DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Sydney Sweeney Gives a Booty Show of the Day

Christina Aguilera Whorin’ Old Lady of the Day

Christina Milian Posing with Produce of the Day

Aurelie Dupont is the Instagram Of The Day

Britney Spears Returns With Weird Dancing of the Day

2009

Jun

Halle Berry Tits on Set for Some Commercial of the Day

11 Comments »

Halle Berry is filming a commercial and between takes on that commercial, she took some time to adjust her top and the paparazzi were there to snap off a shot. You can’t see shit, but you know that under that dress and under that bra are a great set of tits like you’ve never seen a fucking tit, even though you’ve seen her tit in movies over and over again.

The fact that I am posting this…makes me feel like a fucking loser…Like someone who gets excited about this kind of thing…which is a nice reminder…that I am a fucking loser….

Posted in:Halle Berry|Tits

2009

Jun

Perez Hilton gets Paid to Put Vagina on his Site of the Day

7 Comments »

I don’t understand how Perez Hilton can post a picture of Lindsay Lohan’s vagina, make medical references to it, stating it has a wart/herpe on it, like he isn’t a faggot who has never seen a vagina and still gets advertisers, mainstream appeal, featured on TV shows and be considered a safe for work media outlet that makes millions a year.

I refuse to censor pictures of tits, and advertisers call me a fucking porn site. I tell the advertisers I try to get, like movie companies, record companies, video game companies, that if people come to my site to jerk off, they’ve got serious fuckin issues and are the same people who can get off on the bus to random girls showing a little too much leg or cleavage and the whole thing is fucking bullshit.

That said, here’s Lohan flashing some vagina lip, I figure the picture is too small to tell what the goods actually look like and I’d rather lay her out in a nicer setting and give her vagina the opportunity to perform, instead of this surprise attack, because this is an obscure pussy slip but I want to see a pussy performance, with fireworks and all….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Vagina Flash

2009

Jun

Beth Ditto and Her Big Hungry Titties of the Day

22 Comments »

It always amazes me when I meet dudes who like fat chicks. The other day I was out with a friend and he was going off about how hot this fat chick was, talking about her massive tits like they were a gift from fucking god, even though she was sitting with an actual hot chick. I didn’t understand what the fuck was wrong with him, because I didn’t even notice the fat chick, sure maybe my standards are unrealistic and I’d rather jerk off to hot chicks than fuck ugly chicks.

Sure, I am married to a fat chick, I live with a fat chick, I try to share a bed with a fat chick every night, because she takes up the majority of the fucking bed, and that just puts me in a better position to confirm that fat chicks are fuckin’ garbage.

Either way, he explained that he liked fat chicks, not because he’s trying to stay hip hop and in touch with his black friends, but because they look loyal, like a girl who would try to carry your grocery bags for you, even if it is fueled by the sheer excitement of getting at those bags and eating all the fucking food, and they love suckin’ dick.

So instead of hating on pig lookin’ bitches, I guess we should celebrate, because some of you motherfuckers like fat chicks, mainly because they are less work than hot chicks, but also because you have no self-esteem and hate your life, at least that’s the reason why I am married to a fat chick.

Here’s Beth Ditto showing off her fat tits in some see through lookin something that I am trying my best not to look at…

Posted in:Beth Ditto|Tits

2009

Jun

Eva Longoria on Vacation With Her Husband of the Day

6 Comments »

I am like my black friend who I used to go to the stripclub with who would look at the black strippers with anger and disgrace. He’d be so ashamed that they would lower themselves to dance on stage for the likes of me that as they’d walk onto stage he’d shake his head is disapproval and turn his back to them. If they came to lure him into a lap dance, he’d throw their arms off him and ask them why the fuck they had to lower themselves to this shit, to being a common fucking whore, and he’d fuckin’ lecture them, and they’d take it until they started crying and would run backstage, only to get us kicked out.

A Mexican American woman is supposed to be making fucking babies, working as a cleaning lady on the side to help her husband barely make fucking rent in the Mexican ghetto they live in. They are not supposed to be parading around yachts, in bikinis, like a common fucking whore for their basketball playing black husbands. She’s a rebeling against her calling and I guess that’s why her ass looks like she’s already had 8 kids.

Posted in:Eva Longoria|Vacation

2009

Jun

Tila Tequila’s Bikini Cry For Attention of the Day

2 Comments »

It is kind of funny how simple the world is for a female celebrity. All she has to do is get into a bikini and all the idiot dudes start clicking, giving them the attention they want.

It is a lot like the local party slut with her tits busting out of her low cut top, so that everyone in the bar looks her way, because the world isn’t that complicated, men like pussy and pussy that advertises itself is more interesting to look at than pussy in a fucking turtleneck sweater, girls who seem like they’d put out, seem like less work than girls who keep shit classy.

So even if you just plan on treating that pussy like the slut that it is and never plan on bringing it out in public with you or to meet your mother, or even if you just stand on the sidelines appreciating the show, because you aren’t down with HIV, you can appreciate that Daddy issues don’t seem to be such a bad thing, sure the pussy gets ravaged more than the non-Daddy issue pussy, but in their quest for attention, they end up money makin’ and a hell of a lot more opportunity lands on their numerous abortion lap.

That’s not to say girls in bikini are slutty, but it is to say that girls who pose in bikinis for any attention they can didn’t get enough attention from their dads and have just figured out the marketing mystery to have people notice them and their fake tits.

Posted in:Bikini|Tila Tequila

2009

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

11 Comments »

I’ve been drinking all night – or at least for the last 5 hours and I am feeling pretty dizzy. I tried to convince a fat chick to come home with me to compare her fat gut with my wife’s while I jerk my limp dick, she wasn’t down and her husband was totally not impressed with my behavior. Some people are too fuckin’ serious. I prefer the girl I met earlier when I was more sober who was lookin for weed cuz she was in town on vacation and it is the only way she can take her husband’s huge cock, but only because I knew she put out and into cock, while the fat chick was just fixated on the bar nuts. Bowl after fucking bowl of bar nuts. Not that you care…..

Here’s my Fan Mail of the Day….It’s a long one but worth reading….

From Sarah Stroud
Subject regarding your blogs on lady gaga

First off, what the fuck is your problem? Do you feel the need to be a complete dick with your shitty comments about Lady Gaga, or are you just an asshole to everyone??

I think it is fucking hilarious that you can sit there and call Gaga an attention seeking whore and tranny when she is doing what every other icon has done. Shook the fashion world with her groundbreaking outfits you call “space wear”. Who cares what you think, because whether you like it or not, she’s getting publicity, fame, and more money and love then you’ll ever have in your lonely life. And then you talk shit about Perez because he blogs about celebs and most of it is lies and bashing. LOOK THE FUCK IN THE MIRROR. you are doing the same thing you sick fuck.

dont fail to realize that these celebs your talking about are real fucking people. better people than you. the scum of the earth. your just a lowlife sitting on the computer talking shit while these stars are out there making a name for themselves. honestly, the way you talk about lady gaga is disgusting. you tear her apart and criticize everything about her. shes a fucking human being. shes beautiful and the truth is, you’ll never be anything to her, so stop trying to get attention from being a stupid dick.

Your site is a laughing stock and a disgrace. its shit compared to even perez’s site.

so FUCK YOU.

I guess she’s a Lady Gaga fan….

Follow Me on Twitter – I’m Becoming a Phenomenom
http://twitter.com/drunkstepfather

Here are the rest of my stepLINKS motherfuckers…..

Because We All Need Something To Get Us Through the Week
GO

Come On, I Know You Wanna Motorboat That Shit
GO

Phone Sex Pranks – Sex Robots
GO

The 9 Sexiest Spanish Woman
GO

Somebody Gets Hurt in the Mosh Pit, Go Figure
GO

Jennifer Ellison is Topless and Doing What She Was Born to Do
GO

When a Girl Juggles Melons
GO

Evan Rachel Wood Steps Up Her Penis Game Just a Tad
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Okay I Know We Shouldn’t Be Laughing AT This, Cause Thia is a Cancer
Kid or Something But I Just Can’t Fucking Help Myself
GO

The Dark Side of Vanilla – White People’s Problems
GO

Bikini Lotion Rub Down
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

This Jon and Kate Shit is Just Out of Fucking Hand
GO

Mellissa Joan Hart is a Caring, Thoughtful Human Being
GO

Elis’s Granddaughter is a Slut and I Like It
GO

Lily Allen Nip Slip
GO

And Here is Video Proof That Joe Jonas is a Little Fag
GO

Megan Fox is an Attentiobn Whore. Surprised?
GO

Holly Madison Loves the Wizard of Oz
GO

Adriana Lima and Isabeli Fontana
GO

Spencer and Heidi Are Pathetic
GO

Heidi Honey is Topless
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Rehab in Serbia
GO

Lexy Rides the Sybian
GO

Nancy Patton Takes that Blue Corset Off
GO

You Broke What Exactly?
GO

Don’t Look Down!
GO

Who Is Malin Akerman And Why Have I Not Beat Off to Her Yet?
GO

Crazy Versus Cunty
GO

Lauren Pope and Friends Topless
GO

Ultra Sexy in the Outdoors
GO

Meet Ferrari, She’s Take You For a Ride
GO

I’d Totally Hate Fuck Spencer Pratt’s Little Sister
GO

Turkish Talkshow Beatdown
GO

Was Jimi Hendrix Murdered?
GO

I May Be Sticking My Penis in Angelina Jolie Sooner Than I Thought!
GO

MEGA MAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!
GO

White Trash Family Fun
GO

There’s Another Cyrus Sister on the Loose
GO

Six Hot Babes!
GO

Wedding Idiots Learn the Truth About Silly String
GO

The World’s Largest Bodypaint Soccer Babe Bonanza
GO

Meat Section Human Trafficking Advertising
GO

Marilyn Manson is Dating Pornstar Stoya cuz Her Pussy is As Fresh as Death
GO

Barbie Goes to Vegas
GO

Some Bitches Exploiting Themselves for a Shitty Job By Rockin’ Matching Bikinis
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

Jun

Kat Von D is Dirty Lookin’ of the Day

23 Comments »

If you are into ugly girls and scat porn, because the two kind of go hand in hand, since it’s rare to find a hot chick willing to eat shit for a bit of money, they usually prefer doing regular porn, or even regular jobs, and it takes a real special fucking person to fuck with poo, then you’ll love these picture of Kat Von D, cuz her body looks like she’s been rolling in feces the last few years, or at least long enough for the shit to stain, and she’s a pretty ugly girl, even when she tries to dress all fancy-like in her sexy black silky lingerie lookin slip….an outfit she may want to let some dude pay her to shit on while she’s wearing it, you know to bring this post full circle.

Posted in:Dirty|Kat Von D

2009

Jun

Some Rihanna’s Bra and Stomach Pictures of the Day

11 Comments »

< Rihanna is out on the scene and showing off her bra and stomach. Maybe she's desperate for male attention, you know after her one true love beat the shit out of her for not giving him a blowjob, forcing her to release nude pictures of herself, hoping to get someone to bite, but settling with that kid in a wheelchair from Degrassi who is now a famous rapper, but who still can't get it up because he is paralyzed from the waste down, leaving her sexually frustrated and alone, forcing her to seduce people like me via paparazzi pictures, and despite the stupid hair, I think she's amazing, and that is partially why I've been watching that Kanye Paranoid video over and over and over and over, the other reason's got to do with boredom, OCD and a broken computer that for some reason keeps opening the file and playing it like a sign from god telling me to masturbate to it, since I haven't masturbated to a music video since the fucking 90s and it's time to connect with where I came from as to not lose myself. If you know what I mean.

Posted in:Bra|Rihanna|Stomach

2009

Jun

Hilary Duff is a Porker of the Day

23 Comments »

It’s no secret that Hilary Duff is gaining weight. She’s not that little teen popstar she once was. She’s a fuckin’ lady and she’s filling out like a party girl who drops out of the scene, quits the rave drugs, and gets a 9 to 5 job, boyfriend and a seriously love for baking. I hear Hilary only did it cuz she needed the padding for all the hockey gangbangs her boyfriend puts her through, but I think that just may be a bad joke I’ve got on repeat everytime I do a Hilary Duff post.

Posted in:Fat|Hilary Duff

2009

Jun

New Young British Lesbian Couple of the Day

2 Comments »

Here is a post you really won’t give a fuck about, but I accidentally downloaded the pictures thinking they were of some random UK bitch actually getting caught dyking out, but instead I got some lesbian tree huggin’ date in the fuckin’ park. The blonde one who looks like she is into motorcycles, combat boots, ripping off dicks because her mother died of a heroin overdose because of penis, is named Pixie Geldof, and there’s no real shocker that she’s into eating cunt. The other one is some aspiring song writer, who is Anne Heche-ing this bitch because she knows her dad has all kinds of ins in the record industry, but when you look like Pixie, you might as well use any bargaining chip you have, even if it is false promises of hook ups from your dad.

The the fact that I know all this, depresses me, but not as much as the fact that I just made this totally useless fucking post. I mean useless unless you think teenage girls rubbing each other from head to toe with their tongues, you know their naked bodies pushed up against each other in the girl’s locker room at the Gym before swimming class, or yoga class or pretty much any fuckin class, or on a field day, or even in a bar or bar bathroom, or pretty much anywhere and under any circumstance, even if panties are left on is hot, like I do.

Posted in:Lesbian|Pixie Geldof|Remi