I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

13

Nov

Amy Winhouse Does a Shot of the Day

So here’s graceful bird-faced Amy Winehouse doing some shots to celebrate her 8 hours of sobriety, I mean if you can’t smoking rock 4 times instead of 5, being sober, but I guess it’s these kinds of baby steps that will eventually bring her back into the limelight singing her songs for her fans, unless she dies first, which she will. I mean I’ve seen crackheads and when they get to this level, it pretty much ends in a pool of blood on the street corner or in some dingy hotel room, but the difference between the crackheads I know and Winehouse, is that she’s got enough money to not do the things that usually end up killing the girls I know, like prostitution….

The truth is that Jewish people don’t die. They are like cockroaches who roam the earth lookin for ways to make money and fuck people over. I’m just kidding, so you can take your anti-semetic comments back, it’s just a joke, it’s not my fault you don’t have a sense of humor and can’t separate yourself from truth and really bad comedy.

Speaking of truth, I don’t find Winehouse all that bad. I mean if I go out to bars in this city, I always run into Jewish girls, just earlier today I was walking down the street to the bus stop and saw a jewish girl walk out of a hair salon, and I coulda sworn, if she didn’t shower for a month, let her hair grow out, and did some weird make-up, she’d be Amy Winehouse’s twin, and this happens all the fucking time to me. Sometimes I am tempted to videotape myself asking these randoms for autographs, but figure calling someone Amy Winehouse is considered an insult.

Maybe everyone makes a big deal about this slag killing herself and lookin’ like death, because people are superficial and she looks like their daughters (I’m talking to you Adam Sandler ) and the whole thing just hits a little too close to synagogue, when all Winehouse needs is a little hair and make-up and she’ll be back to the Sabbath in no time….

These pictures remind me of a dare I once made with a friend. Yes, we are 13 year olds mentally, and dare each other to do stupid shit sometimes. The dare was to pay his bar tab if he went outside and convinced a homeless street kid to do spring break body shots with him. So he comes back with this disgusting girl, I am talking ratty as fuck and stinking of stinky unwashed pussy, and next thing you know, she’s on the bar and whip cream’s on her dirty stomach, and motherfucker goes to town on her. After he’s done and we all are disgusted that he went through with it, he decides to keep her around and drink the night away with her, take her home and to this day, they have never spent a day apart. I like to think of myself as a modern day matchmaker, but my friend didn’t have many options and let’s face it, either did the street kid he picked up….and they lived happily ever after in trash, drugs and dirty bedsheets….

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Shot

2008

13

Nov

Basketball Fight for Obama of the Day

I don’t watch sports ever, but figured since your president is half black, it’d only be appropriate to show you because Steve Nash the white dude, comes in to take his aggression out on his fellow black players because he can’t deal with the US voting Obama or some shit and this is way to get involved. The only flaw in my theory is that this white boy can’t jump is Canadian, but until otherwise proved, I am calling this a race war that stems from the White House.

I went to meet this girl, who was supposed to model naked for the site for free, but didn’t end up getting there in time. I did however get to take the bus in the rain and it was fucking amazing. Made me really happy that I didn’t have a car, you know being smothered with all those nice wet people who smell just as bad as I do, really makes us closer as a species. I mean all you fuckers with your cars, staying disconnected and living in your own bubble, not having to interact with old balding ladies who ask you for your seat because they are old, pulling out a piece of a chocolate bar her crazy ass must have been saving the last 20 years for a rainy fucking day, that was today, because when she unwrapped her mangled tinfoil wrapping and pulled out a stale piece of chocolate and started chewing on it with her toothless face, moaning with delight. I wanted to fucking throw up. Bitch could have waited til she got back to whatever institution she was livin’ in to do that shit, but instead wanted to share her weird habits with the world. The good news is, there were school girls pretty much everywhere to balance out the fat man my dick was pressed into, making the whole thing a waste of fuckin’ time, but better than it coulda been.

I don’t know why I am posting this video, I just think today’s a fucking horrible day and I’m doing my part to keep it that way….

Bonus….Some racist vandalized 40 cars to get his racist message across, I am not going to jump to conclusions or anything, but they may want to check Steve Nash’s house for some evidence…

Posted in:Basketball|Fight|Obama

2008

13

Nov

Monica Cruz Panty Upskirt of the Day

I just realized I am late for something – so I decided to throw up some pictures to tide you over….who cares what I have to say anyway…but I will say that Monica Cruz is the kind of girl who’s panties I want to eat….I will be back in a minute, I just told this bitch I’d meet her for lunch, and now she’s standing in the rain somewhere and I’m hungry for free lunch…..

Update: Monica Cruz is the hotter Cruz sister, I mean Tom is just totally out of control and doesn’t shut up about all that scientology shit, while Penelope’s got a nose that can sniff out drugs in luggage at the airport, the kind that hangs over her top lip and makes you think you’re dealing with a fucking muppet on Sesame Street, not to mention put your penis size to shame when it beats you out in a dick size contest or when she tries to suck you off, but can’t get passed the tip because her fuckin’ nose is slammin’ your pelvis…..

That’s all I have to say about that….

Posted in:Monica Cruz|Panty|Upskirt

2008

13

Nov

Jodie Marsh Dyking Out of the Day

I just realized I am late for something – so I decided to throw up some pictures to tide you over….who cares what I have to say anyway…which is too bad because I could really rip into this Jodie Marsh slut, but I got responsibilities man…..

Update: She’s an attention craving whore who got famous for having tits and being a shitty glamor model in the UK, the only way to stay relevant was to take it up a notch, and since lesbianism is the new thing, it was only natural to go that route, unfortunately her lesbian lover, looks like a lesbian and like Katy Perry, ruins all fantasies that Jodie Marsh fans may have. This bitch seriously looks like a cowboy who opens beer bottles with her teeth while rippin off dicks and raisin them to the gods knowing she’s done her lesbian duty in hating cock….

Posted in:Jodie Marsh|Lesbian

2008

13

Nov

Alessandra Ambrosio Is Not Pregnant Anymore of the Day

I just realized I am late for something – so I decided to throw up some pictures to tide you over….who cares what I have to say anyway…because I am just going to tell fat chicks to take this girl’s lead, she’s defied all odds of being pregnant.

Update: At least 25 men have sent these pictures to their wives they married and started a family with, who look a solid 40 pounds heavier than they did on their wedding night, letting them know that they are onto them, and know that just because they got knocked the fuck up, doesn’t mean they have to eat a bag of chips or pint of ice cream, every fucking night of their lives, leading them to become the fucking mess that they are today, because if Ambrosio can snap right back with a little dedication, their lazy asses can to, so stop fucking slacking and making excuses you fat dirty whore who lied to me, tricked me, and ruined my life but who I still call my family….

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bathing Suit

2008

13

Nov

Olsen Twins Versus Peta Round 2 of the Day

I hate animal rights activists. You know instead of protesting people who are hating on fur, because they are jealous those people can afford fur, since the beginning of time, fur was considered to be a sign of status. You know, Kings would wear lion manes and other exotic animal furs brought to them as gifts from explorers and other kingdoms.

I met a king once, while not really a king, but a guy who would be trap mice, rats and squirrels, to skin and sew together into blankets and clothing, so he too could stay warm, like the royalty only a lot worse smelling. He was a homeless dude who used to hunt city animals in parks and suburban areas, because he didn’t want to be one of those 9 to 5 assholes who conformed to society, but instead chose to fend for himself and be self sufficient in the urban wilderness without needing much money. He invited me to his really disgusting shanty under the bridge once, and hanging from the walls were the furs of various animals drying, I’m talking shit he hunted or found, like rats, squirrels, cats, skunks and various animal meats being turned into some kind of jerky for him to eat during the cold winter months. Like an Indian (feather not dot), he’d use all their parts, the meat for food, the bones for arts and crafts and tools, the fur for warmth, and while feeling that I walked into a shitty horror movie, or a time of yesteryear, he took me over to the clothes he made, and it was fuckin disgusting patchy and dirty animals you would try not to get near because of rabies turned into disgusting pieces of clothing you wouldn’t want to go near because it was disgusting….but yeah, these Peta people seriously need something better to do, who cares what people are wearing, sure we all like animals, but it is survival of the fuckin’ fittest, and if you can afford good fur, you should be able to buy it, and if you can’t you should not take my homeless friends lead, because it was disgusting and probably unsanitary, but you should definitely not waste your time being jealous of people who can afford it because you looks like a total asshole…..

Posted in:Olsen Twins

2008

13

Nov

Paris Hilton Causes a Riot Outside Some Skin Care Spa of the Day

I’ve just spent the last 30 minutes on the Kim Sommerville Clinic Paris Hilton was seen leaving, trying to figure out what she had done. I originally thought that it was an abortion clinic, or an Aids walk in center, but then I used google. After realizing that she wasn’t getting the herpes scraped off her cunt, or her tubes untied, and that this was a place of beauty, I started thinking that maybe she got some kind of skin peel, because like a common coke addicted whore, 10 years deep into being a coke addicted whore, your skin on your face starts to fall the fuck off. Then I thought maybe she got some hair removal, but figured she would have got that shit laser therapy earlier on in her coke addicted whore days, because when you are high and fucking all the guys you can find, you don’t have time to shave your legs or pussy. Then I thought maybe they were helping fix her lazy eye, you know with her wearing the sunglasses out of the place, and then I realized why the fuck am I trying to figure out why Paris Hilton was at a fucking day spa getting whatever treatment she got, because originally when I saw this video, I was wondering why the fuck people cared enough to riot outside the fucking place, but then got sucked into the fuckin’ hype that is her vagina. That’s kinda its trick.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Skin Care|Spa

2008

13

Nov

Kim Kardashian Gets a Pedicure of the Day

Fat chicks love taking care of their feet. Every single fat chick I have met has had an extensive shoe collection, because no matter how fat you are, or how much weight you gain, you can always pull off a pair of shoes. They are the clothing article with a lot of give, because they don’t make you feel like shit when you try them on at Payless or wherever the fuck you buy your shoes you fat slob of a woman, and that’s why it is important to treat your feet like gold by getting pedicures….the other reason it’s important for fat chicks to take care of their shit by getting pedicures, is because they can’t bend over and do it themselves, their fat stomachs get in the way, so back up, or an army of Vietnamese woman are needed for back-up.

I was going to say that Kim Kardashian gets pedicures because the weight her feet have to endure has a pretty negative effect on the condition of her feet, like back when I first started dating my wife and she worked as a cashier at a department store, every night she’d take her stinky fuckin’ callused feet out of her discount shoes and soak them in our salad bowl before asking me to rub the shits, making it pretty much impossible for me to ever eat salad again, or think about, because I did used to rub them, I was more of a bitch back then and she had me by the fucking balls and I am ashamed to admit it, despite having to live with the horrible memories being punishment enough.

I am kinda losing focus here, but here’s Kardashian getting her feet rubbed for the foot fetishists…

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Pedicure

2008

13

Nov

stepLINKS of the Day


I got this email and I am drunk and don’t feel like writing my boring shit…so I decided to post it:

can you help me by showing these pics to everyone.im not trying to be famous or anything.hey man these bitches really fucked me over in life.the one with the white dress and the one bending over are the ones that did it.im now broke,and almost homeless.they stole all my money.at least i still have my hotdogs…….TOODLES!!!!!

By the looks of these girls, even a date to McDonald’s would leave any middle class man homeless and broke. They just like Big Mac’s that much. Leave them alone and dude, no offense or anything, but you seriously have some bad fucking taste. These are girls I wouldn’t let know my name if I ever got with them in my drunkest of states, and even in my drunkest of states, don’t think I’d bite the 12 inch sub that is her clit, so letting her ruin your life is way beyond me….these aren’t girls you date, so good luck with that….and in the meantime of getting your life back together, here are my links:

Paula Abdul’s Stalker Took Herself Out
GO

The One in a Million Wheel
GO

A Brazilian Fashion Show Make Will Any Bad Day Better
GO

I Wanna Take Kate Beckinsales Spandex Pants Off With My Teeth
GO

Tara Reid Doesn’t Look Half Bad When She Covers Up the Disgustingness That Is Her Body
GO

Nikki Coa Has Some Side Boob Action to Go With Her Trout Lips
GO

Miranda Kerr is Just Plain Sexy
GO

The 9 Hottest Iranian Women Ever
GO

Wank Fantasys from the Far East
GO

Tera Patrick is Worth It
GO

Take a Load Off and Fine the Porn That’s Right for You
GO

Naomi Watts is About to Bust
GO

Celebrity Phone Tap Fun
GO

More Proof of Why Women Shouldn’t Drive
GO

Because Everyone Needs a Slut in Their Life, Eespecially Virgins Like You
GO

Salma Hayek Can Breast Feed Me All She Wants
GO

Some People Will Do Anything on a Dare
GO

Belly Flops Make Me Smile
GO

How About a Lego Fashion Show
GO

Anna Would Make a Good Lover
GO

Gotta Love Some Blonde on Blonde
GO

Swedish Beastiality Ring Gets Busted…..Which Will Leave A Lot of Animals Lonely….
GO

Banana Deep Throat Goes Wrong.
GO

Too Bad The Person Who Drugges Lauren Conrad Didn’t Kill Her
GO

Find a Girl to Fuck and Stop Lying to Your Friends
GO

Alicia Keys, WTF Are You Wearing?
GO

Let’s Watch That Indian Tv Host Get Slapped Again, Just For Fun
GO

Sorry Adam Sandler, Your Kid Is Fucking Ugle
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

She Want’s It In Her Mouth
GO

We Love You Charlie Manson
GO

Asian Fetish Video
GO

Crazy in Japan
GO

Monica Cruz is All I Want in Life
GO

Get Sex The Only Way I Know You Can
GO

Luscious Laura Lee
GO

Kathy Likes The Great Outdoors
GO

Katie Couric Talks Sarah Palin
GO

Old Yeller Needs to Calm the Fuck Down
GO

Way to Go, Peter Pan!!
GO

FIRE FEET!!
GO

Make a Jelly Fish Shooter
GO

Don’t Ruin My Fuck Session, Bro!
GO

ENTER THE EAGLES OF DEATH METAL FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN TICKETS, BACKSTAGE PASSES AND TIME WITH THE BAND….
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS:

Some Black on Black Porn
GO

Fat Lesbian Goes Topless
GO

Some Chick in What Looks Like a Homemade Photoshoot…
GO

Some Girl Crawls Around Topless
GO

A Gilr and her Glass Dildo
GO

Some Guy’s Bondage Fetish
GO

Some Guys Foot Fetish
GO

Some Random Sluts
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

12

Nov

Obama Girl in Costume for Obama of the Day

You know that in this Obama Bitch’s head she’s got some kind of delusion about her place in the world. You know she goes to parties and tells people that she’s actually had something to do with Obama winning the election because she got half naked in a Youtube video that was timed properly and millions of people saw her Kim Kardashian face in action.

So in reality, Obama made this bitch relevant to have pictures of her in some slutty outfit next to his cardboard cutout do the internet rounds, which wouldn’t be the first time a black man makes a girl dance and now this one trick pony has a fun future ahead of her, at least for the next 8 years, singing her Obama song to anyone willing to listen, because the truth is that she had no impact on the election, but the election will have a huge impact on her and be her biggest curse when she can’t live her useless role in it down….

My biggest curse, working on a computer I dropped, that was a piece of shit in the first place and trying to distract myself long enough to not walk away and drink, which I think I’ve lost to the battle to my urge because I am leaving now to go drink…..I’ll be back though, unless I die, which is always possible.

Here’s Her I Got a Crush on Obama Song…..

Posted in:Obama|Obama Girl