I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

29

Jan

Ashton Kutcher is a Little Bitch of the Day

Ashton Kutcher made and released this video taken at 7:30 in the morning complaining about his neighbor who is building a house right outside his house and who starts construction at 7 am everyday. So Ashton is doing what any real man would do and is making videos for his lawyer to build a case against the guy and teach him a real fuckin’ lesson about building a fucking house at 7 in the morning.

I find the whole thing funny. I mean first of all, it’s easier to break legs than to send lawyers letters. Second of all, you’re not drinking enough if can hear anything at 7 am, when I drink, I black the fuck out around 5 am and hear nothing until at least 11. I’m talking anything, houses have burned down next door, people have been shot, and I’ve slept through it like a baby. Lastly, we’d all be annoyed with 7 am construction, I am sure we’d want to kill our neighbors, but I doubt we’d make a little video and put it on the internet for the world to see how good we are at being little whiney bitches.

I thought this whole thing was funny.

Posted in:Ashton Kutcher|Baby

2009

29

Jan

Shia LaBeouf Defends His Mom of the Day

So now that Shia LeBeouf’s lost his license, he does what any man would do, and gets his mom to drive him around like he’s a little school girl with overbearing parents who fear of her getting abducted.

I love that he gets protective of his troll mother and says something like:

Hey Don’t Mess Around, My Mom’s Got a Bad Knee, Dog.

I wonder if that knee accident happened from sucking off whoever gave this little asshole his break.

At least his career hasn’t got to their head as they drive away in her Scion, the poor man’s Range Rover. Maybe dude should spent the money he budgeted for his mom’s new car on lawyers so he had to get her a car that looks like it belongs as part of a circus act, which makes sense now that I’ve seen what she looks like.

I know, who cares about this piece of shit and why the hell am I posting it. I’ve really got no excuse, I’m just gonna run with it anyway though.

Posted in:Mom|Shia LeBeouf

2009

29

Jan

Jessica Simpson is Fat and Everybody Cares of the Day

Jessica Simpson is fat and everybody cares for some reason. You can’t argue that she’s not fat no matter how hard your little activist fingers type. All I know is that I wish I got that kind of attention when I started on this path to heart disease, high blood pressure and premature death. I am pretty jealous of the love all these really famous people like her sister and obese Kim Kardashian coming out to root for her. Jessica Simpson hasn’t got this much attention since she cleared out the desert tray at the all you can eat buffet, oh no, that was my wife, but you get the idea, I’m sure Jessica Simpson got her fair share of fat habits, like talking about what she’s going to eat the next day while lying in bed at night, or eating rolls of cookie dough while crying about how her younger sister had a kid before she did and her younger sister’s a fucking lesbian married to a woman or whatever else us fat people do. I just don’t get why no one’s announced that she’s pregnant yet. You know a little hole in the condom, missed birth control pill pregnancy planning to get what she feels she deserves, a baby of her own. I guess we’ll just have to wait for the shotgun wedding for that one, because that is God’s way and good ol’ Christian girls take God’s way pretty fuckin serious.

Here are some pics of her reveling in the excitement of the new found publicity.

Posted in:Fat|Jessica Simpson

2009

29

Jan

Mary Cary And Her Tits of the Day

I shouldn’t bother giving this bitch more attention than her daddy issues have made her crave enough to go into porn, to run for governor and to get fake tits to make it all possible because with a face like that, it was really the only option, not that guys really care about what porn chicks look like, they pretty much fall for how dirty the bitch gets and the fact that she’s naked and willing, looks are pretty much a secondary issue, so instead of writing about her, I’ll just post this NSFW link of Mary Cary At Various Work Related Events… , if you know what I mean.

Posted in:Mary Cary|Tits

2009

29

Jan

Lady Gaga is So Fucking Ugly She Can’t Be Human of the Day

I guess we shouldn’t hate Lady Gaga, considering the reason Lady Gaga wears sunglasses is because she’s heinous (H’anus) and she knows it.

She’s on this cover this dodgy mutant weird lookin’face as much as she fucking can because she knows that only serious horny perverts and horror movie make-up artists can really get inspired by it. Even her parents try to convince her to cover her mug up, and give each other high fives when she turns down attending family functions, because it makes the people around them judge them, wondering what the hell they did wrong, and they rather keep things out of sight and out of mind.

So I don’t hate the fact that she looks like she’s trying to be glamorous in these pics, even though I normally really hate chicks in sunglasses at night or inside, with some obnoxious front, because I approve that this time the bitch is doing it because it’s saving us from having to look at her disgusting face in its entirety, next time around she should try a ski mask…or maybe she should try to stay home, or even suicide, I think it’ll be a good look for her…one I could really get used to.

The only fame she really ever deserved was winning first prize as pig of the year at the county fair, or maybe as a prize winner at some genetic disorder clinic’s nation wide search for stories that inspire for beating all odds by living a normal life without letting her face disability get in the way. Or even getting some press on afternoon talk shows for being a product of incest, or as someone in a news segment who lived next to a toxic waste dumpsite for a couple of decades, drinking and showering in the radioactive water never really getting why parts of her body were falling off, or even as the spokesperson for safety in the workplace after surviving a mutilating farm equipment accident that we’d all get to see on some commercials. She does not deserve what she’s got and I hope it ends.

Posted in:Lady Gaga|Ugly

2009

29

Jan

Paris Hilton and her Hard Nipples of the Day

Sure Paris Hilton having hard nipples isn’t hot, because she’s a cold bitch who is dead to me. But these girls talking about the cause of their hard nipples is porn to me.

That’s all I have to say about this, but I guess you could write your STD jokes in the comments because that’s never been done before….

Posted in:Nipples|Paris Hilton

2009

29

Jan

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is Pregnant Again of the Day

My neighbor just knocked on my door announcing that the ugly pussy on The View, not my sex Goddesses with a penis, Whoopi Goldberg or the other hotness that are Joy and Barbara who make up many of my sexual fantasies, is pregnant for the third time. This bitch is one of those religious types you see around who is constantly making fucking babies.

I thought she was just getting over the last pregnancy. How does a uterus handle that kind of abuse? Why the fuck is she so fertile? Is she trying to save her marriage or is she trying to lock her football husband down because she’s tired of him running around behind her back and thinks this is the way? Why doesn’t she take the load on her fucking face? Is this a tax write off, or maybe just a good reason to get paid leave from work when she needs a vacation…Does she realize what three pregnancies will do to her sex appeal/tits and pussy? What about the baggage it presents when she’s out shopping for a new husband when this one peaces the fuck out. It’s just fucking insanity, the world is overpopulated as is and her bringing more into this dying world to create garbage and mooch off our resources just shows how greedy and self absorbed she is. I think two kids was enough, give it a fucking rest, sure it’s appropriate for a cunt to make babies, but that doesn’t mean the whole thing isn’t disgusting.

That said, congrats, Elizabeth, may this pregnancy bring joy and happiness to your already thriving family, I expect you to document the entire delivery and sell the DVD and by expect I mean hope, because jerking off to you dilated has always been a dream, unless of course you decide no to go through with the pregnancy and need help “ending” it since you don’t believe in abortion, I am sure I can find a handful of people who would be willing to fuck the fetus out of you, while suckin’ your milk filled tits, if you know what I mean….

Now I have to go report my neighbor to my landlord for harassing me with such stupid fucking news.

Posted in:Elisabeth Hasselbeck|Pregnant

2009

29

Jan

Some Mischa Barton Fashion Show Upskirt of the Day

I don’t consider Mischa Barton a celebrity, she’s more of a rich girl who happened to be on a TV show who is trying to be the New York fashionista socialite. You know the kind of girl who buys expensive clothes, smokes cigarettes in lofts and boutique hotels, dates dudes in bands and travels the world going to every fashion show she can all while hanging out with obscure models and I guess there’s really nothing bad about that life at all.

I mean other than the fact that she can’t find work, is slowly fading and is seen as more and more irrelevant, and more and more unattractive as the years of cocaine use add up, and is desperately trying to get any attention she can, but next time around she should be a little more liberal and show us her dirty bush we all know she has because all fashionistas and models have bush, they may be into Obama politically, but not when it comes to trying to relive the glamourous art scene of the late 60s and early 70s, it’s their hipster way to let the world know they are different than all those other plastic bitches with bikini waxes, because they embrace being dirty fucking hippies with no fucking job who have pussies that smell like mud, gravel and rotting vegetables/organic matter in their very own compost heap in their underwear….or some shit.

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Panties|Paris Fashion Week

2009

29

Jan

Jessica Alba Pretends to be a Mother of the Day

I like Jessica Alba’s tattoo. If I was fuckin’ her from behind, I’d really like feeling like I was about to cum all over a 7 year old school girl’s hair. Or maybe she’s trying to do some Christmas present shit, you know where she figures if you’re dick’s inside her box, she might as well wrap it up and put a bow on top, in which case it’s a lot less exciting, because cumming on the outside of the present really isn’t as fun as cumming inside, especially if the present is for your asshole boss and is edible.

Either way, here is Alba in some staged mom pictures, when most girls get in bikinis to get attention, she tries her best to act like she likes the kid and doesn’t think it’s the biggest pain in the ass that only comes in handy for staged photoshoots with the paparazzi, to distract the public from a couple stupid statements she’s made the last couple days. You know, like she is actually a good, involved mom who doesn’t just pawn the kid off on her nannies and mom to take the burden off her shoulders. You know, she since she’s a piece of shit cunt like that.

Good morning everyone. Hope you’re enjoying your day so far.

Posted in:Ass|Jessica Alba|Mother

2009

29

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

I made a claim today that Fibromyalgia is a fake disease created by lazy people who need an excuse to stay at home and collect disability checks. You know chronic pain that stems from their crazy heads, and not an actual disease, well it turns out a dude who has the disease wanted to clear things up and wrote this:

FIBROMYALGIA is real. Are you? And it doesn’t only affect women.  I’ve suffered from it for 16 years. I am so fucking sick of ignorant people making ill informed claims and vague value-judgments about crippling diseases.  First failed ethnobotanist, rancid radio host and Rock Star energy drink founder Michael Savage denies that autism is real, now you have the withered testicles to claim that anxiety, arthritis, and fibromyalgia are “bullshit disorders”?!?! 

My response:

Wow, 16 years is a lot of years of being a pussy.

I know no one cares about bullshit diseases and the wimps on disability too scared to deal with life who have them so here are my links.

Every Man Needs a Women That Does What She is Told, No?
GO

I Mean, Who DOESN’T Treat Their Own Mother Like a Piece of Garbage?
GO

I’m Sure The Gay Alphabet Makes Sense to a Homo Like You
GO

The Nine Hottest Canadian Women
GO

Now THAT’s How You Make a Peanut Butter Sandwich
GO

These are the REAL Ladies of Wrestling – Video
GO

Pam Anderson Modeling Throwback, To Remember What Once Was
And What Will Never Be Again
GO

Who Knew Blake Lively Had Such a Great Rack
GO

The Greatest Snack Food Stadium Ever Built
GO

Because If I Can Find a Girl to Fuck, Anything is Possible
GO

Dre is in Lingerie
GO

Mischa Barton Lesbian Make Out
GO

Bianca Gascoigne Topless
GO

Alessandra Ambrosio Looks Good Doing Pretty Much Anything
GO

China is a Communist Country and Even They Allow Gay Marriages
GO

striptease of the Day
GO

If Jessica Simpson is a Size 2, I Am In the Best Shape of My Life and Haven’t Drank Yet today
GO

Britney Ain’t Lookin’ Half Bad
GO

Mac vs PC va Linux
GO

Argentinian Wardrobe Malfunction
GO

Some Slut on Rock of Love Blew Out an Implant While Falling
GO

How About a Round House Kick to the FACE
GO

You’re Late Night Porn Fix
GO

Emma Will Drive You Wild
GO

Mini Me Wants to Baby Sit Your Kids
GO

Even Bart Simpson is a Scientologist
GO

Who Knew the Tennis Chicks Could Be Such Sluts?
GO

Road Side ASS-isstance
GO

Lucy Pinder Doesn’t Look Like a Complete Piece of Porno Trash For Once
GO

Nipple Piercing Reaction
GO

Because Getting Sex is Far Easier Than You Think
It’s All About Using the Right Tools
GO

Now Those Are Some Giant Tits
GO

Jennifer Aniston Turned Down Playboy and Thank God, Because Even
Naked Pictures of Her Wouldn’t be Enough to Make Me Read The
Accompanying Article About Her and Her Depressed Vagina
GO

Who the Hell is K.D. Aubert, And More Importantly Why Isn’t She In My Bed
GO

Amanda Bynes Upskirt
GO

Crissy Moran Wants to Show You Reading Rockss
GO

Build a $40 USB Telescope to Spy on Your Neighbors With
GO

Michael Lohan Just Won’t STFU
GO

How Awesome Would The Office Be If It Was XXX?
GO

A Death Defying Anal Insertion
GO

Obama Lays the Smack Down to Citi Bank, And Rightfully So
GO

Roasting in Hell’s Kictchen, By Gordon Fucking Ramsey
GO

The Fister Sisters
GO

I’m All About Kristen Bell’s Ass
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Lookin’ GOod Sweetheart…..I’m Talking to Your Vagina….
GO

Party Sluts Being Sluts While Drunk
GO

Bonus:
More Sluts Than In Your Dreams!
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS