DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2012

20

Aug

Taylor Swift Vintage Bikini of the Day

Taylor Swift is banging a Kennedy, because that’s just how American Royalty do it, and shit is irrelevant to me, partially cuz I don’t give a fuck about Taylor Swift or the Kennedys, not even those who get off for murder and live the rest of their live’s guilt ridden and alcoholic, but out of prison, cuz that’s what money and political ties will do….I don’t care about Nantucket, or the rich WASPS that rule the beaches and Yacht Clubs… I just care about trying to understand why Taylor Swift wears these high waisted bathing suits all the time….what is she hiding? Doesn’t she realize these are reserved for chubby girls into burlesque and pin-up, pulling some 50s beach flavor into one of their horrible routines lesbians really appreciate, and not for lean, skinny, seemingly fit girls, who clearly are just taking the whole classic White America thing a little too seriously…shouldn’t she be doing coke and raging out like a normal fucking starlet….

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Posted in:Taylor Swift

2012

20

Aug

Not So Erotic 50 Shades of Mechanical Bull Ride of the Day

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This 50 Shades of Grey shit has ruined 40+ year old women’s lives…it is making them hate their husbands….because their husbands are uninterested in fucking them…probably cuz they are a fragment of what they were when they got married….you know after the kids and shit….

It is also opening women up to light bondage, and shit they may have not been into, even though I thought all 40+ year old women were into the freaky shit since being post pregnancy, menopausal and bored….but I guess I don’t hang with suburban 40+

Well, it’s gone so nuts that middle aged girl are grinding their cunts against anything they can to see if it still feels…like this lady we shot on a mechanical bull going nuts…like shit was her boyfriend…or at least an awesome vibrator….

Marriage is boring, aging sucks, but not as much as if this goes viral and this postal worker, cashier, mom and granny gets seen in a whole new slutty light….

stepTV is back.

Posted in:stepEXCLUSIVE|stepTV|Videos

2012

20

Aug

Kate Moss Still Goin’ Topless on Yachts of the Day

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Kate Moss, despite the probable STDs, is awesome…she’s the kind of bitch you eat out even if you know it’s gonnna end in serious cold sores…the nuclear resistant kind that ravage your throat and make you unable to eat for months….the kind so worth getting that despite the pain and suffering you look at the positive, like weight loss and the fact you just ate out Kate Moss.

She’s lived a rockstar life, looked hot doing it, always shows her tits, well into her 50s…she’s a mother, a model, a martyr, a goddess, a fucking boner giver….and people hate her, I just hate all the dick she’s had…but as far as I’m concerned, and as far as her AIDS are concerned, she’s still a virgin to me….sent from heaven…to take over my jerking off fantasies….

This isn’t the first time she’s been topless on a yacht, probably not the last either….all that matters is that it happened….

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Posted in:Kate Moss|NSFW

2012

20

Aug

Pam Anderson and Carmen Electra for Lovecat Magazine of the Day

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There comes a time in every woman’s life where she hits a certain age and her vagina can no longer be referred to as a vagina cuz it is atrophied, ineffective, no longer functional…espeically when hep ridden and pretty much on Dialysis treatment away from death…..and I think it is safe to say that both Pam Anderson and Carmen Electra, memories from jerking off in the 90s, are at that point…but their retarded fake tits keep on delivering, because I guess they are still tween aged….

Lovecat magazine recruited these hags, and here are some of the pics…if you like expired milk…this is for you..

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Pam Anderson

2012

20

Aug

Candice Swanepoel’s Awesome Fitness for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel is pretty perfect….except for the AIDS shit that annoy all South Africans when I bring it up…because unlike Candice Swanepoel, they didn’t get the fuck out the first chance they had….but instead they stuck around risking HIV transmission every time they dance too close to someone, share a drink, get sneezed on, hold hands, or sniff dirty panties/bike seats…..She’s fit, she’s rich, she’s hot as fuck and even when posing in boring catalog shots…I want to get her pregnant….and I hate babies, pregnancy, but appreciate hot pussy and K-Fed’s work ethic….and sometimes that overpowers all….

Boring pics, hot women….get up on it.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2012

20

Aug

Kate Upton is a Fucking Tank of the Day

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I get SO MUCH fucking hate about this Kate Upton pig….because I call her fat, or a fat chick in training, because the simple fact that all busty girls at 18, have guts that catch up eventually, no matter how hard they try, cuz being DD and thin at 18 doesn’t last….and struggling with food as her metabolism slows down….becomes the fucking reality…

Well, I think this pic proves that the proof is in the pudding, the same pudding Kate Upton’s been eating too much of…

Amazing how good I am at calling these things..

Posted in:Kate Upton

2012

20

Aug

Amanda Seyfried Hard Nipples in Work Out Gear of the Day

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Amanda Seyfried was my favorite for about a minute a few years ago and I don’t really know what I liked about her…but assume it had to do with hr willingness to get naked in movies….at the same time as filming Disney movies…confusing me and her tween fans into trying to figure out why she was wholesome and G-Rated one month, and eating out Julianne Moore the next month, but her rocking tits on her small frame made it all ok….what also made it ok was knowing that Lohan wishes she pulled off what Amanda Seyfried has pulled off, you know this bitch came in and did a better job of it….and here she is with hard nipples…in workout gear…and I like it….

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Posted in:Amanda Seyfried

2012

20

Aug

Jojo’s Shitty Ass in a Bikini for Instagram of the Day

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The name Jojo fucking annoys me….how can a bitch be taken seriously…or at least be treated like anything but a worthless stripper whore when she tells you her name is Jojo with a straight fucking face…I don’t care if she is just riding her branding from when she was a tween and JoJo was a cute idea…or if she is actually tacky enough to go by this stupid fucking name…but I do know she takes a lot of bikini pics from afar for instagram because her bikini body is better from far…and far from good…but with my low standards and appreciation for girls who have been fucked by black guys…good enough.

Posted in:JoJo

2012

20

Aug

Coco’s Ridiculous Photoshoot of the Day

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Coco is fucking disgusting to me…but I don’t hate her for it…I mean I can’t hate every pig of a woman who gets half naked and flashes half her vagina, or sometimes her whole vagina, while rocking a fat dumpy ass implanted ass and some fake tits, like some gutter hooker trash that she clearly is and that she is clearly good at, cuz unlike other gutter hooker trash, she secured a millionaire Hip Hop legend to be her john….if anything, I appreciate that she exists…and inspires more girls to be like this….or at least give me some weirdness to try to understand…despite being trashy, unnecessary and not very pretty….

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Posted in:Coco

2012

20

Aug

Michelle Hunziker in a Thong of the Day

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The fascinatiing thing about this ass…is not that it belongs to super famous Michelle Hunziker…who I have done posts on but still don’t know what she is…or what she does…or really why I am even posting her shit…

I do know that she’s a mom…who like many whores had her kid when she was 18…probably trying to trap a man and secure her future with monthly paymens….a kid who is now 18…..and hot….but not quite as hot as her older, more experienced mother who bounced back from that pregnancy to become something this in her early 40s…something almost unhuman…but more importantly…a kid who is still hot enough to fuel mom/daughter fantasies we all have….at least tha I have…it is the whole reason I became a stepfather…

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Posted in:Michelle Hunziker