I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

17

Aug

Clever Teacher of the Day

Before dropping out of highschool, I was always the first to call out a teacher for being a failure in life. When they’d mark my papers or tests and I did shitty, I’d turn to them and ask them what the fuck they know, because if they were so smart, they probably wouldn’t be teaching. It’s that whole “those who can’t, teach” bullshit. But I guess I was wrong and teachers are actually pretty fuckin’ clever, they are just perverts who like young girls and being in a position gives them something to jerk off to when they get home after work, and sometimes if they are lucky, they can take them across stateline to fuck the shit out of them where 16 is legal. So I finally found a teacher that has all taught us something we can all use.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2009

17

Aug

Murderer Sex Tape of the Day

[VIDEO REMOVED CUZ I DON’T WANNA GET SUED, ]

After watching this Rebecca Gayheart sex tape, I wish I was the little kid she ran the fuck over, so I wouldn’t have to experience this boring fuckin drug induced naked threesome hot tub party with her husband Eric Dane and some other slut named Kari Ann Peniche.

It is censored, it was posted by Gawker, I don’t know where they got it from and I am too lazy to hunt down the original, but when I get it I will post it here, cuz I know you all wanna see McSteamy’s dick, you gang of fuckin’ homos.

This is obviously a publicity stunt. A really boring publicity stunt….She should be spending her time running over kids and not getting naked…Enjoy…

Posted in:Rebecca Gayheart|Sex Tape

2009

17

Aug

Shauna Sand’s Family Day at the Beach of the Day

Shauna Sand spent a wholesome day with her kids at the beach and she didn’t forget her “makes me feel like I am still young and have it going on, you know like back when Playboy was knockin on my door because stupid fake tits were relevant, and people cared about seeing them naked” boyfriend who she clearly has on payroll. She needs him around to grab her ass, otherwise the silicone gets all hard and doesn’t fall nicely, it’s pretty much his job and orders from the surgeon.
We’ve all seen her in this bikini before, it’s boring, repetitive and the only excitement it all brings is what the hell is her daughter going to be like when she turns 18, will she take her mom’s lead and be a dirty, disgusting whore, or did has being brought up with money, given her a better outlook on life, one where she is embarrassed by this trash leading to her not inviting Shauna Sand to her wedding, I guess we’ll have to wait and find out. Stay tuned.

Posted in:Beach|Bikini|Family|Shauna Sand

2009

17

Aug

Charlize Theron Makes the Wrong Bathing Suit Choice of the Day

I just did a post on Madonna making the right choice in bathing suits and now I’m doing a post on Charlize Theron making the wrong choice in bathing suits, leading me to believe that I should start a new website giving beach and watersport fashion advice, since I’m a fuckin’ expert on the shit, at least a self-proclaimed expert on the shit, where my logic is a complex as saying if you’re hot put on less clothes and if you’re disgusting, old, weathered, fat cover that shit up cuz none of us want to see it and in Charlize Theron’s case, while she walks along the beach, only steps away from being wet and splashing around in the surf, wearing this outfit is just fuckin’ wrong and unfair to the people who rent your movies and look at your Playboy spread for inspiration and a better tomorrow. Dressing like you’re an accountant going to a fuckin company picnic is boring, now take off your fuckin pants you South African whore.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Charlize Theron

2009

17

Aug

Madonna Makes the Right Bathing Suit Choice of the Day

I am definitely not the ideal parent, you know the kind of guy you’d want your kids to look up to as a mentor and advisor. I’m not the person you’d want teaching your kids life lessons and important things like how to treat other people, or how to drink without puking, but that’s okay, because I don’t have kids of my own to fuck up.

Madonna on the otherhand does and I think bringing her 20 year old fuck toy into her kids’ life some serious asshole behavior, that’s the kind of shit that will turn Lourdes into some kind of daddy issue whore, mimicking her mother and ending up with a pussy that has seen more cock than my uncle’s chicken farm, not that that’s a big deal, especially considering those are the only kinds of girls who have sex with me, and the fact that Madonna’s got staff to take care of the kids and to let them know that what their mommy does is wrong and that she’s a horrible, vile person who I am ashamed I ever masturbated to, but the one thing she did do right is her choice in bathing suits, because a covered up Madonna is a far better Madonna than one in a bikini. Good job, you whore. Let’s hope you drowned.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Madonna|Swim

2009

17

Aug

Geri Halliwell and the Bad Joke of the Day

The Bad Joke of the Day is going to be a short lived feature here on the site, where I find a bad joke and post it for all of you to laugh at it. I think I tried it once before, where I wrote the bad joke myself, since I am good at that, but today’s bad joke is a caption the paparazzi wrote to go along with this picture of Ginger Spice…

Ginger Spice Geri Halliwell looks like she’s trying to take Sporty Spice’s title as she goes for an early morning power walk!

Taking Sporty Spice’s Title….LOL….Good one guys….Maybe you should spend less time taking the pictures and more time writing this genius shit….

That said here are pics of Geri Halliwell stealing Sporty Spice’s title cuz she’s in sweat pants….

Posted in:Geri Halliwell|Ginger Spice

2009

17

Aug

Marisa Miller and Alessandra Ambrosio Dance Off of the Day

Here is some MTV bullshit that is probably not from this part of the world of two Victoria’s Secret models doing some guess the song dance off…unfortunately Lady Gaga polluted this shit but Alessandra Ambrosio’s shorts made up for it. There is really nothing funny about this video, just a whole lot of depressing since not all girls are made like this, but at least there is a whole lot of legs going on in this video and that may make your life a little more enjoyable for a few minutes before accepting the fact that the world is an unfair place, your wife is fat and ugly and your life is fuckin miserable….

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Dancing|Marisa Miller

2009

17

Aug

Sienna Miller Grabbin’ and Spreading Her Ass of the Day

I realize I posted pictures of Sienna Miller wearing the same bikini the other day and despite the likely possiblity that she doesn’t shower or change her underwear because she looks like that kind of rich cokewhore, I am pretty sure these pictures were taken the same fuckin’ day and I am only really posting them because I liked the picture of her spreading her ass cheek like a slut beggin to get fucked…I guess the other reason I am posting these pics is because I used to be a fan of her work, mainly because her work consisted of getting topless in every movie she was in at a time when i was into small tits and hipster fashionista bush, but those times are long gone, give me big titties and a bald pussy anyday cuz I’ve moved on and so has about 15 men she’s dated since then, because she has the ability to wreck homes with her pussy in the first few months of dating, but has no staying power, a lot like her career….here are some pics of her in a bikini…

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Sienna Miller

2009

17

Aug

Danni Minogue’s Waist-To-Hip-Ratio in a Bikini of the Day

It’s a good thing Danni Minogue got her tits done. It was like some self-fulfilling prophecy or someshit that went down when she was a little longer and trying to be sexy and relevant because that’s why girls get fake tits, anticipating that one day her ass and would get fat and balance out her top heavy self so that when her overall sex appeal dies down to the general population, the bottom feeders who are trying to get to her sister thru her vagina will still overlook the shit, that is assuming that she ever had any sex appeal and since she has a vagina, I assume she did, but I’m thinking she was nothing more than a whore with fake tits and a dream to get out of her sisters shadow, you know, who secretly wished the breast cancer would ravage her sister so that she’d be the favorite Minogue, something that didn’t happen for her, but what did happen this weekend is that she got into a bikini and here are the pics….

Posted in:Bikini|Danni Minogue

2009

17

Aug

Britney Spears’ Thick Neck in a Bikini of the Day

There are a few disgusting things about Britney, none quite as disgusting as the girl I met in a stairwell who ate her own period, but pretty fucking close. When I look at her thick neck, I think of a man who works out too much so that he is the best topless pit dancer in the all night gay afterparty, and despite popular belief, that thought doesn’t usually come to mind when I see a chick in a bikini….

When I look at her ass, I can’t help but pull some Good Will Hunting shit and figure that at 27 years 6 Months old, she’s been alive for over 10,000 days, on average she probably has taken at least one shit everyday, to balance out the days she’s been constipated, I can only imagine she’s had multiple shit days, and above all that, she’s not known for being the girl with the best diet, so it’s safe to say at least half those shits were vile, you know the kind you walk in on in a public bathroom that make you fucking gag, wondering what the fuck happened to the person who made this mess and trying to decide whether or not you should try to find him and take him to the hospital because it is the right thing to fuckin’ do.

When I look at her pussy, I can’t help but remember K-Fed and his potent sperm, the pregnancy, the 2 babies, the tampon string, the period stained clothes, the sweating, the pussy shot, the period of time where she didn’t wash and the times my wife had a yeast infection and I’d go down on her, only to come up coughing and puking insisting she sort her Britney Spears Pussy Out….because Britney Spears became a synonymn for vile fuckin’ cunt…..

So no matter how hot Britney may look in a bikini, or how much she’s cleaned herself up, I just can’t bring myself to lovin’ her unconditionally, cuz she’s got too much baggage I just can’t forget about…

Here she is in a pink bikini…..cuz I guess her rancid cunt burnt a hole in the other one….She’s at the Ritz Carlton…I guess that means she’s classy….or at least classy enough to not walk around with her pussy lips exposed…

Posted in:Bikini|Britney Spears