I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

18

Nov

We Get It Jessica Simpson…You’re Dating Tony Romo of the Day

We get it Jessica Simpson. You have a fucking boyfriend and you love letting the world know how in love you are by wearing around his Jersey like some obsessed fan, who sucks his dick everytime he roles into town, because we all know when he’s on the road, or not playing Football, he’s not wearing Jessica Simpson T-Shirts around to let the world know, but he may have had his dick sucked by a whore while one of your videos happens to come on in the background.

This is some jock college bullshit from the 70s, where the cheerleader gets to wear the Varsity jacket, while the QB is out dippin his throwing arm in all the honey pots he can, and I know that her little obsession with him to prove to the world that she’s not a failure of a girl who can’t land love and I think it’s all got to do with her little sister got knocked up before she did and now has a complex.

I know that if I had some kind of credibility and saw a girl wearing one of my t-shirts, I’d go along with it, to get laid, but her over-interest in me would make me run the fuck away right after cumming, I guess Jessica Simpson doesn’t really get men, but in her defense, she doesn’t really get much. Yeah, she’s stupid….

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Tony Romo

2008

18

Nov

Hayden Panettiere Buys Whip Cream of the Day

When I see Hayden Panettiere getting out of her car holding a can of Whip Cream, all kinds of ideas of what she’s going to do with that can of Whip Cream run through my head. Like is she going to smear it all over her dick and make some hired slut lick it off like an ice cream cone or is she just sad and in the mood to emotionally eat and watch romantic comedies, or maybe she’s working on a new act for the circus she’s auditioning for as a midget clown, that involves a little slapstick comedy, you know some cream pies (not those kinds of creampies) to the face like she’s one of the Three Stooges and the truth is, I really don’t give a fuck because I am scared of Midget clowns and all their silly stunts so I’ll just post the pictures and leave it to your imagination because I just don’t have the answers…..or picture proof you are looking for. It’s all part of being a waste of internet space and taking that role seriously.

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Whip Cream

2008

18

Nov

Some Leeza Gibbons for the Dude Who Always Emails Me Asking for Leeza Gibbons of the Day

I have a Spanish speaker who constantly emails me and who has been emailing me the last 4 years asking for nude pictures of Leeza Gibbons. I am guessing he’s one of those weird dudes who doesn’t know how to let go and move on, because I haven’t really heard much about Leeza Gibbons in the last 10 years, other than her stint on Dancing With the Stars, something I didn’t watch, but that this Spanish speaker was really fucking excited about that shit and sent me double the emails that read like this:

caliente!

desnudos?

rápidamente.

Sorry dude, I hate to break it to you for the 200th time, but I don’t have any nudes of Leeza Gibbons, but 1996 was a good fuckin’ year, I used to watch her talk show religiously, got me through some rough times, I credit her for saving my life and for that I’d love to rub one out to her too, but we can’t go back in time to when she was John Tesh’s leggy sidekick, so I’ll just post these recent pics of her, to let you know that despite ignoring your emails because you scare me, I do still aim to please….

Posted in:Leeza Gibbons|Old Lady

2008

18

Nov

Ed Hardy Underwear Fashion Show of the Day

Ed Hardy is the cheesiest fucking thing around. It attracts the cheesiest fucking people and the only good thing about cheesy fucking people is that they dance on bar tables in little Ed Hardy skirts, showing the world their big fake tits in their Ed Hardy low cut shirts and assholes winkin’ at me out of their Ed Hardy thongs, while drinking bottles of Grey Goose with Jimbo’s and chachi motherfuckers, who are also in Ed Hardy everything from head to fucking toe and who think they are fucking rockstars, but don’t realize that they look like total twats, because all their fellow Ed Hardy cult members keep giving them positive attention and props because of their 300 dollar t-shirts that looks like some kind of crazed silk screener threw up rhinestones, sequins, paint, gels and gold foil all over the shit….but I guess the brand’s done something genius, because it’s tricked the lame masses into thinking they need the shit to fit in and it’s become this massively embarrassing movement, that I am sure has made a bunch of people rich as these strippers, 9 to 5 millionaires and Italians have spend their paychecks on the shit, because they think they need it…..

Ed Hardy had a fashion show and it wasn’t as slutty as 99% of the tacky bitches who rock this shit around here, but it’s still worth posting because Ed Hardy offends me even when they get girls in underwear struttin’ their shit….it’s a fucking joke and you’ve all fallen for it…

Posted in:Ed Hardy|Fashion Show|Lingerie|Underwear

2008

18

Nov

Kim Kardashian Is Fat and Photoshopped of the Day

There are a group of people out there who just don’t get it. They are mainstream, conventional and suburban. I came across one of those drones the other day and they were familiar with this site. They felt it was a great opportunity to tell me what I do isn’t legitimate, honest, honorable, or whatever other word they used, because I stopped listening. They asked me if I’d rather have my daughter marry a doctor, lawyer or accountant and I told him I didn’t have a daughter, but wouldn’t give a shit who she married just as long as she let me watch her give birth, because seeing a baby come out of a pussy, even my daughter’s pussy is like porn to me….

I was just trying to get the dude to fuck off, because I don’t really give a fuck what he thinks is legitimate, or whether he thinks what I write about is sleazy, useless drivel or porn, because it works for me. I get to sit on my ass all day, pretend I am busy, barely make enough money to pay for my server and if there is money left over, I can just drink more and not have to ask my wife to borrow shit, making her think I am dependent on her, but still remain enough of a hurtbag to not take any responsibility for myself or the family by paying for rent, food or utilities, because I just tell my wife I am working towards something, even though I am pretending and every day, the site is closer to dying, whether it is because of paparazzi agency lawsuits, FBI issued complaints from haters or not making the server fees cuz traffic is dying fast and companies don’t want to advertise…..or just my laziness….alcoholism or inability to make anything work….

But before I go, I decided I needed a purpose, something substantial, to really have next to my name in Wikipedia even though I tried to create a Wikipedia page about myself and shit got deleted, even though Perez Hilton and every other site have a Wikipedia page. I figured if I was the guy who outted something, or broke some story or even invented something, or brought something to light, then I would be legitimate, and not some hack with a really shitty computer. So that something I chose is to prove that Kim Kardashian is fat.

Now, I know it shouldn’t take that much work because shit is fucking obvious, so obvious my retarded neighbor who has the brain capacity of a 9 year old knows she’s fat, so it should be easy and easy works for me. I mean every girl I’ve ever bagged has been easy, every challenge I’ve put myself against has been easy, except for the time I wanted to walk 2 miles up hill because I didn’t have money for a bus and thougth I was going to die, but other than that, the only challenging thing I do is not drink myself to death.

So, I made the right choice in topic of study, because I don’t have much of an attention span, but I do know that every time I call this whore a pig, or fat, or disgusting, or claim she needs to work out, or get her stomach stapled like she was DJ AM or Roseanne, or Carnie Wilson, I get at least 3 emails, which is alot of me, telling me that the girls I like look like little boys, that Kim’s got some meat in all the right places and that she’s the hottest thing ever, and I just write back telling them that she’s just a product of photoshop, smoke and mirrors and you’re all getting fucked by the media.

She’s no natural beauty, she’s busted even with the plastic surgery she’s had and beyond her looks, she’s got nothing to offer the world, but leeching behavior that pretty much mocks the human race every day. There’s nothing hot about her, and the truth is that she’s overweight and in my new calling/ life work, in hopes to legitimize myself for Jewish judgemental, suburbanites trying to make their mom’s proud, who I really don’t care about, but the story fit into this post because it did happen yesterday, I came across a photoshop retouching company and guess who their portfolio guinea pig is Kardashian, probably because anyone who has seen a raw photo of her, know the work of a master needs to come in to make it worth lookin’ at…..and I ripped off their pics to prove my point that this bitch is a fucking cow, so stop emailing me about how she isn’t.

Picture 1 –

Before

After

Picture 2 –

Before

After

Picture 3 –

Before

After

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian|Photoshop

2008

18

Nov

YouTube Video: The Senior Choir Does Hip Hop of the Day

Here’s some video that rolled through my inbox of some old people singing hip hop in the choir. I made it about a minute into the eminem song because their timing was all off and shit fucked with my brain in a weird way. I mean how fucking complicated is it to say the lines in unison when you are in a fucking choir. Isn’t that the whole fucking point of what you do with your soon to be lifeless body that hasn’t got anything fucking better to do with it’s time than to go to church bazzaars and bake cookies and shit for the kids down the street who try to avoid you because you smell like fucking moth balls, but yeah, they go into other hip hop songs and I am sure it’s funny, so watch it.

Posted in:Hip Hop|Old People|Video

2008

18

Nov

Justin Timberlake’s Up On Jay-z’s Girls of the Day

So I saw this new Rihanna video called Rehab and she’s getting down pretty slutty to some Justin Timberlake motherfucker. I guess they are all jacked up on this Obama shit that they want to make one of their own, but then I saw this video of Justin Timberlake with the vintage Rihanna on SNL wearing a leotard for the boys since he’s into boys like Jessica Biel, and I don’t really get how he was in two places at the same time….I was going to go on some kind of rant, but it’s around 9 in the fucking morning and ranting is the last thing I want to do…..

Posted in:Beyonce|Jay-Z Girls|Justin Timberlake|Rihanna

2008

17

Nov

stepLINKS of the Day

I am trying to convince the 18 year old who had the sleazy party, or party that became sleazy because I was there to have another one, where clothing is optional, and pants are banned. It turns out she didn’t seem too happy with me molesting her guests this past weekend, she got some complaints about the creepy guy and she actually told me that I am not welcome near her or her friends ever again, I didn’t realize I had such a positive impact on people….I mean in my mind, I left the place a fuckin’ rockstar, but I guess they were just too young to get what pulling their pussies out of their pants is all about and how it’s a wholesome thing if no one but me and you are involved….I mean vaginas are meant to be used and while in the middle of flashing me, I didn’t hear any complaints…but like always, the day after the guilt comes in, but if they don’t want perversion, they should never have invited me in the first place, I guess they don’t read my site…

At least I made it out to one of them, unfortunately, I am still hung the fuck over, remembering bits and pieces and the older I get, the longer the hangovers last, I think my liver hates me.

Here are a ton of fucking links….to distract you from my lack of hustle. I’ll be back later.

Soldiers Doing the Cha Cha Slide
GO

Phoebe Price Softcore Porn…..
GO

Some Slut Doing a Little Webcam Dance in Her Underwear With Her Crazy Ass
GO

10 Weirdest Balloon Pop Videos….Ever
GO

Funny Video About a Sensitive Vibrator with the Emotions a Girl Needs….
GO

Holly Madison is Pretty Fucking Boring When She Has Clothes On
GO

Here’s The Video of Lindsay Lohan Getting a Bag Of Flour Thrown AT Her By Peta
GO

Rebecca Loos is Topless is St Tropez
GO

The Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Dating Show
GO

Some Slut Named Lisa in a Photoshoot…..
GO

Jessica Simpson Performs At Indian Casino’s Because HerHer Career is Over
Actually, It Never Started
GO

Jennifer Aniston: Hoe or Housewife?
GO

Everyone Loves a SI Swimsuit Shoot
GO

Shitty Golf Cart Accident
GO

2 Female Cousins Making Out….Weird…
GO

Andrew Dice Clay Looks Like He’s On His Last Legs…
GO

Prince Hates the Gays
GO

Her Name is Eva Wyral, I May Have Linked These Pics Before, But Her Tits are Nutty….
GO

Selena Gomez Ridin’ Hard….In a Picture Taken Right Out of A Pedophile’s Dream Sequence….
GO

Karaoke Anywhere You Go
GO

Make the Most of Your Monday Night
GO

Ronald McDonald is Really Living the Life
GO

Unless it Involves Old Women Flashing Their Pooters for Millions, Madonna is Last Person to Be Giving Advice to Anyone About Anything
GO

Fire Safety with Ready Freddy
GO

Adriana Lima is Looking a Bit Draggy
GO

Funny Way to Find Out About Your Divorce
GO

Fruit Boot Accident, Because Roller Blade Have Always Been For Fags…
GO

Crook Knocks a Clerk the Fuck Out
GO

The Failure Gallery
GO

Jessica Alba Throwback
GO

Helen Miren Talks About Rape
GO

Amy Winehouse Needs Her Own Reality Show
GO

360 Fence Fail
GO

A Digital PSA That Even Your Grandma Will understand
GO

Make Love The Only Way a Loser Like You Can. On the Internet
GO

Audrey Bitoni is a DD Fantasy
GO

Jenny Strips Down
GO

Lindsay Lohan Hates Scarlett Johansson
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

The Price Was Right
GO

Jesus is Flying!!
GO

Angelina Jolie Looks Like Wax
GO

Sema Car Show 2008
GO

Courtney Love Needs to Get Off The Fucking Drugs
GO

The One Second KO
GO

When a Pussy Attacks a Pussy
GO

Were I But a Simple Thong Bikini
GO

Kill Some Time Before Going to Bed With Some Porn Previews…
GO

Alessandra Ambrosio was in Miami
GO

She May Be Like 60, But I’d Still Fuck Goldie Hawn
GO

How to Fail At Rapping
GO

Vibrator Boyfriend
GO

Travis Barker Talks Plane Crash
GO

Lena Nicole Wants to Come Home
GO

Climb a Rock Wall like Spider Man
GO

Some Dude Does A Little Self Service in This Vintage Porn….
GO

Crazy Mother Destroys Her Kid’s Lap Top…
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS
Some Bigger Older Chick in Her See Through Lingerie
GO

Get 2 Girls To Masturbate For You At The Same Time….
GO

Tired of Suckin’ Dick for Coke…Make Your Own Money…Without Losing Your Dignity…
GO

BONUS – A Playmate Tells You What Not to Do on a Job Interview….Because You Know…She Chose to Get Naked Instead of a Real Job, Lazy Bitch….

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

17

Nov

Kim Kardashian Lets Her Ass Out of the Bag of the Day

I posted pictures of Kim Kardashian in some staged bikini pictures the other day, where she was covering her fat ass up because even she knows it’s disgusting, but as per her agreement with this paparazzi agency, they’ve taken the full bikini pictures, photoshopped the cellulite out, sent them to her people, got her approval and have no released them. It’s all part of the process of running the Kim Kardashian machine that has manipulated the public into thinking she’s some kind of sex symbol or some shit, and I am posting the pictures, because I hate her and everyone who thinks she’s beautiful…..when Ray J got it right the first time and used her as the urinal that she is, unfortunately something that was left on the editing room floor, because editing is really the foundation of her career and the only thing that makes her look decent enough to stomach.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Kim Kardashian

2008

17

Nov

Katt Williams Committed of the Day

Here is a video of Katt Williams who is some comedian who went fucking nuts. He missed a couple of gigs, got arrested for weapons charges and showed up at a motel in a bathrobe and towel wrapped around his head, talked some craziness and was hospitalized for being crazy because his family was concerned and because it made for a good defense argument when his court date comes around…I don’t really have anything to say about this, because I’ve never really heard his shit or much about him, but assume that you have and seeing people go nuts is always entertaining.

I remember when I lost my shit once and ended up pantless and crying in the corner of a grocery store, but that was a long time ago and I blame drugs because 2 days after that went down, I was completely back to my normal self….I am not sure how the clerk who I wrestled down is doing but I never heard from the cops or anything, so I assume she’s ok.

Here’s one of his performances on Weed…..

Posted in:Crazy|Katt Williams