I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2010

24

Mar

Audrina’s Stalker in Court of the Day

So a dude got busted dropping off letters at Audrina’s house and he must be crazy cuz everyone knows Audrina can’t read. Some stalker….

He was in court and he got frustrated I couldn’t hear a word of what he was saying but apparently it is funny…but not as funny as admitting to the world that you stalk Audrina Patridge, who is fucking useless and barely celebrity….almost as bad as getting arrested for stalking the bitch who works at Starbucks cuz she smiles at me and a smile means she is my wife in my culture that I invented for the sake of justifying why my dick is exposed and I’m asking for a Latte, if you know what I mean…

But in more interesting news, you can use online dating to make tons of money….from lonely, desperate women looking for love….a hero who with a strategy that makes sense….

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|stalker

2010

24

Mar

Bar Refaeli is Amazing in Lingerie of the Day

After seeing these pictures I made a run for the local deli, where I picked up bagels, cream cheese and Lox, smoked meat and latkes, kanishes and whatever else the Asian guy who owns a Jewish deli told me was Jewish food, because I figure it’s the first step in getting to know Bar Refaeli without actually getting arrested in the process, you see you can’t convert to be Jewish without knowing what you’re going to be forced to eat in the process and you can’t get close to Bar Refaeli without dressing up like a Rabbi looking for donations…The only issue with me converting is the fact that I don’t believe in religion and that I’ve been eating a pig for the last decade, sure she’s my wife, but I’m sure they’ll hold it against me….

Not to mention, I’m sure there is already a line-up of richer, funnier, more charismatic Jewish guys with better futures willing to drop their wives, their girlfriends and pack their bags and move to Israel for this girl…she is like the top of their food chain…the pack leader…the mystical Jewish woman they read about as young Jewish boys…

But luckily we still get to have fun with her and here she is in lingerie for Passionata some Lingerie company that probably paid her a lot of money for these pictures…so keep that in mind as you cum on your belly….

Here she is at the event celebrating all the money they spent on her amazing body…you know draw as much attention as you can to the shit to make it make sense….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bar Refaeli|Lingerie|Passionata

2010

24

Mar

Christina Aguilera is a Cocktease in Shorts of the Day

Christina Aguilera is a cocktease. Not only did she get married young and have a baby young, killing our fantasies early on, before she got old and tired and we had no choice by to kill our fantasies ourselves, in some kind of jerking off suicide…but also in releasing her new single…from her new album….

On Her Website she was advertising a new song was going to drop and there was a countdown…when the countdown hit zero…they released the lyrics to the fucking song…and no song…that’s some bait and switch shit if I’ve ever seen one…What the fuck can you do with lyrics..but I guess it involves her fans spending the next 20 hours trying to figure out the melody of the song on their own or some shit and posting it on youtube or some shit…

Now, I’m not a fan of much other than her tits and the fact that I thought I’d bang her at least once before I die, but that marketing lie would seriously piss me off…If I was sitting here at the computer waiting for the, you can’t fucking trick me like that…It reminds me of when girls promise me nudes and send me a pic of a naked old lady after I invest hours in making them feel pretty…and that makes me fucking angry….

Here are some pics of her with stupid hair and a stupid outfit showing off some leg….and in 20 hours we can all cry masturbating to her angelic voice in shitty pop song format again…good times…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Shorts

2010

24

Mar

Girl Jake Gyllenhaal Pushed Interview of the Day

If you’ve been reading this site the last few days, you will know I had a little altercation with Jake Gyllenhaal that his people and the restaurant he was in are trying to make disappear. They’ve even sent the Jake Gyllenhaal fan club into my comments to defend his honor and take away my credibility….

They are trying to make me look out like a liar. They are threatening me saying the incident didn’t happen. They are saying I am trying to get publicity, but I didn’t have a fucking camera…my website traffic hasn’t gone up. I haven’t made money. The girl involved doesn’t want her name attached to something so stupid and my name is left out of 95% of reports and prior to this event I didn’t even really know who Gyllenhaal was or how to spell his stupid name…I didn’t even recognize him when he was in the bar until people told me who he was…I write about celebrity pussy not celebrity pussies….

I just went to a bar, made a comment and insanity ensued and wrote what I saw on my personal blog. I am allowed to write what I saw on my blog.

There was also no crime in what he did…people shove people in bars…that’s why there is no police report…we aren’t babies who really care that much about this and it’s not like he beat the fuck out of the girl or something we are trying to make into a bigger deal than it is, he just shoved her in his fit and I was mad that he made her cry so I hit my site.

Everyone loves him so much thanks to marketing but he throws down temper tantrums better than a 5 year old rich kid…believe it or not, what you see isn’t what he actually is…

I love that the mainstream media is saying “We have the real story” when not one person has asked me or the girl I was with what happened-they’ve just decided that it didn’t happen on their own…Maybe they’ve asked Jake’s People…or the Bar trying to protect it’s reputation….Bullshit….

That was until today….when a local blog interviewed the girl who got shoved by him….

Now, I am officially ready for this to die like it was Heath Ledger…It’s as boring as Gyllenhaal’s IMDB page.

To Read Her Story Follow This Link – It’s translated from French – But It Is Accurate
GO

Posted in:Jake Gyllenhall|Montreal

2010

24

Mar

Candice Swanepoel Bikini Pictures for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

I was talking to a girl the other day who was going through her Victoria’s Secret catalog and I had a flashback of when the Victoria’s Secret catalog was the closest thing most men had to porn. I remember ordering the shit to my shithole apartment under a woman’s name because I didn’t want people working there thinking I was some kind of queer who buys women’s underwear, when I really just wanted it for good old fashioned jerking off…It was a simpler time where I didn’t have to dig through porn sites for something I haven’t already seen or something I am not already bored of…back when a little leg, midsection and cleavage wasn’t pathetic to cum to…It’s like they brought bikini porn into the home…a campaign for bikinis I got nothing by love for….

Whenever I think of how Victoria’s Secret has campaigned so hard to get bikini pictures into our everyday life, I remember the time I campaigned for bikinis…sure I was working on getting mandatory bikinis back when I volunteered for a senior aquarobics class and I was tired of seeing the bitches in this awkward one-piece suits with skirts attached the shit like they were 5 despite being 80. I tried for the whole “you are what you wear, so dress young and it will make you feel younger and all the youth are in 2 pieces and if you dress like an old lady you feel like an old lady ” kind of logic, but I ended up getting fired proving that you can get fired even when you’re not getting paid….

Posted in:Bikini|Candice Swanepoel

2010

24

Mar

Chelsea Handler’s Bikini Body of the Day

I’ve watched Chelsea Lately do a couple of interviews…I’ve never watched her entire show…but she is pretty funny from what I remember and I generally don’t find anyone funny.

I remember her ripping into different celebrities, making racist jokes no one got mad at her for making because she’s a chick with a harmless delivery and that in itself is genius….

She’s not that annoying and she’s not a dyke lookin’ pig of a woman like most female comedians…but most importantly she looks good in a bikini.

I wasn’t all that surprised, because most girls in gyms are Jewish girls…it’s like they like to keep up their appearances as best they can…even if it takes botox, a nose job, a lot of their husband’s money on hair and make-up and clothes, and I really have no problem with a bitch aging gracefully with a little help no matter how awkward lookin she was in her prime, cuz the white trash girls I hang out with who were hot in their prime all look like a weathered, fat, tired, poor piles of shit they blame on working a life as a cashier after they were forced to quit stripping and drugs, before emotionally eating their way thru the realization that life sucks….

So you should collectively jerk off to these videos and send them to the 40 year olds you know…cuz if anything Chelsea Lately proves there’s no excuse for their pig bodies.

Posted in:Bikini|Chelsea Handler

2010

24

Mar

Lindsay Lohan Falling Into Cactus of the Day

I get drunk enough to fall on my face pretty often. A couple weeks ago I fell up the stairs, then fell down the stairs, then fell in the street, then fell walking into the bar, and fell trying to get to the bathroom of the bar, then fell asleep in the bathroom of the bar, before being carried out of the bar….but I try not to lose the ability to walk, that’s usually when I go too far….

I don’t know if Lohan is wasted in these pictures, maybe she’s just numb from all the meds and didn’t realize there was a cactus next to her, or maybe it was just her stupid shoes that she couldn’t manage, or maybe she’s figured being a clown is a more probably career for her, or maybe she’s just fucking wasted….and all I know is that it’s too bad this didn’t happen outside my house near a back alley, and too bad she didn’t curl up and try to fall asleep after she hit the ground, because these pictures coulda ended up more fun…I mean until 6-8 weeks later when the sores blossom and I am forced to ask myself if that 30 seconds of pleasure was really worth a lifetime of dealing with dick scabs….

This isn’t the first time she’s fallen on her face…When she was in Montreal and I was standing outside the bar she was hosting an event at – she fell hard on her way out…maybe she just has balance issues and an inner ear infection….

Leave Lohan Alone….anyway you dice it, this is porn to me….

Here’s the video….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Drunk|Lindsay Lohan

2010

23

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

The Gyllenhaal bullshit bores me. It has definitely got to the point of ridiculous which is almost funny cuz I have much more legit bar fights that don’t end up in me getting tons of emails all the time.

What I wrote is what I saw. I don’t think there’s a crime in that. I do think his people are making a big deal out of nothing. I do know people are lying and it isn’t me…I think they are the reason the story got big…cuz I post shit everyday and no one usually notices….all of a sudden DrunkenStepfather becomes the Jake Gyllenhaal fanclub…seriously no traffic increase but one post had 200 comments when I normally get 3. Out of no where…fucked up….

Point is, he had a tantrum, he made a girl cry, no charges were pressed, it wasn’t a publicity stunt otherwise I would have taken pics, it hasn’t done shit for my traffic, it hasn’t landed me a book deal or made me money…I am not milking it, I am just annoyed of it. It is so insignificant story the real gossip people don’t care….and I don’t care…I just won’t retract my story because his expensive people think I should….

So if I get sued, I get sued…it’s not like I have an money or assets and it will get thrown out of court but I’d love for people who do run into him to scream “hey isn’t that the guy who killed Heath Ledger” because it would be funny.

As far as his multi-million dollar machine distorting the truth, creating their own truth, manipulating the media, all celebs do that – so never believe anything you read…

Now back to Tits…which is really why we are all here to begin with….Here are my stepLINKS – Click ‘Em…

And Another Slut to Add to Tiger Wood’s Mistresses. Here’s Some Shots of Her
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Which Would You Choose? X-Tina’s New Album Cover or Madonna Naked and Spread Eagle Over a Dog?
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The 10 Hottest Cougars of 2010
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Find Sluts Here, Jackass
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Cameron Diaz Seemingly Doesn’t Have the Body of an 11 Year old Boy Anymore and Is Filling Out This Pair of Jeans Really Nice
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Star Wars: Incent Edition – VIDEO
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2010 World Cup Draw: Which Country Has the Hottest Fans?
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Serena Williams Thong Slip
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Lohan’s Next Business Venture is Fitting….
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Boobs and Kittens! YEAAAH! – VIDEO
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18 Year Old Hottie Does a Striptease
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Lookin Good Sweetheart
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Wow, Who Knew The Best Job On Planet Earth Was in the Casting Department at Disney
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Everybody Hates Miley Cyrus
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Russia X The 80’s = AMAZING
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Rosa Acosta is Giving Us a Lovely View
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Christina Aguilera Upskirt Throwback
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Gracie is a Girl Next Door Type
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Guess Whose Ass is Back on the Market?
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Taylor Swift is Lookin Hot
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Tia is Pretty Ease on the Eyes
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There’s a Movie Coming Out ABout Wierd Al Yankovic’s Life – VIDEO
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There’s a Michelle Bombshell Sex Tape Being Shopped Around…
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Carli Banks is a Horny Slut
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Lucy Pinder is in NUTS – VIDEO
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Yeah I’d Do America Ferrera
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And More of Lohan Looking Like a Messs
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Nip Slip Galore! – VIDEO
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Striptease of the Day
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Britains Hottest Topless Babes
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Patricia plus Her Friend
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Bianca Beauchamp is a Dirty Girl
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Who Doesn’t Touch Their Dogs Balls on a Regular Basis? – VIDEO
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Some Japanese Penis Handling Instruction Manual
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Follow Me You Fucking Assholes
FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

23

Mar

Kate Moss in a See Through Shirt of the Day

I don’t understand why Kate Moss bothers wearing clothes….Sure she’s in fashion and gets all the stylish, expensive shit normal girls masturbate to the thought of owning, and I guess walking around naked is pretty inconvenient and cold, but we’ve seen pretty much everything she has to offer…but I guess with that logic…I should be campaigning that pornstars don’t wear clothes, that Carnie Wilson doesn’t wear clothes, cuz I saw that Playboy spread years ago should not wear clothes and in the absolute worst case for society that my wife doesn’t wear clothes…so maybe keeping the clothes on makes the most sense and I’ll be happy with strategic nudity, cuz nudity isn’t as good as it sounds…just ask anyone who’s been to a senior nudist camp….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Kate Moss|Nipple|See Through

2010

23

Mar

Lindsay Lohan’s Hiding in Her Old Chick Shirt of the Day

Lohan is in hiding and I’m not sure why. It’s not like she has a career or image to protect. I can only assume this is straight from her ego and her vanity trying to hide something embarassing like maybe she’s got a cold sore from sucking dirty Hollywood dick or a rash or bad collagen lips….I just know her shirt “Old Chic(k)” is pretty fucking fitting…

Don’t get me wrong, I still love Lohan and every text message I send her that she ignores, but her cover-up is pretty fuckin’ weak…she might as well get someone to carry a neon sign behind her that says “Lohan is Drunk and has a Herpe sore on her lip she doesn’t want seen”…cuz it is that obvious….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Hiding|Lindsay Lohan