DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Bella Thorne Titty in Paris of the Day

Pixie Lott Pushing Up The Tits of the Day

Kendall Jenner Wore a Nipple Dress for Fashion of the Day

Did Heather Graham Have Real Sex in Nowhere of the Day

Pregnant Margot Robbie’s Sheer Shirt of the Day

2010

Nov

Jamie-Lynn Sigler Ruins Halloween of the Day

No Comments »

I will say that I never jerked off to Meadow on the Sopranos and that’s not going to change this Halloween. I am far more interested in staring at all the sluts on my Facebook and their Halloween albums, cuz shit like this, especially when on useless whores….is just boring…I think I realize that the whole point of Halloween is to divert our attention from the girls we lust for in movies and porn, and instead focus on real chicks in our real life’s bodies we never really noticed they had until they decided to walk around half naked and put pics of themselves on the interent….As far as I’m concerned, in this disconnected yet overly connected world…jerking off to someone you know even if it is just on facebook is a nice throwback to the way it used to be…there’s something wholesome in getting off to a real person…and sometimes it just takes a shitty costume on a d-list celeb to realize pussy you kinda know is really what’s actually important in life….

Posted in:Jamie Lynn Sigler

2010

Nov

Heidi Klum’s Halloween Party and her Guests of the Day

No Comments »

Apparently Heidi Klum does more than just get pregnant with Seal, but she also throws these Halloween parties and so many important people, like Kim Kardashian and Coco attend. I guess that’s what happens when you retire from the scene to be a family woman. I am not sure what she is dressed as, but I do know I can’t comfortably jerk off to it without feeling weird about it….

Here’s Kim Kardashian, still looking fat, even with her legs crossed and obesity strapped up in one of those harnesses they sell to fat chicks via infomercials late at night…the corset looks like it is gonna break, these costume grade shit’s aren’t meant to be used as functional fat chick shapers….

Here’s Coco lookin like Paris Hilton with tits and just being ridiculous, not necessarily justifying why she was invited to Heidi Klum’s party, but definitely justifying why I am compelled to look at her, like the elderly woman walking around in nipple tassels yesterday, I would have rather no bother staring at her or chasing for a pic, but her old lady tits just sucked me in.

Here’s Ashanti for those of you who like thick legs on a bitch who once had a hit song….which is probably all of you cuz pussy is fuckin’ pussy…no matter how low grade the meat is, we are hungry and need to be fed, except maybe for Ashanti who looks like she’s been fed plenty and that she’ll be just fine…

Posted in:Coco|Heidi Klum|Kim Kardashian

2010

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

3 Comments »

In case you haven’t noticed. It’s halloween weekend. We all know what that means….It’s a great opportunity to rape a bitch and have a valid excuse for the cops by saying it’s part of your costume…or at least wait around the bars and parties everywhere til closing so that you can bring whatever table scrabs you can home with hoping that whatever is under the mask or costume is not something that can end up raping you when it comes to….It is the weekend all sluts let out their true slut colors….It is the weekend all every day people feel obligated to go out and slut out….It is a weekend of eye candy and people acting like fools bringing the ridiculousness…and if you can’t get laid then you have no hope…something we already knew about you…

Here are my stepLINKS….I’ll be back Monday with all the celeb costumes and their crying for attention and maybe a few decent stories and pics of pussy I encounter….

If you want to keep track of what I am doing I tend to update facebook and twitter while drunk often….It doesn’t mean it’s good but it’s something…

If you get any good pics for me to post from your Halloween send them to info (AT) DrunkenStepfather.com…

Now go fucking party….

Kanye’s Cock Looks Photoshopped On For the Gay Chatrooms and Gay Sexting He Does When Bored.
GO

Audrina Partidges Mom Apologizes For Her Drunken Rant, Let’s Look at the Video Again Because It Is Amazing – VIDEO
GO

Friday Nught Means It’s Time to Spend some Time Well Spent
GO

Minka Kelly is the stuff Dreams Are Made Of
GO

Hot Young Wife Loves a Good Finger Fuck – VIDEO
GO

The Hottest NFL Cheerleaders of Week 7
GO

More Christina Hendricks Fat Pics
GO

Mena Suvari Topless Hotness
GO

More of My New Girlfriend Emma Stone
GO

Arianny Celest is Naked and I Like It
GO

Inguna Butane is a Model With a tight Body
GO

50 Pictures that will Make You Want to Lock Yourself in your Room and Jerk Off All Day
GO

You’re Gona Wanna Check Out vickie Blows’s New Calendar Hotness
GO

Howard K Stern Was Found Guilty and Is Going to Jail and By Jail I Mean Holly Terms of Jail Which Means Being Held in Custody For 32 Minutes and Then Probably Getting a Reality Show
GO

The Shittiest Karate Master I’ve Ever Seen
GO

Keri Hilson is SUCH a Babe
GO

Janessa and Betty Know How to Work It Together – VIDEO
GO

And MORE Rihanna
GO

Samantha and Friend Love Girl on Girl – VIDEO
GO

This Whole Randy Quaid as a Real Life Fugitive Shit is Getting Crasier By the Day and Now There’s a Dog Involved
GO

I Can NOT Fucking WAIT to See TRON!!! – VIDEO
GO

Every Once and Awhile I See a Hipster Chick That Makes Me Think Dirty Thoughts
GO

I Kinda Got a thing for This Michelle Monaghan Broad
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Random Pic Dump For a Friday
GO

13 Embarressing Nerd Videos
GO

Raquel, Ariel or Alexa? Take Your Pick
GO

A Little Lindsay Lohan Drama, Just Because
GO

Jaime Graham on VIDEO
GO

DavidArquette Cried After Sex Hahahahahahah
GO

Some Scarlette Johansson Cause We Haven’t See Much Of Her Lately
GO

Lohan’s Busted Up Face and Other Useless People Make Really Bad Jokes for Judd Apatow Cuz Judd Apatow is All About Bad Jokes….
GO

Make Me Famous on FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Remember – Everyone’s a Hooker….

LARRY DVOSKIN “EVERYONE’S A HOOKER” from Lucas Heyne

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

Oct

Jenna Jameson Does the Pumpkin Patch of the Day

6 Comments »

Jenna Jameson hit up the pumpkin patch because it’s the place you go if you don’t have a good PR person and you are in the mood to get a picture of you taken by the paparazzi…Unless of course this is the only fucking place in LA that you can get a pumpkin, like these assholes have the monopoly on it or something, and I’m just a little disappointed that she’d kill the excitement of what she’s going as this year by wearing her Zombie costume out early…not to mention Zombie’s are so fucking played out this year….oh wait…That’s just how she looks…my bad…I am also disappointed that she’s fuckin’ with such small pumpkins, you know based on what she did to her tits, and I guess what she did to her pussy, you’d think she was a go big or go home kind of slut…and really that’s no way to talk about my Twitter Girlfriend , but she neglects me lately, so fuck her…if you’re into takin’ risks…Get it? Cuz she’s a pornstar who would seemingly have a very polluted cunt….

Posted in:Jenna Jameson

2010

Oct

Taylor Swift’s Shitty Wax Figure of the Day

5 Comments »

This has to be the worst Wax Figure of a celeb I have seen to date. I mean I couldn’t even tell the real Diddy apart from his wax version, but I see almost no similarities in this one and the real Taylor Swift…I have a feeling that it’s because the celebs are the ones who finance the shit, cuz it’s part of their marketing campaign of their new album, and they have final approval on what the thing is wearing and what the thing looks like, so it’s sade to say that this is what Taylor Swif wishes she looked like, if she had the ability to play god….

I would rather fuck the discount bargain basement pussy I made out of piss stained newspaper, toilet paper rolls, and chewed bubblegum I used as a hymen cuz I’m into virgins, than this…

I am just curious as to whether they do a full body mould and if they do, why isn’t the guy who works that part of the production process mass producing the Taylor Swift vagina section…..not because I like Taylor Swift…but because I like vagina.

Posted in:Taylor Swift

2010

Oct

Rihanna’s Slutty Outfit Distracts Me From Hating Rihanna of the Day

5 Comments »

I guess Rihanna is dresssed like something I want to fuck on Halloween. This is like some throwback shit…

This is a nice change from dressing like a transexual from the future who want to see her green card confiscated from so that she gets sent back to barbados, pretty much falling off the map and leaving us all the fuck alone.

I fucking hate Rihanna and her thick legs, ugly hair, cry baby who tells on her man cuz he beat her the fuck down attitude…I hate her rockstar, ego that forgets it came from a Garbage man’s testicles and that lived in a shanty before turning tricks as a teen….but jean shorts, knee highs and a corset that makes titty pop are the simple things in life that make me forget the twat that’s in ’em….

I just got back from a volunteer gig I signed up for at the local high school for troubled kids because it gives me access to troubled kids who are almost 18 and statiscally going to be strippers and pornstars in the next two years….I figured halloween was the best day to start up, you know especailly since the world is so slutty, and I was right…

Unfortunately, I was asked to leave after 15 minutes when I asked one of the teachers if he noticed how hot the tits of of the girls dressed like a zombie slut was.

So much for trying to save the world by connecting with the leaders of tomorrow and giving them guidance…I try to do good for the world…but I just get shut the fuck down…

Posted in:Rihanna

2010

Oct

Daisy Lowe’s Ass for Crash of the Day

No Comments »

Daisy Lowe is Gavin Rossdale’s love child with Pearl Lowe. He was only proven to be her father when she was 15, it caused a lot of shit with his wife Gwen Stefani and it lead to rumors that he cut all ties with her, because you can’t let an old mistake come back to haunt you and try to ruin your happy new life with a woman who looks like a man but who everyone wanted to fuck in the 90s because we are gang of fucking homos who are fooled by marketing…

Except maybe for me, because I know that no matter how sweaty Gwen Stefani was, and no matter how hard her little boy nipples were, and no matter how ripped and chiseled her muscles were, I never found her appealing…that’s not to say I’m not a faggot, even though I’ve never had or wanted dick, but it is to say that I don’t like my women to look like they have one…but I am not Gavin Rossdale who openly is bisexual and who has admitted to being with dudes before marrying a chick who looks like a dude…

But I guess that’s got nothing to do with Daisy Lowe, even if we’re talking about her estranged stepMOTHER, and we are a site dedicated to step-Parenting and extended families, and what is actually important in all this is that Daisy Lowe is mooning us…proving yet again that a girl raised without a dad will do anything for male attention….especially one who wants to be a respected model…willing to perform for the photographer to pave her own way in life…despite the silver spoon….so there’s a lot of good things going on in her head…cuz it all leads to 21 year old bare ass her dad may not want, but I’m pretty sure I do…

Posted in:Daisy Lowe

2010

Oct

Kim Kardashian is a Fat Chick Dressed Skinny of the Day

9 Comments »

These are some weird pictures…

If Kim Kardashian wore her skirt any lower, she’d be at risk of showing the world all her straps and harnesses she uses to squeeze her into an “hourglass” figure.

If Kim Kardashian wore her bra any lower, she’d be at risk of it holding up her battered pussy life from all the negro dick, I’m talking deflated balless scrotum lips and dick shaped clit, instead of her big fat chick tits..

Trust me, I’ve seen bitches choked the fuck out almost on a regular basis a few years ago and I can tell you one thing by her facial expression that even botox can’t cover-up…and that’s that whatever is going on under the grey skirt is some serious fucking industrial strength spanx…

I guess all she needs to do to keep up this lie is keep dressing like she’s skinny, I’m sure she has a team of experts working on this all the time, cuz they’ve figured out that as long as her calves are in decent shape or she keeps wearing heels…no one will notice how fucking fat she is…

I’m eager to see her naked, without all the photoshop, cuz I have a feeling when all is let loose, it’s a fuckin’ disaster…I’m talking a Tsunami for the poor fucking who’s face is in between her legs when she unbuttons the floodgates that are her specially crafted in a lab by scientists underwear.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2010

Oct

Hilary Duff’s Push Up Bra and Erotica for Kimmel of the Day

6 Comments »

Not only did Hilary Duff bring out new tits and thick back her husband who got into Hockey cuz he loved the locker so much he decided to excel at the sport so that it would never end….you know the kind of guy who recruited her to be his wife to lure his hockey buddies into his bedroom by sharing her…you know these jocks and their team building..

Apparently, she also wrote a book and Kimmel decided to read the “erotic” exerpt at the end of the book, that can give you some ideas on how this bitch likes her Romance novels, but I think it’s safe to assume she didn’t write it at all, she’s just the face of it, cuz that’s what a billion dollar brand allows you to do…just ask the Olsen Twins…

Posted in:Hilary Duff

2010

Oct

Christina Hendricks Gets Confused for a Fat Hooker of the Day

3 Comments »

Christina Hendricks was filming some bullshit and I think she was either playing a hooker, trying to trick people into thinking she’s a hooker, or actually mistaken for a hooker…and I don’t really care because I can’t see past her fat midsection. It’s one of those things where I know huge stupid tits come normally come with a little extra weight, but that’s not the kind of thing I am willing to accept from Hollywood. They have a responsibility to seek out and cast girls who have abnormally big breasts for their small frame, because the second I see this bloated pig, I forget she even has stupid tits, but I’m reminded of all the nights I was in the mood to play with tits, but was forced to play with the rest of a pig bitch….it was like some horrible, world is unfair trade off…..we can’t have our cake and eat it too…unless of course you’re Christina Hendricks…at least that’s what her pants bursting at the seams are telling me….

I guess I’m not one of those guys who can ignore a fat bitch cuz she has fat tits cuz having fat tits when you’re fat isn’t talent or genetic superiority, it’s just what happens when you’re fat. Trust me, I know because I have a full C-Cup even though I’m a dude…thanks to a fried food and beer diet that involved a lot of sitting…it was easy and I guess that means I don’t even need tits, cuz I got my fucking own…..but that doesn’t change the fact that this bitch needs to put the sandwich, donuts and everything else she’s been eating and hire a fucking trainer…this is a horrible example for the kids…especially when she distracts us from the fact that she is this pig with her tits…and idiots like you make a big deal out of her fat chick cleavage….making girls everywhere think it’s okay to eat…that’s not a campaign I’m about to support….

Today is the first day of the “Get Christina Hendricks on a Diet that Saves Her Tits, but fixes the Rest of Her” project…

Posted in:Christina Hendricks