DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

08

Mar

Chrissy Teigan Naked Spray Tan for Instagram of the DAy

Chrissy Teigan is my best friend on social media….and I even signed up to her food blog…because that’s just how tight we are….you see I write her insanity about being a gold digger cuz she’s marrying some Grammy award winning piano playing singer….and she ignores me…but once said something about loving the site…because let’s face it…everyone does….even if she ignores me every time I reach out….

I just assume it’s like we’re an old married couple who have never met..I talk, she ignores…I masturbate to other girls…but still follow her shit…cuz I feel obligated…even if her jokes aren’t that funny…and her focus should be spent on getting naked….something she finally delivered on today…..cuz she posted a pic of her mixed race ass gold digging wannabe comedian ass getting a spray tan…and sharing said spray tan with her followers…cuz she’s open about her life like that…and because she more importantly….she loves any and all attention…that’s what happens to girls who only do SI…but never make the cover of SI….they work harder on building their own brand….which is made easier when financed by some dude she groupied right.

Who cares….oh right…I do….she’s lovely….

Posted in:Chrissy Teigan

2013

08

Mar

Alessandra Ambrosio and Adriana Lima are Fun On Set of the Day

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Alessandra Ambrosio and Adriana Lima, a couple Brazilian old timers…have come together, yet again, thanks to the management at Victoria’s Secret…who think it is funny to listen to their Portuguese banter on set….or maybe they just like the way their South American asses compliment each other….but whatever the reason it’s all keep all those pesky white girls out of this one…today is fisherman friday….right…cuz all portuguese speaking people are fishermen…even then Brazilian ones….right? And all South Africans have AIDS thanks to losing their virginity to the black farmhand and/or blood diamond. And all the Eastern European ones are communists. And all the Americans get paid too much cuz they already have their citizenship and don’t need to eat shit for a greencard…

Whatever the reason behind this glorious union….shit remains a glorious union….of ass

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Posted in:Adriana Lima|Alessandra Ambrosio

2013

08

Mar

The Best Danielle Fishel for Maxim Video You Will See Today of the Day

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I fucking hate Maxim. Just last week they sent me an asshole Lawyer’s letter asking me to take down all the maxim pics I have ever posted since 2010…because before 2010…Maxim used to pay me 1000 dollars a month to link their bullshit cuz I was a bigger site than them….I even spoke to their Lawyer…who is so backwards running after their pics…instead of just being like every other site who doesn’t care if you use their pics as long as you big them up..cuz it’s fucking marketing….you fucking cocksuckers…

So I refuse to post Maxim content or the low level D List chicks they are doing shoots with…unless it is in the form of an amazing youtube video by a serious fucking creep cuz finally…Maxim shoots have some fucking substance…

Fuck you Maxim…and Topanga…despite her fan base…has always been a chubby weird looking freak…so if you’re into this just cuz she has tits…I totally expected you to be…Childhood fantasies should die off with your dreams and aspirations you failure.

Posted in:Danielle Fishel

2013

08

Mar

Ashley Smith in the Shower of the Day

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Ashley Smith is an awesome gap tooth model who has rockin’ tits…and who I guess is making the move into acting….because here she is in some 5 mintue movie…this girl likes the camera….and remindsus how easy it is to be on camera….if you look like her…..

So this movie goes from her communicating with her dog about what to wear…showering in a way that I can’t see her nipples….going to a photoshoot….then meeting some creepy dude who looks like a woman/and or lesbian…for international women’s day I guess…..

It doesn’t end in anal….or close ups of her throat fucking like most movies end….but is a shitty love story and she is still seducing me with her hot model hotness…despite how bad this is….reminding me she exists…and leading me to my archives to find pictures of her tits…..

TITS That you can see –

1- Here
2- Here
3- Here

Posted in:Ashley Smith

2013

08

Mar

Nina Agdal for Aerie Bikinis of the Day

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I normally find Nina Agdal looks like a waterhead…you know a real down syndromer…the kind of girl who should be wearing a hockey helmet around at the grocery story…and a pair of mittens so that she doesn’t start masturbating like a freak in public as most retarded people do…because they really aren’t retarded at all…but more advanced then us…proven by their massive alien heads…that in turn know if they play dumb…they will be cared for, get preferential parking, and most importantly can get away with saying mean shit in public, inappropriate shit in publc, pulling their genitals out in public, and grabbing at unsuspecting girl titties in public…being like “it’s okay I’m a retard…no no a legit retard…I am allowed to do this”…

But these pictures are different…her tits…her body…totally distracting and awesome….she should dress like this more often…and I am sure she will…you know with being a bikini model and all…bikinis iskinda her thing…

Posted in:Nina Agdal

2013

08

Mar

Courtney Stodden Hot Video Insanity of the Day

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Courtney Stodden put on a wig and decided to show off her shitty acting skills…via her character she created in her insane brain…that is a gothic…rocker lookin’ chick named Courtland…who calls out Stodden for being a slut…saying she’s her half sister….then goes on ripping into her about marrying D-Listed Saggy Ball old man….promotes her band called CumBallzofBlood….which sounds awesome….then she shits on Courtney for being not being real…and a gold digger….

Sounding drunk…in stockings…and lingerie spread and slutty…I feel like this is straight from the role play she saves for the bedroom that she’s now sharing with us….and I am forced to take all the negative I’ve said abotu her back…cuz Courtney Stodden…is a telent…a real fucking talent….

Posted in:Courtney Stodden

2013

08

Mar

Mila Kunis Pantsless for Allure of the Day

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Mila Kunis is alright….isn’t she? Who cares who’s dick she puts inside her unprotected…that she will likely marry…and have kids with…none of that matters….because she’s just pictures and videos to us….pictures and videos we should all collectively try to get pregnant by throwing our load at our computer screens…hoping for some technological glitch…like the movie Weird Science…

Seriously…she’s pretty fucking good….in this allure photoshoot….despite all the flaws in her and her personality…and her sex life and public image….because none of that affects us…but her pictures do….and I want to impregnate them…..

Posted in:Mila Kunis

2013

08

Mar

Tina Fey in her Bathing Suit of the Day

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I am a Tina Fey hater. I don’t find her interesting, clever, amazing, or attractive…..I don’t like funny girls…or girls who everyone think are funny and I don’t like their silly little chick jokes for chicks and not just cuz it is International WOmen’s day…but everyday….making her billions of dollars…even though everything about her and her humor annoys me….it’s just shit that talks to everyday 9-5 girls and whenever she is celebrated…I get annoyed….But I appreciate that she wears bikinis from the 1800s so that I don’t have to see her mom body….because her mom comedy is bad enough…

I guess Tina Fey’s not as horrible as I thought she was….but she is as horrible looking as I thought she was….proving I am always right…in some capacity or another…

Posted in:Tina Fey

2013

08

Mar

Kamilla Hansen Nipples on the Fashion Show Runway of the Day

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Show NSFW Content

Kamilla Hansen is a 19 year old from Cabo de Santo Agostinho Brazil….she is 5 foot 10….and works as a fashion model….a topless fashion model who is walking the runway in Milan….all luxuriously…despite being little more than a glamour model….other than being taller and more attractive than one….because fashion is pornography….they just don’t want their advertisers or the models to know that…because if they did….they’d be stuck with gutter topless chicks and shitty sponsors who pay you very little….they are so clever those fashion people….and I appreciate that they are around cuz otherwise I’d never see this model’s tits….and I like seeing this model’s tits….

Posted in:Kamilla Hansen|NSFW

2013

08

Mar

Duckface Can’t Save Kate Upton of the Day

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Kate Upton making duckface doesn’t have the same impact as it does with teen girls on their facebook profile…you know making their cheekbones pop and their lips look voluminous….like they actually have some level of hotness to them….while for some reason it just makes cubby Kate Upton look like she’s chewing a big meal as fast as she can at the all you can eat buffet cuz there’s so much foot to get through in so little time……

I am not a fan of her sloppiness or her success…but she does have big tits that normally distract me from that….big tits she didn’t bring out in this pic…forcing us to see her for what she’s really worth….

Nothing can save her…I mean except those hangers….

Posted in:Kate Upton