DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Bella Thorne Titty in Paris of the Day

Pixie Lott Pushing Up The Tits of the Day

Kendall Jenner Wore a Nipple Dress for Fashion of the Day

Did Heather Graham Have Real Sex in Nowhere of the Day

Pregnant Margot Robbie’s Sheer Shirt of the Day

2010

Nov

Kesha Unfortunately Sexes It Up For Complex of the Day

6 Comments »

For those of you who read my stepLINKS, I’d like to announce that despite what I was thinking after a 15 hour nap, I’m alive…unfortunately for you I didn’t die on my own vomit as expected.

Unfortunately, I woke up to Kesha trying to be sexy…

Now I don’t have anything against Complex, if anything I love them. They featured me in their mag a few years ago in the same Dec/Jan issue, they made me feel like I had hope, and now I am trying to get them to sell my advertising for me, because I don’t know what I am doing, but unfortunately they won’t do it cuz they think my site is too racy, so I don’t blame them for covering her, I just wish they actually covered her… and I blame them for not putting her disgusting thickness in a fucking snow suit or some shit…

You see Kesha is not hot. She’s just some bullshit fake hipster because all hipsters are fake, who used to go out in LA with Katy Perry to all the hipster shows and I guess collectively decided that they should produce pop inspired from the scene they were trying to fit in.

I have pictures of them in action together before Katy Perry ran off with the dude in Gym Class Heroes who helped her launch a career, and before Katy Perry decided to bring her BFF party friend along for the ride by getting her her own album.

It’s all bullshit. It’s all marketing. These bitches have no soul and unfortunately for this post, Kesha has no sex appeal.

Here is the photoshoot video….if you look close enough you can see her dick…

Here are a couple pics….even though they shoulda stuck to just text on this cover….

To See The Rest of the Pics – Follow This Link
GO

Posted in:Kesha

2010

Nov

stepLINKS of the Day

No Comments »

I just slept the last 15 hours….I am sure I didn’t miss much and I am still tired so I am going back to pass the fuck out, but figured before I do, I’d put up the stepLINKS for you to entertain yourself with while my body either recovers or slowly dies in what I can only assume is telling me to chill the fuck out on the 3 day benders…

That said Happy Birthday Miley, no I’m not talking to the teen girl I pretended was Miley this weekend, her birthday’s not for another few months according to her fake ID.

Taylor Swift with Straight Hair Increases Boner Pptential by 1000
GO

Here’s a Look at the Hot Slut Replacing Lohan in INFERNO
GO

Because You Need to Get Off Today
GO

Katy Perry is Letting Mr Burns Motorboat Her
GO

Blonde Slut Flashes and Strips – VIDEO
GO

The 50 Greatest Quotes in Sports Movie History
GO

Because Who Doesn’t Like to Play With Toys?
GO

Nicolette Sheridan Birthday Tits
GO

Miley Cyrus Jailbait of the Day
GO

Nicole Scherzinger Let’s Us Look At Her Cleavage
GO

Wardrobe Malfunctions, a Gallery
GO

Barbara Bush Give Sarah Palin the Smackdown
GO

50 Spank Worthy Pics
GO

And That’s Why You Don’t fly a Kite Near Power Lines – VIDEO
GO

Very Bad Tattoos – A Gallery
GO

Top 10 Craziest Celebrity Mug Shots [Flicks]
GO

Drunk Bitch Stuck in a Dryer
GO

Mandy and Julie Bring the Hotness – VIDEO
GO

Top 5: Pornstars Before They Had Plastic Surgery
GO

Angelina Jolie Brings the Hotness in the Tourist
GO

Jessica Simpson is a (Fat) Class Act
GO

The woman that Every Woman Wants to Be
GO

Kesha is Disgusting of the Day
GO

Busty Teen Takes a Shower – VIDEO
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Hayley Marie is a Topless Paramedic
GO

Drunk Chick Gets Stuck in an Dryer – VIDEO
GO

Public Masterbator Gets Caught
GO

Magic Disappearing Skateboarder – VIDEO
GO

Someone Tried to Kill Bristol Palin With Anthrax!!! Holy Shit hahaha
GO

Maggie Grace in lingerie for ‘Faster’
GO

Olivia Wilde Totally Sizzles In Details
GO

Charlie Sheen’s Hooker Breaks Down In Tears Like A Baby
GO

Courtney Love Violates Twitter
GO

I Can See Olivia Wilde’s Nipples And I Like It
GO

Miley Celebrates Her 18th In Tight Leather
GO

Follow Me On FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

Nov

Juliette Lewis Crackhead Bikini Pics of the Day

10 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Juliette Lewis proving that hard drug use usually results in a pretty skinny and toned body and shit is a lot more fun than going the gym or trying stupid trendy diets like the master cleanse. You never see a fat crackwhore, at least I haven’t when wandering the streets looking for something to try to impregnate on the cheaps even though I know their weak, dying on the inside uteruses can’t sustain our child, that’s probably what makes it so fun, like playing some kind of real life videogame with my dick…

The unfortunate thing in all this is that I can’t help but want to contribute to her ass tattoo with my jizz.

Seriously, I never thought the day I try jerking off to Juliette Lewis and her dirty lookin’ almost 40 would come, but more importantly, I never thought I’d share that low point with anyone, it’s one of those secret people you masturbate and don’t talk about, like when you do it to your sister when she’s changing…If you know what I mean…

Posted in:Juliette Lewis

2010

Nov

Linnea Pihl Tits for Costume of the Day

6 Comments »

Here is some bitch with a crazy immigrant name modeling topless for some magazine or lingerie company I didn’t bother looking up called Costume.

The nice thing about models is that you never really know how old they are because modeling agencies usually keep their birthdays secret, and modeling agencies usually do most of their recruiting when a bitch is 14, meaning for all you know, these could be some 16 year old immigrant tits being shown off for fashion, cuz the immigrant wants to do whatever it takes to get ahead, you know to live a life away from the immigrant hell she is from, that whole American dream without being an actual hooker shit, which may seem too young to already be using tits for money, but I figure it’s never too early to get started on your future financial security, especially if you manage to do it in a way that doesn’t get flagged as a kiddie pornographer, since in every other business, teenage tits is a fucking crime, even though relatively freshly sprouted teenage tits are anything but a crime….they are just perkier than adult tits….making them a small taste of heaven…not that this bitch is underage…but you just never really know and that adds enough excitement to my terminally boring existence….to go on another day.

Posted in:Linnea Pihl

2010

Nov

Jessica Lowndes Thick Hips in a Bikini of the Day

4 Comments »

I had no idea Jessica Lowndes looked like this, mainly because I had no idea who Jessica Lowndes is, sure I’ve heard her name and I know she’s on 90210 the Next Generation, but I refuse to further investigate anything that bullshit lack of creativity or vision show that was put together in 4 minutes has to offer, except maybe when the stars of the shit are sitting next to me in restaurants, or when they are in bikinis…

So I had no idea how thick this Jessica Lowndes bitch was, those hips don’t fucking lie, but at least she’s got the right idea – covering herself up with a towel, doing us all a favor, cuz we have sloppy bitches of our own to pollute our minds everytime we see them naked…we don’t need some overpaid bitch doin’ it for us.

I am just amazed that this is happening to her so early on in her career, I mean it took Jessica Simpson at least a decade before her cake eating got the best of her….

Maybe she’s just pregnant.

Either way, it’s not as good as it could be, but I’m sure you’ll still like it. That whole small tits, thick hips thing really talks to you, cuz anything with a vagina does….just not in real life…cuz all vagina knows your a creep.

Posted in:Jessica Lowndes

2010

Nov

Pam Anderson Still Getting Work in India of the Day

1 Comment »

I guess comebacks happen for worthless pussy who was pretty much expired in America, all it takes is a billion brown people who only have one TV station cuz they are slumdogs who find looking at what they assume is an American icon with her blonde hair and fake tits on bitches who don’t have a lot of facial hair is not really something they have in India highly erotic….

I guess it just proves that when you have nothing going for you, you might as well take the weirdest low level offer your agent pithes you, because what you thought was defining the end of your fucking career, actually got you back into the fucking game….

Now all she needs is a sextape with Dev Patel and next thing you know she’ll be a hindu bride living in a palace like Princess Jasmine, never having to worry about anything, except maybe premature death due to her hepatitis, but that shit follows her everywhere….

Posted in:Pam Anderson

2010

Nov

Snooki is Royalty of the Day

No Comments »

I always knew this bitch was classier than she lets on…I mean she’s wearing a crown and that shit is only for princesses and queens….there’s no way a tacky trash can midget troll with fat chick tits who thinks she’s more important and fancier than she is now that she’s living the good life thanks to getting drunk on TV when her ugly fake tan midget face isn’t too busy talking bullshit on a show that pretty much reminds me that the end is fucking near…oh wait…clearly there is a way…and here are the pictures….

Apparently it’s her birthday or some shit, even though every day is her fucking birthday thanks to all the undeserved fameas far as I’m concerned….Don’t ask my why I’m bothering posting these cuz I don’t have an answer for you other than I’ve been drunk the last 3 days and I’m confused.

Posted in:Snooki

2010

Nov

David Arquette Proves That Being Single is Amazing of the Day

1 Comment »

Sure, he’s probably BBMing his cunt wife who is still on his jock about random annoying bullshit, making excuses to talk to him, like using the baby as leverage, but at least when he puts that phone in the off position, he’s daytime partying hard, using his stupid undeserved money wisely, recruiting some young pussy to audition for his dick, cuz he’s David Arquette and despite being a total fucking clown, he’s been in movies and that’s good enough reason for so many vaginas to be ready and willing….

Sure, this rebound with fresher that Courtney Pussy will only last a few months before his cunt from Friends manipulates him back out of guilt for their daughter, or that he feels his coke fueled existance feels so empty and all he craves is his life partner to snuggle up with and just cuddle, cuz trying to keep up with young pussy burned him out…. but at least he’s living out the glory days he can’t live out when married….

What it comes down to is that when you are famous, on any level, young pussy will always perform for your dick. You will always have money and enough fame to live out the good life. Something nobodies flock to cuz they envy it, making monogamy a fucking joke. Monogamy only works for dudes who can’t get laid and rely heavy on the one they tricked into signing up for life.

Here are a couple of pics to remind Courtney Cox that she just doesn’t matter anymore.

Posted in:David Arquette

2010

Nov

Sarah Jessica Parker Has Meth Face of the Day

No Comments »

I originally downloaded these pictures for personal use. I don’t have a Sarah Jessica Parker, I just like to look at her pictures to get a good laugh and to put me in a positive state of mind, you know trying to figure out how that thing was good enough to get as famous as it did….realizing that anything is fucking possible with the right marketing behind it…cuz I have actually heard bitches say this woman is pretty….and the whole thing is real comedic.

I thought she had a cameltoe in these pics…and figured there’s just something about bitches who look like meth addicted immigrant trannies named Chanel who pretend they are 25 looking for husbands to marry to make them legal citizens….you know with their cheap hair, cheap slutty outfits, haggard manly half paralyzed from the drug user face that really makes you feel at home…especially when it looks like a cameltoe…cuz it makes the whole experience far less homo….

Not that it matters. What does matter though is that I just posted a fucking Sarah Jessica Parker post and that’s gotta be a mistake on some fucking level.

Posted in:Sarah Jessica Parker

2010

Nov

Mandy Moore in Some Leather Leggings of the Day

2 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Mandy Moore spilling over a chair like some kind of morbidly obese person on his motorized three wheel scooter on his way to the donut shop.

I havent figured out if this is hot or not, but I”m going with not, I like to save the PVC / Leather pants for the 15 year olds. Thanks American Apparel.

Here she is reading books to kids, so wholesome…for a slut…or at least for a girl you’ve made play out some real heavy weird fetishes…cuz Mandy Moore fans are proven to be the fucking creepiest in a study I conducted a few years back…

Posted in:Mandy Moore