I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Sydney Sweeney Gives a Booty Show of the Day
Sydney Sweeney Gives a Booty Show of the Day
Christina Aguilera Whorin’ Old Lady of the Day
Christina Aguilera Whorin’ Old Lady of the Day
Christina Milian Posing with Produce of the Day
Christina Milian Posing with Produce of the Day
Aurelie Dupont is the Instagram Of The Day
Britney Spears Returns With Weird Dancing of the Day
Britney Spears Returns With Weird Dancing of the Day

2008

26

Nov

Benji Madden Leaves a Party With a Guy of the Day

5 Comments »

Benji Madden was seen leaving a club with his new fuck toy, who is some guy he put in a silly had to make look like his one true love, his brother. I mean it was kind of expected, since he’s been circle jerking with another man since the womb, even if they are twins and sex with each other isn’t considered homo, but masturbation, since they are the same fucking person. You know that whole if you had a clone of yourself would you let it suck your dick debate you’ve been having in you head since you first heard about Dolly the sheep, or whatever the fuck that cloned sheep was named.

So Benji isn’t talking much about Paris Hilton, their break up or any of that juicy shit that is her vaginal infections, because if you were famous and had the option to bang real chicks, you wouldn’t be down with admitting the dark time your judgment got the best of you because you were emotionally in a bad place since your one true love ran off with a troll and had a baby with her, you know leaving you forced to get with her best friend because it forces you to spend time together and it’s better to have something that keeps you tied to him, besides family functions or Good Charlotte reunion tours, you wouldn’t want people bringing it up or even admitting that it happened to yourself.

The truth is that Benji isn’t the first guy Paris has helped bring to his homosexual calling, she’s got those big feet, fake hair, lots of make-up and obnoxious outfits that would be encouraged at a gay club on tranny night, so I guess after fucking Paris the only place for you to go is Gay, especially since there’s a whole group of fags who aren’t scared of a little herpes, you know, since they have Aids.

Posted in:Benji Madden|Paris Hilton

2008

26

Nov

Kanye West Suicide Watch on Conan of the Day

4 Comments »

I was at some chick who lives in the building’s apartment because I needed to borrow a cup of sugar, and by sugar I mean bitch just wanted to fuck me and I don’t have it in my to say no to positive attention and by wanting to fuck I mean I invited myself over to watch TV because I don’t have one.

I ended up watching Kanye on Conan and when I watch him I feel like I am experiencing some sort of mental breakdown, and since I was too busy staring at the chick who lives in my building’s braless titties, I didn’t really pay much attention to this insecure broken down motherfucker, but I did notice that near the end of the interview he announces he has to go to the bathroom like he’s got no fucking filter or care for anyone by himself in his self centered world, like a retarded kid who can’t think 30 seconds into the future, and who need handlers to make sure he doesn’t do things he’s not supposed to when in public, like this retard I used to work with, who was hired by some work program, so my boss could get cheap labor, and I could have a good laugh when showing him pictures of tits in playboy and convincing him that they were the girl we worked with’s tits, getting him all riled up and ending with him groping her, because dude liked what he saw and didn’t realize shit was inappropriate behavior because he could only work on impulse, it’s what being retarded’s all about.

Either way, Kanye doesn’t play along with any of Conan’s jokes, he wasn’t interesting to listen to, he wasn’t funny, and he wasn’t normal, he seemed medicated and totally affected by the fame, money, and death of his mother. Dude’s about to fucking crack and he reminded me of a 5 year old who just got molested only he takes himself a lot more seriously than a 5 year old, with self-proclaimed announcements that he’s a pop artist through music and shit, because everyone knows if you call yourself a pop artist, people will believe you’re one, but the real truth is that his art died the second he made his first album, now he’s just some mainstream, pop, Daft Punk rip off artist, milkin it for all he can while losing his fucking perspective and slowly diving into insanity and the day he takes his shit that he’s been taking so seriously to heart and ends up jumping off a fuckin’ building, or Kurt Cobaining himself.

He’s not pushing boundaries, he’s just a broken down motherfucker and I think it’s gotta do with God taking his momma away, but maybe it’s time for his friends to intervene, but I am pretty sure he doesn’t have any, he’s just got employees and people sucking up to him and that’s probably where the crazy started.

Here’s his performance.

Posted in:Kanye West|Suicide

2008

25

Nov

stepLINKS of the Day

1 Comment »

I almost sold an ad deal to a sex toy company…but then it all fell apart…because nothing works out for me and I can never catch a fucking break. Here’s my last correspondence with the girl I was dealing with:

Hi Jesus,
 
I understand there has been some confusion around the issue of us advertising with you. Shortly after we last corresponded, I put in my notice. My last day is tomorrow (Wednesday). I have discussed advertising, and this is not something we would like to run with at this time. I would also like to add that a contract was never signed. We were merely in the negotiating stages. I apologize for the inconvenience.

I wrote back:

Yo,

A contract was not signed, but the last email you wrote me was:


Hi Jesus,
                         
That sounds perfect. What do we need to do to get started?
                         
Thanks,
                         

To me means we pretty much had an agreement. I am not very impressed with how you’ve handled, but good luck in your future project and I hope you have a nice collection of sex toys to bring home with you from this job, so that you can go fuck yourself.

Merry Thanksgiving, I know I won’t be giving thanks to you this week, and that’s got nothing to do with me being located in Canada, and everything to do with you stringing me along with your lies.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Ok, so I am not very good at ad sales or being diplomatic and not burning bridges, there’s a reason I am broke, but I am good at bringing you the biggest link list on the internet daily. Who needs money anyway, that shit always fucks people up and will just make me drink myself to death. I’m happy not making money.

I really should have broken these links into 2 posts, oh well, I suck at life, whatcha gonna do….I suggest drinking….

Nothing Like a Day at the Beach
GO

Jordan is Into Tanning Her Husband’s Brown Dick
GO

My Long Distance Relationship
GO

Imogen Bailey is on the Cover of Maxim. I Know, I Have No Idea Who She Is Either, But Whatever
GO

Jessica Simpson is a Retard…
GO

Goldie Hawn Pokie Throwbacks
GO

The Ten Deadliest Girl Fights
GO

Kim Kardashian’s Ass Crack
GO

Maria Sharapova is in the Wrong Business
GO

Who’s The Biggest Loser?
GO

Odette Yustman Can Scrub Me Down
GO

Scissor Sex Workout!!!
GO

If Jennifer Aniston Turned Down Getting Married, Then Paris Hilton Doesn’t Have Herpes
And I Am Looking Forward to Sex with My Wife with My Non Impotent and Very Large, Erect Penis
GO

Find Girls to Fuck
GO

Watch This Kid Dunk Himself
GO

Now That’s a Beat Down
GO

You’ll Never Guess Where Amy Winehouse Was The Other Night!
GO

They’re Still Making That?
GO

Nikki Cox Gallery
GO

Aneta Smrhova is Sexy on the Phone
GO

Galia is Gorgeous
GO

Wowm Tara Reid is Actually Not Making Want to Vomit in these Old Bikini Pics….
GO

A-Rod is a Real Stand Up Guy
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Petra Nemcova is Tasty
GO

Teacher Strips For Students
GO

Motor Cycle Mayhem
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Laura Dundovic is Miss Australia
GO

Jelena Jensen
GO

Mini Skirt Gallery
GO

Ali Landry is Prety in Pink
GO

Let’s LAugh at Gays. Sorry
GO

Kelly is Floating Around
GO

Olga Kurylenko is the Bond Girl I Love Most
GO

Remember Jordana Brewster?
GO

Top 10 Signs You’ve Drank Too Much
GO

Are these tits real or fake?
GO

12 Sex Lessons from Late Night Movies
GO

Some Hot Japanese Porn Clip….
GO

HUGE Tits in a Hooter Shirt VIdeo
GO

A Couple of Asians Singing Love Songs to Me….
GO

Denise Milani’s Big Tits Being Washed Off…
GO

This is what 20,000,000 Dollars and 4 Camels of Fireworks Look Like
GO

Some Girls on E Making Out Video
GO

How to Nail a Hippie Chick….
GO

Fat Ass Fetishist Gets Stuck In His Weird Sex Balloon
GO

Bruce Lee Playing Ping Pong with Nunchucks…
GO

A Gallery of Girls With Wedgies…
GO

Some Dude Jumps a Cannon with a Rocketpack Craziness
GO

SPECIAL FEATURE – PORN SITE REVIEWS…

Mom’s On TV
GO

Cum Swap Guys
GO

Planet Interracial
GO

Tranny Cum
GO

BI Sex HD
GO

Teen Stop
GO

Women Who Punish
GO

Gay Asian Anime
GO

DIY Redneck Rollercoaster
GO

Public Pissing Gone Wrong
GO

SPECIAL FEATURE – BANANA Videos….

These Bitches Need Practice
GO

School Girl Edition
GO

Fat Titties Like Bananas
GO

Banana Gag Video The Kids of Columbine Edition…Sure You’re Not Gay Funny Hair….
GO

How to Eat a Banana from Australia Weirdness….
GO

The Intense Goth Chick in a Collar…
GO

Really Big Cleave and a Banana
GO

Really Fake Fucking Tits…and hair…and lips…shit…she could be a dude….
GO

Tired of gloryholing dudes for money? Earn $200/day here instead
GO

Find Sluts Who Will Do Anything For You
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

25

Nov

Rihanna’s Tits Throwback of the Day

4 Comments »

Here’s some throwback pictures of Rihanna at the AMAs a couple of days ago. I got into a fight with a friend because he told me how she’s gone to shit and I took it personal, not because I am the kind of guy who sits around on Xbox Live talking to other dudes about whether a celebrity is hot or not, because I’m not, I generally think they all fucking suck and I talk about them enough in a day to never talk about them again, since I never gave a fuck about this shit, proven in pretty much everything I write, but there’s just something about Rihanna. Maybe it’s got something to do with my plantation fetish, but I think it’s got more to do with her being the biggest thing in music and having a decent attitude about shit because she comes from poverty in the Islands and now she’s on top of her fuckin’ game, sure she’s thick, but when in some ridiculous fetish costume out of one of your Warrior Princess fantasies, her tits look like they are catching up to that dumpy ass, and I can only assume it’s pregnancy, it happens. They’re fertile, just roll through your local Wal Mart, you’ll see a whole lot of local Rihannas pushin’ their single mother strollers…..true story.

Posted in:Rihanna|Tits

2008

25

Nov

Britney Spears for Rolling Stone of the Day

7 Comments »

Everyone’s talking about how amazing Britney looks in these pictures for Rolling Stone. They’re all saying that she’s back, like she ever left and that she looks fit because her dumpy southern gut isn’t hanging over her pants and because she’s taken the time to shower, get made up and photoshopped in post production and all I see is some pretty fucking boring pictures of someone I wanted to fuck when she was 16, only 12 years older, 2 kids, a couple breakdowns and addictions, some saggy tit slips, a vagina slip or two, a shaved head episode and a marriage to some loser, divorce and custody battle with the same loser, and a whole lot more crazy shit than the bitch who once danced around in a school girl outfit asking to be hit, has polluted my life with her drama that I would have preferred she kept to her fucking self.

I am only posting them as proof that the media is lying to you, she’s not back, she never went anywhere and we can’t bring back the Britney we all wanted to fuck, because it defies science, but you can youtube search some of her old videos to remember, because anything is better than this boring shit.

Posted in:Britney Spears|Rolling Stone

2008

25

Nov

Megan Fox is a Slut Black Dress of the Day

6 Comments »

Megan Fox was out in some American Apparel lookin’ dress that girls around here wear out to bars, but she’s doing it in broad daylight. Another more embarrassing thing she’s doing in broad daylight, being seen in public with David from 90210. Sure they are in love, they are a couple, he fucks her, but that’s the kind of shit you pretend doesn’t go on, because as addicted to his cock as you are, you know that he’s a fucking joke and jokes are meant to be kept on bootycall at 4 am after being overserved at the bar. You know the fat chick, the one-legged chick, the midget, or the high functioning chick you’ve been fucking all these years, but won’t introduce her to your family and friends because you have some fucking dignity and you are embarrassed that you lowered yourself to that, you feel weak and controlled by your penis, like Megan Fox is controlled by David from 90210 and probably believes that he’s so fuckin’ down, and so fucking cool, and so fucking trendy, and so fucking bad that it makes her pussy drip and that’s why she’s gone so far as to get shitty lookin’ tattoos to fit in with him, because she’s one of those girls who just really doesn’t know what’s up, and in her mind is living her dream, because she used to wish she was Tori Spelling when lying in bed feeling her teenage pussy to see if it’s sprouted hair yet..and she’s hanging with the wrong fucking crowd, like all those hot girls you see dancing on tables for dudes in Ed Hardy, convinced that they are rollin’ in style, with people who know what’s up, but in reality are just embarrassing themselves and your challenge is to break them free from that to believe you’ve got what they want, which may be hard, because most girls don’t like 3 inch cocks and stamp collections.

I am sure she’ll eventually open her eyes, even if it’s too late and she’s already open her legs for him, but who really cares, it’s not like any of us have to deal with her on any level more than jerking off to her, not that I would do that because she’s overrated, but because you do and I was trying to make you feel better about yourself…

Posted in:Megan Fox|Slut

2008

25

Nov

Tila Tequila’s Got a See Through Shirt of the Day

3 Comments »

Tila Tequila was at the Pussycat Doll event and like all girls wanted to be the center of attention in the room. You know how competitive women are, it’s some primitive animal instinct, where they try to be the bitch the stud decides to fuck, knock up so she can live her life purpose of procreation out, or some shit. So when the event is for a group of sluts, girls have to step the game up, slip into some lingerie, bondage gear, fetish shit, because it is the only way they will get noticed amongst the competition, even though every one in attendance, like Parish Hilton or Bai Ling, are the kind of girls you’d expect to walk in on getting fucked in the back alley, bathroom, dancefloor, VIP room, taxi on the way home, bedroom, and pretty much anywhere there is a hard penis, or phallic shaped object around. You know how the Pussycat dolls are, they like to keep it classy.

Posted in:Nipples|See Through|Tila Tequila|Tits

2008

25

Nov

Bai Ling’s Gotta be a Tranny of the Day

3 Comments »

There was a time many years ago, when I ended up at a gay bar because I was into drugs, and that’s where the drugs were free. Not because I was hustlin’ dudes, because the truth is that every time I went out to one of these parties, I’d have lower self esteem than I went in with, because gay dudes will fuck anything, but they wouldn’t fuck me, but I was too wasted to really care, and if the guys were coming onto me, I would have probably not had as much fun as I had.

The good thing about gay bars is the fag hags, you know the kind of girl who either tries to pretend she’s fabulous, like some socialite with her gay man entourage, who pretends to be fashionable and superficial and shit, but who insecure as shit, and that’s why she’s running this whole act to begin with and she’s just sad she’s not getting any attention at the bar and just wants to get her pussy licked by her bff fag she wishes wasn’t a fag and who she spends all that time with, in hopes he’ll slip up, but that’s not going to happen, so when she’s drunk enough she settles for someone like me, because it’s a numbers game and I’m in the fuckin’ lead…..

Either way, I used the lady’s room, because the men’s room was a fuckin’ sex pit of sinning disgustingness and always smelled like shit, and I just didn’t need to get raped by some guy who was a little too caught up in the moment. So as I am waiting for a stall to piss in, this tall asian in a thong and lingerie walks out, and I’m thinking that I can get used to this shit…before realizing she was really a he….and I have a feeling in a few years, we’ll find out the Bai Ling was a he all along and here he is at a Pussycat Doll event dressed as classy as he gets….

Posted in:Bai Ling|Tranny

2008

25

Nov

Gavin Rossdale’s Daughter is Nude of the Day

3 Comments »

Daisy Lowe is a funny rich kid story. She is 19, her mother is some slut who was married to some guy and her god father was Gavin Rossdale from the band Bush, who is married to Gwen Stefani. She was under the impression that her father was her mom’s husband, something that most kids would naturally think, but when she was older, after some paternity tests were issued, it turned out that Gavin Rossdale was her dad.

I guess that is some soap opera worthy rich kid daddy issues, that would lead a girl into the drug, party life as she’s fed money from the dad who was never there’s guilt and now she’s some model who dated Sam Ronson’s brother Mark, who DJs, Models and gets naked in magazines, and these are the pictures…because rich sluts with daddy issues are my porn and I wonder if Gavin Rossdale can separate himself from the fact that he is her dad, since he had no problem separating himself from being her dad her entire life, and take in how solid them tits are.

Posted in:Daisy Lowe|Gavin Rossdale|Naked

2008

25

Nov

Kim Cattreal Topless of Art of the Day

3 Comments »

Kim Cattrall brought her 52 year old small tits out for a good time, in efforts to save some painting in London . Art is always a good excuse to get naked, it’s been something I’ve tried over and over again but has always managed to fail, because I am asking the wrong girls who don’t grasp the concept of art because they are too busy getting naked for money and because I usually have a boner and creepy look in my eyes, but if you find the right girl and you convince her that you have a vision, one deeper than just wanting to see her pussy, you’ll be able to get her naked and doing all kinds of weird shit while you snap off pics, the only problem is that girls who get naked for art are usually fat, have big bush, or are old….

Cattrall proves that theory that I came up with years ago when auditing a college level drawing class because I had no job and nothing better to do and was told there were always nude models. By the 5th week of going to this shit, I figured out that the nude models were 75% of the time men, and the 1 woman we had was probably 60, and unlike Cattrall, who proves why small tits age better, they had actual tits, the kind that no man would ever want to see if they wanted to stay straight, possibly proving why artists are fags. I ended up giving up on drawing, because apparently the teacher wasn’t down with what I was coming up with using the crayon I stole from a diner’s kid’s menu activity, and when she found out I didn’t belong in the class, I got banned.

Either way, older girls have this confidence to get naked and fuck proper, that’s why people have MILF fetishes, because they are easy to get anal with, since their pussies are just as dry, and the whole thing just frustrates me, because I don’t get why they didn’t have that same hot attitude when they were younger, and not passed their expiry date…it’s just all a fucking waste, here are those pics….

Posted in:Kim Cattrall|Naked