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Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day
Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day
Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day
Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day
Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day
Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day
Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day
Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day
Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day
Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day

2008

17

Nov

AIDS is Cured of the Day

3 Comments »

In news that doesn’t affect you because you don’t get laid, Aids has been cured! But I wouldn’t go back to fucking the hookers you are bound to fuck when you realize it’s the only way you can get laid without condoms, or hitting up Gay Bath Houses for some bareback ass fucking, because they cured this dude of Aids by genetically altering him and being genetically altered isn’t really technologically developed enough to make it a household process when you accidentally fuck that girl who smells like feces raw, it’s an isolated case, but it’s something I never thought I’d see in my lifetime, so I guess it’s worth celebrating. So put on a pair of your tightest boy shorts or assless pants and grab your gag ball and do a little dance for modern medicine….


Read the Article….
GO

Posted in:Aids|Cure

2008

17

Nov

Russell Simmons’ Molests a Girl of the Day

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Hip Hop Mogul and Adult Lisp Enthusiast Russell Simmons was out in a bikini and he pulled a groupie sluts tit out of her bikini and it’s really not that big of a deal. I mean every chance I get to pull an unsuspecting girl’s tit out of whatever she’s wearing I take, and being Russell Simmons pretty much means he can get away with this shit everywhere he goes and there’s nothing wrong with that, because unlike me, the girls embrace that shit and run to the family and friends to brag about how they met him at the beach and how he liked them so much he pulled their tit out, while I just get beat up by their boyfriends or kicked out of the club or bar or coffee shop I am at when I pull those kinds of stunts. I like to think of it as my own version of Turrets, whenever a hot tit is in my face, it’s almost impossible to not grab it, I probably need therapy, but I don’t think it’s anything I have to change….

The real issue is that why shouldn’t Russell Simmons do this to random people. It’s not like her intentions in talking or hanging with him are anything sincere, she’s an opportunist and an opportunist needs to be put in her place, let’s just hope Russell Simmons didn’t stop at pullin her tit out and got a blow job or anal out of all this….

Posted in:Bikini|Russell Simmons|Tit

2008

17

Nov

Chloe Sevigny Bikini Pictures of the Day

5 Comments »

Chloe Sevingy is another one of those celebrities I don’t understand why they are famous. She was like the original American Apparel hipster back in the 90s, when she got Aids in Kids and lived in Manhatten in some loft, hanging with fashion designers, musicians, artists and drug addicts. She would go to all the fashion shows and was seen at all the events and was eventually eaten up by the media and labeled a fashion icon, despite lookin’ like a fuckin’ clown who took herself way too fucking seriously, making me wish she had actually got Aids in Kids so that she’d be too buy throwing up from the Aids Cocktail to go out to all the events she was at…I guess I just don’t like seeing girls who I don’t find hot getting all this positive attention.

The only redeeming quality she has is that she gave a bareback blowjob in Brown Bunny and I’ve always been the kind of guy who pretty much encourages real sex in mainstream movies, because I hate that candy-coated soap opera love making shit you see in movies, it fucks up girls perspective on how their supposed to get fucked, and leaves them unsatisfied because you didn’t open-mouth kiss them and rub against them like you were the only two people in the world, but instead flipped her over, fucked her from behind and “accidentally” came in her ass, and claimed you didn’t realize you were in the wrong hole, despite intentionally being in the wrong hole…ya know….

Eitehr way, she brought her pasty skinny body out in a bikini…..

Posted in:Bikini|Chloe Sevigny

2008

17

Nov

Ryan Seacrest Doesn’t Care About Dead People of the Day

3 Comments »

When Ryan Seacrest was asked if it was Paula Abdul’s fault some fan killed herself outside of Paula’s house, his reaction was really heart felt, you know like he’s really let the death of one of the American Idol contestants affect him. He says something along the lines of Paula being a sweetheart and it being an isolated incident, something we already knew, because Paula doesn’t have any more fans, all the other ones she had have offed themselves a long time ago, or moved onto more relevant stars, putting their Paula Abdul cutouts album on a shelf next to their action-figure collection, but either way, it looks like he’s more interested in running inside to look at himself in the mirror and that makes him a self-absorbed asshole, and since I jerk off to everything Ryan Seacrest. I figured I’d post this.

Posted in:Asshole|Ryan Seacrest

2008

17

Nov

Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show of the Day

3 Comments »

I had no idea the Victoria’s Secret fashion show was happening this weekend, I don’t really keep on top of anything, but I noticed that on Thursday and Friday a lot of pictures of the models together were surfacing, so it only made sense that when they got them all in one room together, Victoria’s Secret milked them for everything they could since they pretty much own these bitches.

Sure, they have good bodies, but after an hour of lookin at these pictures, I got fucking bored. Maybe I am gay, maybe all this is repetitive, maybe I only find Adriana Lima hot, maybe I need to see pussy to really appreciate lingerie pictures, you know use them as a little masturbation foreplay before working up to these girls spread open with dick in their mouths, but I guess these are better than nothing…..

The truth is I find Klum washed up, Marisa Miller looks like a college party girl on her 35th birthday, Miranda Kerr’s got a face of an Owl, Ambrosio’s a mom, Naomi Campbell a monster and the rest of the immigrants found in various third world countries aren’t really known to me so I can’t really formulate an opinion.

I am down with the Rihanna dominatrix style in some of the pictures, you know the metal corsets and straps and boots, but I really don’t think this shit is anything worth getting excited about.

Just so you, I don’t get into these pictures because my wife is hotter than these bitches and I share a bed with her every night, but I’m not braggin’ because she’s only hotter than they are because she’s pumps out more head than a portable heater. I thank obesity for that shit…..here are some of the pics your virginity has probably already seen, saved and printed because they are everywhere, including MSN.com, so I’m just the slowest site out there, and I am okay with that….maybe if I had a job or responsibilities I’d care a little more….but that’s never going to happen, so you’ll have to be satisfied with the day old bargain bin I buy my baked goods out of….but the internet version….if you know what I mean…..

Posted in:Fashion Show|Victoria's Secret

2008

15

Nov

Miranda Kerr and Her Friends in White Bikinis of the Day

5 Comments »

Bikini models pretty much have the hottest bodies out there and when Victoria’s Secret that they are the leaders of the eastern European and South American Sex Trade get down to it, they manage to pay the best bodies out there to get into their bikinis and give you something to look at that you’ll never be able to afford….

I really wish I knew Victoria’s other secret and that is how to manipulate girls to get half naked. I assume that it involves money and threats on the lives of their family members, because no matter what sweet talking I do, the only bitches I have managed to get to take off their clothes have always been overweight with saggy tits, acne or red scabby shit that looks like acne all over their body, stretch marked and unshowered. The kind of girl that no one would ever really want to see even if they were fully clothed, you know the kind of girl you cross the street to avoid brushing up against, and the only time that ever really works for me is if a lot of alcohol is involved and instead of laughing at the experience, I tend to marry them, so I clearly have some work to do to get to this quality level, but I guess you gotta start somewhere, and the little mistakes you make along the way, even if they weigh 300 pounds, just teach you not to make the same mistake again, mainly because the bitch won’t let me shit without running it past her….it’s like I’m in fucking prison motherfuckers….PRISON…….but at least Miranda Kerr and her tight little body give me hope that it’s not this bad for everyone out there….that my suffering balances out all the good pussy being scored….and my happiness is a small sacrifice to make for the benefit of mankind…..

Bonus – Some Other Victoria’s Secret Sluts in Bathing Suits and This Shoot….

Posted in:Bikini|Miranda Kerr|Victoria's Secret

2008

15

Nov

Kim and Kourtney Kardashian and Kristin Cavallari in their Bikinis of the Day

18 Comments »

Kim Kardashian is a fat chick who has no business being famous or landing work. The only thing she’s ever accomplished is the best damn Paris Hilton rip off out there. She talks exactly like her, she pulled off the sex tape shit like her and it got her work, like her….but that’s about all she’s done. I look at these pictures and see that even Kim knows she’s fat, otherwise that ass wouldn’t be covered up like the birth defect and result of laziness and bad eating habits that it is….but for some reason, people still think she’s some kind of natural beauty, despite not being neither beautiful or natural. Just because she denies getting work done, doesn’t mean she hasn’t had work done, this is a useless bitch we’re dealing with and as a useless bitch, everything that comes out of her mouth is fuckin’ useless…..

I guess she found a couple people who are more useless than her to hang with in their bikinis and despite hating them, I don’t hate bikinis and I am posting this shit despite them ruining this shit….

On a side note, if you’re wondering why Kirstin Cavallari is pretty much irrelevant, I think it’s gotta do with the fact that she’s got a shitty ass, a pot belly and the length of her head, is longer that the length of her torso and that’s some bobble head shit, I can’t really grasp…..oh and because she didn’t agree to do The spinoff of Laguna Beach that you may have heard of called The Hills…..because I guess she was delusional and thought she was too talented for that or some shit….

Either way, here are the rest of the pictures:

Posted in:Bikini|Kim Kardashian|Kourtney Kardashian|Kristin Cavallari

2008

15

Nov

Lohan Gets White Powder Dumped All Over Her….of the Day

5 Comments »

I have been ripping into Peta for being a bunch of hippie fucks who don’t see the value in sacrificing the life of a useless animal to make luxurious and expensive clothing for the rich, but they have won me over. Last night, when Lohan was making her way into the VIP room of some club in Paris, some crazed big bushed treehugger threw flour all over her. It may not be the eggs I had reached out to my UK reader to throw at her, but it is still a cake ingredient and it put Lohan in her useless place. On a side note, it was the first time a white substance got close her her face that she didn’t lap up in excitement. That concludes my obvious joke of the day. Next time let’s just hope they throw something that hurts a little more, like a brick, because I think Lohan deserves a little pain for polluting our lives…


Here’s the story:
GO

Posted in:Assaulted|Lindsay Lohan

2008

15

Nov

Obama Goes To The Internet While Palin Goes to Florida of the Day

3 Comments »

Your soon to be President has decided to use the Internet to keep in contact with his people, he plans on doing one of these addresses a week and I think that’s a good sign because everyone uses the internet, and will be up to date on what’s going on, instead of in the dark like they have been the last 200 years. It’s his way of getting America involved and informed and I think it is some pretty clever thinking, but if he really wants this video to work, and get the top rated Youtube views, l he’s gotta do is throw in a couple tits, maybe some girl having a stripper pole accident, or a gay guy screaming to leave Britney alone and a clever comedy song because this political shit is pretty dry fucking content, but I thought it was a sign that the internet’s actually a serious thing and not just a place to hustle chicks and jerk off to every type of porn imaginable….and Obama turning to the Internet means it’s ok to sit in front of your computer and waste away and I guess that’s the kind of validation I need.

On a side note, when I pushed play on this shit, my wife’s dog went fucking nuts, he started growling and barking and was really not feeling it, and he’s black and only barks at videos with other animals in it, so I don’t know what that says about Obama, but I do know that he’s not the only republican dog at there and here’s America’s favorite lipstick-wearing republican pit bull in Florida drinking and slackin’ off, in a pair of short shorts and I figured you’d like that, since you want to fuck her and you think you have a chance because she seems like she’s just that fuckin’ dumb….

Posted in:Internet|Obama|Sarah Palin|Shorts

2008

15

Nov

Jodie Sweetin’s Tits at Some Event of the Day

3 Comments »

Jodie Sweetin/Stephanie Tanner was at some event celebrating her best friend, she brought her dog, I guess her meth had a prior engagement.

In case you don’t know, she suffered child star syndrome, got hooked on meth, went to rehab, got her life together, got married a second time to some nobody, had a kid in April, all while having the biggest fucking tits that don’t look all that big today considering she should be breast feeding still…..

I heard that the first time she lit up to get high, she was reading an article on how the Olsen’s took Full House to the fucking top by starting some billion dollar company out of it, while all she got was de-virginized by Bob Saget’s finger between scenes….but I could have made that up. I have a hard time determining things I’ve seen and things I’ve thought I’ve seen while drunk, so anything’s possible….

Posted in:Jodie Sweetin|Tits