DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2011

13

Jan

Christina Hendrick 1999 Playboy Picture of the Day

Playboy tried to stay relevant by pulling out a picture of Christina Hendricks from 1999 when she was just a young slut trying to get ahead, hoping the Pam Anderson hustle would work for her, maybe doing it cuz she had rent to pay, but unfortuantely, she’s not showing her tits in a time before she was fat and when she was actually probably worth trying to fuck, not that you care what I think, cuz just her name blinds you from any rational thought, cuz you’re too filled up on boobs….

Apparently my site got hacked….Let me know if you notice anything weird….other than the clown in this picture…

Posted in:Christina Hendrick

2011

13

Jan

Olivia Munn Figured out Twitter of the Day

11 Comments »

Olivia Munn is one of those average at best girls who figured out what it took to get loyal fans, and it unfortunately worked because she irritates me….

She talked nerd shit for nerds making them fall in love with her and nerds are the most loyal fans…not to mention easy to please because they don’t care about how hot she is, they just care that she’s into what they are into, without realizing she is all bullshit because part of being a nerd is the unrealistic fantasy that motivate them to make millions which will in turn make these unrealistic fantasies come true. She figured out the nerd system….not that it was that hard….

Apparently, she’s finally figured out the point of twitter, cuz she posted some cleavage and people are talking about her….and her willingness to whore out…because nudity distracts from adequate at best looks…next stop for her is Playboy…..here are her tits.

Posted in:Olivia Munn

2011

13

Jan

Reese Witherspoon Helps the Homeless When the Paparazzi is Watching of the Day

5 Comments »

It’s always nice to see a celebrity reaching out to help less fortunate people when they know the paparazzi are taking pictures of them, you know to let the world know they aren’t greedy shallow cunt you’d expect them to be, I mean she looks so natural in these pictures, she looks so comfortable, like she’s with an old buddy and not like she’s about to get raped by hepatitis dick…

Hollywood is bullshit…I wouldn’t be surprised if this dude was a hired actor to help her with her image….

Not that it matters…

Posted in:Reese Witherspoon

2011

13

Jan

Rachel Bilson and her Box of the Day

2 Comments »

Wrong box Rachel Bilson….no one cares about seeing you load your car with your bullshit purchases….except for maybe my friend who loves watching bitches in the grocery store load their cars in the parking lot enough to have purchased a mini van with good tints so he can jerk off when they do….we want to see your fucking vagina….

You’d think being recently single from having been held captive by that weird Canadian no one cares about would make her a little more into flashing the fucking goods to get a little male attention…I guess she’s just a little rusty….

So here are those pics for my perverted shopping center parking lot creeper….even though he’s got an endless supply of the real thing…

Posted in:Rachel Bilson

2011

13

Jan

Paris Hilton Goes to Vocal Lessons of the Day

1 Comment »

Oh God….

I don’t know what the fuck I am putting this up for….I have a feeling that when I saw it and read the caption a few times….my survival instinct kicked in and like a bad action movie where we all need to board a rocket ship to start a new civilization on another planet kicked in….and I felt I had to warn you that Paris Hilton is taking vocal lessons, so that can only mean one thing, and that thing is a new album…..because one failure, joke, vanity project wasn’t enough, this ego wants more….

When really she should be producing another sex tape now with years of experience, ideally during a herpes outbreak while a few more months pregnant, because that’ll capture some attention she’s craving, while catering to my fetish….

Either way, you’ve been warned…

Posted in:Paris Hilton

2011

13

Jan

Jessica Alba Isn’t Hot Doing Boring Mom Shit of the Day

No Comments »

I am pretty confident that these pictures prove that there is little hot about being a mom. I mean this is Jessica Alba and she should in theory look good under all circumstances, in any condition, from shitting, to taking out the trash, to being unshowered, to gaining 20 pounds, to the idea of her nagging the fuck out of us to do more around the house cuz the Mexican maid she hired as a tribute to her Mexican father, but the second that shit happens knowing she has a kid….it loses all its appeal…..unless of course it is naked…which in these pictures she’s not….

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2011

13

Jan

Jennifer Love Hewitt Hiding Her Tits of the Day

No Comments »

With hips like this, the last thing this bitch should be doing is carrying covering her tits, cuz the whole point of those tits is to balance her out. They are like the optical illusion that allows us to ignore her weigh gain, that she’s marketing as a weight loss, because she’s not quite as disgusting as she was……and the real issue in all this is why the fuck is she walking around with a binder, channeling some kind of school girl, trying to trick us into thinking she’s all youthful and not the washed up, unmarried, single woman with the body of a mom without the kids….not that any of this matters, this is Jennifer Love Hewitt, she doesn’t matter….but here are her pics anyway….

Posted in:Jennifer Love Hewitt

2011

13

Jan

Rachel McAdams Tits in a Green Dress of the Day

No Comments »

So I was getting emails that my site was hacked, so I decided to be a hero to try to figure it out myself, you know cuz getting off my couch or paying experts isn’t really an option and I like to help the betterment of man if betterment is even a word…maybe it’s gooderness but I don’t think that’s a word either….

In my drunken stupod, I decided my pictures were causing a problem, so I deleted important files that made the site work…blaming my webhost for not helping me….calling my friend the coder….before finding out that I was in fact the cause….

I’ve always known I was self destructive, but to think I destroyed this movement of 3 retards I started in a matter of minutes has given me a new outlet for my anger….shit I’m gonna delete files, rename files, I’m gonna hack myself, it’s gonna be a new way to entertain myself…

It’s fixed now, and here are Rachel McAdams, some Canadian Hero and her perky tits on her press tour to celebrate…..

Posted in:Rachel McAdams

2011

13

Jan

Rod Stewart’s Knocked Up Monster Has Huge Tits of the Day

No Comments »

I am generally not the kind of person who is into weird animals at the zoo and their gestation, if anything pregancy disgusts me as much as it scares me, because the idea of a living creature growing inside you is pretty fucking twisted and unnatural, even though it’s totally natural and possibly the only thing we have left that is our core purpose as humans….but that all changes when the pregnant tits swell, the nipples get hard, even if they are on the body of a monster or have a troll hanging off the bitch cuz his hustle is attaching his midget self to all the washed up, tall blonde models who are manly enough to still allow his homo ass to cum….not that it matters….here are some Penny Lancaster tits to ignore her scary face….

Posted in:Penny Lancaster|Rod Stewart

2011

13

Jan

Venus Williams Wet Crotch Picture of the Day

3 Comments »

Nothing says sexy like a pussy so sweaty that it makes the bitch look like she pissed herself….Not that Venus Williams is really that hot in any setting other than her family functions….because compared to her sister, the old man down the street from me when he’s clean shaven looks like an 18 year old virgin in a school girl outfit with no panties or bra on….if you know what I mean….and if you don’t…then either do I….I am too distracted by what the chemical composition of the liquid that made her shorts look like this is….is it piss….is is vagina juice…is it just sweat and is that sweat from her asshole…is it a serious runny years infection….did she let an elephant cum insider her and now it’s dripping out…it’s a fucking science experiment I can’t get enough of because I’m weird and love everything wet about vaginas…from pee, to stained close, to STDs….they all drive me nutty….so if I keep looking at this Venus Williams shit…this picture may just end up getting anally raped….

Posted in:Venus WIlliams