I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

28

May

Some Lindsay Lohan in Leggings of the Day

I like to think that Lindsay Lohan is a really good friend of mine. Sure I’ve never met her, I’ve never really spoke to her, my only relationship with her is when I left some creepy messages on a voicemail that someone claimed was hers, but she is the person who comes to me in my dreams, wearing nothing but a sheer top, like some kind of guardian angel who will one day carry me away to a better place and I guess it could all stem from my imagination, maybe from the hard drug use, but I really think it’s something bigger, it gives me hope…a hope that one day lost lovers can be reunited a few months after a public break-up, as she constantly runs back to Samantha Ronson’s house, not that I ever think she was dating her, I mean how could she commit to someone while constantly coming to me in my motherfuckin dreams.

Sidenote, I am dying on the inside today

And with a costume change….

Posted in:Leggings|Lindsay Lohan

2009

28

May

Help Me by Voting for Kayden Kross of the Day

I need your help. Kayden Kross is my future pornstar wife and I told her that I would help her win this competition. If she does she has to fly me down to Vegas and officially marry me while we stream the shit.

So she’s 10,000 votes behind. All you have to do is click her fucking name. I know there’s at least 10,000 of you out there willing to help me and by 10,000, I mean 1.

Here’s the Link to Vote for Kayden Kross and her Great Ass
GO

Posted in:Kayden Kross|Vote

2009

28

May

Reese Witherspoon Practices Softball for a Movie Not For Lesbianism of the Day

I wonder if Reese Witherspoon took her role in Legally Blonde as seriously as she is for this softball movie, where she, like other lesbians I know, is training hard.

I don’t really get the appeal of softball. There’s a league that plays near my house and sometimes I walk by them and see if there is any decent pussy or asses, usually there isn’t. One of the teams is a group of bull dykes and the other one I saw was a group of awkward, non-athletic jewish women who I guess are unmarried career girls, who are done with college and trying to find ways to entertain themselves and stay connected with old friends, and the whole thing is pretty fucking boring to watch, so I assume a movie on the shit, starring Academy Award winning Reese Witherspoon is going to fuckin suck.

Here she is practicing.

Posted in:Reese Witherspoon|Softball

2009

28

May

Fergie’s Got France in her Pants of the Day

I got in a race war last night. I was drunk at a bar, pretty much alienating everyone that crossed paths with me while progressively drinking harder and harder and I don’t think I pissed anyone off officially, but when I left at the end of the night, a group of hispanic dudes were screaming at the bouncer, calling him a ni**er and I guess I took offense, despite the world thinking I am racist, I really find that kind of behavior unacceptable. So I probably said something that triggered something in one of the dudes, who happened to not be hispanic, but brown, and as soon as I stepped onto the sidewalk he fuckin’ bitch slapped me full force, with a running fuckin’ start and got be right on my ear. The bouncers who I know made me go back inside and before I did, I kept asking him if he was going to make me eat out his vagina and shit like that. My ear is blocked and ringing. I am hungover and the whole thing was fuckin’ ridiculous, but not as ridiculous as Fergie’s ass in these jeans.

Posted in:Fergie|France|Pants

2009

28

May

Commuters in their Bathing Suits of the Day

Some stunt was coordinated over a week ago where people went to work in their bikinis, I realize that I am slow on this shit, but I don’t really stay on top of promotional stunts or weird internet stunts in cities I don’t live in, but I guess I should, because seeing everyday girls in their bikinis, in the middle of the city, is pretty fucking great, especially since I am the kind of guy who is all strippered out, and appreciate seeing real life girls who aren’t paid to get naked, half naked, it’s a lot more erotic, and here’s the video while I re-hydrate.

Posted in:Bikini|Public

2009

27

May

stepLINKS of the Day

My life is complicated, like that Avril Lavigne song only way less commercially successful, but much more charming. That’s what I like to believe.

I’ve spent the last 3 hours trying to seduce girls promising them fame, unfortunately none of them have ever heard of me or my site.

I guess none of that is really as big of a deal as the fact that I have a very small penis.

My life really isn’t complicated at all, if anything it’s just a very long, drawn out, boring joke and here are my stepLINKS.

Sluts Who Who Do What You Want, When You Want
GO

Michael Lohan Threatened to Kill His Fiancee
GO

Captain Kirk’s Back Rub
GO

The 9 Sexiest Women From The Bronx
GO

When Mothers Start Internetting
GO

You Are Gonna Love Katie Cassidy
GO

When Nerds Battle
GO

Avril Lavigne Must Be Half Retarded
GO

7 Things You Say While Assembling Something From Ikea
GO

George Lucs Rap Attack?
GO

Legs, Cleavage, Beer, & A Green Screen Studio
GO

Striptese of the Day
GO

Simona Halep Wants Breast Reduction, Tears Shed Across Globe – PICS
GO

Here’s a Dog That is Smrter, Fitter and In Better Shape Than You Are
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Justin Gaston is Retarded o Has Down Syndrome or Something
GO

They Want to Lick Your Lollipop and By Lollipop They Mean COCK
GO

Remember Marla Maples? Maybe Her Nipples Will Jog Your Memory
GO

Drew Barrymore Loves Gay Marriage
GO

Josh Brolin is a Dirty Whore
GO

Britney Spears May Illegally Buy a Black Baby, Since She is Taking Parenting Advice From Madonna
GO

Katy Perry FHM Photoshoot Video
GO

TV Upskirt Compilation
GO

A Bored Camera Man Means Sexy Video For Us
GO

Honestly Lady Gaga, Shut the Fuck Up
GO

Liquor Store Tit Flash
hp?http://www.wtfpeople.com/video/40428/crazy-girl-flashes-her-tits-at-a-liquor-store”target=”_blank”rel=”nofollow”> GO

Aria Giovanni and Tera Patrick Get It On
GO

Emily Scott Does Ralph Magazine
GO

Now That’s a Mighty Fine Ass, Mighty Fine Indeed
GO

Megan Fox is Lookin Good On The Set of Her Photoshoot
GO

Lily llen Hates Susan Boyle
GO

Remember Jenn Jameson Before All The Surgery?
GO

Eve Shows Off the Beef
GO

Ennie is Naked
GO

Jailbail of the Day
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Lanni Barbie is Busty
GO

American Idol Was Totally Fucking Rigged
GO

Holy Fuck I Love 80’s Fitness Shit
GO

Her Pussy Will Eat You Alive
GO

Mike Tyson’s 4 Year Old Daughter is Dead
GO

Do It Like This
GO

The Science Behind Being a Perv
GO

Drunken Lake Havasu Party Girls: Memorial Day Edition
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

27

May

Rihanna is Fucking Hot in Kanye’s New Video of the Day

Here’s Kanye’s video that hit yesterday featuring Rihanna in her fuckin’ lingerie looking pretty fuckin’ amazing. I think I love her.

Posted in:Kanye West|Paranoid|Rihanna

2009

27

May

Ashley Tisdale’s Legs Don’t Fool Me Into Thinkin She’s Not Ugly of the Day

No matter how much work this Tisdale chick gets done to herself, she keeps stayin’ ugly. I don’t really understand it but it reminds me of a conversation I had earlier today, when a girl was telling me about her boyfriend’s band that was called The Cockroaches, where I responded “How cute, he named it after you”, only I was just trying to be funny with her, while I actually think that shit applies to Tisdale, because she is a fucking cockroach of a girl who just doesn’t go away, like the cockroaches in my shitty apartment, depsite not really having much purpose in being there, but to just annoy the fuck out of me. Not that I really understand why I have this kind of emotionaly instability when it comes to this bitch, but I do and that concludes the Ashley Tisdale ugly watch of the day.

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Legs

2009

27

May

Megan Fox Does a Photoshoot of the Day

I met my very own Megan Fox earlier today. She was this hot blonde chick who asked me for a lighter on the street randomly. I didn’t have a lighter because I don’t smoke, so I said no, but then I remembered I don’t change my pants and grabbed some matches the other week at a restaurant, so I called her back saying I had matches, only to realize that I didn’t. I apologized. She said I got her hopes up. I said “Yeah, I really fucked you” she walked away creeped the fuck out and I screamed after her saying “I’m going to write about this on Craiglist misconnections”. I am pretty sure she felt the love.

Here’s Megan Fox doing some photoshoot. My favorite part of it are her white pants because of the suspense that comes with wearing white pants – will she get a surprise period or not – only time will tell – amazing.

Posted in:Megan Fox|Photoshoot

2009

27

May

Gabriel “Gabby” Agbonlahor’s Ugly Girlfriend on the Beach of the Day

This is some “footballer” and by “footballer” I mean pro soccer player in Europe, I just like to pretend I know what’s going on, using big words to sound worldly because it impresses the ladies. Even though I know the white and black ball is called a fucking soccer ball and not a fucking football. I also know the black and white player named Gabriel Agbonlahor’s may have white features, but likes to keep his taste in women Nigerian as fuck, because this pig in a bikini is what he’s fucking, when he could be getting with much better lookin’ soccer groupie whores like his other budies, because these asshoels are considered to be famous over there and everyone knows famous guys can land some pretty prime girls, especially when their list of standards don’t have one line item that reads “White”.

Yeah – I edited him out of the pictures, but you can google the shit to see what he looks like.

So I guess without him in the pictures this is just some bitch in a green bikini.

After the Cameron Diaz pics, I guess green bikinis are in this season.

Maybe I should get one and try to join in one of the charity car washes the high school kids organize by my house.

I am always willing to get wet for charitable causes.

Especially when it involves hanging with teenage girls.

I should probably edit that last line out.

It may be a “red flag” for the FBI.

It may ruin my fuckin’ master plan.

Oh well.

Posted in:Bikini|Gabriel "Gabby" Agbonlahor