DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2011

10

Mar

Kate Moss Still Models of the Day

Kate Moss brought her polluted vagina out in a leotard for some fashion show. I hope they equipped the shit with Saran Wrap like they do on new bathing suits, in a “no don’t worry you can take this home with you” kinda way, cuz I’d hate to be the fresh faced model who is forced to wear the sample again for a photoshoot, only to have Pete Doherty remnants dripping down her leg 4 to 6 weeks later.. Needle sharing, groupie sex, rockstar loving pussy is not something you want to rub against, unless of course you are me, who would wear that leotard and/or her vagina as a gas mask walking into a fucking chemical warzone, but I don’t respect my body, but I’d love to respect Kate Moss’….ideally with my tognue..

Posted in:Kate Moss

2011

10

Mar

Rihanna’s Ridiculous Ass Pants of the Day

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We get it Rihanna, you’re trying to get noticed like you were the next Lady Gaga, even though you were before Lady Gaga, but don’t have the marketing appeal, cuz instead of pretending to have a dick, you just piss off your dick and make him teach you a lesson, like a lot of Island girls who don’t know their place cuz all of a sudden they make too much money usually need, only to turn on him, sell him out and bore the public into feeling sorry for you and not cuz you are you, but cuz you are a battered women, even though you deserved it….

But like any dude, I can appreciate this hustle. It doesn’t make me like you, respect you or give you my approval I know you so badly seek, but it does make me want to fuck you before leaving you tied to a tree deep in the forest to test your survival skills…

Amazing costume design….Next stop porno movie!

Posted in:Rihanna

2011

10

Mar

Lohan’s Left Tit Go To Court of the Day

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I haven’t been following the Lindsay Lohan story at all..I just don’t care cuz I’ve replaced my soul mate from Lindsay Lohan to Amanda Seyfried after Lohan totally went weird and boring…seriously, any story that has to do with her fucking sucks, she’s an amazing set of tear drop implant titties gone horribly wrong, she’s had the potential to do sex tapes, hot movie roles, really exploit herself like her parents and everyone around her have been exploiting herself, but instead, she went to rehab, became obsessed with a really unattractive controlling chick, and now all she’s got going for her is her left breast in a tight dress in court…Sucks to be Lohan…but it what sucks more is that Lohan’s not suckin’ no more…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2011

10

Mar

Mila Kunis Not Showing Her Vagina of the Day

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Here’s are some pictures of Mila Kunis not showing her pussy, but she should be…this whole hiding from the camera shit’s not hot, unless you’ve got rape fantasies, in which case these may be your thing, you know, bitch not looking you in your face, fighting you off cuz you’re penis is unwanted, but she’s weak cuz the roofies just kicked in, but maybe I’m just reading into shit a little too much…

Posted in:Mila Kunis

2011

10

Mar

Liz Hurley Old Lady Street Walker of the Day

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Liz Hurley is some hot old lady tits who owns a bikini line, but who won’t get in a bikini, and show her bikini line, I assume she waxes in hopes of feeling youthful like a 7 year old in her bedroom for her billionaire husband…probably cuz she’s not a busty 20 year old model who gets movie roles she once was and that aging shit fucks her up at her core….you know insecure about her mom body….but based on these pictures looks better than most bodies…maybe it’s just cuz she’s wearing black and shit is slimming according to my highschool Home Ec class I volunteered to teach for the pussy, but maybe I’m just down with old ladies holding onto their youth, especially when they walk the streets like common whores, when I know they are all fancy and use perfumed lotions on their pussies and shit back at her castle….AMazing

Posted in:Liz Hurley

2011

10

Mar

Amanda Seyfried Walking the Dog in Shorts of the Day

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I am the unofficial Amanda Seyfried fan club.

I blame Stripping Chloe .

That bitch….

Cuz no matter how boring she gets, I’m like Brokeback Mountain with the HIV, and just can’t quit her.

It’s pretty humiliating to admit how weak I am.

Good thing I have no shame…

Posted in:Amanda Seyfried

2011

10

Mar

Elizabeth Bell and Amanda Harris Naked in Some Movie of the Day

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I don’t know who any of these people are…I don’t know what this Devil from Within movie is, I just know they are showing their tits, which I guess is all I need in a movie to make it worth watching, I mean the horrible acting, the obvious stupid storyline can all be ignored, so long as their are tits….especailly when those tits are being drowned, not cuz I’m a necro or like seeing dead tits, but because I know how desperate this girl was to get an acting job to agree to put herself through this low grade smut…and that’s the kind of desperation to be famous I like…no standards or self-respect is the best kind of actor for me…it’s like she was one bounced rent check away from doing actual porn before getting this as her big break… Genius….

Amanda Harris Tits….

Elizabeth Bell Tits…..

Posted in:Amanda Harris|Elizabeth Bell

2011

10

Mar

Brittany Snow in Lingerie of the Day

2 Comments »

[IMAGES REMOVED DUE TO COPYRIGHT]

I am only posting these pictures to further prove my point that Maxim is no longer on the ship, they have fallen overboard and are fucking drowning and for some reason, I take great pleasure in their irrlevance, maybe cuz they were cocky big shots back when the internet first started, maybe cuz they run after me with lawyers letters every time I post their boring pictures of non-celebrities cuz that’s all they can get, maybe it’s cuz they are assholes, maybe cuz I just like seeing people fail..

I mean Brittany Snow? Is Maxim now Dancing with the Stars of bottom feeders….you know a place where people who were once on TV go to get their picture taken in their underwear…

All I know is that it’s amazing…and the pictures of the no name bitch trying to be remembered aren’t even hot…did they lose their photographer and have to hire the Sears family portrait guy? I mean fuck…These are a joke…and I feel bad for Brittany Snow who clearly has potential, but instead of team make her do this garbage…

When they email me to take these pics that probably cost them 10 dollars to coordinate, suing me for 250,000 dollars, I’ll be sure to post the lawywers letter. Idiots should be thanking me for the exposure.

[IMAGES REMOVED DUE TO COPYRIGHT]

Posted in:Brittany Snow

2011

10

Mar

stepNEWS of the Day

1 Comment »

Here is the news that isn’t the news to keep you up to date on totally ridiculous, even irrelevant shit going on in the world…that maybe you can use as a conversation piece to break the awkwardness when you spend your allowance on an escort cuz you’re tired of not getting laid…See, I’m here to help and I make you a better person…

Caught on Tape: Drunken Miguel Cabrera
Police were summoned to a Fort Pierce restaurant before Detroit Tigers star Miguel Cabrera’s DUI arrest last month because the first baseman allegedly threatened a manager and an off-duty fish and wildlife officer.

Man falls into tracks at North Station in Boston
BOSTON – A person who was unsteady on his feet tumbled onto the southbound Orange Line tracks at around 3 p.m today at North Station. Passengers rushed to his aid.

Alligator Used to Guard Pot Stash
California narcotics investigators raiding a home’s $1.5 million marijuana growing operation found an alligator guarding the stash.

Player ejected for tackling Borat impersonator

Fan sues after getting hit with hot dog
KANSAS CITY, M.O. – A baseball fan is suing the Kansas City Royals after getting hit in the eye with a hot dog.

Man sees Jesus, Mary on side of oven – LIAR!!!
PLAINVILLE – Look closely at this picture. To some, what you’re seeing is a pizza-making miracle. Josh Mather, of Mansfield, couldn’t believe his eyes.

Caught on Tape: Crook can’t get mask on
A would-be robber may want to practice with his disguise. A South Carolina convenience store caught this attempted robbery on camera.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

10

Mar

Jenna Jameson Pantsless with Trash of the Day

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Jenna Jameson…You’re better than being seen with this trash…I mean this has got to be rock fucking bottom…forced to take a picture with perpetual reality star from the early 2000s…who has since turned to posting nude pics on twitter to get noticed Adrienne Curry….I mean shit…getting cum on by HIV Positive dudes in the early days of your porn…hooking to really awkward and creepy fans at the AVNs who liked being shit on…getting raped by your dad and brother at the same time everyday at school….were all higher pointed than this…

Jenna Jameson…You’re better than this….

Posted in:Jenna Jameson