Vanessa Hudgens doesn’t inspire me. Facebook does. So this is what I wrote to some girl I don’t know who has her status set to “Spring Break is Amazing, Home Sunday”
i miss you
come home
i miss our late night chats
our movie nights where we cuddle on the couch….
but more importantly – i miss the anal.
She didn’t answer me, just like I’m not going to answer these Vanessa Hudgens pictures, something I am sure she’s used to, you know dating a faggot, where anything she does gets little to no reaction. She can come out with a vibrator and the hottest lingerie and homeboy will ask her to get out of the way of the TV because he’s watching Gossip Girl and she knows not to bother him while Gossip Girl is on….if you know what I mean…and even when shit’s over he only really give her attention when she turns the dildo onto him
I don’t know why I am wasting my time on these Denise Richards pictures, I assume it’s gotta do with how I waste my time on pictures of useless people everyday, it’s a distraction from actually living and having to come to terms with how shit life really is, like seeing Denise Richards on Dancing with the Stars, when I used to think she had so much potential in her life back in that lesbian scene she did with Kevin Bacon, only to end up divorced, cheated on, a failed reality star, hanging on by a fucking thread by doing the one thing that will take her and she’s lookin pretty fit while doin’ it. Good times.
Mel B is lookin’ pretty fit. Yep. That’s really all I have to say about that one. I’ve only got a few hours of sleep in me and my brain is muddy, like her skin color and texture of her Eddie Murphy Baby Mother pussy.
Pam Anderson was out yesterday doing her thing, shaking hands with people, shopping, all with some German reporter, who I guess is some kind of Nazi trying to recruit her into hate crimes, or maybe he’s a smut peddler trying to convince her to let men shit on her while being choked out, you know…German’s and their scat…
Either way, she looks more like a menopausal mom, more bloated and barren than ever, but I figure when it comes to Aryan German Scat Bondage porn, attaching a name like Pam Anderson to it, would really legitimize what they do, making her lack of sex appeal really irrelevant, pretty much like her life work in film and television.
So Lindsay Lohan went out shopping yesterday with her skinny fucking legs. If you’re wondering why I am posting these irrelevant pictures, it’s because I’ve decided to become a documentarian. If you’re wondering what I am trying to document, it is her obvious impending death. I figure I’ll just do it one post at a time eventually hitting the fuckin’ gold.
So in these pictures, you’ll notice that she has a cigarette in her hand. You’d think that the nicotine would constrict her blood vessels and increase her blood pressure enough to put her heart into shock, leading to her last puff being her last breath, but she manages to power through the shit without passing the fuck out and convulsing on the ground. I guess the rumors are true and she is a fucking cockroach…Maybe next time our documentary will conclude, but I’m sure she’s got a few more weeks in her. Stay tuned.
Guess what, Lohan and Ronson flew into the UK last night. Isn’t it exciting knowing that maybe, just maybe, their plane will crash on the flight home, ideally with only one fatality. I’m talking to you Lohan, or she could always just stay overseas, but I don’t see much fun in that, unless she got kidnapped by Terrorists and left in the desert when they realized her vagina was not good enough to gang rape, you know with all the open sores, forcing them to go back to fuck their camels, and not worth the ransom money they thought she was worth, you know since their a solid 5 years behind when it comes to popculture there.
Kate Moss is still hot enough for me and still holds a special place in my heart even if she looks like a haggard cocaine party slut and here she is wearing a pair of fishnets.
I am not just saying she’s in fishnets to be vulgar, you know to be like anything that gets that close to that pussy automatically earns the word Fish in front of it, like Fishskirt, Fishpants, Fishthong, Fishdick, you know because her pussy smells like an Aquarium the day they have to feed the Dolphins/Sea Lions/Whales hundreds of pounds of dead rotting fish, I am saying that because that’s what they’re fucking called, asshole.
I understand why the Jonas brother’s are saving themselves for marriage. When you date things that look like this, jerking off to anything is better than any physical contact with them. Maybe it’s protective measures for them to not fall off the virgin wagon, but I always thought the Jonas brother’s were faggots, but now I am convinced that they are, not because of their contrived web of lies and innate ability to shake their bom-boms or sing really gay songs, but because only a gay dude would choose this pussy out of a lineup of pussy to be his cover-up pussy, since he chose her cuz she likes shopping and talking about boys and not because she’s something anyone would want to fuck.
I know a guy at The Insider, it’s some celebrity gossip TV show like Access Hollywood and Entertainment Tonight and I asked him to leak these Rihanna’s Bikini pictures. They are of her recovery trip to Mexico, where she got some sun, showed off her body, made me cum, because I guess Chris Brown didn’t beat her properly, which is probably the reason she won’t press charges, will go back to him, and this whole incident will be swept under the rug like it should be. I am a firm believer that if you beat your wife, keep that shit to yourself, and keep her scared enough to keep her mouth shut. Ya know what I mean…
So I’ve been saying that everything about Lady Gaga reminds me of some kind of tranny. Her electro pop music that I hate, but is a hit in the gayest of dance clubs, her obsession with sex, the fact that she dresses like an idiot and without pants and her broken down weak chinned masculine face all scream “Man trying to be a cartoon version of a chick”.
So I’ve been waiting for the day that she got too drunk, danced too intense leading to a cock slip, or testicle slip or massive hacked off stump from a night on too much acid slip, or an oversized clit that comes with hormone therapy slip, or whatever the fuck she has going on in her genitals cuz we can’t tell her gender slip, you know to slowly sneak out of the leotard to put an end to all her fucking lies, since she pretty much started.
I was expecting this to happen after her shit started to falter, you know when the rest of the world realized she was full of shit and that she’s not worth listening to, you know as a hanging on to the glory kind of publicity stunt she was keeping in her back pocket for when it was needed down the road, and not at the height of her popularity, but I guess the glamorous fame she’s been dying for all her life has made her overlook some key details when she was trying to secure her mangina in its home tucked and taped between her thighs….
Sure it could be fabric bunching up, but where’s the fun in that? So I’m sticking with cock bulge.
Here’s some whore who showed up to hang with GAGA and Her Cock….
I am over making fun of DJ AM, he does his thing, people like him, he makes lot lots money and I don’t really care anymore, and never really did, it was just an easy thing to make fun of but now I’m bored of it, so instead of focusing on him, calling him Gayer than Bicycle Shorts, calling him a Bar Mitzvah Dj and all the other shit I’ve done so many times before, I’d like take my focus onto his new girlfriend.
She is an American Apparel model, that means she is not a real model. For the most part the girls in American Apparel ads are just American Apparel store workers who crave attention and think they are hotter than they actually are and take the billboards and ads that get published to heart, giving them actual proof of how hot they already thought they are.
What they don’t know is the Dov Charney, the guy who takes the pictures of the girls in the ads and the founder of the company is just a pervert who likes all girls, especially when they are young and free, and willing to do whatever it takes to be in the next campaign.
Now, I’ve got nothing against any of that, girl wants attention, gets naked for her boss, he gives her the exposure her ego wants and everyone’s happy, but I do get annoyed when these kinds of girls think they are anything more than attention whores who can’t be real models.
So seeing this girl pretend to hate that the paparazzi are interrupting her life, that they are annoying and that they don’t deserve to see her face after a quiet night standing next to her celebrity DJ boyfriend as he worked, pisses me off, because it’s a lie.
She is dating AM because he is willing to date her. She is dating him because she wants the good life, the escape from being an American Apparel cashier and maybe, just maybe, people will notice her and give her work that feels as gratifying as the free photoshoot she did half naked for her boss last year. Whore.
