I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

12

Sep

Adriana Lima Does Ugly Betty of the Day

Adriana Lima was on the set of Ugly Betty this week with Lohan and I assume it is because she plays herself and comes to one of the characters in a dream or something equally ridiculous like as that Ugly main character’s better lookin sister who lives a better life than her and who she has always been jealous of, or maybe she’s playing Lohan’s lesbian lover since it will contribute to Lohan’s lie that is her sexuality because the truth is she’s taking a break from dick because she’s already fucked everyone and is waiting for some new blood to come in, that’s the only explanation for that Snowboarder she met in rehab, but I’ve never seen the show and the only way I’d watch it is if a plane crashed into it and killed everyone on it. Get it a bad September 11 joke which is always more offensive than a good September 11 joke….what? Too soon?!

BONUS THAT’S NOT REALLY A BONUS – LOHAN ON SET OF UGLY BETTY CUZ THIS SHOW IS PULLIN’ ALL THE STOPS…AND REALLY TAKING OVER…..LIKE HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER….ONLY WITH LESS GAY CAST….I’M TALKING TO YOU NEIL PATRICK HARRIS….

Posted in:Adriana Lima|Ugly Betty

2008

12

Sep

Katherine Mcphee Got Some Crazy Tits of the Day

Katherine Mcphee may not have much of a career since losing American Idol…or did she win American Idol? Truth is if you’re on American Idol, even if you win, you still lose to the rest of the world, because reality TV sucks and is the single most obnoxious way to get famous and is the real downfall of this generation, I remember a time when the only commoners who could get on TV were on the local news as a street comment, or on the National News if you did something really bad, or the audience of talk shows or contestants on Game Shows and no one remembered you the second the show was over, but now, everyone is fuckin’ famous, everyone is on YouTube, everyone is just like the stars and people recognize them and pay them to do stupid things, when they should have been at home doing the fuckin’ dishes watching sitcoms and getting ready for bed because they have an early day at the factory tomorrow or some shit….

But Katherine Mcphee does have some pretty amazing tits.

Note: I don’t know if that reads the way I want it to, so if you’re confused, it’s ok, my pee is brown and need water.

Posted in:cleavage|Katherine McPhee

2008

12

Sep

Sophie Monk Rides A Bikini in a Bike of the Day

Here are some pictures of Sophie Monk riding a bike in a bikini top, getting back to her fifth grade memories, when life was so simple. She’s even got the little license plate that reads her childhood nickname her dad used to call her and I guess it’s all because Good Charlotte broke her heart and she’s trying to find that “safe place” they taught me about when I was in therapy. The only difference is that this Sophie Monk refused a seat because she wants to remember what penetration feels like. If you’re wondering why you see a seat in the picture, it’s because she my theory didn’t actually happen, it was just me being stupid and making reference to the fact that the last guy she dated didn’t have a penis and that was before Paris Hilton’s acidic diseased cunt touched it, so now I guess he’s got a scabby fleshy mound like a Ken Doll, but fatter and with more suburban tattoos from the strip mall in his hometown.

Either way, shes wearing a bikini top, oh my god. Virgins Unite that was me trying to make some kind of comic book reference to people who get excited about chicks in bikini tops, but I never read comic books so I’m just clueless on the shit, and probably not that much cooler than you, despite knowing what a vagina feels like.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

12

Sep

Some Big Ass Black Chick Named Cherokee Showing Off Her Big Fat Ass Video of the Day

I am having trouble formulating sentences today, like every other day, only today feels worse because I can’t focus on the screen. I accidentally walked into a reggae bar with my wife last night because I wanted to see Jamaican girls grindin’ dirty and getting’ low on another guy because one of my life’s great tragedies is that I have never had sex with a black girl. Not because I am racist, but because they are and proven by last night’s insanity, they don’t seem to like fat mexican dudes in sweat pants and it turns out that they don’t like being made fun of either. When one guy came up to me and asked me if I wanted weed, I told him to get a job. When another came up to me, I put on my whitest voice and I threw out every white Jamaican cliche I could think of like no problem man, irie man, can I get a patty man, take that machete away from my neck please I don’t have anymore money, can you stop touching my wife like that, she is 400 pounds and doesn’t deserve any male attention so please stop making her feel like she’s pretty, desirable just because you want to fuck a white girl and don’t care how obese she is…..and I didn’t get laid by any of the black hoes with their long legs, round asses, hot titties and dark skin that some Spaniard I met outside said reminded him of a gorilla, but my wife did get to feel what it’s like to be wanted.

Either way, here’s some big assed black chick named Cherokee in some Big Ass Black chick movie someone sent me. I don’t know if she’s big to you hip hop heads, butI am posting it anyway despite not having any idea who she is or the fact that she’s the kind of black chick I never want to experience, but I am doing it for those who want to be reminded of what Kim Kardashian should be doing for a career if she wasn’t born rich.

Posted in:Big Ass|Black Chick|Cherokee

2008

12

Sep

Kanye West Got Arrested for This of the Day

I am a little slow on shit but I did see this yesterday, I just wanted to think things over before throwing it up with some generic commentary, but realized that I completely forgot about it the second I walked away from the computer and I accepted the fact that all I know is generic commentary. Sucks to be me….

So this is a video of Kanye West attacking a paparazzi who is taking pictures of him and that’s is some serious pussy shit, not the kind of pussy shit I find in my wife’s underwear but the kind of pussy shit that makes me wonder if this bitch has a penis or not on his 5 foot 7 little man syndrome body and not because I have gay fantasies but because he’s tough guying a fuckin’ immigrant with a camera.

Sure the paparazzi are annoying as hell, I’d get pissed off at them too, I wouldn’t try to break their cameras, I would just follow them home and and rape their wives or kidnap their kids or something. Because if I am going to get arrested, I am going to do it in a way that I get to keep any dignity I might have but breaking a real law and none of this vandalism shit. I guess Kanye should just wishes he could run back home to his mom in their middle class, educated, zero street credibility life where the paparazzi don’t bother him, but he can’t cuz his momma’s dead.

Either way, here’s some Pink Giving the Finger Cuz She’s More Hardcore and has more Cred than this Kanye West Bitch of the Day…

Posted in:Arrest Video|Kanye West|Paparazzi

2008

11

Sep

stepLINKS of the Day

I met a couple and by met I mean saw a couple who were both wearing Crocs, becaue adults in Crocs are not adults I want to meet. I know that everyone always makes fun of these things with good reason, but up until today, I had only seen kids wearing them and would question what kind of cruel world we live in where kids are the punchline to a joke. I just couldn’t understand why everyone was always being so fuckin’ hard on the kids because they were in colorful plastic, stupid lookin’ shoes because when I was a kid I didn’t even own shoes, but today I finally got it.

This man and woman were walking towards me on the street. He was in his bright orange crocs, a nice manly color that makes me think of danger or a construction site and she was in the softer baby blue that exuded nothing but femininity…if you were at the fuckin’ circus. I don’t understand what possessed these people to wear matching shoes in the first place, but ones made of colorful plastic took it to a whole other level, but then I heard them speak and they were European so it all made sense. The good news is that the wife despite her stupid shoes wasn’t wearing a bra and her little Spanish lookin tits were my friends for about 40 seconds before she caught me staring and I backed down like the scared little pervert that I am…..

Here are my links and they aren’t wearing Crocs, but I think you’ll like them anyway.

Boobs Versus Rainbows….
GO

Say It Isn’t So!!!
GO

I Am – Every Rocky Film Ever Made in 5 Seconds
GO

Jennifer Elisson Has the Rear of the Year
GO

Nadine Velazquez Make Watching My Name is Earl Bearable
GO

I Don’t Know Why, But Tiger Woods Is Putting With a Rubix Cube
GO

Jessica Alba REALLY Wants You to Vote
GO

Kanye West Got Arrested for Being a Little Bitch
GO

Skin Flicks That Are Worthwhile
GO

Petra Nemcova Upskirt Throwback
GO

Authors Wanted, Brains and Story Telling Ability Not Required
GO

Bollywood > Hollywood
GO

Spend Thursday Doing Something Worthwhile
GO

Gina Gershon Spoofs Sarah Palin….
GO

When You Change One Letter
GO

Abbie Cornish is Dreamy
GO

Free Run Faceplant
GO

Sweet Blonde Denisa
GO

God Damn Angie Savage
GO

It’s Like a Treasure Map, But For Pussy
GO

Jayden James Tits Are Massive
GO

Katie Holmes is a Faggot Ass Raver and I Hate Fucking Ravers…Probably One of the Dumbest Movements to Ever Happen..
GO

How About a Little Jessica Simpson Performing Video
GO

Keytarist Genius
GO

Ninja Punch FAIL!
GO

Matt Damon is Actually Making Some Fucking Sense
GO

How to: Explain To yOu Kids Mommy is a Whore
GO

Sienna Miller Went to the Clinic. Hopefully She Has AIDS and is Dying
GO

Mariah Carey is a Cry Baby and Dooesn’t Want a Book Written About Her
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Man Dies During Family Speech – Video
GO

Because You’re Pathetic
GO

Wendy Whine Got Her Titties Pierced
GO

Janet Jackson, What the Fuck Are You Wearing?
GO

Who Knew Cops Knew How to Kick It?
GO

Emmanuelle Chriqui At Some Premier or Something
GO

Charlie Lane is Your Army Fantasy
GO

The 10 Sexiest Football Movie Babes Of All Time
GO

Paz Vega, I Love You
GO

So Ciara Didn’t Actually Get Naked and It Sounds Like She is Pissed Off
GO

Shiny, Shiny Bijou
GO

Abriela Vergara Need to Get Out of My Dreams, and Into My Car
GO

That This Guy Is Getting Traded, That’s For Damn Sure
GO

Make an Apple Cannon and a Pumpkin Bazooka
GO

Tommy Lee Tells a Blogger to Fuck Off Via MySace Because He’s One of those Internet Tough Guys Who’s Only Claim to Masculinity is His Hep C from Fucking More Dumb Tacky Rock Groupies With Fake Tits Than You….
GO

ESPN AIRED A HANDJOB ACCIDENTALLY DURING A CROWD SHOT AT A FOOTBALL GAME
GO

GET THE HIPPIE….
GO

Some PETA Striptease Game
GO

Some Jessica Simpson Tongue Fetish
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS BECAUSE PHOTOBUCKET’S JUST ANOTHER PORN SITE…..

Some Black Girl Who Thinks She’s a Model in Some Topless Photoshoot
GO

Cheer Queen Likes Showing Off Her Tits
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

11

Sep

Heidi Klum Has a Line of Jeans of the Day

Comments Off on Heidi Klum Has a Line of Jeans of the Day

Heidi Klum has a line of jeans out and she looks like a clown while promoting it, but that won’t stop her black husband from knocking her up because no girl is too ugly for a black man.

I was on the bus the other day and these two lesbian lookin’ fat chicks were there with the cutest half-black babies I ever saw. They looked like twins and one had big blue eyes and the other had brown eyes, so I asked the lesbians if they were twins, assuming they bought them at some discount adoption center, figuring if they were rich they wouldn’t be on the fucking bus. They told me that they weren’t twins but best friends and were born 5 days apart. Now I spent about 30 minutes staring at these fucking things and they looked identical, I mean sure I joke around that all black people look the same and call all black famous people Denzel Washington like the next racist, but reality is I have the ability to spot differences and these kids had none.

So I started talking to the woman next to me, who happened to be a Jamaican and we’re goin’ off about how those kids are identical and those mothers are not so how the fuck did this go down and we realized that they have to have the same dad. Now I am no expert on these things, but the Jamaican asked where the father was from and since she was Jamaican I assume the fat lesbian moms felt comfortable with her as she could be the baby daddy’s relative and they said that Jamaica. So the story goes like thise, 2 fat lesbians no one want go down to Jamaica on an all inclusive resort, have one too many drinks and end up fucking the bartender who knocks them both up, sending both of them back to Canada pregnant, making the herpes my friend got last time he went to the Dominican seem like not such a big deal.

I feel like I told this story already, I am confused.

Posted in:Heidi Klum|Jeans

2008

11

Sep

Sienna Miller Hides from the Paparazzi of the Day

Seeing Sienna Miller hiding from the paparazzi because she doesn’t like the press she’s getting for being a homewrecking slut and is ashamed of herself for being a homewrecking slut, but not ashamed enough to pursue a married man by throwing her drunk desperate vagina at him when they were working together, reminds me a lot of my sex life. Not because it involves these Hollywood stories of passion, but because everytime I ever woke up with a hard on next to a girl I brought home with me after a night of hard drinking, who I’d wake up by trying to shove my dick inside her ass and my fingers inside her mouth would scream, jump out of bed, run to the corner of the room in the fetal postion while covering her face and shaking in fear, but all those games never stopped me, sure maybe it wasn’t role playing, but if I told myself at the time I’d have to come to terms with the fact that I actually raped them and I slept a lot easier thinking that it was just an act on their part.

Posted in:Hiding|Paparazzi|Sienna Miller

2008

11

Sep

Kelly Osborune Kissing of the Day

Seeing Kelly Osbourne kissing anything reminds me of the first time I walked in on two guys kissing. It was I was just loitering around a college dorm in hopes of seeing a free show in the coed bathroom, when I walked into the shower, not knowing it was an all male shower, thinkin’ I’d see a scene out of Debbie Does Dallas, when instead I saw two naked men kissing and jerking each other off. It kinda tarnished my sex drive for about a month because thoughts of that shit really threw me off since it was a time before gay was an everyday thing and drinking did a good job making me forget and get over it and accept it as not being such a big deal, but I will say it put an end to my quest to find entertainment in the coed dorm.

I guess what Kelly Osbourne proves is that even really ugly, sexually ambiguous, fat chicks you would assume are lesbian because no cock wants them, can find love, especially if their parents are rich, famous and big in the music industry, something any aspiring musician would see as a golden opportunity. Work your way into a solid career by fucking the ugly daughter no one wants, then making her fall in love with you and wanting the best for you, leading to her constant whining to her parents to give you a record deal until they agree to shut their little baby they feel sorry for bringing into the world because she looks like shit up.

So maybe this love isn’t real, but the fact that it is hideously disgusting is, and I guess it’s nice to know that Kelly Osbourne can be blinded by this beautiful love she feels to not realize the truth behind it, but the real tragedy is that she doesn’t respect the truth her mirror tells her everyday and that is to stay the fuck inside like the freak that you are because no one wants to ruin their day by lookin’ at that face.

Posted in:Kelly Osbourne|Kissing

2008

11

Sep

Jessica Simpson is Seriously Desperate for Male Attention of the Day

I posted these Jessica Simpson pics the other day without realizing that there was an ass flash during the performance, I am sure I am not the first guy to neglect this girls ass, even though everytime she has sex homeboy is trying his fuckin’ hardest to get up in it for fear of accidentally knocking her up because we all know how badly she wants a baby. She’s the kind of girl you use a condom with and when you are done, you bury that shit in the backyard in hopes that her desperate womb doesn’t find it and flip it inside out to try to imregnate herself with it.

I feel for this girl though, it’s always hard for an older sibling to see their younger sibling do things before them, but I think if she took the time to actually see who knocked Ashlee up, she’d feel better about things and probably back the fuck up from all the food that fat ass has been emotionally eating.

Either way, this is a pretty interesting take on being country, I wonder when she’ll incorporate the live sex with a horse component to the performance, I hear that’s how they do it back home on the farm when there’s no cock to be found for 4 counties….I don’t know what I am talking about.

Posted in:Jessica Simspon|Performance|Upskirt