Brazil is known to have the hottest women in the world or at least some of the hottest women of the world, because the other Brazilian bitches you are jerking off to (Gisele) have penises and it is pretty much impossible to tell them apart, making it not as gay when you get a blowjob from them, if anything, it may lead to a more liberated life when you come back to America and buy a set of Madonna tickets and dance on your very own Gay Pride parade float.
They are that good and they manage to take their semi-masculine faces and trick us into thinking they’ve got pussy. I have no idea what this video is all about, but I did read somewhere that Brazilian chicks who are pretty fit because they live on a beach and naturally have these retarded asses, have started to make the move into getting fake tits like American women and that pretty much ruins any beauty they ever had but really secures the fact that they are whores. Seriously, for 10 US dollars, they will do anything you want them to do, even stick it in your asshole and give you AIDS or so I’ve been told…..
Abigail Clancy is some UK coke slut who landed a footballer and started dating him and touring as a WAG a couple of years ago, until a video of her doing blow was released to the media, leading to him dumping her via fax, to try to clean his image, because you know where a girl’s ripping lines, the guy she’s fuckin’ isn’t too far behind, and that’s the kind of shit pro athletes don’t really like having out there about themselves, despite the fact that most of the pro athlete’s I’ve ever seen at bars and clubs over the last 15 years, have been the first in the bathroom line, but I guess none of that matters and what does matter is that she did some shitty shoot for FHM Germany, wearing a Guns N’ Roses shirt, because Germany’s a little slow on shit, proven in David Hasselhoff’s singing success there and their failure to take over the world back in the 40s.
Brandon Davis is the greasy rich kid on coke who’s grandfather was one of the richest people in the world thanks to America being the land of opportunity. The problem with the land of opportunity is that allows people to make insane amounts of money and those people go out and have families, who leech off that success, and never work a day in their life because it’s easier to just send him checks than to listen to his cunt behavior. Yes, even his family hates him.
In this video, he is seen ramming into some SUV that belongs to Pink, what, you thought her balls would allow her to buy a sports sedan? It may be a minor accident but dude’s obviously drunk, medicated and as rich kids do, makes a bigger deal out of things than they actually are, because rich kids can’t handle stress at all, and blames it on other factors, because they can’t take responsibility for their own actions, like the paparazzi and the one girl begging to get his autograph because she recognized him from the “Lohan is only worth 6 million dollars and has a firecrotch” video, figuring he’ll be a lonely broken down child with low standards that is easy to manipulate into marriage and all she’ll have to do is deal with his whiny, rich, asshole behavior, which is a lot better than sucking cock in the back alley that she’s been doing the last 5 years, so he’s pretty much her exit strategy and her retirement plan…and who really cares.
So Britney Spears is on the promo tour in Europe and she played such prestigious venues like the UK version of American Idol called X Factor and the French version of American Idol called Star Academy. I could be wrong about these shows, but I do know that waking up at 9 am after not working for 4 days is fucking destroying my soul, like buying tickets to a Britney Spears concert hoping to see her perform live, before being fed this useless lip synching drivel. We realize she’s crazy, has no talent at that repetitive piece of womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer shit is sung by a fuckin’ robot, so it’s hard to fuckin’ sing it, especially when you are dealing with your mental illness and struggling to not shove the headset mic down her throat, not to simulate oral sex but to choke on and die, because even she knows it’s pretty much over, over , over , over, over for her…
Read this story about how Britney’s Europe Fans are Mad about these performances, will I get woke up, warmed up and figure out how to make my comeback… GO
Here’s one from a show called Star Academy….in France….
Here’s a video of her celebrating her birthday at some club called G-A-Y, which is coincidentally the same name your family calls you when you’re in the other room….I mean it is the only explanation for you never having a girlfriend, right?
So I got sidetracked today, but I did manage to get wasted off wine at some piano bar with a friend of mine. She is some kind of 30 year old chick who can’t find love and who has turned to the internet to find a boyfriend, which is the kind of desperation I appreciate. You know, no one wants to become an old maid, everyone wants that white picket fence because they’ve been told their whole life how good it will be. They don’t want to use internet dating, or deal with dudes who want to put their years of masturbation practice to actual use, but sometimes you’ve got no choice, like the piano man I was harassing to play the song “Piano Man” who I accidently told I loved and who I think thought he was going to get lucky tonight. Unfortunately, that’s not how I roll, even if he winks at me as he rocks out to Billy Joel for me….
Here are my links, I am pretty ready for this weekend to be over……
Here is a picture of Jodie Marsh with some Save Tango midget painted orange, I have no idea what this is all about and I am really not about to go find out, because that would involve doing work, but I do it is a British thing and British people are fucking weird.
I also know that it is involves people painting themselves orange, and there is no doubt in my mind that when the people painting themselves orange are midgets, that they are actually getting paid to get exploited to do the shit, so they stand out and slutty lesbian attention whores make an effort to get a picture taken with them, not because it’s not everyday you see a midget with a painted face like some kind of clown, not that they have many other career options, they are fucking midgets, but because when you’re Jodie Marsh, it’s hard to find someone more orange than she is….
If I had a midget, I’d exploit him too. I’d constantly make him give me stand up blowjobs and treat him like my whore, pretty much all the time, from the minute I let him out of his cage, my dick would be in his mouth, and it wouldn’t be gay, because everyone knows midgets aren’t human. That’s like calling an old farmer gay for fucking the male sheep. Everyone knows that’s not true…
Okay, enough of this stupidity, now go look at Jodie Marsh’s stupidity…
Either this is David Hasselhoff and his daughter, or David Hasselhoff is proving to the world that no matter how much of a joke you are, as long as you’re on TV, there will be a willing pussy to fuck you, because everyone wants to be famous, and sometimes the only way to do that is to associate yourself with someone who is, even moderately famous, like the guy who stars in the local mattress commercial who I always see out drinking bottles of vodka with a group of stripper lookin’ chicks, because they think he’s important cuz he’s on TV, even though, he’s only on TV because he’s a fucking joke.
Britney Spears perfomed at some party in Germany, not it wasn’t a Nazi Party, that shit ended a long time ago, but it was something less hateful towards fags, jews, retards, russians and whatever else the Nazi Party killed, because let’s face it, I’m not historian, but I do know that Britney’s career should be history.
Bitch lip synched her way through her computerized song Womanzier. She was in some lingerie shit, she didn’t look good, even though she looks better than she did in her lowest of low points in theory, but I have a thing for girls on the verge of killing themselves, they usually fuck as crazy as they look, not to say that she’s not still worth fucking, because all girls are worth fucking, even if Britney’s got a fleshy smoked meat sandwich of a pussy after all those kids….what’s that? It’s not actually a smoked meat sandwich pussy but a smoked meat sandwich sandwich that she keeps in her pants to keep warm so that she has something to snack on every time her blood sugar drops? I guess you can’t take the fat chick habits out of the fat chick just because she’s not so fat anymore….
Here are the pics. Today is going to be a struggle….
Lindsay Lohan was walking to her car after shopping and she tries to pawn the paparazzi onto Steven Tyler because I guess he’s buying panties at the same store Lohan was at, but instead the paparazzi ask her if Steven Tyler is giving her advice on not drinking, to which she responds “what the fuck are you talking about”. I thought it was funny, but I also haven’t slept in two days.
I’ve been on a bit of a bender that led me into a crack den of a bar last night, shit smelled like piss and was lined with small closed off “VIP” rooms with a couches in them, pretty much set up for people to do drugs in peace, and I snuck into one that was empty to have some alone time, because I was over-served and needed a little cat nap before drinking some more. So I shut the door from the psycho electronic music and the weird crowd the place attracted, but before I passed out, 8 arab dudes in suits filed into this booth I was in. They light up 3 joints, start speaking arab at each other, and I thought I was in some Taliban conference and I was going to be held hostage like I was in Mumbai. They didn’t acknowledge the fact that I was in there with them, they just kept running off with their crazy language, started laughing, started dancing around, hugging each other and celebrating something, I wasn’t really “in” on, so I just sat their awkwardly sandwiched in this small space with all these people and eventually the bouncer came and kicked them out.
I ended up getting fuckin’ stoned because they hot boxed the shit I was in, and it turns out that there was a reason I quit smoking weed 10 years ago, because shit makes me do crazy things, and next thing I knew, I’m on the dance floor, dancing, something I don’t do, with my shirt off trying to make out with this chick lookin for coke screaming that I loved life and I’m sure it didn’t end there, but thankfully my memory does.
So as I sit here recovering, we should watch a video proving that Lohan never recovered and is still the piece of shit crackwhore she always was.
Bonus – Here are some pics of Lindsay Lohan Get Carried By A Gay of the Day, his name is Jeremy Scott, he’s some childish clubkid, hipster fashion designer… but these pics were emailed to me, I never saw them, so why not fucking post them. Right…
Here’s a list of the top 6 things I am thankful for:
1 – AIDS – Because it filters out the weak
2 – The Economic Crisis – Because it brings people down to my level and it’s nice to feel like I can relate to people
3- Amateur Porn – Because without it I’d have no sex life
4 – Parades for saving my life by reminding me that I am not the most useless thing in the world….
5- The Hills- because it proves that you don’t need talent to make a lot of money, you just need to sell your identity to MTV which is better than selling your body to science testing meds, or having someone identity fraud your ass…
6-Puppies – Because they are cute….
Ok, that’s enough of that, thanksgiving is over and I could go on all night about shit I am thankful for, so instead, I’ll just post some links
Papa Joe is Gonna Lay the Smack Down on Someone GO
