I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

23

Jul

Marla Maples Does Yoga on the Beach of the Day

I got up early today and went for a small walk to get coffee. I ended up running into all the local vagrants and homeless and mentally deranged people who populate my neighborhood and who I’ve seen almost daily for the last 10 years.

I never get up this early and didn’t realize these people started out their day of loitering this early. There was the weird dude who talks to himself, listens to a walkman and is on methodone treatment at the pharmacy, there’s this tall dude who doesn’t shower and smells like shit who drinks decaf coffee all fuckin’ day at Subway, there’s some dude with a cowboy hat who is always drunk and aggressive and every time I see him he’s missing a new tooth. There’s the crazy cat lady who has a different purple jogging suit everyday, I’m talking about the kind of jogging suit 4 year olds wore in the 80s and crazy un-brushed hair who walks her 8 cats, all on leashes, there’s some really skinny guy with one leg longer than the other who smokes cigarette butts he finds on the street and then there’s homeless man dance who spent too many years doing acid and is totally OCD but seems like a genius.

As I was judging them, thinking to myself how fucking weird they were, I realized that to the average person, I was probably one of the crazies in the neighborhood they see on the daily for the last 10 years too. It was some kind of revelation where I finally grasped that to the normal people, I am as crazy as the people I laugh about for being crazy and that depressed me, but I figure if you can’t beat them and if their judgment is already passed on me, I might as well milk it and that means that now I can walk out in my underwear, shit myself and drool and fondle my penis every time I see a cute girl, because I carry the crazy card, despite the fact that I don’t want to be one of the local fixtures, I should make the best of it.

I guess maybe it’s time for Marla Maples to come to terms with her fat too. She needs to realize that she’s old and has no business being on the beach at all unless it’s at an all inclusive resort in Cuba with all the other 40 year old mothers. There’s really no place for her trying to do the splits and act sexy because despite my being willin’ to fuck her, since I’m a pervert and she isn’t fat, I still don’t want to watch her bending about like some kind of nimble 20 year old. I find it embarrassing….

Posted in:Marla Maples|Yoga

2008

23

Jul

Gabrielle Reece Rock’s a Bikini Top and Show’s Some Tit’s of the Day

So I just happened to come across this comment on a previous post by some loser named Doug. This is what Doug wrote:

When you say “Traci Bingham and her Melon’s of the Day� what you are really saying is “Traci Bingham and her Melon is of the Day�
Go back to grade school you moron.

Doug. No, I’m not trying to say that her melon is of the day, but I am trying to be like hip hop and create my own kind of speaking that kids everywhere will rip off. I have no problem reinventing the language and making it work for me one post at a time. I don’t really have the patience to care about proper and constrictive and boring use of the english language, they shit is for the suburban people who do what they are told and don’t know how to live unless it’s in a guideline rulebook.

The fact that you would spell check posts on my site, let alone any fucking site leads me to believe that you just can’t let loose and appreciate the big picture, who really cares if I slip up on a you’re and your, their and there, melon’s or melons, you should learn how to read past typos and get the overall concept behind the post instead of going to the trouble to email me or comment about me, calling me a moron about the shit like you’re my fucking English teacher who I tried to poison in High School for pulling the same stunt. I am not educated, I am an immigrant, I have lived on the street, but throwing in an apostrophe wasn’t really representative of that, because even an uneducated person knows the fuckin’ difference, and it’s really got nothing to do with being a moron and more to do with not editing posts no one reads, except for maybe the occasional hater like you.

Either way, it doesn’t really matter, I just get annoyed when people bother me with instructions and point out typos, not because it makes me feel inadequate, but it reminds me that this site reaches the people I don’t really want it to.

Here are some pictures of Gabrielle Reece showing off her Beach Volleyball tits like shit was the early 90s. I never liked her, I always thought she looked too much like a dude and have had some weird nightmares of her and Brooke Shield’s slapping dicks, but dick or not, she does have tits in a bikini top and is staying true to her hangin’ on the beach past with her big wave surfing husband, legendary Laird Hamilton, and I guess I gotta stay true to my shit and post it.

Posted in:Bikini|Gabrielle Reece|Tits|TitsGabrielle Reece|Top

2008

23

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

I just got stuck in the backseat of a broken down car in the middle of nowhere for the last 10 hours because I agreed to go with a friend to the middle of nowhere because he was going to score some internet pussy he’s been talking to for a while and he sold her well, telling me about her oral fixation and love for dick, and I had nothing better to do and figured it’s be funny to watch pan out.

What I didn’t realize when I agreed to this was that we were going that far away, or that that I was just being used as entertainment for the 3 hour drive each way and that I wasn’t going to be part of the scoring internet chicks plan. When we got to our destination dude left me waiting, when I asked if I could come in, dude said that would be weird, so instead I decided to try napping, tried listening to the radio, thought about trying to jerk off and eventually contemplated suicide and realized I had to get the fuck out of there and back to civilization.

The fact we were driving a total of 6 hours for this asshole to get laid was pretty stupid, the fact that dude spent time 4 hours with a girl he was just going to bang, lead me to believe he was getting caught and falling in love, otherwise it would have just been an in and out job, so I had to put an end to things and drag him out by his feet if I had to.

That’s when I realized she was 400 lbs and I realized it was good time to address that her “oral fixation” dude was so hung up on, was probabyl not for dick but for donuts, like every girl who tells me they have an oral fixation, never actually has an oral sex fixation, they just like fucking cookies or smoking cigarettes and sucking on random things, the whole night was a total fucking bust because my homie couldn’t even bang her in the end because she was on her period, not that that would stop me, but her gut would, and he just gets uncomfortable around blood, he was also pretty pissed off about her false marketing, at least that what he says, but still managed to leave me in the car for 4 hours I will never get back and that I’ll never know exactly what went down when he was inside her shitty trailer park home…

Either way, I am tired, I made the time to get the links up, so click them.

Amazing Pasties Fashion Show with Lots of Topless Sluts in their Decorative Pasties….
GO

Mariah Carey Dresses Like a 12 Year Old With Fatty Tits and a Mid-Driff
GO

The Halo Kid Will Never Get Pussy…
GO

Tila Tequila’s Got Some Crazy Cleavage
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Batman Got Arrested!!!
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The 20 Sexiest Blondes
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The Andy Dick Trial Video
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Lohan is a Sweaty Little Slut
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Purple Man Goes Up Against The Trunk – Weirdness…
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Whoose Got The Best Nerdy Tits
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Top 10 Videos of Girls Beating Up Guys
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Models With Comic Sex Fetishes
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50 Hottest Golfers of All Time
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Hayden Panettiere Looks Good For a 35 Year Old
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Phil Anselmo is on a Strict Regiment
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Ohhhhhh Natalie Martinez!!
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Bacon Versus Health
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The Best Porn In These Parts
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Samurai Sword Demo is Nearly Fatal
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Wife with a Gun Prank
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Find Girls to Fuck, And Stoping Spending Money on Real Dolls
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There Girls Play Dance Dance Revoloution in Hot Pants And It’s Pretty Amazing
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Skinhead Girls Beat Up Classmates
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Texas Twins
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Sexy Roxette in Black Lingerie
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Quiana Grant is All Types of Sexy
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This Trailer For The Hills Makes ME Want to Fly to Los Angelese, Strap a Bomb to My Chest, and Blow That Fucking Place to the Sky
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Selena Gomes is 16 and One More Year Closer to Being Legal
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I’m Pretty Sure This is Illegal, But Jusdge For Yourself
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Us This to Get Sex, It Will Help, I Swear!!
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Big GAy Al is a Ladie’s Man
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Awesome Prank Call to Some Religious Call in Show
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Hitchhiker Pranks Scares The Shit Out of Some Kid
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Sandy Summers Adorable Blonde
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Shooting Web Cam Babe
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Strip Searched By a Security Guard
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Women Versus Gate
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Remember Allison Stoke, The Hot Track and Field Girl?
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Nice Collection of Random Hotties
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Battle of the Bitches
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Now THIS is a VLOG!
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Vegas Hotties Make You Temperature Rise
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Aubrey O’Day Shows Off Her Oral Skills
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Rhianna’s New Video Will Give You Boners
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I Am Not a Hero, Nor Can I Play Guitar
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The Ball Girls in Tennis Are Fully Bangable
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I Hope Heidi and Spencer Die When They Visit Iraq
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Shay Laren is Tasty
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Playboy Babe Kayla Collins
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Behind the Scenes is ALWAYS More Interesting
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Make a Semi Auto Rubber Band Gun With Chopsticks
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BMW Uses a 15 Year Old Girl To Sell Used Cars…To Drive to Canada in…Because 14 is Legal Here….
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Trannies Don’t Like Kentucky Fried Chicken…s
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Her Name is Mary Elizabeth Winstead and She’s a Dancing Slut in Her New Movie…Here are Some Stills….
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How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
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Some Slut From the UK Named Peaches Has a Drug Overdose
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Some USC Chick Shows Off Her Huge Tits…
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Some Pussy Cat Audition Pictures
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The Omarosa And Wendy Fight Video
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Ronaldo is Not Straight
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ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS:

Some Mom Makes a Nude Booty Shake VIdeo With Her Kids in the Room
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Here are the Rest of Her Nude Pics
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Some Black Chick Masturbating Her Pierced Box Video and Other Pics
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A Whole Lot o Slutty Inked Up Girls
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Some Sheer Panties and Titties on a Black Chick
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Let’s Celebrate the Joys of the Digital Camera
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

22

Jul

Traci Bingham and her Melon’s of the Day

This picture of Traci Bingham and Watermelon tits is racist. I take offense to it.

It’s saying that all black people think about is watermelon and the even a set of retarded fake tits would look better if shit was made of watermelon. I am surprised she’s not taking this joke to the next by sticking a Whopper from Burger King between her legs and strapped a blonde white girl with a fat ass to her back, while singing gangster rap, coordinating a drive-by-shooting, after stealing your bike and pickin’ cotton for the nice white folk on the plantation who give them some time off to play basketball and sit on the stoop cat calling girls who walk by or dancing….

I guess this bitch will just push the limits on shit to get any type of exposure she can for her new reality show that’s coming out. Google it, because I’m not about to help this racist out.

Posted in:Melons|Traci Bingham

2008

22

Jul

Jodie Marsh Has Retarded Tits of the Day

Jodie Marsh is a glamour model from the UK who tries too hard because she was teased growing up, to the point of comtemplating suicide. She went onto marry some radio DJ in some kind of poorly planned publicity stunt and he ended up dumping her due to poor hygiene, whatever the fuck that means, I assume it means her pussy smells rank, but what the fuck do you expect when you marry an attention craving slut with retarded fake tits who is out everynight getting wasted and who has fucked countless people and above all is a piece of trash. The truth is that I don’t know if the guy really knows what bad hygiene at least not in a way that I do and that week old kitchen garbage smell he’s smellin on Jodie Marsh probably has nothing on the shit I’ve seen growing on my wife. The truth is that dude needs to stop being such a whiner beause if you marry a garbage of a woman who looks like a street whore, you have no right judging her because she smells like one.

Here she is partying in her American Apparel gold pants and a shirt made for big titty sluts who feel like showing off.

s

To See Other Pics of Jodie Marsh’s Tits Slutting Out at Another Event
GO

Posted in:Jodie Marsh|Tits

2008

22

Jul

Gina Lisa’s Full Sex Tape of the Day

I posted these nude pics of Gina Lisa (pronounce GEENA not VAGINA , even though she used her vagina as a lame attempt to get attention and more work sent her way by releasing a sex tape.

Now, I am all for girls fucking on camera and letting me watch the shit, but from my experience it doesn’t always lead to new found interest and success, usually it’s better to not get naked so that people always lust after you, because once we get the pussy, we usually just forget about it and move onto other pussy.

The only real reason the sex tape worked for Paris was because it was taboo, she was rich and rich kids weren’t supposed to act like that and it ended up thrusting her into the spotlight and made her a lot of money, but for someone who already looks like a whore and who you’d think was already a seasoned pornstar buy lookin’ at her, it may just lead a a bad porn career, because based on this sex, she’s not very good, it is just more evidence that if a girl thinks she’s hot and shit, she just doesn’t perform as well as an ambitious and hungy ugly chick trying to prove herself by overcompensating on the dick, the way I like.


Either way, watch it if you want, it’s barely NSFW and her co-star is some balding chubby dude with no porn dick, something that will make your jerking off to it more intimate and realistic like shit’s in the “first person”.
GO

Posted in:Gina Lisa|Sex Tape

2008

22

Jul

Mick Jagger’s Daughter Georgia May in a Bikini of the Day

Her name is Georgia May and she’s Mick Jagger’s 16 or 17 year old daughter with Jerry Hall. She’s a model and here she is in her bikini on vacation with her boyfriend, something I suggest all 16 or 17 year old’s do without their parent’s supervision because it makes teenage pregnancy that much more possible and I fucking love teenage pregnancy, almost as much as I love hangin outside abortion clinics to pretend I am pro-life just to help add guilty feelings to young sluts at an impressionable guilt ridden time. It’s my part in making the world a better place.

The truth is that rich kids grow up faster than middle class kids, they are on their own while their parents are out doing rich people things, they are raised by their nannies that they don’t really feel any major responsibility to, and they are given lots of money to shut them up, keep them occupied and fund all their cries for attention like running away from home, drug addiction and sympathising with kidnappers. That’s why most rich girls have vaginas of 47 year old prostitutes by the time they are 15 and you’ll know that I am right the second that Miley Cyrus sex tape hits and that I don’t post because it’s not worth going to jail again.

Either way, here is Georgia May in all her youthful fertility and experimental sex drive on the beach in a bikini when her parents are no where to be found…..

Posted in:Bikini|Daughter|Mick Jagger

2008

22

Jul

Joanna Krupa at the Ed Hardy Bikini Fashion Show of the Day

I fucking hate Ed Hardy and everyone who wears it. I don’t know what it is about decorative, colorful vintage tattoo lookin’ shirts that cheesy tanned, gym-bound mainstream club goers get boners for but I like to think it’s just because shit’s expensive, celebrities wear it and I blame Hollywood.

It’s like if they don’t realize that a t-shirt costs 3 dollars at most blank and 20 dollars at most finished even with the use of every single possible type of silk screening or graphic application technology that one shirt can handle but shouldn’t because shit ends up looking like one of my cum shots after a bout with an STD, you know tainted with blood, mucus and shaped like a skull in a top hat because the fever is making me delusional, and are paying upwards of 300 dollars to just fit in.

This is the product of the success of the Von Dutch movement that targeted the same poser, Grey Goose bottle whoring, big bicep dudes and club slut fake tit girls they recruit at the tanning salon, who listen to Bob Sinclair and who don’t have any concept of what’s actually going on in the world, but know that all their friends are rockin’ it and so are the celebrities and that must mean it’s good. They don’t realize that dude realized that magic formula where you can get celebs to wear your shit if you give it to them for free and then all these mainstream followers will eat shit up, especially if you take that product that normally costs 3 dollars and make them believe it’s worth absurd amounts more than it is.

Maybe it’s marketing genius, I like to think it’s just representative of the hell that we are living and the stupidy of the general public and their need for the media to tell them what’s up and I don’t anticipate Ed Hardy to go away anytime soon, despite hoping that it does, but the good news is that Joanna Krupa was one of their bikini models recently, and I am always ready to get down with communism when it looks like this no matter what shit stupid clothes its wearing.

Posted in:Bikini|Ed Hardy|Joanna Krupa

2008

22

Jul

RIP MOTHERFUCKER the Estelle Getty Edition of the Day

Estelle Getty died today, making jerking off to episodes of the Golden Girls alot less humiliating. Shit’s like eating a fucking dozen donuts when on a diet but the truth is that everytime I ever jerked off to a girl who I knew was dead, I always felt like it was a spirtual experience, like she was right there in the room with me, making it more beautiful than the regular shameful, self-loathing one you normally have when you realize that you are jerking off to someone who is 90.

Truth is that she was 84, so it was bound to happen, I actually thought she was already dead, but I wouldn’t be surprised if shit is just staged to sell the DVD Box Sets of Empty Nest, you know ripping off the Heath Ledger Batman Marketing strategy because Hollywood only has so much creativity to offer.

Posted in:Estelle Getty|R.I.P.

2008

22

Jul

Audrina’s Bikini Pictures of the Day

Audrina proves that if you’re ugly and you know it, don’t clap your hands, hit the gym, get an eating disorder, do cocaine to boost your self esteem and feed delusions that you’re hot, get your dad to buy you fake tits, and wear a fucking bikini every chance you get, because if you can’t control your mangled fucking face, you can always take control over your body and make it something better than the other ugly chicks out there, leaving you as the ugly hot chick instead of the hottest ugly chick and that fine line is a major one you don’t necessarily want to cross. I hate her, I hate what she does, I hate her show and I hate her face but I like how she looks in a bikini and so should you.

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Bikini Pictures