I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2010

11

Sep

Get me in the VMAs of the Day

I hitched a ride to NYC with a group of idiots. I crashed on couches cuz I am poor. I defied all odds and border patrol, all to get the the VMAs that I only found out about when I got here.

I have no hook-ups and need you to tell your friends…so word gets around that the most useless blogger is ready to crash parties…

If you know people at Make a Wish Foundation, tell them your fat friend with AIDS is ready to redeem his gift. I don’t have AIDS but I do have the capacity to pretend I do….

If you have a cousin, a brother, an uncle a sister who once fucked someone who worked at MTVs cousin, brother, uncle or sister….hit them up for me..

Email me at info (at) drunkenstepfather.com

Make magic happen for me….even though I know no one is reading this and if they are, they are losers with no hook-ups and if they are hooked up, they aren’t helping me…

But I am desperate and it is worth it…

On a sidenote I saw Jared Leto and he looks real bisexual. He was with Shenae “I got a black name” Grimes….and she was ugly as fuck in person…

Next stop, Lohan’s vagina….

Posted in:VMA

2010

11

Sep

stepLINKS of the DAy

I don’t know how a bitch driving a shitty Kia gets off saying she’s “Living the Dream”, but I do know it’s a pretty fucking horrible dream that no one deserves to live….

I also know I got hate mail….that I can’t really call hate mail cuz it’s hardly offensive….or funny…but I figure bitch needed some attention and I am nice enough to give it…

Are you gay? Is there a woman who isn’t boring? Or a whore? Or fat? Or ugly? I’m all for making fun of fat, ugly, whores, but it seems that all chicks in your eyes fall into one or all of these catagories. And that “of the day” shit was cute for a bit, but now its just annoying.

That’s all I have to say about that…..

The Hottest College Fanbases From the East
GO

Kristen Cavallari is Leggy in Shorts Shorts and Is Mean to Her Mom
GO

Sheyla Hershey Is No Longer The Woman With The Largest Titty Sacks In The World
GO

Cowgirl Slut Competition Sounds Okay to Me
GO

Because a Real Slut doesn’t Waste Any Time
GO

snooki’s boob slip
GO

Paintball Gun Up Her Snatch. Yeah You Read That Right – VIDEOs
GO

Caroline Wozniacki Cameltoe
GO

Rachel Bilson is as Sexy as Ever
GO

Jaime Likes to Look At Herself in the Mirror and I Like to Look at Jaime
GO

Draya Michelle is Just…Wow
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The Dude Form Celeb Slam Totally Pissed Off Tila Tequila By Calling Her a Saigon Whore and It’s Hilarious – READ
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My Little Terrorist Pony – VIDEO
GO

Best Man K.O.s Wedding Crasher
GO

Ahhhhhh Gotta Love a Nipslip Gallery
GO

Snookie Gets Her Sloppy Tits Out
GO in

Fuck Christina Hendrick’s Legs, It’s All About Her TITS
GO

Raquel Reign is Fine By Me
GO

Anastasia and a Friend Get Nasty – vIDEO
GO

Adriana Lima Hotness Throwback
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Which Drinking Games Will Get You Laid? READ HERE
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The Things I Would Do to Alexis Capris
GO

Camille Belle is Out and Looking As Hot as Ever
GO

I Wish I Lost My Virginity to Ashley Greene
GO

Gabriela Strips Down
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MACHETE IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER MADE AND ITS GOING TO WIN IN EVERY CATAGORY AT THE ACADEMY AWARDS INCLUDING BEST ANIMATED FEATURE AND BEST DOCUMENTARY
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Jailbait Hottie for Friday Evening
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Kelli is Oh So Sexy
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Random Pic Dump of the Day
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Scarlett Johansson’s New Mango Ads Bring Her Sexy Back
GO

Hot Female Celebs Wearing NFL Jerseys
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

I Would Totally Be Friends With Angelina Jolie (and Her Vagina)
GO

Julia Roberts totally Got Implants
GO

CARTOON BEARS WILL EAT YOU – VIDEOs
GO

Squirting Blonde Slut – VIDEO
GO

Christina Aguilera Fucks Like a Gay Man, So She Sayss
GO

Busty Slut Gets Her Video On – VIDEO
GO

An App That Will Get You Laid And Make You Feel Dirtys
GO

Follow Me, Fucker
FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

10

Sep

Scarlett Johansson for Mango of the Day

I never really got sucked into the Scarlett Johansson hype. I always saw a chunky, uninteresting girl with big enough tits and a nice enough face to look at, but nothing nearly as amazing as everyone seemed to think she was….she has flaws I just can’t ignore…unless of course I was dealing with them face to face, but since I’m not, I’ll judge her.

Sure she’s hot, I’d be an idiot to say she isn’t, but I can say she’s nothing special, I see girls as equally good on the daily and maybe I just have fucked up ideas of what makes a bitch hot or not….but I’m pretty sure she was a product of major fucking marketing…what I call big titty hype that got dudes excited….more than anything….cuz she has been consistently boring as fuck to watch….Never any drunken episode, nip slips or sex tapes, and as far as I’m concerned, that’s a sign of a bitch who thinks she’s too good and more important than she is. Fuck her.

But she photoshops well, so I figured I’d put these pictures up anyway.

Posted in:Scarlett Johansson

2010

10

Sep

Miley Cyrus Skimpy Clothes for Attention of the Day

I may find Miley Cyrus boring, ugly, retarded and inbred looking…I may not be as into her as the weird guy who messaged me on AIM today talking about how her jerks off to pictures of his wife and her sisters when they were 14 on vacation and in bikinis….something apparently A LOT of dudes are into, when really they should just go for 18 – 20 year olds who look like they are young to feed that fetish, cuz the girls who are 18 – 20 are less annoying, much hotter and more capable and secure in the bedroom….not to mention they don’t get your pervert ass arrested or shot by angry fathers who find out their daughters have been sending you dirty pictures…all because you have no self control and a fetish that is destined to ruin you….

Don’t get me wrong, I like young girls, but really anyone under 25 is pretty fucking young to me. If you saw my wife and her sloppy pig body, anything is firm…..So for you perverts, trust me it is just best to avoid all girls under 18 at all times even if girls are sluttier younger and younger…thanks to people like Miley Cyrus….you need to let them grow into legal sluts on their own…with kids their own age…it is just not worth the headache….Trust me, 14 was legal here for years, now it is 16 and I still avoid that shit like it is cancer…cuz it can be just as fucking bad….just less interesting….

I gotta say, I do like Miley’s ability to slut out to get more attention for herself than she already has. She’s at the top and knows how to stay there….All this to say, she is a good leader for the 18 year olds of tomorrow…..

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2010

10

Sep

Jessica Simpson Still Fat of the Day

Jessica Simpson has a responsibility to the public. Not only does she need to be a good role model for girls…to teach them to live a healthy life without being fat, but also to the men who spent years jerking off to her.

She doesn’t work, she has tons of money, she has all the time in the world to hire a fucking trainer, she is not pregnant, she hasn’t even had a kid yet, and really the whole thing is totally unacceptable. She is a public figure and going out there like Kirstie Alley or the bitch Carnie Wilson about how comfortable and proud she is cuz she can be herself and eat ribs 4 times a day and fit in a tarp of a dress and still lay there for guys to fuck her cuz she’s Jessica Simpson, is some lazy fucking excuse for a human being….

Seriously bitch, shape the fuck up, you sold your soul to the world, we tell you what you can and can’t do…and whether you are too fat or not…which I guess goes without saying….you waste of hot pussy.

I remember your Dukes of Hazard car wash scene. Look at you now. You fucking pig.

Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2010

10

Sep

Lacey Schwimmer is the Fattest Professional Dancer of the Day

Fuck DWTS, this bitch needs to get on video in spandex on Youtube…cuz fat girls aren’t supposed to dance…and when they do it’s fucking funny to watch….

These legs are trunks…Shit is not fucking normal for someone who burns 3000 calories a day….why she looks like this really just doesn’t make any fucking sense to me…

I know she’s fucking ugly..anyone with eyes can see she’s a beast of a girl…and I am not trying to give her credit she doesn’t deserve. She’s already tricked her way onto TV and avoided a shitty stripping career as the stripper no one gets dances from except for people who feel sorry for her or people who she gives a discount to, or people who like the bottom feeder ugliest bitch in the room trash cuz it is their fetish…. I just really think she’d be better off falling off a table while dancing on Youtube, or having a stripper pole catastrophe, fuck being on mainstream television, this tank is a Internet legend in the making….

Get her to partner up with the world’s shortest man, and I think my brain would explode trying to process the amazingness…

Here is some Dirty Dancing Pussy 3 decades too late, because I watch Dirty Dancing weekly, shit is better than porn to me, even though I never quite got what Patrick Swayze saw in her, other than the fact that she was Jewish and everyone knows that thanks to Summer camp, Jewish girls give AMAZING head….and also quite good at wearing ill-fitting sweat pants….

Posted in:Lacey Schwimmer

2010

10

Sep

Trashy Lookign Sluts at a Fashion Show of the Day

This is some bitch named Tinsley Mortimer, who apparently is from the south, has a rich father and landed her own TV show that I have never seen, and she’s doing the Richie Rich fashion show that Pam Anderson usually does semi topless , because I assume Richie Rich thought it would be clever to get rich girls to be his models, cuz he is clever like that….even though being named Rich, having a clothing company called Richie Rich, and featuring Rich girls as models is obvious, the dude was a club kid who did a lot of drugs in the 90s, give him some credit for not dying of AIDS, or ending up washed up on the street corner sucking dick for his next hit, while now he can just suck dick for the sheer enjoyment of sucking dick. That felt dirty to write…so wrong…

Here is some rich pussy and other idiots in what could be lingerie…..but is definitely boring…played out…and annoying…Just be happy I didn’t put the pictures of Ellen on the Runaway…cuz there is nothing hot about Ellen…ever….no matter how how the pussy she digs her whore lesbian tongue into….

Posted in:Tinsley Mortimer

2010

10

Sep

Ashley Greene Hasn’t Figured it Out Yet of the Day

Just when I thought Miley Cyrus strategy to get noticed was going to rub off on Ashley Greene, I have to be reminded just how boring this cunt is. Seriously, Miley showed her that if they wear see through shirts , or if they pretend to make out, everyone will be happy cuz two decent looking girls, who are way too popular for their own good, or for their own talent levels, will be doing something scandalous…..and that excites people…but instead Ashley Greene is back to her old bullshit of wearing normal clothes and doing normal things like walking, cuz she’s just cocky and thinks nothing will stand in the way of her and her Twilight fame, a fame she doesn’t think she has to cheapen herself for, but the good news is that all fads die and there will be a time soon enough when she’s scrambling for those glory days cuz she played it off all fucking wrong….

Posted in:Ashley Greene

2010

10

Sep

stepNEWS of the Day

My friend just told me he was at Walmart earlier today and a homeless lady lost her fucking mind because she got caught stealing condoms and nyquil. I love watching crazy shit, but unfortunately my friend isn’t up to date on technology and didn’t have a video camera on him, like 90 percent of the times I see something interesting….so it will never make it in the stepNEWS….but here is some shit that did…

OH Hair Salon Attack Leaves Mom Needing Surgery

A misunderstanding, a bad haircut, and a fight left a mom being attacked with scissors

WNYW Reporter Interrupted During Live Shot

Tai Hernandez of WNYW is interrupted by a passerby during a live shot report on the Mosque in Lower Manhattan.

Naked Man Found in Slide at Playground

A PA man was found naked and holding a bag of marijuana

Student Claims Teacher Got Her Pregnant

A special education student has filed a lawsuit claiming that a D.C. teacher got her pregnant. The suit also blames the city school system

Penn State on Alert Over Flasher

World’s Largest Breast Implants Removed

The world has come to know her well. Sheyla Hershey is known for her striking smile and her large M cup breast implants. She has tried to save them for the past three months, but that fight has come to an end.

MS Mother Knowingly Lets Kids Move In with Convicted Child Molester

A Mississippi woman is accused of knowingly pimping out her teen sons to a convicted child predator

Posted in:stepNEWS

2010

10

Sep

Heide Lindgren Nude for Playboy France of the Day

Here is the new face for Guess. Her name is Heide Lindgren. That’s all I really know about her, other than that she got naked in Playboy France, which unlike Playboy in North America, is more of a fashion magazine, because the french have been getting naked in magazines for decades, and naked in public places for decades, that our low grade, softcore at best porn is considered mainstream there…which is really the way it should be…but the Christian fundamentalists won’t let that ever happen, so I remain a porn site in America and boring in Europe…..and here are the pics of her nice natural tits….

Posted in:Heide Lindgren