DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2022

12

Jul

Jessica Simpson and the Fisting Glove of the Day

I don’t pay attention to Jessica Simpson or her toned legs from carrying her fat ass around all those years before the multi-million dollar weight watchers deal, even though her big tits have brought some joy over the years back when she was famous, because big tits always bring joy, even the gross ones, because they are tits.

Well, the other he posted a bathing suit pic, that doesn’t featured her belly, and she may even have a belly since her arms look toned too and those arms don’t get the same muscle work as they don’t have to carry her fat ass around…..we’re more interest in the tits….

At least that was until noticing the guy she’s pissing in the pool next to has a fisting glove on, sure you could say he has a sports inury, but that could just be to avoid injury from the fisting, and we’ll assume he got that glove from her Texan ranch insemination barn, you know where the fisting of all COWS, even JESSICA take place….

Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2022

12

Jul

Sofia Vergara and Went Crazy on the Filters of the Day

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Sofia Vergara is everyone’s favorite South American VIXEN who entered our life, like some many great things, via Florida.

I always wonder if her accent is truly her accent, or if she just plays it up hard. She has been living and working in the USA for somewhere around 30 years, because she came over at 19 from my memory, which is a pretty shit memory, but yeah….the human trafficked big titty whore who ended up in Miami and probably fucked all the right people along the way, while trying to get where she needed to go to impress the people at DISNEY / ABC…..to cast her as the hispanic wife…..in a little race baiting look how inclusive we are but you won’t care because her tits are stupid.

Anyway, she’s 50 and posted some birthday celebration, where she basically erased her face like a normie 50 year old on FB who doesn’t grasp photoshop or have budget to hire a post-production guy….

It’s like seeing a CGI or AR or VR or SEX doll which I guess this whore is…..50 years of HARD fucking that PAID off, I mean just look at her purse cake filled with money…..TRASHY gutter sex worker gone RICH…..or Cocaine Cartel’s family member with dirt on people getting bribed….both work, because we just care about th tits…

You gotta give her credit though, she pulled it off before turning 50…which is a fucking win….some hot big tits from other countries never make it no matter how hard they try…..and are forced to suicide by 30 when they assume it’s all over for them….perseverance with big tits pays and let SOFIA VERGARA be your inspiration.

Posted in:Sofia Vergara

2022

12

Jul

Kristen Stewart Thong of the Day

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I am pretty sure this is an old picture of angry lesbian gangster Kristen Stewart psoig in a thong with all her lesbian hats, that could be her ex boyfriend for the sake of marketing a huge franchise of stupid movies (ROBERT PATTISON)’s hats, but that wouldb’t make them any less lesbian.

Now, I’ve found Kristen Stewart boring as shit, gutter looking as shit, even the whole lesbian sex thing bores me, as it is anti-climatic and arguably a choice, not a BORN THAT WAY THING, which would trigger the LQBTQ…not the LITTLE QUEEFS BIG TITTY QUEEF community….but the other more annoying niche…..

But yeah, when looking at her thong, I’m like, girl’s got a decent ass, body, legs, and when her face, her emotionless acting isn’t tainting her, she’s got a decent ass, body, legs…and that’s worth looking at.

So never a Kristen Stewart fan, but becoming a Kristen Stewart’s Ass Fan has been a very formative experience, you should try it sometime.

=

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Posted in:Kristen Stewart

2022

12

Jul

Kari Riley Bikini of the Day

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Kari Riley is an ELITE Model, which is probably not like being an elite assassin, or an elite sportsman, or an elite pizza, which is the name of a meat lovers pizza at a place I used to go…..because being an ELITE model is like being any other model but that shouldn’t make Kari Riley sad, it shouldn’t make her any less viable of an option for you to jerk off to, it’s just to say that maybe ELITE models has a bit of an OVERHYPING name.

WHO CARES THERE IS A MODEL IN A BIKINI IN AN ERA WHERE EVERYONE IS A MODEL SO THAT STAMP OF AGENCY APPROVAL MAKES HER FEEL LIKE SHE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE INFLUENCERS SHE IS COMPETING WITH….or maybe she got her start as a model and is only with an agency because models are dead and influencers reign supreme….

Oh shit, that meat lovers pizza was called SUPREME not ELITE….my bad.

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Posted in:Kari Riley

2022

12

Jul

Tiny Tits Tuesday of the Day

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People seem to find it weird that I have a tiny tit fetish, in this society built on big stupid clown tits, where people who didn’t even have their own tits, were able to build a life for themselves, one of those “Invest in yourself and it will pay back in dividends” situation, where the investing in yourself is buying a set of 5000-10,000 dollar titties, which really isn’t that much money when you think of famous fake tits of history….from Pam Anderson, Jenny McCarthy, Carmen Electra, Kelly Brook, there were so many 90s whores with fake tits who are STILL making money off their tits 30 years later. It’s crazy…..

So yeah, society is tit obsessed and girls are influenced by society and think tits are the answer to everything….NOT REALIZING that tiny tits are tits too ad when I see them on a tight body, I’m way more into it than a set of big sloppers..

It’s a matter of preference maybe, but TINY TITS are hot and I am going to support, endorse, celebrate and masturbate to TINY TITS the way I would if they are big tits, because that’s the ONLY inclusivity I support.

TINY TIT LIVES MATTER.

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Posted in:TINY TITS

2022

12

Jul

Nicki Minaj Spread of the Day

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Nicki Minaj is some fake as fuck clown bitch who for whatever reason came out as the corniest popstar who literally looked like a clown attempting to be some weird versio of Lady Gaga for a different market, before they realized how lame that was, and put her in rap songs and videos where she rapped or RAPED OUR EARS about her asshole drippings or whatever the fuck she raped about….ALL while being an entitled twat from ACTING school, in the event you need to be reminded of her legitimacy.

Sure, she’s likely 6 feet deep into her “character” at this point and doesn’t remember her own self, because Actors are idiots who make big emotional whining deals about playing make-belief a few hours a day….that they are paid highly for.

Anyway, there was a glimmer of HOPE when she pulled her ANTI VAX shit, which was totally warranted, despite it being the era where anyone who spoke out against a poison shot was flushed, cancelled or censored….even though it was experimental, and had crazy side effects, that people who got the shot are still dealing with, just how many times have you tested positive for covid fool, how about those micro blood clots that will result in organ failure now that you’re sterilized and/or genetically modified….

But yeah, she ended up dropping that, getting reprogrammed in their facility, and put back to work with a new album that she’s spreading her legs for, and it’s really not all that hot, since she’s fake from her soul to her tits and ass and face….and I figure we can just jerk off to REAL DOLLS, they likely have more personality and tighter cunts…..but here she is anyway.

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Posted in:Nicki Minaj

2022

12

Jul

Tight Pant Tuesday of the Day

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I should be changing this to bitches in greco-roman wrestling leotards or whatever those homo wrestlers call their silly gay outfits before rolling around on a mat in their high school gym for some predator coach still living the glory days of when he was a letter wearing wrestling champ in his school and got all the bitches that he would fuck after hazing his teammates to make it feel less gay….”Hey Bruce, hand me my leotard, I just came and have to get to class”…..maybe they have a different name for it….

HOWEVER, girls on the streets, even girls pushing 40, are rocking these bike short to shirt outfits and it’s alright, but it’s NOT TIGHT PANTS….but still kinda work like tight pants and I guess there’s still tight pants being worn, since just yesterday I saw some tight pant wearing big ass, big titty girl on a jog…..and then I saw a tight pants wearing girl, because why wear pants that don’t show a modified, squeezed in, tighter version of you ass, that your pussy just can’t seem to get enough of, so it eats it up.

The point is, wrestling leotards or tight pants, or tight shorts, I’m into it.

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Posted in:Tight Pants

2022

12

Jul

Elsa Hosk Cut Out Bodysuit of the Day

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I don’t know if Elsa Hosk is the hottest model out there, I guess there’s no real way to determine that, and I guess the whole model thing is basically dead, as brands use influencers and fat chicks, or Pete Davidson, depending on how much money they have to burn…

So the idea that some hot tall fit bodied bitch just posing like a useless, vapid, mindless whore gets put on the back burner, while brands try to be woke, inclusive, diverse…..and a model, even a SWEDISH ONE, who is far too white and far too hot to be inclusive becomes less desirable…..and without her having the background of being a fake influencer, where she’s famous on the internet for living in a van, or for doing tiktok dances, or for wearing cool outfits, or for having her tits out ALL the time, or for being FAT TRANS AND FAKE AND GAY……YOU KNOW just a straight up model that does model shit….is definitely on the outs.

So we’ve got babes like Elsa Hosk, who should just be mindless hot models, doing the influencer thing to survive……which is lame…but we need hot models to survive, so she’s just trying to keep a dying and amazing thing alive…I mean…those model legs are ridiculous….and remind me of a far simpler time…

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Posted in:Elsa Hosk

2022

12

Jul

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

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If there’s one thing I know for sure, besides that I am a loser, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but if there’s one thing I know, it’s that girls fucking love wearing bikinis and really any swimwear, and they always have.

Sure there’s a handful of girls who pretend to be insecure or too fat for the bikinis when planning on vacation….but about 5 minutes of slipping into one, when all duddes instinctively look at their tits and pussy area, even if they look like pigs at the backwoods farm that the owners fuck because they don’t have alternative options, dudes still fucking look…which turns them on, makes them realize that they should post that shit on social media to keep the compliment fishing, since like BLOWJOBS no dude ever says, “You can do better”….but instead are distracted by the blowjob, or the bikini pic and say “that’s so hot”…..so we’ve got a world of girls who can’t suck dick thinking they suck great dick, and a world of girls who should be insecure in bikini, but fucking love the attention….

And like those dudes fucking pigs, I’m into all swimwear, because I am nostalgic and had to jerk off to bikini pics before GAPING ASSHOLES were the accepted selfie trend.

I’m so old.