DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2009

31

Aug

Cisco Adler and His Shy Groupie of the Day

Let’s face it, if anyone fucks this dude, it is strictly because he is famous or because he was on MTV or because he dated famous people or because he’s a budding rockstar with a pretty commercial sounding rap group, and it’s got nothing to do with how cool he is, how big his scrotum is, or how good lookin or talented he is and that’s why she’s covering her face, because she doesn’t mind the opportunity or doors dating him and his rich father may have for her, but she doesn’t like the rest of the world peering in and calling her out on her little strategic play, because even she knows it is pretty much bottom feeding at its best and that’s something you can’t stand tall and proud and celebrate, especially when we all know his dick’s been in you, you fucking dirtbag.

PICS VIA FAME

Posted in:Beach|Cisco Adler|Groupie

2009

31

Aug

Kim Kardashian and her Fat Tits of the Day

6 Comments »

Kim Kardashian is a new fucking woman, I don’t know what the fuck she did to herself but she doesn’t look the same at all and I guess even she figured she was lame as fuck and a total fucking attention seeking joke who only had a career cuz she let black dudes piss on her like the urinal at my local community center on a thursday night after the basketball practice and it was probably best to do try to escape that by transforming herself into someone know one fuckin’ recognzied. I hear the next big move towards escaping the shit is pulling a Chastity Bono, so enjoy these tits when you have the chance, cuz with whatever bra she has on, they are pretty spectacular.

PICS VIA FAME

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Tits

2009

31

Aug

Jessica Alba is Trying to Wash Away Her Dirty Sins of the Day

3 Comments »

Based on Alba’s baby, it’s safe to say she’s a dirty fucking girl, because to have a baby takes cum attaching itself to a uterus and in order for that to happen, Alba had to pull the condom out of the garbage and put it inside out and shove the shit inside her at least 20 times before it actually worked, cuz Cash Warren knew she was skipping her pill to trap him, and insisted on using rubbers that he brought, sometimes doubling the fuck up just in case she poked a hole in the shit or one was to break because she lined her pussy with Vaseline or oil based lubricant that destroys condom or some shit cuz she was just that desperate to get knocked the fuck up and trap the man she convinced herself was her soulmate.
So seeing her with wet hair reminds me that like my friend who fucked a girl with AIDS, no matter how many times she scrubs herself down, even to the point of bleeding, the damage is done and she’s still got serious baggage in the form of a kid and despite how great being a stepfather is, it’s not something I recommend for masturbation fanatasies…..dirty girl.

Here are some pictures of her from last week bending over that I forgot to post…..

PICS VIA FAME

Posted in:Dirty Girl|Jessica Alba|Wet

2009

31

Aug

Charlize Theron Playing WIth Hose of the Day

3 Comments »

I’ve liked Charlize Theron since her 1998 Playboy spread when she was first breakin’ into the celebrity industry the way all good girls should break into the celebrity industry. Maybe it had something to do with me just getting into my Africa fetish and was easing my way in slowly with a white as an elephant’s ivory girl, or maybe it’s just because she had it goin on and as far as I’m concerned, still does, especially when playing with a garden hose like it was my dick. Sure, my dick’s not long or as useful, but it is the same color and that’s good enough for me to make this fantasy complete.

PICS VIA FAME

Posted in:Bending Over|Charlize Theron

2009

31

Aug

Geri Halliwell Mocking Christ’s Crucifixion of the Day

1 Comment »

I think these are pictures of Geri Halliwell showing little or no respect to Jesus for dying for her sins, but I could be wrong, but thing the Christian fundamentalist she’s go after her for being the antichrist, but maybe she’s just being a fuckin’ idiot, trying to get attention showing off her mom body that I would probably fuck, despite the fact that she got abs tattooed on by some artist who is a master of shading on her sloppy streteched out mom stomach, not that sloppy mom stomach’s ever stopped me in the past, if anything it’s always taken the front seat because it comes with a solid discount.

PICS VIA FAME

Posted in:Bikini|Geri Halliwell

2009

31

Aug

Kate Walsh and Her Legs Go to Church of the Day

1 Comment »

I don’t know who Kate Walsh is but when I saw these pictures the caption read that she was heading to a meeting at church that lasted 2 hours and I thought she was dressed a little fucking inappropriate, unless of course she was going to the church of short short sluts who can’t make their marriage work.

That said, shit reminded me of this bitch I saw walking down the street yesterday morning in a pair of high fucking heels and a a short forucking dress, hair a mess, walking kinda slow and groggy, probably from having a rough fuckin night doing her walk of shame like the whore that she is, so I asked her if she was on her way to church just to rub it in and bitch just gave me a dirty fuckin’ look and kept walkin’.

So here are some pics of Kate Walsh and her legs, and they aren’t as interesting as her red vagina, but they’ll have to do.

PICS VIA FAME

Posted in:Kate Walsh|Legs

2009

31

Aug

Hilary Duff Takes Her Fat Tits to Lunch with Her Hocky Player of the Day

3 Comments »

I wonder if this dude ever expected to be dating a teenage popster after her teenage popstar status slowly started to fade and her designer jeans started to get bigger and bigger back when he was just a Canadian kid digging quarters out of his pedophile coach’s asshole in some kind of game he was told would better his chances of going pro, or some shit that I don’t have concrete proof about, but know from people who did do sports that a whole lot of homo shit goes down from the coaches to the teamates in the shower and in private meetings and the bond a team has means never letting that information out.

I guess the good news is that with weight gain comes fatter tits, which is probably more fun for her boyfriend to overcompensate and mask his homosexual fantasies with.

PICS VIA FAME

Posted in:Fat|Hilary Duff|Mike Comrie|Tits

2009

31

Aug

Feelin’ Sorry for Tila Tequila Ustream of the Day

3 Comments »

So here’s a video from the other night of Tila Tequila on Ustream trying to be sexy after a drunken night hosting a party at Penn State university where she pretends she’s drunk and wild, when I can tell it’s a bad act, I can also tell she lives a lonely life where she tries to get as much attention as she can from strangers to make her feel important as she sits in her hotel room at night talking nonsense to a bunch of fuckin losers who care what she has to say and hope they can pull at wack to her at 3 am, and despite being a whore who likes showing off her tits and cocktease talking all about nipslips and bullshit….

She keeps talking about where her people are from and loving her fans and reach, like an idiot and she keeps talking about her army and what she writes on twitter and bullshit and the bullshit only had 6,000 views cuz she is irrelevant, useless and no one cares, even though she starts deep throating her fries 15 minuttes into the video like the trash that she is would do. She deepthroats her burger and her fries and no one fuckin’ cares.

This shit goes on for a fucking hour dude… an hour….

Posted in:Tila Tequila

2009

31

Aug

Kristin Cavallari in her Useless Bikini of the Day

4 Comments »

I haven’t figured out what is worse, the fact that Kristin Cavallari’s got enough of a career to justify the paparazzi releasing pictures of her, even if she’s paying them to take the pics, or the fact that I am writing about her. I am going to go that me writing about her is worse, because I have control over that shit and if I was a little more creative, I’d find better ways to occupy my time, like playing tennis, or board games, despite how embarassing both those things are to me, they are better than me giving this girl anymore attention or credit she deserves, meaning I will not praise her useless cunt or make fun of it, she’s a nobody and like most nobodies, I’ll just look, expose myself and move the fuck along.

PICS VIA FAME

Posted in:Beach|Bikini|Kristin Cavallari

2009

31

Aug

Adrienne Curry Topless on Twitter of the Day

4 Comments »

I guess twitter is a good place for whores who made it as whores to show off their whore ways, cuz they don’t need to get approved by editors or any of that shit, they can just take the pics and be on their whore way. Adrienne Curry’s done playboy and been on some useless fuckng reality shows and she’s taken that talent that is a set of fake tits to Twitter cuz no one else gives a fuck about her anymore so she’ll do it her fuckin’ self.

Posted in:Adrienne Curry|Topless|Twitter