I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

24

Jul

Kim Kardashian’s Big Ol’ Ass of the Day

I saw a girl the other day who had absolutely no ass. She wasn’t anorexic and she wasn’t so fat shit was buried in her thighs. She was just totally average in size and was wearing leggings leaving little to my imagination which turned out to be too bad because when I got to staring at her shit, my imagination would have made things better but instead I was stuck trying to figure out where she shits from, or what she sits on, because her legs turned into back without anything in between and it looked fucking mutant to me.

I got to talking to the teenage girl next to me who about it because she caught me staring and told me that she thought shit was strange too and she went on a rant about how she would rather have a Kim Kardashian sized ass that makes shopping for jeans impossible even if it meant having to have sex black men for the rest of her life, I thought that was a pretty bold statement because Kardashian’s ass is disgustingly big and makes her look like a lazy slob and I asked her to stand up and show me what she was dealing with and she refused.

About 5 minutes later a black dude showed up and sat next to her and they started making out, so I guess that was her boyfriend and she’s already getting black cock and Kim Kardashian’s ass is something she holds on a pedistole, like something she wishes she had to better please her man and all the men to come her way since they’ll all be black. Teenage girls are such whores. I blame hip hop. We’re all going to hell.

Posted in:Ass|Big|Kim Kardashian

2008

24

Jul

Janice Dickinson’s Got a Fucked Up Lip of the Day

Janice Dickinson is pretty hot, not only is she a washed up, mangled up, retired, cokehead, cock hungry model, but she also has big ol’ tits that she doesn’t mind showing off because she’s just such a trainwreck of a person. The kind of trainwreck who doesn’t flinch when you shove your dick in them when they are sleeping, because they are too jacked on sleeping pills and when they wake up with the cum dripping out of them, they don’t think twice because it’s a normal fucking situation in their lives.

The funny thing about these pics is her mouth, I am guessing this is some botched surgery or bad botox and she’s all lookin’ at me with a crooked smile and it looks like she’s got a fucking burger stapled to her face.

Speaking of burgers, I went to the other night, where my overly sensitive friend decided to have a group of us over because he really wanted to cook for us and celebrate his getting a girlfriend or something equally lame. This is the kind of emotionally unstable dude who would stab his on mother in the neck if she said the wrong thing about him. Anyway, dude ends up making burgers and I’m all excited because we don’t eat that kind of fancy shit at home, we’re more of a Ramen Noodle, Pasta with Soya Sauce and Margarine kind of family, and when it gets to me, I garnish it with all the good shit, I’m talking cheese and BBQ sauce and fried onions and bacon and the fucking thing looked like a piece of fuckin’ heaven. I bite into it and shit’s still raw. Now I know real men like raw meat, but it makes me sick to my fucking stomach and as my friend looks at me for my approval of how good it is and as I try to mask my disgust by smiling and saying it’s awesome because I don’t want to get stabbed in the fucking neck, I just keep on eating through it. Knowing there is going to be a bout of E-Coli, knowing my body isn’t going to react well to this…I just keep going…like a horny dude fucking an Aids pussy without really thinking of the consequences.

I guess my bbq story was a waste of time, but hey man, I write the shit that comes to me, deal with it by lookin’ at these tits….

Posted in:Janice Dickinson|Lip|Tits

2008

24

Jul

Whoopi Goldberg Erotic Moment of the Day

I have a thing for the girls on the View, I think watching their shit reminds me that I am not all man and that I actually have more in common with a housewife than I do with a husband, not because I sit around doing housework and babysitting kids all day, but because I use my vagina to mooch off my wife instead of working like a normal person.

I have a crush on Whoopi Goldberg, but not a real crush, more of a faschination that she actually has sex, because she looks like she’s more of the kind of person who has a penis instead of wanting penis. Everytime, I hear her talk about sex or imply anything sexual, I feel the need to post it, because shit is like porn to me. Maybe it’s the mystery as to whether she has a vagina, or the fact the fact that I know she has a vagina and I just can’t believe anyone is willing to crawl up inside it, but anyway you dice it, shit’s striaght up sexy.

Today, The View girls were talking about of Vagina and vaginal reconstrution. I couldn’t watch the whole episode because I had to go catch it at my neighbor’s house and I can’t deal with all that is weird about him, like the fact that he sits arond in a towel and constantly holds his penis while licking his lips, or the fact that he suggests we jerk off together, or the fact that his place is a fucking bigger mess than my place, and that may not mean much to you, but I live in a place that smells like a dumpster and he lives in what seems more like a mass gravesite. That means that I can’t really touch anything without worrying about getting scabies or the plague.

I did manage to get to hear Whoopi Goldberg tell the world she has 3 G-Spots like some kind of mutant genitaled monster and she even yelped “yes” a couple of times to show the world what she tells her boyfriend when his dick’s banging up against her bladder wall. It was amazing…

I am sure there was more amazing moments on the shit with the other girls because vaginal reconstructive surgery is always good conversation, but I was too lazy to watch the video and too distracted by the mental boner I Whoopi gave me that would have been ragin’ had I not been impotent and next to a naked man who was who was giving me his best “pretty eyes”….

There was a Hot Segment When a 15 Year Old Jewish Girl Talks About Her DD/E Cup Tits She Got Removed and Other Plastic Surgery She’s Done and they Showed The Before and After Pics….it was criminal…seriously…I’m waiting for that video to hit.

Update…Video hit…

RELATED POSTS:
Whoopi Goldberg’s 1st Erotic Moment
Whoopi Goldberg’s 2nd Erotic Moment
Whoopi Goldberg’s 1st Erotic Moment

Posted in:Erotic Moment|Whoopi Goldberg

2008

24

Jul

Britney Spears in Some Backyard Bikini Pics of the Day

The paparazzi managed to climb some trees and get these pictures of Britney in a bikini because they are criminals. I am just posting them because I have to, it’s like sex with my wife…every once in a while you gotta give in to the disgusting that is her vagina, as to not throw off the stability and constant comfort that is my life. I figure if I don’t go down on her pink little trash can of a pussy every couple of months, she’ll cut me off and the free ride will end and I’ll have to leave the site and work a normal job and support myself and that’s something I would rather eat gross pussy than do. So here’s some Britney slowly bouncing back to something good…real fuckin’ slowly bouncing back…but bouncing nonetheless…

Posted in:Bikini|Britney Spears

2008

24

Jul

Brooke Hogan Rocks a Bikini in Some Staged Pictures of the Day

Yesterday’s news was that Brooke Hogan hasn’t turned down an offer to show off her manly muscles in Playboy. I originally thought it was weird that she was entertaining the offer, not because she doesn’t need the publicity push since her heyday is pretty much expired and is already a hasbeen before ever really being anyone, but because her dad’s always against her pictures being “too sexy” for lad mags and shows up on set to make sure everything is at the acceptable level of slut.

An insider close to the family told me that Hulk actually approached Playboy because Brooke is finally starting to catch onto the fact that it’s not normal for him to watch her and masturbate while she showers or for him to hide in the closet while and watch her as she fucks or even for him to “accidentally” walk in on her everytime she’s changing, and he just wants to have some photographic tastefully shot images that he can sneak into the bathroom with him whenever he needs to get off without having to deal with Brooke’s questions when she realizes his behavior’s been inappropriate.

I heard that he even thought about hiring a photographer to do the shots for him, but without sound reason or purpose, the photographer refused the job because it was creepy and this is Playboy shit is his last real option to cum to his little girl’s pussy hair and make some money in the process….

Either way, here are some staged bikini pictures because this girl is trying hard, and the whole staged pictures phenomenon really takes away from the joy of posting candid shots that I used to love doing. It’s like the publicists caught on to the fact that sexy or sleazy gets noticed and they decided to fabricate sexy or sleazy situations in hopes of getting the same results, but it’s just too fucking obvious and breaks my heart in doing what I do.

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Hogan

2008

24

Jul

Playboy Bikini Fashion Show of the Day

Playboy merchandise and branding reminds me of the stripper version of Ed Hardy. It’s like the same misguided tacky club bitches who wear Ed Hardy shit today, were the girls getting the Playboy bunny tattooed to their hip 3 years ago and the girls who are rockin’ Playboy shit today are just really behind the fuckin’ curve on being a trashy whore, and are probably from small towns and spend their nights working the local strip club.

These are the girls who wear tight decorative jeans, have bleached hair and show off their tits all the fucking time and you figure they’d love suckin’ dick but realize that if you have enough money, you can find out for yourself and when you do, you realize that they are actually the worst fucks around because they party too hard and get too much male attention to bother putting any effort in. They are the same girls who have ragged faces and look like they are 35 but when you get drunk enough to approach them, you realize it’s their 22nd birthday but for obvious reasons, we all love them.

Here are some pictures of Playboy’s new swimwear line for sluts everywhere and for the record, I love sluts and don’t really care how tacky a pussy is because as long as there’s a pussy, I’m happy.

Posted in:Bikini|Playboy

2008

24

Jul

The Rest of the Vanessa Hudgens July 4th Bikini Party of the Day

I already posted some of the pictures of Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Effron’s bikini clad romantic vacation that was really just another acting job commissioned by Disney to help properly promote the couple as being wholesome and legit. So there’s no real reason to go off saying the same shit over again with these added pictures. The truth is I am tired of reading about how Effron’s a fag, or a girl, or whatever everyone is saying about him, not because I feel like the media is being mean to him, but because it is possible that dude’s just into singing, dancing, shopping, doing his hair and counting all the fucking money he makes by having teenage girls everywhere learn how to masturbate thinking of him. The truth is that he could be railing this Hudgens bitch, he may be the dude who popped her cherry both vaginally and anally, maybe he makes her eat pussy for him, maybe he makes her fuck black dudes while he jerks off, maybe they aren’t wholesome at all, and are in fact teenage perverts and have had 15 abortions like they were the black chick on The View and it could be all be because he is corrupting her into being the slut that she is.

Until I see pictures of dick in this dude’s mouth, I am going to just focus on the fact that dude’s doin’ something right by playing the feminine guy girls can relate to, and it’s opened lots of legs for him, not that I like Hudgens, but because I like teenage girls masturbating thinking of me.

Posted in:Bikini|Vanessa Hudgens

2008

24

Jul

Kid Rock is a Racist Pussy of the Day

Do remember when Kid Rock’s novelty was that midget dude on his first song, those were the glory days of his career as a joke, and I always got a kick out of seeing them perform, not because the music was good, but because I couldn’t believe a record company invested in that garbage. Since then he’s gone off to get with and impregnate Pam Anderson which means he also landed Hep, he’s also managed to maintain this lame trashy southern redneck trailer park image of a drug using, hard drinking, stripper fucking loser, despite being from Detroit and recently he went on to beat up a black dude in a Waffle House, if you can really call this shit beating up someone because when you have security/ a gang of massive goons who have his back it’s more like just a self esteem boost that allows him to mimic being tough.

It reminds me of the time a club owner beat me up for calling him a rockstar as he walked into the VIP room, he came back and told me to not call him a rockstar and when he walked away to go back into the VIP room, I called him a Rockstar again. He proceeded to pound my fucking face in, while I laughed because I was fucking wasted and couldn’t really stand up or fight back and took it like a bit of a bitch, but not as much of a bitch as a dude who had his 3 bouncers pinning a drunken me the fuck down. Either way, when he was done, I was missing a tooth and I was bleeding everywhere, I looked up at the motherfucker and said “See, you just proved that you think you’re a fuckin’ rockstar and now you have AIDS” pointing at his blood covered hands. Dude went off on my face for another round. After he was done, I sobered up a bit, found my drug dealing friend to do some damage, because I don’t like fighting and dude had a gun and figured it’d make for a good scare, but when he walked into the VIP room the club owner was in, the drug dealer realized the guy ran the place and the guy also had 6 goons protecting him, because the truth is dude was about 5 foot 6 and 150 lbs and too pussy to really defend himself. It’s like having money allows guys who deserve to get their asses beat to feel like they are tough.

Either way, his new Sweet Home Alabama song annoys me, it is as shitty as everything else about him and his try hard ways, even the fact he’s beating up black dudes makes me think he is just doing it in attempts to connect with his fans, because the only people who can relate to his music are people who burn crosses on front lawns and tie negros to their trucks and drag them around the block while drinkin’ cheap beer, beating up women and gang raping fags to teach them why faggot sex is bad and impregnating cousins. The truth is that the black dude he’s fighting is just a paid actor.

Posted in:kid rock|Racist

2008

24

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

I was walking down the street tonight and saw some bum faced down on the sidewalk across the street. I thought I should do something to help out, but I don’t have a cell phone and I don’t really care about helping other people, especially when they are bums and don’t bother helping themselves. It’s like why invest into a lost cause.

The dude was shaking, so I figured he was just having a drug overdose and all the suits who were leaving their offices around the same time did the same fucking thing as me and didn’t even notice him. Not one person stopped to help the fucker and about 15 minutes later, I walk by the scene again and a cop was putting a sheet over his head because the dude had died.

Shit could have been going on for hours and not one single person stopped to help him, no one cared to help him or go out of there way and call an ambulance for him. I just hope every single one of those fuckers dies in the same humilating way as that poor fucker, I already know that I will so it’s really a non-issue for me, but it was a great testament that people and humanity is totally fucking distorted.

On the positive side of things, the circle of life continues and as one man leaves the world another enters the world and the above picture is of Gavin McInnes and his family. He is the founder of Vice Magazine, a magazine that has probably sucked more dick than Lohan in the last 5 years and that I can’t even think about picking up anymore because it is so embarrassing, but was kinda entertaining and even trendsetting in the beginning, and that probably had a lot to do with Gavin’s involvement.

He’s moved onto a site called StreenCarnage.com and is worth checking out if you like laughing a retardedly dressed people.

He’s also moved onto baby making and he and his wife welcomed a healthy and hefty 9 pound 9 ounce baby boy named Duncan Whitethunder McInnes into this pretty shitty world and I’d like to congratulate them and wish them the best of luck in the headache that is raising babies…..

On that note, here are the headache that are my links…

The Reason Why Webcams Are a Solid Invention
GO

Brooke Hogan to do Playboy and Show the World Her Post-Op Pussy
GO

Learn How To Kick Ass From a Hot Ass
GO

Now THAT’S How You Eat a Banana
GO

Ferris Bueller is Getting Ass All Over Town….And It’s Attached to a Woman…
GO

I Don’t Know Who Britnny Gastineau is, But Here is the Side of Her Boob
GO

Lifestyles Condoms Malibu Beach House Photobooth Pictures of Lohan and People from The Hills
GO

How to Use Boobs to Drink Beer
GO

Top 10 Female Athletes Who Posed for Playboy
GO

Hot Model Likes To Lick
GO

30 Famous People Who Have Been Exhumed….
GO

Nicole Kidman’s Got a Hot Hard Mom Nipple
GO

Her Name is Ana Ivanovic and She Was Caught in a Bikini…
GO

The Dutch Miss Reef Contest Video Because Reef Girls Have Amazing Asses….
GO

The Best Divorce Story Ever
GO

The Best Porn on the Net
GO

Cameron Diaz is the Highest Paid Actress in Hollywood
GO

Iranian Model in a See Through Shirt Because She’s Stealing Your Oil…
GO

Rosario Dawson’s in a New TV Show…Here’s the Preview if you Like Her Tits
GO

Israeli Actress Tali Sharon Has Big Tits on the Beach in This Video
GO

Gay Meat Ads from the 50s
GO

Jordan Can Barely String a Sentence Together, Let Alone Fill a Whole Book With Them
GO

The FIFA Beach Soccer World Cup Girls Dancing In Their Bikinis VIdeo
GO

The Top Ten Most Racist Moments on Television
GO

WNBA Catfight!!!
GO

Jodie Gordon Make Me Want to Go Down Under
GO

Cindy Crawford is Still Bangin’
GO

For Your Enjoyment, a Shitload of Bikini Models
GO

Thigh Highs and Glasses, What More Do You Need?
GO

Some Vintage Tara Reid That Will Make You Wanna Barf…Then Masturbate with Your Barf….
GO

I’m Sure You Don’t Need Me to Tell You Fox News Isnt Worth Watching, But Here Is MORE Proof ANyways
GO

Make Mom and Dad Proud – Find a Girl to Fuck
GO

Miley Cyrus is Going to Get Naked in a Movie…
GO

Amy Winehouse Is Looking Amazingly Healthy and Worth Fucking…
GO

Chantelle Fontain is All Sorts of Sexy
GO

Gorgeous Blonde Hangs Out By The River
GO

John McCain Thinks He Is Pretty Fucking Hip
GO

Ana Obregon is a Hot Spanish Memaw in a Bikini Who Banged Davic Beckham Before He Gave Hits Nuts to Posh
GO

Office Hacky Sack Fun
GO

Megan Fox on Set of Transformers 2 For the Virgins…
GO

Heather Locklear is Still Fuckable On Her Way OUt of Rehab
GO

Basketball Dunk that Fails
GO

Get Sex the Easy Way
GO

Amateur Heaven
GO

Miley Morris Claims Her Tits Are Real. Judge For Yourself
GO

The Only Way for a Broad to Ride a Bull is in a G-string
GO

Get Ready for The Biggest Piece of Shit Song of All Time
GO

BUM FIGHT!
GO

Kayden Suds Up in the Tub
GO

McDonald’s robber is finalist in jingle contest — for McDonald’s
GO

Nick Hogan is Gonna Be Butthurt Come Sunday Morning
GO

Say Hello, Rapists!
GO

How To Ruin the Morning After
GO

Two More Reasons I Need to Go to Brazil
GO

Working Has Never Been So Much Fun
GO

Toronto Club Hotties Take the City By Storm
GO

The Pissing Liquor Dispenser is Amazing
GO

Ana Beatrix Will Make You Want to Touch Yourself
GO

some Jew Movie Coming Out About Bar Mitzvahs, As If the Jews Don’t Tell Us Enough ABout Themseleves Already.
It Actually Looks Pretty Funny Though.
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Big Tits and a Camera Phone….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

23

Jul

President Bush Blames the US Economy on Being Drunk of the Day

I think your Commander in Cheif is pretty hysterical. Sure, I wouldn’t want him running my country, let alone my household, but dude definitely would be good to hire to MC a wedding, or a High School Graduation.

Now I don’t know shit about American politics, I don’t know shit about the American economy, other than that gas prices are high, the dollar is low, people are going bankrupt, losing their houses and forced to third world living conditions with starvation and no healthcare.

So as you all get no love from your government, as some of you suffer and lose your jobs and rack up more debt, and as the rest of the world laughs and stays as far away from the USA as they can, your President is throwing press conferences that he asks people to turn their cameras off mid-speech so that he can explain the real reason why the market’s gone to shit and it goes like this “Wall Street is Drunk, What We See Now is a Hangover”.

So your President blamed the economy of being drunk, that’s why it’s not performing, kinda like the time I raped a girl and pleaded not-guilty because the booze made me do it, only my drunk excuse was a little more realistic, since Wall Street can’t drink and I still got booked.

Maybe Wall Street was drunk but that sounds more like the explanation of the country as a whole when they voted for Bush as President and maybe the Wall Street issue is just caused by the fact that your country is a trillion dollars in debt because of the war for oil masked as a war on terrorism.

But like I said, I know nothing about politics, but thought it was funny to see your President make such a stupid fucking statement. I guess dude’s trying to tap into his dreams of being a stand-up comedian or some shit, but should probably wait until he is replaced by Obama before touring the comedy clubs. Maybe he should just consider dealing with issues in a straight up way to try to redeem himself for all the damage he’s done so that he doesn’t go to hell, instead of feeding more meaningless bullshit excuses by saying things that don’t make any sense and just confuse everyone listening, in hopes of shutting them up.

I guess I shouldn’t really care, and should just go back to staring at my testicles in the mirror as I like to do.

Posted in:Uncategorized