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Kendall Jenner’s Asshole Behind Thong of the Day

Dakota Johnson Not Fanning on a Slutty Hike of the Day

Leni Klum or her Friend has Her Ass Out in Tight Shorts of the Day

Christina Hendricks Still has her Tits of the Day

Anna Paulina Luna in her Bathing Suit of the Day

2010

Feb

Annalynne McCord Tryin’ to Tease of the Day

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Everytime I see pictures of Annalynne McCord with an open mouth, she reminds me of some kind of primate that is about to eat my babies, who I need to fight off to protect my family, but instead of throwing her feces at my face, she’s always trying to act sexy, whether it’s wearing a see thru shirt, or tight clothing, or slowly letting her jacket slip off her shoulder in what looks unintentional, but is actually totally contrived kind of way, like some fuckin’ striptease where you don’t get to see pussy, and the whole thing is causing an internal battle in my head, do I throw my babies at her to eat and pull out my dick and start jerking off, or do I run for my fucking life.

I don’t know if that makes sense, but what I am trying to say is that bitch is ugly, but her body is solid and I’d still fuck it, just with my eyes shut or her on all fours, so that I wouldn’t have to see that face, not that it is an option, but I pretend it is, cuz it helps me get through my pathetic days, as admitting that fucking Annalynne McCord is not an option cuz she is “too good” for me, is some real depressing shit that I prefer ignoring…because I know she’s ugly, bottom feeding trash her and her entourage don’t….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Monster

2010

Feb

Zoe Saldana and Some Airport Security Porn of the Day

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Virgins Losers love this bitch because she is what they modeled the girl in Avatar after, and Avatar porn clips are all the fuckin’ rage in the virgin loser circuit, as virgin losers may hate “cheating” on their previous love interests and sexual fantasies they’re loyal to, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Xena the Warrior Princess, their love for technology just can’t pass up on new masturbation trends…….

I feel that once a virgin loser leaves the safety of his mother’s basement or computer filled apartment after years of therapy, some medication and a new outlook on life that realizes he will either kill himself or break the miserable pattern his social awkwardness and obsessive compulsiveness has created for him, hoping to make his way through life as close to a normal person as possible by divorcing his internet wife he met on an RPG game and trying to not talk about bullshit that only he and 3 other guys online find interesting, only to realize that real life is hard, since real woman walk around it, making everything so fuckin’ distracting, because everything leads to an erection….especially when all your fantasies come true and the actress who played your most recent alien crush is getting patted down in airport security in a pair of tight jeans that show off her flat ass the virgins don’t find flat because it’s ass and it’s connected to the bitch from Avatar….making them realize this whole living in the normal world is not going to work for them, it’s too much of a sensory overload, that is just way too much to handle….limiting their excursions to seeing Sci-fi movies in 3D for the 14th time…and going to the computer store to buy parts for the spaceship they are building in the garage.

I didn’t re-read this because I find editing too self-absorbed but I hope it makes sense…..otherwise it was a huge waste of time and by huge I mean 5 minutes of time which is huge if you only have 6 minutes to live. True story.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Airport|Security|Zoe Saldana

2010

Feb

Cheryl Cole and her Prison Tattoos for Those of You Who Care of the Day

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Cheryl Cole is from another country that I know nothing about. She is involved in a scandal that I know nothing about because she is a girl I know nothing about who was in a band I know nothing about and who was married to a half-black guy soccer player who I know nothing about and who rocks prison tattoos she may have got for committing a crime I know nothing about, or because she’s just a tacky piece of trash whore from the UK you all want to fuck who thought that these tattoos were actually hot when she got them, before being famous, back when she was suckin’ dick in lock bar bathrooms to pay the nice man who bought her all those drinks back for being such a nice guy, who lucky for her happened to be the producer of the Spice Girls who was responsible for finding Geri Spice the same way…..his nickname in the industry is the “trashman”….I just made that whole story up, but I figure it’s a hell of a lot more interesting than her actual story…..and suckin’ dick to the top is definitely not that far from the truth….

Here she is in some short shorts….

Here she is with a solid push-up or padded bra cuz her tits look pretty serious….

Here she is in a grey dress…..like a catholic school girl in her tunic you’ve probably exposed yourself on public transportation to….I mean if you’re anything like me…

Pics via Bauer
Pics via Fame

Posted in:Cheryl Cole|Tattoos

2010

Feb

Kate Bosworth’s Ass and Titties of the Day

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Skinny girls with hard nipples and a skinny little ass are always hot to me, even if they are useless actors who don’t get enough work for me to really figure out why you know their name or where you have seen them before, but you do know that even when their hard nipples are hardly there, it’s good enough and I have a feeling that’s the same thing she thinks to herself when she lands obscure and insignificant jobs in a “take the money and run while its coming in and people still give me work” kind of way…..and I guess we can only hope she has the same outlook on all things in her life, especially when it comes down to deciding who to stick inside her, because having no standards, tastes, consciousness is really the only hope we ever have of crawling up inside and dying inside this bitch like we were her laxative and diet coke eating disorder lunch….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Ass|Kate Bosworth|Tits

2010

Feb

Amanda Seyfried Beastiality Erotica of the Day

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Here is Amanda Seyfried paying tribute to the reason she is starring in every shitty teenage girl movie being produced today by reenacting frenching a bitch, only instead of her frenching that Megan Fox the weird thumbed, plastic surgery has-been holding onto her fame and sex appeal as hard as she can because a career based on guys wanting to fuck you only lasts so long, unless you’re Pam Anderson who is pretty much married to that David loser from the original 90210 bitch, this bitch is a dog….

The whole thing is weird, but I’m not gonna lie, I am a dog owner and sometimes things get a little hotter and heavier than they should, mainly because dogs can’t tell on you and love the taste of peanut butter, that’s not a lie and really, when it comes to eating my wife’s disgusting pussy out, and have the option to send him in instead of me, I really have no choice cuz it’s better him than me, not to mention it really does look like he enjoys it….so maybe the real animal cruelty is not letting your dog eat out your wife…fuckin’ PETA….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Amanda Seyfried|Beastiality|erotica

2010

Feb

Sarah Silverman Ruins Lesbian Fantasies of the Day

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I hate Sarah Silverman partially because she is fucking ugly but also because I never thought she was funny despite the world buying into her whole “be as gross and as inappropriate as possible” comedy. I just thought she had solid marketing behind her and since the world are a bunch of fucking spineless sheep with no opinion of their own, it made sense for them to find her funny, or at least say they do, so that they fit into the miserable conversation their coworkers have in the office.

But then again, I hate all female comedians, not because I don’t think vagina can be funny, but because they are all fucking dykes, or desperate fat chicks to begin with, and I fucking hate dykes and fat chicks. They are the breed of people that I pretend don’t exist, and I’d rather spend my time laughing at my bad jokes I tell hot little college girls in efforts to get them to show me their vaginas….

I guess in Sarah Silverman’s defense, she has been involved in a really funny joke at least once, and that was when I overheard a group of guys talking about how hot she is and they were fucking serious…I don’t know what kind of fucking guy is turned on by a girl solely based on her comedy, or why someone would think there is anything attractive about this big bushed, sloppy tit, who fucks Jimmy Kimmel pussy, but I can only blame the same Marketing campaign that got her a career.

Here she is trying to be funny, pretending to be a lesbian for the camera and it is really just a reminder that all my lesbian fantasies are NEVER what actual lesbianism is like. Actual lesbianism is a disgusting thing and that depresses me…..

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Lesbian|Sarah Silverman

2010

Feb

Hilary Duff’s Engaged and Wearing Little Shorts of the Day

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Engaged, Fatter, loser with stupid hair, who dresses like the good days of team initiation aka the sexual peak of his life, where broom’s in his ass were reality and not just something he jerks off to.

I don’t really keep up on Hilary Duff news, since I cancelled my membership to her fan club when she turned 18, or as I like to call it, irrelevant. I do know that she’s a little fatter, a lot more used up and apparently engaged to be married to some asshole hockey player that has turned her into the puck slut that gets passed around the locker room that she always wanted to be. Hey, this is team sports and nothing gets between the team, unless it’s a willing slut who doesn’t mind a dick in her mouth, ass and hands, while the rest of the guys are jerking off to the performance, but that’s all for team building and you know what, Hilary Duff was born for this……

Either way, her future husband’s a fucking joke with stupid hair who I guess is ready to claim her as his own, since the good days of team initiation, also knows as his sexual peak, where brooms in his ass were reality and not just something he jerks off to, is over and it’s time to settle the fuck down….

I’m diggin’ her little shorts and swollen, possibly pregnant or just on her period, or just wearing a good bra tits, cuz I guess whenever a girl locks herself down, she likes to cocktease the world to feel like she’s still got it, and I am not complaining, cuz that would be gay….

Here she is simulating sucking his dick, because sometimes, at least the first week after proposing to a bitch, that level of committment is all she needs to be willing to suck dick like when you first started dating, but that ends fast enough…until the same thing happens the first week of marriage…until that ends too….So proposing makes for good sex, but it’s a short term solution, as they all turn fat and ugly which is around the time of their sexual peak….conveniently located in a time you don’t want to have sex with them anymore….

Pics via Bauer
Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Hilary Duff|Shorts

2010

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

11 Comments »

I wasn’t having sex with this girl this afternoon, but I probably should have been. I was too busy trying to find a cheap Mexican food, a beer, and cheap willing women who are trained in massage but had to shelve their dreams of working at some luxury spa and turn their grip to giving handjobs on street corners….none of which came true…but I did convince a guy to let me ride in his horse drawn carriage and I felt like it was my fairytale wedding day….but only because my wife wasn’t there and a marriage without her is a fucking dream….

My stepLINKS are also rumored to being a dream in some parts….

Panties From One of the Tiger Whores….
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I Don’t Condone Hate Crimes, But When I See Gay People Like This, It Makes Me Understand Why People Beat Up Homos
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100 Pictures of Hot Girls Tailgating
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Because Friday Night Doesn’t Have to Be Spent With Your Mom
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Some Hot Sluts Wrestling in Bikinis and Oil – VIDEO
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Who Knew The Predator Could Rival Michael Jackson in a Dance Battle? – VIDEO
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Kourtney Kardashian’s Hottest Pics
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Jade Jagger Panty Upskirt Throwback
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Because At Some Point, Every Dude Needs a Good Wingman – VIDEO
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And Now, The Best Billboard Ever Made Ever
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Gwenyth Paltrow is a Walking Fucking Parody of Herself – VIDEO
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Euro Teen Gets Freaky With the Vibrator
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Angella Marcello is The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of
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Well Here’s Thr Proof Once and For All Lady Gaga Has No Penis, and To be Honest, I Preferred Being Able to Believe She Was Half Man
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The Only Thing Worse Then Playing Football Like a Girl is Playing Football Like a Jonas Brother
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Random Photos to Waste Your Day
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A Little Bit of Alicia Keys
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Miley Cyrus Short Shorts Because You Are a Pedophile
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Nikki April and Sammi Get It On
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Amber Heard is Fully Bangable
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Seriously Hot UFC Ring Girl Arianny Celeste
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Carey Mulligan Looks Like a Fairy I’d Like to Fuck
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WTF: Zebra Escapes Circus And Ends Up On A Major Interstate In Atlanta
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Lisa Rinna is Calling the Kettle Black
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Sandy is Bare Down There
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When a Hero Saves the Day
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I Gotta Go to Sweden and Bang Some Broads
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Nothing Says Comedy Like a Fat Crackhead – VIDEO
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Excercise Ball Faceplant – VIDEO
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Kitchen Striptease – VIDEO
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Kelly Rowland is Lookin Hot
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Corin Riggs Has an Ass Like No Other
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BONUS – MORE GULLY PROJECT SHIT AT CHUCK E. CHEESE
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Follow Me You Bastards!!!
FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

Feb

Tightest Pants Ever of the Day

10 Comments »

I saw this and couldn’t help but post it because I think these may just be the tightest pants ever and I can’t stop fucking laughing at the shit. You think she coulda chose shit in a different color, or maybe she’s not actually wearing pants, is this painted on? I really don’t know what I am lookin’ at, I just know it looks like the mannequin I once jerked off on, back in the 80s when I believe the movie Mannequin was a documentary…

Posted in:Ever|Tightest Pants

2010

Feb

Tiger Woods Press Conference Was a Sad Day for Men of the Day

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I wrote on twitter that people need to leave Tiger Woods alone. I understand he is a billion dollar industry, but making a man publically admit he’s a little bitch who is owned by his sponsors, while pretending to be defending his wife, when he knows she’s just as bad as the whores he fucked behind her back, in terms of only liking him for his fame and money.

I get that he was backed into a corner and had to read the shit 4 months later with no sincerity because he knows in the back of his mind that every single one of us would have done the same fucking thing.

I also know that as a billionaire, he should be allowed to fuck anything he wants, from animals on the endagered species list to orphans he imports from third world countries and we shouldn’t have any right to judge him, as he’s proven to us that he’s better at life than we are..

The whole thing was depressing to see no matter how hard he tried to let us know he was being forced to do it…Wanting to fuck is not “having a problem”, it is normal, it is what our civilization is based on and to give him shit about it is so against the American dream, it is just another example of Christians raining on our parade so everyone’s gotta fuck off and stop annoying me with this Tiger shit. It’s done.

I’m talking to you TMZ.

And I guess this press conference is the official joke of the day.

To See The Press Conference Follow THis Link
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Posted in:Press Conference.|Tiger Woods