I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

16

May

stepLINKS of the Day

So I was watching The View in McDonald’s and Sheri/The new Star Jones was talking about heaven. She said something about how she will be reunited with all o her babies that she had aborted and I found the whole thing a little awkward.

So I went to twitter and wrote to her:

SherriEShepherd talking about seeing her abortions in heaven is pretty fucking awkward real talk @barbarajwalters

She answered me, I guess I’ve made it. The View, my daily masturbation material reached out and messaged me.

SherriEShepherdnot awkward for me

Jerking of to her tits in McDonald’s bathroom is going to be a lot more satisfying, I guess I can quit the site now, before I do, here are my stepLINKS

Hey Ladies….
GO

Sean Penn is Totally Fucking Natalie Portman
GO

Look at Jennifer Lopez’s Tits Get Smaller….
GO

How Do I Get a Pizza Vending Machine in My Living Room?
GO

Cassies Hottest Pics Ever
GO

I’d Leave My Wife to If She Wore One of These Fucking Things
GO

Amanda Bynes in a Short Dress is a Nice Way to Round Off the Week
GO

Being a GILF is a Full Time Job
GO

Pam Anderson Takes Her Diseased Ass Some Place or Another
GO

Autumn Reeser is a Breath of Fresh Air
GO

Because You ARe a Loser Virgin Who Loves All Things Star Trek
GO

Proof That Prayer Doesn’t Work
GO

Blonde Ambition Striptease of the Day
GO

Ashley Simpson is Most Probably Knocked Up Again…Gross
GO

Jesus Christ Tyra Banks is Fucking Scary
GO

I Love You Eva Mendes
GO

WHy Hello Megan Goods Nipple
GO

I Would Totally Bang Vanessa Hudgens
GO

Call ME Crazy But I Am Looking at Jennifer Love Hewitt and I Actually Don’t Want to Vomit
GO

THEY ARE MAKING ANOTHER HANNIBAL MOVIE YESSSS!!
GO

A Lingerie Show Will Always Make a Bad Day Better
GO

Milly Morris is On the Floor
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Bungee Jump Fail
GO

Holy Shit I Gotta Take a Trip to Spain Now?
GO

Sophia Santi Will Blow Your Mind
GO

When Daddy Got Pranked on the Crapper
GO

Come On Now, We All Get the Shits On Time or Another
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Becky and Mel Get It On
GO

Iveta is Nude in Public
GO

There’s No Saving Bruce Jenners Face
GO

Georgia is On My Mind
GO

I’d Totally Throw It In Nikki Reed
GO

Uhhhhh….Hmmmmm
GO

The 17 Sexiest Suicide Girls
GO

Anya in the Buff
GO

Mischa Barton is Topless
GO

What the Fuck is Happening in Our World’s School Systems
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

Adam Carolla & Jay Leno Are Having a Party
GO

Now There’s a Babe I’d Like to End My Week With
GO

Finger Break Dancer is Second Only to Finger Banging
GO

Cowgirl Cameltoe I’d Like to Ride into the Sunset…and By Ride into the Sunset I mean Fuck Up the Ass…Because She May Be a Man
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

15

May

Tara Reid in Cannes of the Day

Tara Reid is still alive. Just a heads up.

I feel like death.

Let’s hope this is some Ghost whisperer preminintion shit to rid the world of a cunt like me.

Posted in:Cannes|Tara Reid

2009

15

May

Marisa Miller Cleavage of the Day

Here is some supermodel cleavage, I hear that it’s better cleavage than the slutty teenage girl who works at the dollar store where I get my canned food down the street, but that’s because she’s fat and smells like mothballs and doesn’t really have guys jerking off to her photo spreads, but may have creepy poor guys she meets at work jerking off to her, because lets face it, when you shop at the dollar store, pussy isn’t really falling onto your lap….

Posted in:cleavage|Marisa Miller

2009

15

May

Pamela Anderson Titty of the Day

Here are some Pam Anderson cleavage pics for you in the event you’ve forgotten who she is and haven’t been paying attention to her hanging onto her sex appeal with all she has to offer.

On a sidenote, I started using Purrell as lube when I fuck nasty bitches, you know that hand sanitizer shit, I am testing it as a cure or weapon in this STD war…I think it’s genius. I’ll let you know how it works out for me, ideally with photo evidence, hopefully with my dick still in one-piece, and I don’t mean the bathing suit kind.

Posted in:Pamela Anderson|Titty

2009

15

May

Some Pornstar Protests Nude of the Day

Some pornstar named Laura Perego was in Rome or is from Rome and decided to get political, so she hit up the Embassy of Afghanistan, got naked and protested the whole law allowing men to rape their wives and guarantee sex twice a week, a law that I think I should start protesting in America to instill.

I may not believe in her cause, but I do know that this is the kind of protest I can get down with, you know whores naked and causing ruckus, even if I firmly believe in whores, rape, oppression to women and all those other good things about Afghanistan.

Here are those pics.

Posted in:Pornstar|Protest

2009

15

May

Lindsay Lohan’s Robber is Not Me of the Day

Lohan’s house was robbed, or her alarm went off, or something that involved the police showing up at her house, only to find it messy, and for some reason the media went nuts about that shit, like being a sloppy fucking slob of a girl is that big of a deal. Pretty much every girl I’ve met has been a fucking pig, they never pick up after themselves and expect me to do all the work, and I am not even talking about my wife, who doesn’t even bother washing and smells of rotting fucking pussy.

Either way, I just wanted to clear up that I wasn’t the guy who tried to break into her house, despite my unrequited love for her, because if I had broken in, I would have done it when she was home and forced her into marriage or at least into letting me jerk off on her dirty panties. True story.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Robber

2009

15

May

Jessica Alba Gets Some Tickets of the Day

Oh Shit. Jessica Alba got 2 parking tickets, one was because her meter was up, the other because she was parked too far away from the curb and guess what, she’s gonna have to pay them. A whole 100 fucking dollars at most to the city, like she can’t fucking afford that shit. Tickets are only fun when they happen to people you don’t like, who are down on their luck, who just lost their job, who have maxed out credit cards and have resorted to food stamps and food drives to survive, when it happens to celebrities, it’s boring, they don’t even get inconvenienced enough to take the shit off the windshield and have hired help take care of it. If we really wanted to get a good laugh at Jessica Alba, in some kind of revenge for ruining her body and sex appeal, it’d have to be more hardcore than a couple tickets, I’m talkin’ hit by a bus,or rushed by a stalker, pretty much anything but this….

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Parking Tickets

2009

15

May

Phoebe Price is in Cannes of the Day

I know you don’t care about this bitch, but I accidentally downloaded these pictures of her thinking they were see through, and I never turn down a see through picture, but I was wrong. The truth is that along with Dlisted, I am fascinated with this bitch. Not because of her red pubic hair, a weakness of mine, but because she has never really done anything, but manages to be everywhere, including Cannes. I assume she comes from money and that her trust fund just supports her “acting” career, and I guess none of that really matters.

What does matter is that I was at a fashion show a couple weeks ago for a local college, in efforts of seducing bright eyed young girls into thinking I could help their confused selves find a career now that school was over and they don’t know which way to turn, and I fell in love with a Phoebe Price of my own. Tall, Red and luxurious, but she never answered my Craigslist misconnection, maybe it had to do with the ten bullet points of what I wanted to do with her vagina, but I like blame the Craigslist killer for fuckin’ up my game. Taking responsibility for yourself is a waste of time.

Posted in:Cannes|Phoebe Price

2009

15

May

Jewel’s Threesome of the Day

This is not a very big surprise, not because I pretty much saw it happening the one time I saw Dancing with the Stars, and noticed that Jewel’s rodeo husband was a little uncomfortably into his dancing partner, and that was before they spent hours upon hours pressed up against each other, sweating, pulsating to the beat of the music, his erection in her lycra leotard ass, but because after listening to Jewel’s music, there’s no fucking way she’s not a fucking lesbian. Bitch lived in a car, walked around barefoot, played the accoustic guitar, hugged trees and played with wild animals, you know trying to domesticate them to be her audience before venturing out to LA to make it big. The idea of her being married is more shocking to me than the fact that she’s insisted on adding the dancing partner into their relationship and the whole thing should be motivation for you to marry a dyke.

Posted in:Jewel|Threesome

2009

15

May

Holly Madison in Some Bikini Parade of the Day

Holly Madison is a marketing genius or just a desperate for attention, work, money, exposure or maybe just bored and has a lot of time on her hands.

She hosted the world’s largest pool party, or some bikini parade, or something else that involved average lookin’ chicks getting in bikinis, and accepted the Guinness World Record for it. I guess that’s a great honor for a glorified stripper.

The only record the strippers I know have broken are the standard biggest pussy, most herpes outbreaks in a year, most kids with different fathers, you know shit like that.

I am tired, don’t worry, just warmin’ up.

Posted in:Bikini|Bikini Parade|Holly Madison