It was never assumed that Kourtney Kardashian wasn’t an attention seeking slut like her big sister (literally) Kim. I mean their dad was a powerful lawyer who was too busy to give them the attention they needed, so instead just handed over his credit card. I am sure he’d be proud of his little sluts if he was still alive today, you know being able to watch them and masturbate to them in his office behind closed doors and still walk them down the aisle on their wedding nights, instead of having to do it like all dead relatives have to do it, by being an ominous presence overlookin from above, in disappointment than when he was alive, he didn’t take advantage of the opportunity to accidentally let them play with his gun collection when they were 10.
These girls have absolutely no fucking substance, they are drunk, talking stupidities in broken sentences but luckily droppin’ bitch, bitches, motherfuckin so we get what they are trying to communicate, you know dumb rich slut is a dialect of its own, before Kourtney gets on top of her lame lookin’ boyfriend and rides him a little in her bikini. It’s about as exciting as the Kim Kardashian Sex Tape, which isn’t say much, but at least Kim got naked and pissed on, in this shit, I just see some slicked hair lookin clown kissing a piece of shit person….
Here’s a girl fight that was sent into me and I figured I had to post it because the dude filming it is fucking hysterical. He says something like “Oh She’s got her pussy on her face” and I laughed. I don’t think they are actually Obama’s sisters, but black guys refer to each other as brothers, so I figured they call each other sisters too, but I am not that engrained in the black community so I don’t really know. All I know is that these girls go at each other pretty hard, making the American ghetto the real African Safari, fuck watching zebras and lions eat their young and shit, get this up on the nature channel, because poverty and addiction bring out human’s animal instincts and I know that I like seeing a couple poor crackheads go at it……..On a side note, I love when the dude filming says “I’m going to make some money off these motherfuckers…”, he is amazing, someone needs to get him a TV show…..
I don’t know what drugs these whores are on, but I like to think it’s the word of God, because these Mormons in Utah are trying to claim that Pole Dancing should be an Olympic sport, and that it is some kind of legitimate sport and that they are athletes, which is something I’ve always argued because I like to give strippers more credit than being money hungry, drug addicted, fake tit party girls.
I assume that these Mormons are pushing this because Religious people are repressed and they are trying to feel better about doing something that makes them feel wet inside and sparks the conception of their next 15 babies when practicing in front of their husband when he gets in from working the fields and going door to door like he was Prince/The Artist Formally Known As….and that it is appropriate because they are only dressed like whores in fishnets and stripper heels because it’s the equipment needed for the sport without realizing the only equipment really needed for this sport is big tits and a pussy……I know that the only thing more frustrating that watching a stripper who doesn’t get naked doin’ her routine on a pole dance so you have to take her for a private dance, is watching an suburban ugly Mormon mom, struggling on the pole while not stripping and not having the option to grab her tits for 10 dollars….because you feel sorry for her for embarrassing herself in front of all these people….
I guess tryin to legitimize an illegitimate thing is somethin Mormons are good at, you know with the whole polygamy wife beating shit, I guess if it went through and made it to the Olympics like it was the Jamaican Bobsled team or Michael Phelps, it’d make the Olympics the biggest cocktease event on TV, I mean besides the Teen Choice Awards, Disney Channel and all things starring Dakota Fanning….I don’t know where I was going with that, but figured you’re a bunch of perverts who get off to young girls, so I did it for you man…..
He announces that on Thanksgiving he plans on going down on Nicole Richie like the old days…Shit’s so crazy…She’s got a baby and shit….I guess if plane crashes, suicide and blood clots can’t stop this guy, either can dudes who suck off their twin brothers before getting suburban tattoos to make them look like real life rockstars….but maybe I am reading his code for Nicole Richie’s loose skinned vagina wrong and he’s really just talking about his girlfriend Mandy Moore’s fat ass , maybe I am just reading into it too much and the truth is, who really cares, this is DJ AM we’re talking about, dude’s pretty much a fuckin’ nobody no matter how many clubs he’s DJed at, or how much money he’s made doin’ it….On a side note, I think this whole joke totally bombed…it happens at least 5 times a day….I am so misunderstood.
Scroll through to about 40 seconds, some crazy black homeless lookin’ crackhead wraps her arms around this bitch and starts wailing them around and yelling at the paparazzi. It’s really not half as bad as the shit I’ve had to deal with homeless crackhead people, like shaking hands with their black soot and shit covered hands because they had me cornered and liked what I was saying that they wanted to “give me some skin”, or the time some bum pulled out his long, bleeding, shit and soot covered dick to a group of us when we were drunk, about 10 seconds before going into the entire Puppetry of the Penis catalog of stunts because my asshole friend thought it would be funny to pay a bum a dollar to have him wail his dick out and perform tricks with it. It got a little messy when we offered him an extra 5 dollars to slap it against some random girls face while she was sitting outside the bar with her face between her knees, but that’s just because she tried to get the cops involved, but luckily was so drunk, we just kept telling the cops she was crazy and making shit up.
I am sure there are worse stories about me and the homeless, like the time this totally shaved pantyless 45 year old crackwhore was convulsing in the middle of the street and had a group of people trying to help her during her overdose/crazed fit and I totally got hard looking at the brown crusty shit that was oozing out of her box, and I am not talking about the box that she lives in…. I mean there are other stories because I am one step away from being homeless and the homeless are my people. They just don’t give a fuck about the suburban dream or fitting in, or making a living and being conventional and there have been times where I’ve had sex with homeless girls because they are easy, I’ve made out with them because it was funny, I’ve even fingered them to see if my finger would come out in one piece and while doing it, was pretty disgusted, because knowing how bad I smell combined with how bad they smell, it must have been sick for passer-bys….but that didn’t stop me.
I guess the real tragedy in all this is that this homeless chick didn’t jab Whitney Port in the leg with an AIDS needle and handing her a card welcoming her into the club, or even give her TB, Hepatitis, The Plague, SARS, Ebola or whatever the fuck else is going around the shanty communities of LA, because I figured if she did, it’d be one step closet to the show coming to an end, I mean I was hoping for a plane crash, but offing them individually, is also an option, or if MTV cared about us, they’d just end it and everyone could go to their mansions, develop serious drug addiction because they will realize their meal ticket and 15 minutes that has lasted a lot longer is finally up and they’ll be back to being irrelevant sluts, when we can go back to whatever the next piece of shit being thrown down our throats is…..
Miley Cyrus gets all excited about her fame fucking boyfriend, the one who is modeling for Ed Hardy fashion shows and who is an aspiring singer and when Ellen asks her about it, her reaction is so annoying, awkward and obvious, that there’s no way these fag doesn’t fuck her in the ass because it makes him feel like he’s not straying to far from his gay roots and selling himself out to get a career by having to have sex with a 15 year old girl.
Either way, I figured you’d like excitable teenage girls, especially when they are all riled up because they feel tingles in their vaginas as their hormones pour into their Mickey Mouse panties….I just find it irritating because with a laugh like that she sounds like something you’d find in a stable…..
On a side note here’s a video of her dad getting interviewed by the paparazzi yesterday or the day before….listening to their amazing contribution to the video …”For Real?”, “By he-self”, fucking immigrant pieces of shit trying to steal my motherfucking money….
I am working on my non-threatening random adding of people on Facebook strategy, because I figure hot chicks don’t like random adds. So This is what I write:
OMG, I haven’t seen you since high school, I can’t believe facebook brought us together!! What’s new?!
I interchange High School with College, Dance Class, Did you used to come to the Starbucks I worked at, etc, etc, making them feel guilty for not remembering. So far it’s worked every time…and that’s what I’ve been doing the last hour instead of writing something worth reading for this post….
Here are my links…
Because Your Future Daughter Has a Similar Destiny, So You May As Well Learn the Industry GO
Britney Spears Photoshopped in Another Promo Pic… GO
Olga Kurylenko Needs To Take That Little Black Bikini Off GO
Sofia Vergara G-Sting Photoshoot Video and Should Change Her Last Name to Viagra GO
Funny Tight Fit Video Something You’re Not Used To, Because Nothing Is Tight For You, Except for Maybe your Pants…If you didn’t get that, I was talking about pussy and your small dick….get it now? GO
I read this article on Christina Aguilera drinking 35,000 dollar snifters of cognac with Martha Stewart and I am a little concerned because maybe this bitch has lost her fucking mind not because she is giving all of us who can’t afford our mortgages on a 35,000 dollar house because we just lost our job a big fuck you, but because she’s hanging with Martha Stewart.
Then I came across this article about how the economy is fuckin’ her like Martha Stewart wants to…..
Back in the summer of 2007, pop star mommy Christina Aguilera and her music executive huzband Jordan Bratman forked over $11,500,000 for the Beverly Hills mansion of addled rock legend Ozzy Osbourne and his extremely ambitious wifey Sharon.
That left Missus Dirrty with an extra house in the Hollywood Hills where she had been living since April of 2003 when she paid around five million big ones to buy a 5,411 square foot Steve Hermann designed residence on Devlin Drive.
In April of 2008, not long after Mister and Missus Dirrty moved into the old Osbourne mansion on Doheny Road, she listed the 4 bedroom and 7 bathroom Bird Street nest for $7,995,000. We’ve heard through the gossip grapevine that several celebs and their mostly superflouus entourages have toodled up the hill for a walk around. However, no big name or deep pocketed person has bit the big bullet
So, like so many other high end sellers with lavish properties languishing on the market, Miss Dirrty and her property purveyor rather wisely hauled out the price chopping machete and hacked the asking price by a gigantic one million clams bringing the asking price all the way down to $6,995,000. Our bejeweled abacus tells us is more than 12% lower than the original asking price. Wow.
If you didn’t read the article, it says that she lives in a 11.5 million dollars house and owns a 8 million dollar house that is on the market and in hopes of selling it, has adjusted the price to the state of the market by making it more affordable for people, but cutting the price down to 7 million dollars, so all the haters can fuck off, because Aguilera is feeling the burn from the economy too, she’s just a victim of a predator like Martha Stewart, who is running some serious game on Aguilera, knowing that she married a man only a lesbian would marry, in hopes of reliving some of her prison rape experiences with young, Mexican, Cuban, Puerto Rican or whatever spic she is, pussy, just like the Juanita she was married to in prison…..
In GQ’s attempt to not go bankrupt like every other magazine, they’ve gone ahead and released some outtakes from a Megan Fox shoot that went down a long time ago, because they aren’t idiots and know we all want to see them.
You all love this cunt so fucking much it makes me fucking sick. Sure these photoshopped pictures of her are fucking hot, but if you’ve ever read any interviews with her, which you have, since you have them all saved on your hardd rive for masturbation purposes, you’ll know she’s full of fucking shit, has an ego, thinks she’s the next Angelina Jolie and has probably had some work done to look like the next Angelina Jolie and is a product of her PR company trying to make her out to be some kind of sex symbol, when all she really is is some useless slag with shitty tattoos, not talent who is fucking a guy from the original 90210 with a pretty amazing body that I’d like to hate fuck.
Katy Perry is a pig. I don’t care if she’s got tits and that’s her only claim to sex appeal or if she talks about kissing other girls because she knows it is marketable, I have heard her in interviews and she sounds like the type of messy girl who breaks a stool, tries to make out with the bar tender, but ends up making out with some fat dude in the corner, before puking all over the place and running out embarrased. You know the sloppy girl who you see crying at a pizza place after a night of drinking, with a ripped dress, stuffing her face knowing that she sucks at fucking life and that is because she does suck at life and no matter how much she tells me she’s got hot tits, or how often her song bounces around inside my head like a viral infection, we both know that she is the ugly friend nobody wants and no matter how drunk I am, I stay as far the fuck away as I can because despite being easy, she comes with a very persistant attitude and would show up on your doorstep at 4 am begging to suck your dick, which isn’t a bad thing, but can be a pretty fucking annoying thing, because she always seems to smell like french fries and she never really goes away, but she does flip the used condom inside out, hoping to keep you around for the next 18 years, because she’s just that desperate.
