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Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day

Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day

Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day

Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day

Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day

2008

Oct

Suzanne Somers is a Hot Old Lady of the Day

6 Comments »

You know you never hear dudes brag about how dry their girl’s vaginas are. Like you never here shit like “My girl never gets wet, her pussy is like a cold platter of deli meat, and every time I try sticking my dick in it, it’s like fucking sandpaper”, but that was before I saw these pictures of Suzanne Somers, because despite knowing that she’s in her 60s and has a pretty hot body for a 60 year old, despite the whole gunt she should try to thighmaster off a little more aggressively, you know her husband is bragging to all his friends about her. You know he’s totally down with her menopausal old lady lack of natural lubricant pussy, because of what it’s attached to, and I guess I am posting this to give all you girls who don’t even look this good now, some genetic evidence that maybe it is time to kill yourself, because it’s only going to get worse for you while women like this roam the planet and you can really only blame your parents for bringing you into this cold dark world….not that I think suicide is ever an answer, I am just throwing another reason to your list of reasons you should do it when you run throuhg the whole pros/cons in your head every night. Suicide is really only encouraged if you are the cast of The Hills or Paris Hilton and the truth is that there are a lot of ugly people out there who get by in this superficial world because there are a lot of desperate dudes out there who will fuck anything, even you, so maybe you should take on a job at a call center or behind the scenes somewhere, because we all know people are nicer to you when they don’t have to see that wretched face and you can save that money for plastic surgery or nice things to distract yourself from the fate that is your life…

Posted in:Hot|old|Suzanne Somers

2008

Oct

Aubrey O’Day is a Disaster of the Day

4 Comments »

Aubrey O’Day reminds me of using too much E or at least her career does. One minute, she’s flying high on her reality show, in a band then the next she’s kicked the fuck off the show and out of the band, for being an attention whore slut that draws negative attention to Diddy, making her doomed to a life of fake tits and colorfully dyed dogs. It’s like the time I went to a rave years ago, not really knowing what to expect, and popping a couple of pills my friend gave me and realizing it kicked in an hour into it because the people dressed like circus performers in furry pants didn’t piss me off anymore, actually nothing pissed me off and I was meeting people, hugging strangers and was convinced that I was in heaven and these little freaky kids were fuckin’ angels carrying me to a better place, then all of a sudden, my brain froze and when I looked at their faces they were skeletons and demons and I ran in the corner trying to hide, thinking it was over for me…..and it took me about 2 years to really believe that I hadn’t died that night and that I was actually not in some weird afterlife, but in real life, and my friends were happy when I stopped grabbing their faces in a panic to see if they were actually there with me and that I wasn’t just dreaming the whole thing. Needless to say, I never did E again and my story probably has nothing to do with Aubrey O’Day and her busted up face, but I am too far behind to bother editing it now…..

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|Disaster

2008

Oct

Kim Kardashian’s Wonder Woman of the Day

9 Comments »

Kim Karashian dressed like Wonder Woman in it wasn’t wonderful, it was a fucking disaster and the only thing that I am left wondering is how the fuck she managed to find a costume that fits her fat ass. I went through a phase where I wanted to dress my wife up as various obvious fantasies, because I thought it would make me whoring myself to her for free rent seem less like one of Discovery Channel’s dirty jobs and more like I was playing out some of my fantasies/fetishes and I could only find a beast of a woman to go along with it. Like the time I almost scored a threesome with 2 small breasted fat girls with acne because probably hadn’t showered the last 2 weeks because they were too busy eating, something Kim Kardashian know way too much about, at least that what her big dumpy ass looks like it does in this stupid costume.

For the record, I’ve seen the sex tape and trust me she’s pretty much got no super powers, unless you consider being used as a black man’s toilet a super power, or maybe her power lies in her ability to sit on her fat ass all day mustering up the power to lift her lazy self off the couch and out to an event/ the kitchen…but I don’t think it is one according to comic book motherfuckers like you….

Either way, look at the pics.

Posted in:Halloween|Kim Kardashian

2008

Oct

Kendra Wilkinson’s Got Some Short on of the Day

3 Comments »

Kendra Wilkinson is the kind of girl who doesn’t need to dress up for Halloween, because every time she leaves her house, she’s in a slutty costume. The only thing that would make any sense as a costume for her would be a snowsuit to cover her slut ass up, or maybe naked with a dildo in her ass to take her slutty behavior up a notch, but I in her defense, not that she needs to rationalize her sluttiness, because we all like sluts, but when you’re a Playmate who worked for Heffner as one of his staged girlfriend for a publicity stunt after he found in some small town and decided to cultivate her into what you see today, like a modern day oil prospector, but instead of the real oil, he goes to the baby oil wrestling championships at local stripclubs to find his pink and blonde gold. So being a slut is kinda all she really knows.

Speaking of Heffner, i thought about going as a poor version of him, you know get my wife and her friends in their plus sized lingerie, while wearing a ratty ass robe and a wifebeater, with a can of beer and a hand rolled cigarette, but figured it’d be lame, even if I took a viagra and walked around with a boner all night, so I’ll just watch people make asses of themselves, rather than being a person making an ass of myself, not that I don’t already do that daily, but you get what I mean….

Either way, I guess Kendra Wilkinson is going as herself before she met Hef, you know when she was just a small town whore, with an abusive husband who beat the fuck out of her, but was smart enough to do it where you couldn’t see the marks, unless she was wearing her stripper outfit, in which case they could always blame the bruises on a pole accident.

Posted in:Abused|Halloween|Kendra Wilkinson

2008

Oct

Halloween is Today Not Yesterday of the Day

3 Comments »

Today is the only happiest day of the year for sex offenders and the kids they want to commit sex offenses on. They can dress up like something they always dreamed they could be like a superhero, a sports star, or whatever else people dress as all to run up to strange people’s houses asking for candy, or to be the strange person at the house who get parental consent to have some alone time with endless amounts of kids….without the police getting involved, unless of course they get carried away and masturbate during the process and not to the memories of it…..

I didn’t end up going out last night, I am just posting late cuz I am lazy and not because I drank til 10 am, because I realized it wasn’t actually Halloween and figured that since I hate people that overkill holidays, like I overkill jokes, you know getting dressed up days before the actual day, it just didn’t make sense for me to be not be one of them, unless of course, I wanted to get confusing and make my costume of a guy who dresses up for Halloween on days that aren’t Halloween, but that seems pretty fuckin’ confusing. I think I’m going with my DJ AM idea, where I douse myself in gasoline and when the clock strikes midnight, I light up and run through the dance floor, or maybe I’ll go as nothing because dressing up is lame….especially a day early….

Unfortunately, these people didn’t realize that Halloween is today and not yesterday. Probably because they have nothing better to do, since they are pretty irrelevant….

Here’s Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt as Horse Faced Whore with Fake Tits and Her Fake Latch on Fame Hungry Boyfriend…..unfortunately they didn’t go with the murder suicide I’ve been hoping to read about in the news….

Traci Bingham Dressed Like a Slutty Cop

Mariah Carey as a Slutty Fire Fighter

Looks like civil servants were the theme of the night, and I find that pretty offensive and a sign of famous people trying to use the media to get their politics across, you know because police and firefighters are a sign of the communism or socialism since they are paid out of people’s taxes money to keep the public safe and from breaking the law they created to control the public or from burning down like DJ AM….

Posted in:Halloween|Heidi Montag|Mariah Carey|Traci Bingham

2008

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

6 Comments »

stepLINKS
stepLINKS of the Day

So I got this email:

Hey Asshole,

Your website isn’t too bad, but I think your a fucking loser. And, that “your so gay” joke is not your joke, dick. You stole it from ’40 year-old virgin’, and it’s just pathetic to be so unoriginal, and play it off as your own material. I’m sure you don’t read these e-mails, but in case you do………. your so gay. That’s the whole joke.

My response, whatever. I am insulted that I unknowingly ripped off a Judd Apatow movie, that’s pretty much worse than death to me, because I hate his unfunny shit, but I guess it happens. I don’t intentionally go out there and steal other people’s shit, I guess it just happens without me knowing.

I guess it’s impossible to fully not be influenced by the media even when you don’t read, watch TV or Movies, and despite never seeing 40 Year Old virgin, I guess I am on some higher level telepathically channeling their you’re so gay jokes and for that, I apologize. I would never want to subject my reader to that kind of fluffy crap that the dude who called me out on this shit probably jerks off to, making him not someone I care to impress…

But I would want to subject you to a whole lot of links…enjoy.

On a side note, I just saw what looked like a chewed up cigar on the ground and thought the dog had gotten into my stash of half smoked cigars, and after picking it up, I realized that I was holding one of his shits. Good fuckin’ times.

Joe The Plumber’s 15 Minutes of Fame May Not Be Up Quite Yet
GO

Fun With the Trendmill
GO

Abigail Clancy Makes ME Want to Stuff Her Like a Turkey and it’s Not Even Thanksgiving….
GO

Sophie Monk is an Attention Whore
GO

Carole Bouquet Topless
GO

Blake Lively is a School Girl
GO

Orange Orange Smile!
GO

Sexy Teacher Strips for Students CRAZY Video
GO

Hot First Ladies Who Don’t Blow Like Monica Lewinsky
GO

This Is How Philly Celebrates A World Championship
GO

Lohan is Wasting Away
GO

25 Most Awesome Horror Kills
GO

Tits For Obama
GO

Don’t Forget the Parking Brake
GO

Web Slut Sanctuary
GO

Photoshop Contests!!
GO

Obama Girl Robocalls
GO

Sandra Shine is a Glamour Girl
GO

Corey Haim is Getting Married
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

Some Wrestling chick Looks Like a Goonie
GO

Pictures from a Trashy Fucking Wedding
GO

Paper Boy!!
GO

Lady is the Boss
GO

Jessica Simpson and Carrie Underwood Are Still Fighting Over Who is Fatter
GO

Who Knew Beyonce Was so Flexible?
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Body Board Wipe Out
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Misfortune Cookie
GO

Don’t Worry Darling, Hillbillies Scare the Shit Out Of Me Too
GO

Halloween Came Early for Jacko
GO

Hannah Sextacular
GO

Alessandra Ambrosio Looks Hot As Ever in Workout Clothes
GO

Ennie Wearing Icing Sugar
GO

Here’s the Hottest Girl Ever Whose Name I Can’t Pronounce and I Don’t Care Cause It Doesn’t Matter
GO

Weapon Found in Hudson Case and Balfour Says Heâ€™s Innocent
GO

Top 10 Halloween Costumes for your Gay Kid
GO

Mya Nicole is in Striped Socks
GO

Robot Does Mambo Number 5
GO

You Are NOT The Father!!
GO

Courtenay Semel Beats Up a Security Guard Like a Good Dyke all Because He has a Penis
GO

Beat the Stuffed Animal Crane Game
GO

Analyzing the Gape
GO

PANTY SLIP IN VEGAS…
GO

ENTER THE EAGLES OF DEATH METAL FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN TICKETS, BACKSTAGE PASSES AND TIME WITH THE BAND….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

Oct

EXCLUSIVE – Sam Ronson Nude Shower Picture of the Day

16 Comments »

I was sent in these pictures from a source close to Sam Ronson that read:

Stepfather (if that is your real name),

I am a friend of Samantha Ronson’s. We have known each other for a very long time, I even went to high school with her. Since she started dating Lindsay Lohan, she hasn’t been returning my calls, or facebook friend requests and I find the whole thing pretty annoying. Sure, we went our separate ways and only spoke sporadically the last 5 or 6 years, but I don’t think this new found fame is any reason for her to neglect those she was once close to, especially when all I wanted was to say hi and see how she’s been holding up with all this media attention.

I went digging through some old photos and came across this one of her showering, I am sure you’ll find them entertaining. You can post them on your website, but I would like to remain anonymous.

Since I like to help people out, Sam Ronson, if you’re reading this, which you aren’t, since you don’t know I exist, but I’ll say it anyway….Please don’t forget where you came from because you are too busy babysitting Lindsay Lohan with your tongue in her vagina. You’re not too good for the people you once liked and tt’s just not a very decent thing to do, but posting pics of you naked is. Ps – Nice tits.

I can’t confirm or deny the legitimacy of this email or the pictures included, but they look legit to me and that’s all that matters.

Posted in:Nude|Samantha Ronson|Shower

2008

Oct

Annalynne McCord is a Clown in Leather Leggings of the Day

8 Comments »

So everyone’s favorite clown they’ve never heard of is wearing a pair of American Apparel leggings, proving the shit’s just not for 14- 30 year old girls in your home town, or for celebrities like Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff and Rihanna, but the bottom feeders of fame are wearing them too. I guess all that I have read on the subject is true, D-Listers are just like us, just a little more hungry for attention and easy money and usually have family members in the industry.

I used to know a guy with a PVC festish, sure these shits are like the low budget version of PVC, but he would love seeing his cum dripping off a girl covered in rubber’s ass, so since you don’t have any girl, you could just pretend you do, buy a pair of these and tape them to your wall, for you to jerk off on. They clean off pretty easy, so you can just wipe them off and retrun them the very same day, and get your money back and knowing they will be put back on the shelf, and onto a random girl’s ass, can probably lead to more even enjoyment, all for under 40 dollars that you will get back…Just a suggestion.

I guess what it comes down to is that at least she’s skinny.

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Ass|Legs

2008

Oct

Avril Lavigne Does Halloween With a Tranny Joker of the Day

13 Comments »

So Avril Lavigne was dressed like a low budget Geisha. The kind you see at the cash at your local Grocery store on Halloween, because if they dress up, they get an extra dollar an hour, so everyone throws together a costume lazily to get paid.

Her husband finally got the chance to bust out the outfit he wears around the house when no one is home, in a pair of platform shoes an pantyhose, something Avril has learned to accept because it’s hard to find recording artists with her level of success from her hometown Ontario in LA, so she’s pretty much got no choice but to be with him, despite his transgendered tendencies. It’s kinda like how Jewish people are encouraged to date their own kind, only in this case, it’s 2 suburban kids who think they are punk, and not 2 people who think they are the chosen ones.

I like how he added Heath Ledger face and the guitar to really make this costume make no fuckin’ sense, let’s just hope Whitby and Ledger have the same fate.

Posted in:Avril Lavigne|Halloween

2008

Oct

Rachel Bilson Walks Her Dog in Some Leggings of the Day

5 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Rachel Bilson and her long torso doing the ape-walk with her little cunty dog. This would be a great opportunity to write about my own little fucker who managed to throw up 15 pounds of half digested food and a carrot on me earlier today, but I hate cocksuckers who treat their dogs like their kids, and I hate people who treat their kids like an accomplishment and never shut the fuck up about the little things they do. Like bragging about the first time it uses the potty, it’s first time on a flight, because the only think that interests me about childbirth is the before and after pussy shots and maybe a sample of breast milk, the little workings that make the fucker precious to you, really have nothing to do with my life, so you can just keep it to yourself, and while you do that, you can check out Rachel Bilson in leggings, an article of clothing that was once so fucking exciting, but has become everyday practice by so many fat chicks who think they can pull it off because all their friends are doing it, leading me wishing the shit was never re-introduced and left in the early 90s where they belong….

Posted in:Leggings|Rachel Bilson