I was with a guy this weekend who wanted to sew his girlfriend’s pussy shut because he was going out of town for a week, he actually showed me a print-out on how to do the stitches that he found in some medical journal, his only concern was that when he was away, she’d cheat on him with a doctor, who could re-stitch her up and he wouldn’t be the realzing that her shit was tampered with, so I spent an hour listening to him craft a signature knot no one would pick up on but him..not that Alicia Keys has to worry about that because I hear she has testicles, but for some reason insists on wearing a woman’s bikini….I’ll never really grasp this cross dressing shit, but I will suck on cross-dressin’ tits, or get cross-dressing blowjobs, but only if I’m drunk and don’t realize a dick’s attached. True story.
To See the Rest of the Pics Because I Don’t Want to Get Sued Over This Beast…Follow This Link… GO
Sure Stephanie Seymour is a bit of a slut. She’s dated married men since she was 16, she has kids with different daddies like she lives in the projects, but along with using her pussy to get ahead, to get what she wanted and to feel validated, she also used it as some kind of weapon or martyr to destroy Guns N’ Roses and for that, she’s a fucking hero.
I hate Guns N’ Roses, they are one of the most over-rated bands, especially if you’re talking to a 30 year old who hasn’t broken free from the High School glory days and while working as a septic tank cleaner or heating/air conditioning repair man, or some other menial shit he hates doing and doesn’t understand how he got there, who sneaks out to the garage or the compay truck on break to crank up Appetite for Destruction where he closes his eyes, remembering a simpler time, before kids, mortgages, work and a needy wife, you know when all he needed to be happy was just his long hair, a case of beer, a pack of cigarettes a couple buddies, some titties and some Guns N’ fuckin’ Roses on the stereo.
I hate those people, because they don’t realize they are idiots, who fell in love with this band because of marketing and not because they are a good fucking band, and if Guns N’ Roses were legends like these assholes I meet all the fucking time, with the ROSE tattoo on their chest claim they are, and weren’t just a commercial mainstream band like they actually were, their careers wouldn’t have ended in ’92.
So to those people, I think it’s time for you to move the fuck on, and the first step in recovery is forgiving this bitch for what she did to you by taking away your one true love…
To the rest of you, just remember she is the mom of a 16 year old, and your mom didn’t look like this when you were 16 and that’s the whole reason her pussy is a weapon.
To See the Rest of the Pics Because I Don’t Want to Get Sued Over This Slut…Follow This Link… GO
I love Amy Winehouse. Mainly because she’s the only living celebrity I can actually imagine fucking because she looks like most of the whores I’ve been with. I also like that she’s down to get fucked up and have a good time, and most importantly, I like that she satisfies my necorphilia fetish by making me feel like I’m jerking off to a rotting dead person, without actually having to jerk off to a rotting dead person, because that would be weird, like all those lonely nights spent getting laid in the Coma ward at the hospital…
Not sure where I’m going with this, so go check out Winehouse’s Talented Jewish crack-tits because they are pretty jacked for someone who’s got an Ethiopian starving baby belly and a serious drug addicted-concentration camp – emaciated – self-destructed physique, which is a miracle just a little less impressive than the fact that she’s still alive.
To See the Rest of the Pics Because I Don’t Want to Get Sued Over this Slag…Follow This Link…. GO
So I went Christmas shopping today it was fucking crazy. People everywhere and by people I mean girls in leggings. It was a good time and I got myself an amazing gift…2 cans of beans. I have a limited budget and she loves eating so I’m sure she’ll be disappointed like every year, even though I put so much thought into the shit. I am joking, I don’t bother getting my wife a gift, I just went shopping to scope out young pussy and it was a success…
Here are some links to get you through this cold, dark, lonely Christmas season….
Katy Perry claims she has DD tits and I’ve had DD tits in my mouth a few times and I think it’s safe to say that these aren’t DDs, not that a girl’s tit size really matters, because every DD I’ve had have been offensively big and pretty much hung like you’d expect them to and had an ass to match, so instead of getting excited enough to play with them, I kinda just went through the motions and would fake orgasms to end the aubse to myself. Now, maybe Katy Perry’s was a fat chick with DDs, because she looks like she’s got that kind of potential, but the touring, partying and pressure of the media’s keeping her in check, but when the 5 minutes are over, I figure she’ll slow down and go back to the couch to eat bag after bag of chips where she belongs because she’s not hot and her songs are irritating…..
So Lily Allen decided to bust out her classiest Jackie-O outfit and hit the streets showing the world her barren stomach. I get a lot of hate for laughing about her miscarriage because I don’t think she actually had one and if I am wrong, which I don’t think I am, she was drinking and smoking and pretty much was responsible for that shit. So when I say things like “here she is walking without her baby because it was never born”, or if I say “here are her nipples making an appearance hoping to find the baby they were hormonally ready for before it was rudely taken from them”, or when I say “her body still looks 4 months pregnant, maybe she pulled the miscarriage out of the toilet and stuffed it back in her because she can’t accept the loss just yet”, I don’t mean to offend all the people out there trying to have babies but instead are dealing with constant disappointment and sadness because their bodies aren’t taking shit well, I do mean to offend Lily Allen for being an irresponsible fat chick who would have made a horrible parent and probably made the right choice, but we can still laugh about it because I know no tears were shed over this, maybe just minor inconvenience.
Either way, here she is showing off her body and I must be horny becaue I find these pictures kinda hot, but in my defense, I find a lot of disgusting things hot.
Vikki Blows is some nude model and this isn’t the first time she’s got topless before, I think the only reason people know who she is is because she gets topless, or maybe it’s got something to do with her last name actually being Blows, but I have a hard time believing that is ture, but if it is, I guess from a young age she got teased and shit followed her like a curse and the only real revenge she could get is to actually accept her fate and make a career out of being a cock sucking whore, like the lesbian I went to school with who we all knew was a lesbian, but who didn’t know she was a lesbian, and we’d tease her and tease her and even the teachers would get in on it by asking her if she rented a tux for Prom, and shit like that, who later in life turned out to have accepted what we all knew and laughed about and started eating pussy, only the girl I knew didn’t have hot tits like this….
Christmas came early for Hollywood’s favorite Lesbian when Carmen Electra showed up and did a little slutty stripper dance that we all know she’s very familiar with because she’s pretty much Hollywood’s version of a slutty stripper that ended with an ass slap that I think that it was a little too much for Lesbian Ellen to handle because by the looks of it, I think she came and had to change those Lesbian pants for the next segment but no one could tell because all her Lesbian pants are the same.
Also on the show today was slutty Anna Faris showing her legs and giving Ellen a pair of tacky tranny Christmas Shoes…that she goes onto model for us….something no pant wearing lesbian should ever do…
And to close out the show The Pussycat Dolls were there to keep shit wholesome….
BONUS – She’s Doing a TV Giveaway for Christmas and after luring Carmen and Ana Faris into Clooney’s Office to Take Smutty Pics (can’t find video of that), they roll out a TV to give to her audience and shit falls and I laughed…
And She Reveals the Costumed Whore Dressed Like a Hot Soothing Drink and It’s Paris Hilton….what she gives lasts more than just 12 days of Christmas…..
Now I’ve officially posted an entire episode of Ellen and I feel like I’ve paid back my lesbian brethren.
I wonder what Brooke Hogan put on her Christmas list. She already got the tits she has dreamt about since she was a little girl to balance out her very large frame, she’s already got all the assless pants they sell at her local sex store. She’s already broken up her mom and dad’s marriage so she can have him all for himself. She’s got her brother out of prison and her stepfather in training finally hit puberty making it less embarrassing than it was 6 months ago. Her dad already pulled all the strings his wrestling carer gave him to get her a record deal and a couple photoshoots in Maxim and she’s got all the fake blonde hair she needs, so I guess the only thing you can get fo this North Florida redneck royalty is a good old fashioned gang rape, like the one her momma was part of the day she was conceived…sure they always pretend they hate it at first, but after years of therapy and hard drinking, they’ll be able to accept it for the right of passage it is. Again, I have no idea what I am talking about but I do know the rollerblading Poofter behind her pissed himself and that’s more interesting than Brooke Hogan.
This is on of the reasons I am a fan of Rihanna. Not only is she hot and a huge success, but she seems like she’s pretty down to have a good time. You know when she was a kid in the Islands, living in poverty, watching MTV when cleaning resort bedrooms, she knew she wanted to make it big in music, and she did. That’s not to say that she’s all that talented, or that she didn’t take off her pants for Jay-Z, seeing how easily she pulled them down for some random Fred Durst motherfucker, but it is to say that she’s here and she looks like she’s loving it and that’s a hell of a lot more refreshing than the cunt Beyonce, who you know probably doesn’t even take her pants off for her Husband because in her diva world she’s above that shit and just being in the same fucking room as her is something you should be thanking the gods for, no matter who they are. The truth is that the last time I think Beyonce even acknowledged one of her fans was back when she was doing the Mall circuit with Destiny’s Child and happened to order her bucket of chicken from a Popeye’s employee who happened to hear her perform earlier that day and recognized her, and she was only talking to him to get served….
Now to those of you who are going to call me racist and threaten my life, it’s a known fact that Beyonce loves Popeye’s, she had a VIP free chicken for life card from them and she even served the shit at her wedding , so get over hating and embrace her love for fried chicken.
