I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

29

Jul

Elisabetta Gregoraci’s Vagina is a Million Dollar Piggy Bank of the Day

The thing I like about hot chicks is that they are willing to sacrifice their dignity for money. It’s like we all know if Flavio Briatore worked at McDonald’s making burgers, or at the post office sellin’ stamps, or as a plumber uncloggin’ pipes not layin pipe, dude would be sitting at home jerking off to informercials like he was me, but throw a couple of millions of dollars into a motherfucker’s wallet and all the pussy opens up like shit’s on its period and ready for the million dollar tampon that is his dick.

There’s an old saying that it’s as easy to fall in love with a poor man as it is to fall in love with a rich man, so you might as well ignore the poor and go for the rich, but that kind of attitude is like prostitution when the rich man looks like a fucking monster and the only way bitch can get wet for him is when she closes her eyes, thinks of someone a little younger and better lookin’ while holding onto his Black American Express card.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

29

Jul

Shauna Sand Rocks a Bikini of the Day


I didn’t go to bed last night because I was looking for something exciting, I didn’t find much but when I got home, the sun was up and I decided to lay out on the building’s fire escape and get some like I was back home in Mexico. I passed the fuck out and didn’t hear a fuckin’ thing, until I was rudely awaken about 20 minutes ago by the guilt of not updating the fucking site, like this shit was my job or my wife or some shit. So the homeless guy who was pissing next to me didnt annoy me, the pigeon who shat on my face didn’t annoy me, my crazy screaming neighbor and her crazy screaming husband and their crazy screaming baby didn’t annoy me, the police sirens, the cars honking, the construction down the street and the fact that I was sleeping on a metal fucking grate didn’t annoy me, but you somehow managed to annoy me.

Here are some pictures of Shauna Sand, showing off her whore body and her shitty ass and bad fake tits on the beach. I am only posting them because I like the fat dudes expression when she walks by him, like he just witnessed the coming of christ or some shit because they don’t make pussy like that where he’s from. These could be old, but you can never tell with Shauna Sand because she always looks the same shade of haggard orange and she always wears the same shoes, it’s like bitch is timeless or some shit.

Posted in:Bikini|Shauna Sand

2008

28

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

So I got busted checking out some chick with some disproportionate tits earlier today. She was walking towards me with these massive tits on her little body that I knew were real because she was barely 18 and as she got closer, she realized what I was up to and adjusted her scarf to cover her shit. I was pretty mad that such a beautiful thing would go covered up and decided to say something, but when I just started to, a car drove up to her, pulled over and she got in, it was her dad taking her home for dinner, leading me to believe that father’s of big breasted 18 year olds are the biggest cock blocks out there. I am sure other things happened today on my adventure but I am too lazy to try to remember them, my brain isn’t as good as it used to be – but I did remember to post my links… click em.

Madonna A-Rod Sex Tape
GO

Some Comic Con Boobs!
GO

Leelee Sobieski Gets Her Tit Sucked
GO

Kim Kardashian’s Fat Ass Has Managed To Stay Famous
GO

25 Greatest Gameshows of All Time
GO

10 Hottest Breast Exam Videos
GO

Maggie Gyllenhaal is Ugly Even in This See Through Dress…
GO

O-Face or Olympic Face
GO

The Museum of Sex is Witty
GO

Too Slippery When Wet…
GO

Madonna’s Daughter Decorates Her Unibrow
GO

Some Big Porn Tits Review the Movie 21
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Denise Richards is a Fucking Whore and I Hope She Dies
GO

Spiderman Fall Down Go Boom
GO

Jessica Burciaga Leaves Little to the Imagination
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Brooke Hogan Shows What It Is to Be a REAL Man
GO

Whores Are as Whores Do
GO

Okay, This is Disturbing….
GO

Quality Porn You Know You Will Love
GO

Ralley Car Drivers Just Never Learn
GO

Web Sluts That Give You Something to Look Forward To
GO

More Myspace Homos
GO

The Best Commercial Ever, and I Don’t Even Know What’s Being Sold
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Street Vendor Beatdown
GO

Naked Babes Play Soccar
GO

Find Girls to Fuck, Virgin
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

HOT Redhead Karli Montana
GO

Nice Softcore Pics
GO

Lindsay Lohan Hit and Run, and I’m Not Talking About Her Vagina
GO

Madonna is a Dried Up Old Hag and Here is Proof
GO

Trailer for Punisher – War Zone
GO

Nut Shot Brotherly Love
GO

I Don’t Know How They Expected This to Work, But They Did and It Didn’t And Now You Get to Laugh
GO

Selena Gomez Needs to Hook Up With Doc Brown and Bring Her 20 Year Old Self Back From the Future
GO

Johnny Dep Just Got More Amazing, As If That is Possible
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Because We All Need a Helping Hand Now and Again
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Amateur in Lingerie
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Trailer for The Movie W By Oliver Stone
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Cute teen Marcy is in her black stockings
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Just Can’t Get Enough of Fleixble Chicks
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More Amateur Fun
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Carmen Electra is About to get Eaten by Kim Kardashian
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Georgia Jones Shows Off
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Shithead Lebouf is Going to Jail
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Emmanuelle Chriqui in Lingerie = Good Times Had By All
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Chris Angel Versus and Escalade – I Hope It Kills Him and His Highlighted Hair
GO

Baby Wants His Bottle. I Know How That Feels
GO

God Damn Daisy Fuentes Looks Good for 41
GO

Who Remembers Bridget Hall?
GO

Office Politics Like Never Before
GO

Make People Naked in Photoshop
GO

Some Hot Legs from Canada
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

28

Jul

Kelly Rowland Shows Off Her Fake Tits and Forehead in a Bikini of the Day

I don’t know why Kelly Rowland is at the beach, it’s not like girl needs a tan and every black person I know hates swimming because there was no pool in the projects they are from, just broken down fire hydrants they used to run through and that doesn’t really help you become comforable with sharks. They also hate getting their hair wet, even when they shower because it fucks up their relaxer or whatever the fuck they put in that shit, so Kelly Rowland’s really got no business being at the beach other than to get some attention by showing off the smallest set of fake tits ever purchased.

I blame Beyonce for leaving Rowland behind on her rise to the top. Now when you ask teenagers if they like Destiny’s child when you are trying to make conversation with them at the mall, they don’t know who the fuck you are talking about and look at you like you’re some kind of sex offender who talks to them about blowjobs on Xbox Live late at night.

I guess when you were once at the top, beggin’ for someone to pay a little attention to you isn’t worth laughin’ at, and you should all just make Rowland feel better about herself and take a good look at how skinny shit is…maybe you could even put it on the cover of a tabloid to help prevent her from following her career’s steady plung by jumping off her 18th story condo balcony.

I like to think I just saved a life. I am a hero like that.

Posted in:Bikini|Kelly Rowland|Tits

2008

28

Jul

Ali Lohan’s Already Showing Off her Tits of the Day

Ali Lohan may look like she’s 40, but last I heard she’s 15 and I can only assume that she’s been put onto some kind of hormone therapy by her mother to start the gravy train as soon as possible, because it’s never too soon to slut out and get dudes jerking off to you because shit sells records and makes your mom money before you turn 18 and can cut her out of the mix like you were the kid on Home Alone who fucked Michael Jackson.

It’s always exciting when a teenage girl decides to bring her tits out to play, it’s like she knows they are ready to be seen and it’s the kind of right of passage I like better than seeing kids graduate high school, or Jews get Bar Mitzvahed, or African men being publicly circumsized into manhood in front of their tribe. I remember when my stepdaughter starded developing tits, at first she was shy and insecure about that shit and would always cover up but only a few months later she was walking around topless or in her bra begging her mom to get a hot tub so that we could have hot tub parties and so that she could show off her tight hot young body….actually I think I was the one begging my wife for the hot tub, but none of that matters, what does matter is that seeing a girl become a woman is a creepy yet beautiful thing.

On a side note someone promoting Ali Lohan accidentally emailed me about her new single and I decided to ask for an interview, I wrote

you should get me an interview – i’ll be good to her – we’ll do wholesome things, with a creepy overtone, like playing in the park, going for ice cream and inviting her back to my van to see my kittens….

it will be amazing

I never got a response because it’s hard to catch a break when you are me….

Posted in:Ali Lohan|Tits

2008

28

Jul

Amy Winehouse Has Hot Jewish Skin of the Day

I decided to reconnect with nature about an hour ago because I saw a rain cloud rollin’ over a beautiful sunny day and figured that it would be a great opportunity to get a video of chicks running from the rain, tits bouncing, hands covering see through shirts because when they woke up and went to work, they thought the day was going to beautiful and that they didn’t need to wear a bra under their white shirts and all that good stuff, but it turns out I don’t have a camera and after walking around for an hour I only say one set of hard nipples and they were on some 80 year old who probably didn’t know it was raining because she was too busy trying to remember where she was walking to and how to get home.

The image was almost as hot as these pics of a fucked up Amy Winehouse’s busted up drug addict face that looks like some kind of human medical testing from the people at Asprin in 1940s Germany, I can only hope it matches her pussy because if it didn’t all this self destruction would go to complete waste since there’s nothing like blood, puss, tears and the smell of rotting flesh to keep sex exciting, especially when with fucking someone who is on the cusp of life and death…..

The truth is that she looks like all the Jewish girls I’ve seen before the nose jobs, braces, skin treatments and accutane prescriptions and for some reason she makes me want to go to Israel to find my own Jew to be a mexican migrant gardener for. I hear they are into cheap labor and people they can pretty much take advantage of because they are illegals .

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Wreck

2008

28

Jul

Whoopi Goldberg’s Erotic Moment of the Day

I have a thing for Whoopi Goldberg, not because I find her hot, but because I find her sexual andongyny so confusing it is pornographic. It’s like is that a dude with long hair, or a chick who looks like a dude, and my entire life I have been fascinated with how unattractive I found her that it’s become an obsession. I remember seeing a scene in Ghost where she kissed Patrick Swayze and I felt sick to my fucking stomach, like I had accidentally walked into a gay bar and saw two dudes fagging out, and then I remember seeing her rockin’ a dress in Sister Act and realized that we were dealing with a vagina or a man dressed like a nun. Everytime I hear about her fucking dudes, or am reminded that she was dating Ted Dancing Danson, I find the whole thing a massive mind fuck that has become sexy to me…..

Here is a clip of Whoopi Kissing that Katy Perrry Kissed a Girl singer on The View. Be careful, shit is red hot.

RELATED POSTS:
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Posted in:erotica|Whoopi Goldberg

2008

28

Jul

Britney Spears in a Bikini in Cabo of the Day

So Britney Spears is in Cabo with her hired friends and dancers training hard for their big VMA performance I heard about on the radio. I could be wrong and these pictures could be old and the hired gay dude may actually be one of her “real” friends and not an employee or someone trying to ride her coat tails and get some media attention, but it doesn’t matter because she looks amazing. This is just further proof that if you throw a bitch in the gym for 6 months and force photographer to put on a grainy lens, she totally looks worth fucking, but in all fairness to Britney’s slow dive into the gutter, none of us can small the smells she’s releasing or see the brown stains around her pussy on her nice white bikini, so her hard work in being insane and giving up on life hasn’t fully gone to waste, as long as she stays out of the pool because she wouldn’t want the chlorine may to kill off the bacterial build-up collection, it’s taken 2 years to make and it can’t go to waste….

Either, I wish they made glasses that had the same effect that I could use on my wife because if they did, I am sure my penis would still work like a normal, vibrant, sober 40 year old man. I know I am boring today, but it’s monday and I hate you as much as I hate this computer.

Posted in:Bikini|Britney Spears|Vacation

2008

28

Jul

Gordon Ramsay and His Slut in a Bikini of the Day

I’ve seen the Hell Kitchen show and I find it annoying. Dude’s a fuking whining baby who has this intesity that gives me a fucking headache. I’m like if you don’t like it motherfucker, do it your fucking self. His high standards are too fucking irritating, but I guess he doesn’t carry that over into his personal life, because if you’re curious about what motherfucker’s eating in his sparetime off camera, here it is and shit’s definitely not fine dining, but more like the kind of meal you’d be stuck with at the caferteria of your grandmother’s old folk’s home, but as someone with no standards in anything I do in life, and who would eat 6 day old moldy leftovers I find in the garbage in hopes that they food poison me to death, she looks hot to me.

Posted in:Gordon Ramsay|Slut

2008

28

Jul

Kim Kardashian Big Tits in a Bikini for McDonalds of the Day

Kim the Urinal was living out a childhood dream this past weekend and that was to be invited to a McDonald’s event to pose with the biggest Big Mac ever. I hear she demanded that they pay her in food and not money, because she’s got enough money but can never get enough food.

The truth is that Kim Kardashian is the kind of Fat Chick McDonald’s has been searching the world over for. They wanted a spokesperson for the brand that despite being 50 pounds overweight and rockin’ the obesity BMI, she’s still got dudes everywhere jerking off to her because her Big Macs go straight to her big ass and big tits, that’s why she’s in a bikini top.

Unfortunately, the only Special Sauce Kim Kardashian is really into comes out of black cock, so I’d say put that on your Big Mac and eat it, but the truth is that they’re more into fuckin’ watermelon and fat blonde chicks.

Posted in:Bikini|Kim Kardashian|McDonalds