I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day
Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day
Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day
Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day
Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day
Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day
Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day
Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day
Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day
Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day

2008

17

Oct

DJ AM is the Messiah of the Day

2 Comments »

I am not sure if you heard this story, but it was on the radio this morning so I assume you have. I never was one for breaking stories, I am more into being late on shit and announcing it to a room full of people like it’s the hottest thing ever, only to have everyone turn to me and tell me that it’s old news. I don’t know why but I find it exhilerating.

Anyway, the report is that after the plane crash DJ AM was getting skin grafts, the doctors found a potentially fatal blood clot in his leg, which happens when you fly too much, I think it’s called deep vein thrombosis but I only think that because I used it as a reason I was late for work a few years back at the canning plant. So if the plane hadn’t crashed, DJ AM could have potentially died as the clot moved to his heart, so instead God crashed the fucking thing, let him walk away with some burns, killing 5 people, just to save AM from death. Something doesn’t sound right, he’s gotta be the Messiah.

If you look at his history, he survived being molested as a child, emotionally eating himself to 360 pounds, smoking crack, an attempted suicide when the bullet jammed in the gun he had to his head, unprotected sex with lots of shady girls and the lead singer of Crazy Town, a one hit wonder band DJ AM was part of, gastric bypass surgery, dating Nicole Richie and pretending to like it, being a glorified Top 40 bar mitzvah DJ and not getting shot by the hip hop gangsters when he claimed to be hip hop, a plane crash, a blood clot (boh boh), dating Jessica Stam and her mental capacity of a hamster. This motherfucker is unstoppable. He must be fuckin’ Jesus, seriously, I heard they were spotted together at Avalon the other night and AM was eating his asshole….only he wasn’t the real Jesus, he was just one of the Mexicans AM pulled in off the street and carries everywhere, because he’s his special lucky charm. I don’t know what I am saying, but I do know this dude’s got more than just a massive butt plug in his ass, he’s also got a horseshoe, because that kind of luck just isn’t normal….maybe he is Satan…which would explain his DJ sets and chachi fan base….and I guess who really cares….

Posted in:DJ AM|Messsiah

2008

17

Oct

Mark Wahlberg Hates Jewish People of the Day

20 Comments »

Mark Wahlberg announced on national TV, if you can consider Kimmel national TV considering about 4 people watch his shit show, that he wants to punch some Jewish dude who used to make viral videos and who is now on Saturday Night Live for no reason other than the fact that he is Jewish. He even makes a point of saying that he will punch his Jew nose and I think it’s because he’s a religious Christian and he can’t deal with the fact that the Jews don’t accept his Messiah and think that they are the chosen ones, when Wahlberg knows very well that the Pope is the chosen one…..

The real story, or the story he claims is the real story, to try to take away from the fact that he hates Jews is that Samberg made fun of him on SNL and Wahlberg doesn’t like being laughed at. The reality is that no matter what the reason for the beating is, Samberg better watch the fuck out, because Wahlberg’s from the hood and before he was famous he blinded a motherfucker, something all the lawyers letters that Sambergs pussy Jew self threatens to issue as Wahlberg backs him into a corner, can’t really reverse.

The sad truth is that this battle won’t come to blows and no matter how much he slams SNL for not being funny, this will just fuel more bad jokes that only 14 year olds and 50 year olds will apppreciate because anyone between those ages will be doing better things, like drinking and fucking, except you, you’ll be surfing the internet like the loser you are…..

Either way, Here’s the SNL Clip he’s crying about:

UPDATE – Some Good Vibrations to Remind You Of His Hood Roots

Posted in:Anti-Semite|Mark Wahlberg

2008

17

Oct

Featured YouTube Video to Start the Day of the Day

4 Comments »

This YouTube video was featured today and I thought it was a good inspiring way to start the day, but that’s just because anytime I see socially awkward greasy losers doing stunts, I feel inspired. It’s actually the reason I write this website, because I know that somewhere out there, a greasy fat socially awkward loser is reading this, only you probably aren’t getting a ton of view on YouTube, but are just generating a lot of views on YouTube for lack of better things to do, because let’s face it, your phone isn’t ringing off the hook by people who are dying to spend time with you.

The highlight of the video is that he posts his Busking date and time and I hope one of you takes some initiative and goes to this event to document what kind of people go to watch people busk after seeing them on YouTube, it’s not like you have anything better to do and I think the fresh air will do you some good. When you’re done, please send me the footage, because I’ll likely be drunk in a ditch after spending the night harassing girls who won’t sleep with me and not on a plane to the UK to experience this legendary event.

Posted in:Youtube

2008

16

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

4 Comments »

I went into a coffee shop and saw some woman waiting in line in front of me to get more whipped cream and toppings on her coffee. She had already finished the first round of topping and needed more sugar. The staff was a little thrown off by her request, but gave it to her anyway, then she asked them for more Caramel sauce, as he squeezed it onto the whipped cream, she told him not to be shy and to keep it coming, until her coffee drink looked like a creamy caramel mess. Then she attacked the chocolate flakes that were in a jar next to the milk and sugar, to make the place seem more classy and for people to use sparingly on their hot chocolates and faggy coffees, but she started piling on 3 or 10 scoops of the shit into her already disgusting drink. She grabbed a spoon and started digging in like she won the fuckin’ lottery and today was the best day in her life.

I wanted to give her some credit for being eager to get all the free sweets you can get to feed your fat sweet addicted face and to turn your coffee into a tasty 2000 calorie treat, but it disgusted me and I accidentally called her a pig instead, when she asked what I said, I tried to cover it up by saying that I said she wasn’t a pig, and instead of making a friend today, I made an enemy and she stormed off pissed off at the world despite how happy she was just a few minutes before because it turns out that your day isn’t the only day I ruin….

Here are my links….

The Sex Toy Costume Contest
GO

Fat Boy Seems Like My Kind of Pony
GO

Danielle Lloyd’s Idea of a Business Casual is Pretty Half Naked
GO

Hey Traci Bingham! Why Don’t You Do Us All a Favor and PUT A FUCKING BAG ON YOUR HEAD
GO

Herry Katona and Her 36DD Topless Throwback
GO

I’m Starting to Think All These New Casters Freudiant Slips Are Intentional
GO

5 Political Pornos Everyone Would Vote For
GO

I Have Gotta Get to The Race
GO

Relax Ringo Starr, You’re Not Famous Anymore
GO

The Best Porn You’ll Find This Hour
GO

And I Thought My Wife Was Fucking Ugly
GO

Angelina Jolie is Looking Good on the Today Show
GO

Celebrity Phone Tap
GO

Now Here’s a Slutty Muppet With Current Day Values
GO

Fat Lady Fail
GO

I Say Get Laid, You Say Why Not?
GO

Women Problems Isn’t Even the Word To Describe It
GO

Dennis Leary Apologizes For Making Fun of Retards
GO

Illegal Immigrant Van Crash
CLOWN CAR
GO

Anything Involving an Idiot and a Unicycle Just Can’t End Well
GO

Carmen Electra’s Striptease Training
GO

Veronika Zemanova Can Do No Wrong
GO

Jenya D is All Sorts of Sexy
GO

Can Someone Please Get Me a Fucking Gun? Anyone? The Hills Have Gone Too Far….
GO

That Little Homo From That Twilight Movie Needs to Lay Off the Heroin, Pronto
GO

Things With Madonna and Guy Richie Are About to get Ugly
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Brooke Decker Lingerie Hotness
GO

Hunting With Sarah Palin
GO

Peeing in the Frozen Food Section
GO

Michah Moore is Amazing
GO

Adriana Lima’s Bra is Worth More Than Your Life
GO

Nicole Graves is Better Than a BBQ
GO

Erika Medina Needs to Get Her People to Lay Off the Airbrushing, Holy Shit
GO

If Rhianna Starts Banging Kanye, I Am Going to Off Myself
GO

Rebecca Loos is in Playboy
GO

Johnny Knoxville on WWE
GO

Silvia Ray is Your Borderline Jailbait Fantasy
GO

O-Face or Sportscaster Face
GO

A Car Plows Into 3 People While They Wait for the Bus…
GO

Behind the Scenes With Lisa Ann on Set of the Palin Porn
GO

The 7 Most Underrated Hot Chicks on TV
GO

WAG Alena Seredova Gallery
GO

Some Interview With One of the 90210 Sluts
GO

Create Perpetual Energy. Kind Of
GO

Mutant Vagina is Coming to Get You….
GO

Because There is Only So Much Your Bad Personality Can Do
GO

Some LA Whore Showing Some Leg
GO

Whores a Plenty
GO

Bonus – The Ridiculous John McCain Pic that’s Doing The Rounds…..

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

16

Oct

George Hamilton Had Sex With his StepMother When He was 12 of the Day

1 Comment »

The forever tanned sparkling white toothed George Hamilton revealed to the world that he had a sexual relationship with his stepmother when he was 12 and she was in her 30s. He thinks it was good experience and so would I, because when I was 12 I was learning how to speak English watching Sesame Street and I wasn’t getting 30 year old pussy. I know everyone finds this sick, but if I had a stepmother, I would have totally snuck into her bath with her and shit , because lets face it she’s not blood related and she has a vagina. The good news is that he said if he was molested he’d do it again and I think that’s the attitude most molested people should take, instead of feeling violated and acting like a fuckin’ victim, sex is a good thing and people have to be a little more down to fuck than putting all these rules and regulations and laws on the shit…..at least that’s what I tell my stepdaughters every time they threaten me about going to the authorities…..

On a side note, his son’s quite the comedian, you should check out his comedy routine by scrolling to the end of this video but the biggest joke is that Kimberly Stewart is his Half Sister…..who he probably didn’t fuck, since they have the same mom and that would be incest and incest is wrong, even if no one is looking, or if all your friends are doing it…

Posted in:George Hamilton|Sex|Stepmother

2008

16

Oct

Dyslexic Speedreader’s Mixtape Review of the Day

3 Comments »

The Dyslexic Speedreaders are some LA rap group that are made up of a guy named Andre Legacy, a white Soap Star who used to jerk off in Young Hard and Solo videos for money before making it big as an MTV VJ and a few roles on shitty movies like Karate Dog and Scary Movie 4 named Dirt Nasty and Mickey Avalon some ex male prostitute heroin addict from Oregon who probably is none of those things, but that story is good for business and makes your whole “act” more believable, despite everyone knowing that you are a group of celebrity latch-ons from LA which is about as underground as Disney and you may know them from their last myspace hit called My Dick.

I have to admit that I liked Mickey Avalon when he came out hard a couple of years ago on Myspace, before dropping his first album. I even tried to get some local promoter I know to bring them in to do a show because I thought they were going to be big, but it never panned out because the promoter I knew couldn’t afford their 3000 dollar charge at a time when they were pretty much totally unknown here. Now they are probably way more expensive and most of Mickey Avalon’s solo songs are pretty popular with the mainstream 18 year old Jewish girls who were referencing his lyrics on my Facebook all the time, so I guess they’ve made it.

A couple of days ago, I was sent their mix tape to review from their high profile PR company, about 6 weeks after it dropped, I guess they are going after the bottom feeding sites to get some more play and I wasn’t going to do it, despite being a bottom feeding site, but figure why the fuck not, you know having virtually no music knowledge or experience, it’d be a serious relevant thing for people to read. But then I remembered that people don’t actually read my site so why the fuck not try one of these out….

They rap about sex, tea bagging, drugs, porn and the whole thing is probably funny to someone who doesn’t find everything tedious to listen to like me. I can see Frat Boys chanting this shit at parties before gang rapes.The whole thing was pretty boring and a cheap copy of their first album. It’s like they are trying to relive their tried, tested true formula that worked for them a year ago and I don’t find it honest or from the heart or innovative, I find it some shock value candy coated bullshit that never ends, but in all fairness to them, maybe there’s only so much ironic rhymes about gays, fucking, pissing on tits, fucking my girl raw dog even when she asks to use a condom, getting fucked up the ass by a white man with a black mask on, fucking trannies in the ass, that I can take and it is actually good. Maybe, I am just racist and I just don’t think white Jewish people should be rapping and think that they should be doing my taxes or sending out lawyers letters and taking my money, but everyone knows Jewish isn’t a race.

Either way, it’s clear that this is a joke, meant to be funny and not actual music and I feel like I am too much of a hater and taking them too seriously while being too negative towards other people’s craft, so on a positive note, it is better than any song I’ve ever recorded and I think some of the beats are catchy and you should probably take a listen for yourself and formulate your own opinion, because despite it annoying me, I don’t think it’s the worst thing out there and the best song on the mix tape is called 24 hours by the dude Beardo, who isn’t even one of them and I like it because it’s not the same repetitive rap garbage they always do and reminds me of the punk rock I used to listen to in the 90s.


So Download the Mix Tape and Listen to It Yourself….
GO

Here’s there Press Realease:

DYSLEXIC SPEEDREADERS TO RELEASE FREE STAR-STUDDED MIX
 
Los Angeles, CA (September 1, 2008).  What happens when two Hollywood rappers team up with a cracker from Oakland? Ghetto beats and gnarly rhymes slap you in the face. Andre Legacy, Mickey Avalon, and Dirt Nasty (aka Simon Rex) combine to make the most unique rap crew in the continental U.S. (including Hawaii and Puerto Rico). With the recent addition of Beardo to the crew, the Dyslexic Speedreaders have taken the underground hip hop scene to another level.
 

After traveling together and selling out shows all over the world, the Dyslexic Speedreaders have collected enough material to put together their new compilation Shoot to Kill produced by Cisco Adler, Mark Ronsen, Dirt Nasty, and others.   This highly-anticipated mix of never heard before material will be released to fans worldwide free via the Internet on September 1, 2008. 
 
Adding even more to the appeal of this never heard mix by the same group that came out with the cult hit “MY DICK� is the inclusion of celebrity drops. The flowing lyrics and melodic beats of Dyslexic Speedreaders will be complimented by the  endorsements from their celebrity fans from the likes of DJ AM, Adrian Brody, Paris Hilton, Andy Milonakis, Kimbo Slice, Ron Artest, Lil Jon, Travis Barker, Perez Hilton, Mark Ronson, among others.  For the Dyslexic Speedreaders, giving back to their fans has never been so “craker-ass fantastic!�

Shit, Andy Milonakis is a fan, I’d like to retract my previous review and replace it with, OMG ANDY MILONAKIS LIKE THEM THEY MUST BE AMAZING…..

Posted in:Dyslexic Speedreaders|Mickey Avalon|Mix Tape Review

2008

16

Oct

Hayden Panettiere Doesn’t Get Involved In Other People’s Relationships of the Day

5 Comments »

So Hayden Panettiere makes pretty bad Political jokes on Funny or Die and with Jessica Alba for Declare Yourself , because she’s 18 now and is excited about this new found right that she’s been given and she’s taking it seriously, by trying to shove ideas down our throats, while forgetting to remind us, that she’s 18 fucking years old and has lived in a rich household her entire life and really has no life experience, education or reason to be doing that, other than by trying to stay trendy.

That said, here she is in a video saying that the Madonna divorce is none of her business, because I guess she’s taking the high road and feels like relationship matters or something sacred to the people involved, unlike political stance, which to her should be tattooed on your fucking forehead, like she’s a modern fucking hippie trying to make change and use her celebrity to do that.

The truth is that I don’t have an opinion on the Madonna divorce either, people get divorced every fucking day, who gives a fuck, but I just thought seeing Hayden Panettiere keep her mouth shut for once was a nice change of pace and worth celebrating….another thing worth celebrating, that I lived to see October 16, 2008 despite what my doctor’s been telling me the last 5 years if I don’t clean up my act, which i haven’t.

Here are some pictures of Hayden in a lacy shirt even though this kind of lace is more like the lace you’d see in a middle class retired woman who collects teddy bears house as a table cloth or window treatment and not the kind of lace you’d see on a stripper in cheap lingerie soliciting full service lap dances for 40 dollars.

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Minds Her Business

2008

16

Oct

CNN Kyra Phillips Drops the C-Bomb on Air of the Day

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Some CNN reporter called some Republican Strategist a cunt-cunt-tributror and didn’t get fired because she was crafty about it. You should take her lead and use the same passive aggressive stutter in your everyday life, you know to the girl who is slow on bringing you your coffee, or your asshole boss who just rubs you the wrong way and you are fed up with but can’t quit because you need to money to pay for you action figure collection, or even your domineering wife, who pretty much owns you and would beat you up if you called her cunt outright and who you want to have divorce you but who you are scared to be alone, because Kyra Phillips a CNN proves that it’s the bullet-proof, no consequence way to tell someone you don’t like them. I am a firm believer in just punching them in the face, throwing feces at them, tearing them apart from their insecurities up or posting nude pictures you buy off their boyfriend on the internet to really let a person know they rub you the wrong way, but it’s never really got me ahead, so maybe her lead is a better one to follow.

Posted in:CNN|Cunt|Kyra Phillips

2008

16

Oct

Shauna Sand’s Big Tits in a See Through Dress of the Day

8 Comments »

Shauna Sand brought her novelty tits out in a see through dress the other day. Her other novelty act is juggling balls while balancing on 9 inch heels and swinging around a brass pole, but no one gets to see that, because she’s scared it will take away from her image as an unattainable sex object and make us look at her like she’s some kind of clown with silly make-up on. Oh wait…she is some kind of clown with silly make-up on in high heels after juggling that dude’s balls in her mouth, I guess I got my story screwed up, kinda like how Shauna Sand got her childhood dreams as a street whore screwed up, and ended up living in a big house in Hollywood, only in her case her fuck up ended up with a happy ending, while mine just left me with this really shitty post, but in my defense, who really reads my annoying commentary when all you really came for is the pictures….I quit.

Posted in:Big Tits|Fake Tits|See Through|Shauna Sand

2008

16

Oct

Miley Cyrus’ Boyfriends Gives Her a Little Ice Cream of the Day

2 Comments »

Tuesday night, Miley Cyrus went to do a staged candid photoshoot at a Milkshake joint owned by a Paparazzi and I posted the video of Billy Ray Cyrus feeding Miley her ice cream yesterday.

What I didn’t realize is that she was there with her 20 year old boyfriend, doing normal 16 year old girl things like going to the ice cream parlor getting some milkshakes, before she can bring her milkshake, that she’s been practicing on all the suits over at Disney, to the backseat and to good use on 20 year old fame fuckers. So as he feeds her like she is his little baby, and she takes it in, not realizing he’s got other plans for her to take things in later that night, but the statutory rape only starts after they sit around talking about boys, music and shopping while doing each other’s hair for a couple hours, so it’s not as predatorial as you may think. I hear next week, he’s going to teach her how to drive stick, if you know what I mean and in his defense, I am still trying to have sex with sixteen year old girls, that’s why I applied for a job at a driving school a few months ago, but I didn’t get it because having sex with sixteen year old girls is the wrong answer when they ask you why you want the job.

Update: Here’s a Video of Annoyingly Useless and Far Too Rich and Relevant Miley Cyrus Watching Her Model Boyfriend at the Ed Hardy Fashion Show, It turns out they were eating Non-Fat Frozen Yogurt, because they are both little girls…Just look how smitten Miley gets when he prances around on stage, if you listen hard enough, you can hear her ovary drop, I think she’s primed and ready….

Posted in:Boyfriend|Ice Cream|Miley Cyrus|Slut