO

Jessica Chastain is Playing Jane in the New Tarzan Movie that Reminds Us Hollywood is Out of Ideas
GO

Best Female Drummer
GO

Auction to take a Sex Dolls Virginity
GO

Rachel Weisz May Be the Next Bond Girl
GO

Seal Screams Like a Man
GO

I’d Fuck Maria Menounos Greek Like the Greek She Is
GO

Here is Another Elevator Prank
GO

Balance Beam Nut Shot
GO

Demi Moore Throwback Bikini Pics
GO

Dita Von Teese Cleavage
GO

I avoided Posting KIm Getting Her Titty Grabbed By Kanye – But I’ll Link It…
GO

Matt Damon Talks About Doing Michael Douglas Up the Ass
GO

Sarah Silverman in Some Pantyhose
GO

Beyonce Attempts To Keep It Real. FAIL!
GO

These Cameron Diaz Drew Barrymore Bikini Pics Scare Me
GO

The 20 Hottest Photos of Seren Gibson
GO

Taylor Swift Just Made 1 Million Dollars
GO

The Making of Bohemian Rhapsody
GO

Rachel Weisz Esquire Tits
GO

Throwback Rihanna in a Bikini Pics
GO

Hot Babes Cleaning the House Naked
GO

The Nude Rihanna Pics that Got Her in Trouble with Her Momma
GO

Dancing with the Stars Promo Shoots
GO

Chelsea Handler Thinks Taylor Swift is a Virgin….A concept Chelsea Handler vaguely remembers…since her vagina opened for business a LONG time ago
GO

With A Face Like That, Bitch Better Have A Body Like This…
GO

Emily DiDonato is Dating Jake Gyllenhaal – What a Fail
GO

Howard Stern Might Be on TV
GO

Jessica Simpson’s Giant Pregnant Cleavage
GO

Epic Fire Prank
GO

Alessandra Ambrosio On a Bike in Short Shorts…..
GO

Lesbian Sex in the Sauna
GO

Meme Mash-Up
GO

Her Name is Hanna – and She’s a Fucking Babe….All Shot Artistically and Nude!!
GO

I Fuck Your Wife
GO

I Like the Ela Savanas Big Topless Video VIdeo
GO

Chelsea Handler Hates Angelina Jolie…..
GO

Emma Watson for Some Russian Mag….
GO

Baby and Pug in a Sneeze War!
GO

Too Bad the Kim Kardashian Miscarriage Scare wasn’t a Reality / Abortion – cuz You Know She’s just DOing this Baby THing for Money – Right
GO

Fart Lighting Goes Very Wrong…Hilarious….
GO

Rubik’s Cube World Record
GO

Allison Williams Cleavage
GO

================
From stepSMUT!! NSFW!
================

Awesome Amateur Hairy Pussy
GO

Teen Films Herself Rubbing it Out
GO

Electro Wife
GO

Busty Japanese Kidnapping Fetish
GO

Amateur Girls Gets Anal….While Sucking Dick
GO

Arab Sex in the Bathroom
GO

Chubby Girl Shaved and Fucked by the Pool
GO

Outdoor Bench Masturbation
GO

AWESOME AMATEUR WEBCAM SEX!
GO

I Make Girls Use Vibes On Themselves Always….These are the Best Out There…
GO

================

stepSHIRT INTO Future
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2013

07

Mar

Jenna Dewan Intensely Kisses Her Trashy Mom of the Day

This almost feels weird to stare at…

I mean I guess Texan trash…even with all that Texan money has the ability to look like it just fell out of an 80s movie…with teased hair and a bad dye job…filled with corn casserole…that may be served in a mansion but where the recipe was developed back in the trailer park she grew up in…

I’d say this intense kiss is just how the family does it…making me think a paternity test is in order…cuz just cuz she says it is Channing Tatum’s doesn’t mean it is….for all we know the real daddy could be her daddy…cuz if a non lesbian pregnant woman like this gets down to momma…I just can’t imagine how a cock hungry….proven by her uterus…girl gets down with daddy….

The weirdest thing in all this is just how much it is turnin’ me on….

It’s ok to love your momma…just as long as you document it for me to masturabte to it….I grew up on 70s porn…incest was kind of a recurring theme…

Posted in:Jenna Dewan

2013

07

Mar

Miley Cyrus’ New Boyfriend of the Day

Recent gossip has been saying Miley’s boyfriend or fiance…which in and of itself was a fucking joke in the first place….has cheated on her…with first January Jones…and now Emma Watson….because I guess he’s into skinny girls who look like 14 year old boys….because it is less illegal that having sex with 14 year old boys….

Well, Miley was supposed to delete her twitter, has instead made statements like “I will only talk about my music”…cuz it’s al about the music man….cuz I guess she’s getting attacked by her fans and followers…or maybe…she’s just broken on the inside…cuz your boyfriend cheating you can cause distress and stupid behavior like writing shit about it on twitter…which will make her look like a bigger idiot than she is..

Now she’s posting pics of her with her new BF…a fat black kid who’s shirt is covered with cocaine….cuz sometimes…especially these sad times…when your joke of an engagement is in trouble…coke covered fat guys is the only answer…..at least that’s what I tell every sad girl I try to bone…sadness is the prime time for bad decision making.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

07

Mar

Sofia Vergara’s Guns for Machete Kills of the Day

Sofia Vergara got herself some more acting work…because despite being 60 fucking years old….she’s still in high demand….for reasons I can only assume involve being from a Colombian drug cartel that feeds the execs in Hollywood….so that they have no choice but to hire her otherwise she will expose them….I mean that or it’s cuz she’s got ridiculous titties…and the movie maker’s know 50 percent of America are hispanic…and in being Hispanic need hispanic characters to relate to….so they might as well cast the best one…even if she’s better suited to be stripping like most single mom immigrants….

Well the acting work in the new Robert Rodriguez movie, Machete Kills….also staring Mel Gibson, Vanessa Hudgens, Jessica Alba, Charlie Sheen, Amber Heard, Alexa Vega, Lady Gaga….but none of the others made the first movie poster…cuz they don’t have tits they can sensationalize with guns…like he did to Rose McGowan’s leg in that Grindhouse shit…

Either way, here’s the poster, I hope it speaks to your inner nerd, which in your case is also your outter nerd…you’re just lucky nerd is still trendy and doesn’t result in getting beat the fuck up….

Guns for tits…on a girl known for her tits…so fucking clever/comedic/obvious/who cares…oh right, you do.

Posted in:Sofia Vergara

2013

07

Mar

Kelly Osbourne Just had a Seizure of the Day

photo via TMZ

Apparently, Kelly Osbourne was filming a show called Fashion Police, with Melissa Rivers for E!, complained about not feeling well and fell to the floor shaking…someone in the audience…who was either a doctor or a pervert pretending to be a doctor knowing this was probably his one chance to mouth to mouth her….helped….she came to…but they send her to the hospital anyway…cuz seizures aren’t normal…

I like to think it all started when she looked at herself in the mirror…

I would blame anorexia…but I don’t blame anorexia for anything…anorexia is the source of great things…like bikini bodies….

I do however blame her genetics…the sperm that made her was so contaminated….and made her this obese thing…along with her brother who has MS….

Is Kelly Osbourne death near?! Only time will tell.

Posted in:Kelly Osbourne